Nowadays, here in the western world, it feels like there’s so much emphasis on “self”. We are taught that in order to date, we must work on ourselves, we must make ourselves happy, we must love ourselves etc. While those aren’t bad things in theory, I think the way they are now pushed is unhealthy.

Part of any relationship is about doing things for your partner. To work as a team and complete one another and all that. I can’t speak for everyone, but I honestly think a lot of failed relationships and marriages could be saved if one or both parties actually took the time to compromise for the other. That’s what being in a committed relationship means. But it seems most people would now make slight lifestyle differences into actual dealbreakers. So many people seem unable and unwilling to get into relationships or work on their existing relationships, and would rather focus solely on themselves.

Everything is “me, me, me” nowadays. And it goes way beyond dating. Things like public service and sacrifice don’t mean what they once used too. Religion is on the decline. Everyone seems to want to live for themselves, but in my experience the happiest people are those with a higher calling, who live for more than just themselves. People talk about how terrible it is to have kids, but I can speak from experience that the people who do have kids work a hell of a lot harder and have a reason to actually put up with their job. When you live for something or someone other than yourself, you’d be surprised what you can do.

When you go into dating thinking solely about your wants and needs, you will have a hard time. Hell, you’ll have a hard time with life in general. And I am NOT saying this to justify people staying with abusive partners or unhappy relationships. That’s a whole different topic.