How can I take rejection graciously?

staggerlee718nyc · 2022-09-25T22:52:24+00:00

I have bad news for you. Women are extremely turned off by anxiousness and cowardice. And they are extremely tuned on by bold men who don't give a fuck.

You have a conundrum. You don't want to get dirty, but you want to dig a ditch. It ain't happening buddy. The only way past fear is through. You have to face it and find out that it is just an illusion.

revente · 2022-09-25T23:51:50+00:00

By constantly approaching and getting rejected more and more. Eventually rejection will be like someone saying "goodbye" to you, very common.

python834 · 2022-09-26T02:19:30+00:00

You just pretend they are NPCs in a video game. Life is basically a video game with 0 respawn anyways.

Parking_Wafer · 2022-09-26T04:31:17+00:00

Have a purpose.

When I was chasing girls, i took rejection very personal. But the reality is, is that they have their own things going on and they’re flooded with a bunch of other guys like you or better trying to get in their pants. I realized that chasing girls is kind of pointless.

I then found joy and purpose in my work and had goals that didn’t involve girls. I started obsessing about excelling and making more money and eventually, my confidence improved significantly. Because girls could smell that I wasn’t putting them on a pedestal anymore or afraid to lose them.

Find something that is truly important to you and obsess about making progress making your goal a reality. Then when girls reject you, you will think “man that sucks… anyways I got better stuff to do”.

But I would still practice talking to girls but don’t approach them at the mall or anything. Try to network, try to make important business connections, make friends with people who know a lot of people, etc. Become an important man and then your fear of women will fix itself.

A man is the size of his problems. If your big problems are getting a girl to text you back, you have a small life and that’s unattractive. Become excellent, that’s my advice. Good luck!

Off2damoon · 2022-09-26T07:05:55+00:00

It's only in the wake of success that you realize that failure was never your fate.

Once you experience the sweet satisfaction of victory you will learn a new reality. You will truly embody the belief that you are a sexually-viable man and who knows there are women out there who find him attractive and bang-worthy. Your fears of rejection will be unfounded because you will know what is possible. Remember, 100 no's and 1 yes is still a yes.

sussykeke · 2022-09-26T08:19:06+00:00

First of all - attractive people get rejected all the time. It's not humanly possible to be everyone's type. And sometimes they like you and it's just not the right time. You don't know what they're going through.

Second of all - social progressive overload. Start by talking to 1 stranger a day. Doesn't matter about what, but it has to be a full on conversation, not just a "good morning" or "I'll pay using my credit card". Do one a day consistently (this is key). So every day you talk to someone. Then scale this goal up. Either by talking to two strangers a day. And then when you're talking to two strangers a day, you also gotta approach 1 girl a week. And do shit like this, just never break the flow of being social.

ShortStuffV2 · 2022-09-25T22:48:59+00:00

Rejection is extremely common. "Soft" rejections where they appear to like you and then change their minds feel a lot worse and are also super common.

The reason a lot of the guys here say "work on inner game first" is to recognize that these rejections are capricious and aren't a good measure of your worth as a person or potential mate, and even if they are it's not like it's a curse on you that will last for the rest of your life. If you have a bunch of other positive shit going in your life it will help buoy you through these feelings.

I got ghosted by a pretty hot girl just the other day and I felt like dog for a week, but now I'm totally fine. It's like playing guitar, you just have to let yourself get callused over a little.

incognito3107 · 2022-09-26T06:38:32+00:00

You should work with positive odds, that there are some sings that you won't be rejected. Rejection is pretty common, you can't really imagine that everyone is reciprocating each other's feelings, right? That's why you should test the ground before you make major move, to minimise awkwardness of misinterpreting the mood.

You can handle rejection by simply realising that it is normal and unavoidable sometimes. Would you like to force any girl to like you? Also, it is very important to have a positive social circle that won't sabotage your pickup game.

ozzzy83 · 2022-09-26T08:25:00+00:00

I understand you, but you MUST learn how to not take it personally. See it as not being compatible with that girl, as it is, a normal thing, and move on. It sucks, but you must approach in orther to get what you want.

chickenfriedsteakdin · 2022-09-26T10:57:21+00:00

The secret is to not care! Your worth doesn’t come from outside yourself but inside. You put too much pressure on the interaction. Frame it the right way. :You’re fantastic and if she’d like to JOIN YOU she’d be lucky. Also : Did you work out that day? You eating right and dropping fat? Feeling stronger? That in itself helps you FEEL your wealth

MeteoraRed · 2022-09-26T13:34:25+00:00

Have an anti-fragile mindset , every rejection is an info of an error on what not to be or do ! Learn improvise and tackle next with non-attached mindset.

Immediate_Drama4095 · 2022-09-26T01:33:19+00:00

With a smile. You can never have too many friends brother

Neo-Rio · 2022-09-26T03:34:16+00:00

Even street hookers get rejected, and you are - to women - no different.

Artist-in-Residence- · 2022-09-26T11:25:09+00:00

Well rejection is a part of life. You have to act graciously in order not to seem like a sore loser. Most people who can take rejection well usually have plenty of other people who are interested in them due to their easy-going persona.

PlayHardGoBroke · 2022-09-26T11:48:07+00:00

dating is a numbers game and a no just gets you closer to a yes.

lifeintraining · 2022-09-26T05:10:54+00:00

Call her a bitch to protect your ego. Works every time.

EatUhFrank · 2022-09-26T00:21:56+00:00

By realizing it will suck no matter how you see it.

Whenever I’m about to do something outside my comfort zone I don’t sugar coat shit. I tell myself “this going to suck or may suck” because that facts. There’s a possibility for both bad, and good outcomes and you can’t do shit about it.

Just the nervous feeling alone sucks by itself. You don’t have to be comfortable with the feeling in order to do what needs to be done. You can’t control fear, and you can’t just stop caring either. You have to embrace for bad outcomes also, just as much as you look forward to the good outcomes.

BallsOfSteeeeel · 2022-09-26T10:37:05+00:00

You honestly feel kind of alive after a rejection. At least you went out of your comfort zone and went for something you wanted. It’s good to feel alive in this life.

It’s mature. Women need/want/like mature guys. They don’t want children. They see you react poorly to something like that and it’s a huge turn off.

It’s like poker. If you go lose a big pot, you don’t throw a huge tantrum. You just keep playing level headed and try to win the next one!

NoFap_FV · 2022-09-26T10:40:42+00:00

Get rejected so many times that it basically b becomes a pass time

juduujuuuduuuu · 2022-09-26T11:06:52+00:00

Just get rejected multiple times youll eventually get used to it. Your skin will get thick

Phelly2 · 2022-09-26T12:08:23+00:00

Getting rejected is going to happen like 90-95% of the time.

The only way to get over it is to expose yourself to it. Do it over and over. Like, get rejected on purpose. Until it bothers you a lot less.

I mean it always sucks. But it doesn’t have to be debilitating.

West-Albatross7544 · 2022-09-26T12:16:30+00:00

note : there are two peinciple emotions that if we dont master them they will be the main cause of most of the chaos in our lives which both are FEAR AND GREED (DESIRE ). it doesn't mean that we should ditch them away at the end these emotions are integrated deeply in our human nature but we should think instead of reacting to them .

Bobfizzer123 · 2022-09-27T01:36:21+00:00

This is my personal take so maybe it won’t work for you but what’s really worked for me is finding the 3 positives of getting rejected (sounds backwards I know)

(You had the courage to even talk to someone) If you had the balls to go up to talk to a girl then you’re already ahead in so many ways. You created an opportunity that literally could’ve not existed, if she’s not into you then guess what? The same outcome would’ve happened if you said nothing at all. Yes it sucks to get rejected, but on the off chance that she actually is into you, you could miss out something special.
(Every loss is a learning lesson) When you get rejected, and yes it happens to literally everyone, don’t get discouraged. Instead, evaluate what went right and what went wrong. It could literally be anything and that’s ok, just start trusting in yourself and If you see things resonate with girls more often then add it to your list of things to do when interacting. Just recognize that you will always be the medium in every room you step in (not the most attractive dude but not the least either) so improving in areas such as body language, attitude, confidence, humor, teasing will just further your game to its maximum.
(Rejection makes “winning” much more rewarding) If you think about it, who wants someone who doesn’t want them back? Once you find a girl that likes you for you and wants to have a conversation with you, then you essentially won. They choose u, just like you chose them and you’re not with someone who is halfheartedly into you. Just be confident in yourself and girls will instantly be attracted to someone who knows their own worth.

neversleeps212 · 2022-09-26T01:46:35+00:00

Do you want the good news or bad news first? Psych: they’re the same thing. Everybody gets rejected including really good looking guys. Even Drake is always drooling after women he can’t get or at least can’t lock down (eg Nicki Minaj). So understand that rejection happens and really it isn’t personal and need not be a big deal.

Dorsiflexionkey · 2022-09-26T04:46:25+00:00

1) you get in more reps

2) you realise 80% of rejection are comprised of things out of your control

zapadz · 2022-09-25T23:22:29+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHfAMh6Edm4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9jUdynifAk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wW8yzTUFcts

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zl2rquarP5I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuXjyvcpRFA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMChZC2fopI

recyclablebanthas · 2022-09-26T08:15:39+00:00

1

I have a tremendous fear of getting rejected.

Much of it is in how you view it. I'll give an example.

If you go to a store looking for a specific thing, say a specific kind of shoes, and the store doesn't have it, it's disappointing.

But at the end of the day, you're just going to check other stores until you find what you are looking for.

It's not a reflection of you that they don't have what you want. It isn't a knock on them, either.

2

So much so that I rarely ever ask girls out. It is a blow to my ego and I feel horrible for days....

So, this mindset is like a guy going to one store, finding out they don't have the right shoes, taking it personally, and then giving up for days.

bandsupjay · 2022-09-26T06:35:33+00:00

Maybe stop placing so much of an emphasis on what people think about you and write down the worse thing that can happen and see that it isnt me. Other than that get help,

inline6throwaway · 2022-09-26T00:07:10+00:00

Practically speaking, when you get rejected face to face (not on the "back end"), just smile and say "ok cool have a nice day" or something along those lines. If she wants to be an ass about rejecting you (which that should be rare as long as you're smooth about the way you approach), don't get mad. You can Crack jokes in response. Don't be afraid of harsh public rejections. If you get rejected on the back end ( meaning she gave you her number but will not respond to texts or calls, or is extremely dry in the texts, takes hours or days to reply, etc), don't get mad or blow up her phone with bitter messages. Just stop reaching out to her but leave the door open (i.e. hit me up when you wanna go out) and meet someone else or distract yourself/ move on to something else. Constantly meet more women looking to see which ones you connect with

Aris3048 · 2022-09-26T01:01:54+00:00

Someone says no. You say okay cool. Then you eat a sandwich and never think about it again because if you didn't ask the default was also no. The only way to get any change is to ask for it. A rejection isn't a loss, it's a reset to baseline. Nothing changed so literally it doesn't matter.

Successful_Teach366 · 2022-09-26T02:58:34+00:00

Knowing you wouldn’t want to be with someone that rejects you because there will be that better someone that will take you as you are. Straight up

aviator122 · 2022-09-26T03:10:29+00:00

Just say “take it as a compliment” and it doesn’t become awkward

strangebuttru · 2022-09-26T03:42:47+00:00

By not taking it personal. Setting and timing play a huge role in potential relationships. It's rarely only about you, the person.

Delicious_Ad_1853 · 2022-09-26T03:43:31+00:00

Rejection is wayyyyy harder when you're hungry for approval. When you're in a place where you're comfortable with yourself and you're routinely walking away from women because you can tell that the compatibility isn't there, it's much much easier to not take every little thing personally.
Practice. After you've been through it a lot of times, you start to realize that this woman's opinion is not the end of the line. Other women will have other opinions.

MaxthePuggle · 2022-09-26T03:47:17+00:00

Smile and say no problem. The only thing you should fear is death. Think of all of the positive things in your live to overcome your nerves before you approach. Remember tomorrow is another day. Good luck and stay positive.

J_Lamsauce · 2022-09-26T04:49:35+00:00

“No worries, have a nice day!” Or if at the club and she blows you out : “have a good night, maybe I’ll see you around!”

Is my default. And I had girls who kinda blown me out re-engage me at a later point of a night.

shitmcshitposterface · 2022-09-26T09:09:46+00:00

'you're mid anyway' and keep it moving

earsurgery9 · 2022-09-26T03:20:35+00:00

I treat rejection as a learning opportunity. You're clearly asking for what you want. There is nothing wrong with that.

Ts9588 · 2022-09-26T05:13:07+00:00

"No worries, have a good one/have a good rest of your day" walk away and onto the next potential pickup

UrFavPlayerIsBack · 2022-09-26T05:30:04+00:00

Ur mistake is that u wanna stop it. That awkward leg-shaking moment

Missing dayzz when I had that feeling

It wasn’t the fear of rejection tbh. It was the fear of success. I knew everyone would say no. I was comfy w it. But what if someone said YES! (or gave subtle signs that I know rn).. guess what. Majority would talk. And go forward. That was my fear.

Then I blowed and missed lotta opportunities. And I made it finally.

Success will be on ur way. Just dont screw it up. Thats all u gotta do ma dude

Public-Buffalo87 · 2022-09-26T07:48:47+00:00

Look up ‘Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria’

https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-adhd-emotional-dysregulation/

Mr_Throwaway2834 · 2022-09-26T10:31:46+00:00

To not take fear of rejection you just need to get used to it, read Mode One

CrustyFruitLoop · 2022-09-26T11:53:17+00:00

someone mentioned purpose, that’s a great one because you care a lot about that one thing more than anything else. another one would be that you weren’t clicking with the person and that there’s somebody out there that will eventually click with you. people who have great personalities and good looks get rejected all the time simply because there’s not always a click. we all have different interests so accepting the other persons difference in interest will make you feel more comfortable with the rejection. :D

FranciscotheBull · 2022-09-26T12:29:30+00:00

First step is just talking just to get used to chatting with women. If you do it at work or school, great! You know how to do it at some capacity. If they are respectful with it and say they have a boyfriend or aren't interested, just don't take it personal; she doesn't know you and she was respectful enough to say it sp just be respectful back and move on. Even if she is rude, the best thing to do is walk away. If she is rude when trying to start a conversation, she probably isn't going to be pleasant in a relationship. Walking away from that without saying a word holds more power and she is not worth your energy.

Regardless, if she says yes, then you are in. If not, your life isn't over. Believe me, your life won't burn in flames; mine hasn't.

HapMeme · 2022-09-26T12:40:38+00:00

I got rejected after a date cuz I kinda dropt my spaghetti at the end I laughed it off shake hands sayd it whas fun and go on my way ... then go to my room cry for 1 day get back on my feet and try again whit the next oane

Amikatey · 2022-09-26T12:50:34+00:00

It's very common to get rejected man, most guys are getting rejected here and there we are here for you man just do it if she rejects you then you have more strenght to move on. Else you never know what would happen.

ThotBubble · 2022-09-26T12:55:46+00:00

You have to not care and not caring comes from being rejected hundreds of times

cryptosis420 · 2022-09-26T15:05:12+00:00

Read this book

https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive-ebook/dp/B019MMUA8S?ref=d6k_applink_bb_dls&dplnkId=879ade3c-63cc-4e41-9dd7-ec194b043e84

MinimumCompetition85 · 2022-09-26T15:21:44+00:00

Getting rejected by girls? Dude who cares. One time I was out with a few friends at a bar, we were all hammered, I spend quite some time flirting with a girl only to go to the bathroom and see her making out with a friend of mine when I came back. I just laughed my ass off and approached two other girls to come join us. The point being, not all girls will like you and that's totally fine. The sooner you know that the better, to cut your loses so to say. Getting rejected is normal, don't overthink it. See it as sorting those out who are not matching with you and try to focus on the ones who do.

georgeofthejungle71 · 2022-09-26T16:19:35+00:00

It's life. Not just sex. Life. It's going to happen. Lots.

Suck it up princess.

ChrisKamanUrMouth · 2022-09-26T16:36:09+00:00

Rejection>>>>>regret. Rejection doesn’t even feel like rejection most of the time because im not emotionally invested in these women when I just met them.

swat199 · 2022-09-26T16:42:04+00:00

You just need to get over the fear, I had it for the longest as well. Women will rarely be rude to you, just compliment and ask for snap. Imma be honest I was a nervous wreck so I got like straight 8-10 rejections until I was able to hold a conversation normally. They all let me down nice tho. I had one bad one but I straight turned away cause there is never a reason to cause a scene from a polite question

Ok-Marionberry-8669 · 2022-09-26T17:46:37+00:00

Face it often, it will be fine after a long time

Ok_Anything_4111 · 2022-09-26T19:38:14+00:00

Say to yourself that you can't lose what you didn't have. The worse that can happen is that she says no and your life stays the same. No point being anxious you have nothing to lose. Pain of a bruised ego is worth the dopamine rush of the first date. You will be rejected more often than not. Let go of the ego, it's not always about you.

PinkLace352 · 2022-09-26T20:45:46+00:00

Well for me, I just accepted that rejection is just a possible outcome. It is sad, but it’s just one of those things that isn’t meant to be. Perhaps to cope with it afterwards, focus on self love and perhaps some healthy coping methods to get past it :)

Adept-Change-2747 · 2022-09-27T08:11:08+00:00

90% of the battle is lost before you ever make your move. I'd suggest not focusing on "getting" the girl. Be having a good time. If somebody catches your interest, show it. "You may have caught me staring across the way at you. Sorry you really grabbed my attention and I had to find out more about you. I'm _____, (if she introduced herself back you have an in because you've already stated your intention) can I grab your next drink for you?" Compliment what specifically drew your attention. Ask her to dance, play pool, darts or if you can manage without to tell you more about who she is since that'll be your goal. You can get to know people AND clearly state your intentions.

Comments about her general vibe means you just thought she looked like she was having a good time and that was appealing to you. Comments about her physical features or clothing means you found her gorgeous. Even if it's obvious you can still acknowledge that and say it. "You must get this all the time but ____" just try to say it with SOME UNIQUENESS. "-- your smile hit me harder than the crushing weight of responsibility lol seriously way off the scales!"

Sorry point I was terribly making is there's nothing to fear if you're out having a good time. If she rejected it was crazy early, and you brush it off "No worries sorry to interrupt your good time, if you change your mind don't be a stranger and I can get you that drink or play that game with you then" then continue your goal of having a good time. Invite others even groups to come enjoy your company.

Strogue · 2022-09-27T10:59:49+00:00

It gets a hell of a lot easier the more you experience it. You lower your expectations and it's easier to move on to the next girl after. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. On the occasion that you're not rejected, it's a pleasant surprise. I'm subscribed to AFF and I have been rejected a few times. Usually due to age since I'm mackin on some older women lol. It can hurt the first couple of times and you might feel undesired or unwanted. Over time, it becomes easy to brush it off. Just be yourself. Be personable, flirty, intelligent, and respect boundaries.

I find that it's also a hell of a lot easier to charm a woman through online dating/hookup sites. You're already behind a screen. Be bold.

Title	How can I take rejection graciously?
Author	JovemDinamico7
Upvotes	98
Comments	90
Date	September 25, 2022 10:44 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xo1h1w/how_can_i_take_rejection_graciously/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-can-i-take-rejection-graciously.1249364 https://theredarchive.com/post/1249364