I 31M asked a girl out at the bar and she said prove yourself?

WickedBiscuit · 2022-07-21T11:37:31+00:00

Exactly what you did

backindis · 2022-07-21T12:42:30+00:00

"prove yourself?" lool

that's funny

you should have laughed as you were walking off

SaltLeader3687 · 2022-07-21T11:43:41+00:00

Sounds like you dodged a bullet

WiiWynn · 2022-07-21T13:19:38+00:00

Exactly what you said, but not walk away. Just laugh. The balls in her court at that point. If she doesn’t laugh at the ridiculousness of her comment and really expected you to prove yourself, then at that point I’d would have walked away.

The problem is that she basically created a scenario where only a simp would comply with that request because of its unreasonableness. So she’d NEVER find anyone ‘worthy’ because of the question. Sort of a ‘loaded shit test’.

Effectively she doesn’t know how to play the game. She’s supposed to be shit testing you through clever disguised probes and jabs. That’s the more feminine approach and could be fun to play.

VinceBrogan8 · 2022-07-21T12:24:37+00:00

If she'd have playfully said something a little more inviting ("How do I know you're worthy", etc), then I might have played into it.

"Prove yourself" just has that arrogance about it. I would have leaned in to her said something like, "You don't deserve me."

Never forget that YOU are the prize.

kennyv704 · 2022-07-21T13:27:35+00:00

Don’t know the whole dynamics / logistics of the situation but this was 100% a shit test to weed out all the weebs. This is one way woman flirt. Although saying you don’t need to prove yourself is fine . If you were interested in her I would’ve re framed the situation and put it back on her. Simply saying “is that your best pick up line?” Or “do you say that to all the cute/hot guys you’re attracted too?” Will keep the banter going … of course it’s not what you say but HOW you say it.

BatBottleBank · 2022-07-21T11:41:26+00:00

Good. Just imagine that women have penises

Basu_Arka · 2022-07-21T12:53:19+00:00

"I will, let's go somewhere were you can take of your panties"

cobraCL · 2022-07-21T12:27:21+00:00

How was her tone? Did she say it in a condescending and cold way or a flirty and playful way?

sward1990 · 2022-07-21T12:42:18+00:00

Well, sounds like you should've approached her 2 hours earlier, rather than waiting until last call and the lights were flickering on. This could start to explain why you received that shit test, which you wrongly perceive as arrogance but really could be her way of finding out WHY you took so long to make a move. Is she your last ditch attempt of the night? Were you afraid of making a move earlier? Are you really that into her? And so on.

And while I suppose you could answer every test in such a stilted and serious manner, the key is to reframe it using humor. I might've started with something like "Sounds intense" or "I don't know dude, sounds intense for a Sat night lol" and then waited for her response -- drawing attention to the fact that this is a bar, she's not my boss, and we're all supposed to be having fun.

Artistic_Taxi · 2022-07-21T15:11:43+00:00

Eh you did the safe thing tbh. She’s probably got an inflated ego. However given that you’re in a bar and you’ll probably never see her again you could have taken a more radical approach and ended up succeeding with what you set out to do.

I have to agree with the other guys getting downvoted here that you probably should have flipped the script and given some witty response. Turn her demand into a big joke, and at the same time break the ice. What’s the worse that could happen? She’s not interested and you never see her again?

Something like: “This place is a bit public for that”

Walking away only works if she’s someone you frequently bump into: for example Comming back next time with a date hotter than her would probably get her attention. But the only thing that’s gunna happen now is you have a story to tell and she’s probably not going to remember your 5s encounter.

DigLucky3112 · 2022-07-21T12:06:33+00:00

Sounds like it could of been used as an opportunity for a joke if nothing else!

If it was me i would of done a silly dance move or grabbed her and kissed her or something wild. If she didn't like you she could of ignored you or walked away, Prove yourself sounds like an invitation.
Personally it sounded like she wanted to play with you without looking easy.... plus she was probably a bit drunk and had her ego stroked by those other dudes so it might of come out a bit cocky than maybe you would get normally.

Saying i dont need to prove myself leaves her no room to come back with anything, how did you expect her to respond!

2022-07-21T12:25:06+00:00

I hate that there's a lot of people like this, like i hate to say this but most women act way too high and mighty for their own good, it actually feels like i've been lowering my standards to give them a chance lately hahaha

tristian_lay · 2022-07-21T14:23:30+00:00

“So it’s a fight to the death then” ;)

leafhog · 2022-07-21T15:10:06+00:00

Another possible response:

“Okay. Wait right here.”

Then go home.

Maxi_King_99 · 2022-07-21T14:02:25+00:00

How did she said it? I think this is very important. If she said it with a smile on her face it's completly different as if she actually meant it ... If she really meant it, this would be pretty arrogant and would be a total turn off for me ... Then I would have done the same as you!

Crazybubba · 2022-07-21T15:51:41+00:00

This is known as the shit test in PUA circles, look it up and plan your responses accordingly

ashwheee · 2022-07-21T16:35:06+00:00

You waited until the end of the night, she was probably a couple drinks in and sassy, and had already been approached repeatedly.

What you did wrong was wait too long. She didn’t see any confidence in you and sassed her way out of it because she didn’t want to deal with “yet another.”

You should have approached her way earlier in the night. You know the scene in Hitch where he approached her in the bar? This is like that …

OriginalMandem · 2022-07-21T16:40:38+00:00

"I'm kind of a big deal. I own many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany" 60 percent of the time, it works every time (if they've seen Anchorman)

dark_rabbit · 2022-07-21T15:44:32+00:00

You failed.

Listen you can not like what a girl says and also not be butt hurt about it. She was waiting for banter, she was waiting for wit, and instead you clammed up and took your ball(s) home.

I think you were unprepared for her trying to show any sign of power, and you didn’t know how to challenge her. At the end of the day, every woman wants a guy that’ll take her blows and follow up with something that puts her in her place, or makes her chuckle to see that you’re made of Teflon.

bandsupjay · 2022-07-21T15:58:21+00:00

Probably just thought you were a loser no offense because you didnt make a move. Next time if you’re feeling it just go walk up. Could be daunting but you know now

Chicagoj1563 · 2022-07-21T16:09:31+00:00

It’s a shit test. You could have ignored the statement and just talked about whatever you wanted. Or, just self amused about the comment. Main thing is to be non reactive to it. Walking away is a bit reactive, unless you had no interest in her at that point.

farang · 2022-07-21T16:20:20+00:00

Look her right in the eyes, smile with just a hint of a smirk, and say "Okay, but not here".

2022-07-21T16:42:31+00:00

Possible alternative perspective: Maybe it was just a bit of banter and she was looking for a confident cheeky reply! Even answering it with a laugh and saying “I have no idea what that means! 😆 I think you are stunning and couldn’t keep my eyes off you. Had to come say hello… you expecting me to duel someone for your favor? This may be a weird night.”… She would laugh and you proved yourself that you are confident to handle teasing banter and don’t take anything too seriously and that you will put in charm to graft a bit and offer a compliment. She was simply like “how are you different and what kind of energy are you coming to me with?” It was poorly handled by her because she put you on the defense like she was saying “what makes you worthy” and it maybe triggered something in you where you have felt that before and worked to overcome it by understanding you are enough as you are. That is very important work and we have all had to do that through our development. Your reactive impulse to feel insulted is understandable, yet perhaps not necessary. I don’t think it was that deep. A bar is a bit of a hunting game and energies get primitive based on attraction. Confidence is not getting miffed because you are enough (in this context), the confident response was to prove you can roll with the convo and say, “like fight a lion? What are we talking about here?” And see what she said. Funny is fun. If she was awful and she was looking to hear your job, your income, your car… she would be a superficial asshole with no social skills. THEN you walk away because she proved HERSELF a dick. Personally, I don’t think that is where she was coming from, yet I wasn’t there and maybe you are right that she is so insecure that she says dumb things. You will never know because your feathers got ruffled and you left instead of being cheeky confident and then walking away when she proved to be not worth your time. I understand that past feelings of any rejection can make us reactive at times, but being unflappable and charming always wins and at least gives you a chance to show you are a fun guy, at ease with himself and give it a chance to see if she is fun and confident and playful or if she was truly being condescending. Then you can say, “nice to meet you and speak to you” and move along and she will feel like a total knob for being so awful to talk to with that the cool guy had to move along. Just saying, “prove yourself” doesn’t mean you have to prove anything except that you don’t get rattled by bar talk bullshit and gracefully move along when you bump in to assholes.

OriginalMandem · 2022-07-21T16:58:43+00:00

Idk OP, did you want to get laid, or prove a point?

TheSummerViking · 2022-07-21T13:34:06+00:00

I think you made the right move, OP.

It was arrogant of her to say and you followed your gut.

However, in future, this is a great excuse to get away with something outrageous such as kissing her on the mouth or grabbing her ass. It's an excuse for you to be as equally as arrogant.

If she acts shocked you can just roll with it. "What, you did say for me to prove myself..." Because whether she meant to or not she gave you verbal permission with next to no instructions. In short: she is asking to be pleasantly surprised by the guy she has been making eyes with throughout the night.

The reality is she wouldn't have said such an open-ended statement with room for interpretation and potentially fatal miscommunication if she found you to be an ugly serial killer who made her uncomfortable.

PoinFLEXter · 2022-07-21T12:00:05+00:00

Imho the correct reaction would have been to answer with a joke or to ignore it and say what you originally planned. You have to hold your frame. You should have taken her less serious/literal and been more playful.

Ordinary_Yam1866 · 2022-07-21T11:56:56+00:00

Just ask her: Who raised you?! And leave.

Iamamindfullsoul · 2022-07-21T12:52:25+00:00

Games and drama are things these self proclaimed women do. You don’t want that drama.

Rymasq · 2022-07-21T13:38:29+00:00

The response you gave was good, a better response would’ve “you aren’t worth proving”

Top_Professional4545 · 2022-07-21T15:10:50+00:00

Pissed all over her feet and declared that her pussy was yours now

hagakurejunkie · 2022-07-21T15:18:51+00:00

It was a shit test and you passed with flying colors.

You just have to realize that some women just like getting men to do things for them. Had you tried to engage her in conversation, you would of ended up just having to pay for drinks and a whole bunch of other crap and she STILL would have wasted your time.

Romantic_Adventurer · 2022-07-21T12:23:47+00:00

Great question!

Hypnosis route:

"I am already proving myself, that is why you are here"

Erikson hypnosis route

"You know, you remind me of a story from when I was a little kid... (just tell some stupid story to see her reaction)"

Dance route:

"I want to dance with you right now"

david snyder questions route:

"Tell me, what was the most fun you ever had in your life?"

Stay grateful, Romantic_Adventurer.

postmodernskata · 2022-07-21T14:17:26+00:00

you could have used this as an opportunity to banter. but instead you chose to be a whiny bitch

2022-07-21T13:38:40+00:00

Exactly what you did

coolerape · 2022-07-21T14:02:33+00:00

sound good to me

mjornir · 2022-07-21T14:07:21+00:00

Nailed that shit king, know your worth

2022-07-21T14:22:54+00:00

Lol. Exactly what you said and did is 100% perfect! I would have done the same except laughed in her face hysterically too

KaleWeekly · 2022-07-21T14:29:35+00:00

That was the correct move

NightMasterDom · 2022-07-21T15:03:21+00:00

You did the right thing, period. If she was into you, she wouldn’t say that. By the way, you walking away like that, you have proven yourself big time, she lost.

Thuggyfresh1989 · 2022-07-21T15:11:37+00:00

That hoe has her head up her ass lol good thing you walked away from it OP

Secretsensation150 · 2022-07-21T15:34:21+00:00

Yea even me as a female she was probably drunk 😂lmaooo I wouldn’t Ask guy that especially the very first encounter

GrandKingSuperb · 2022-07-21T15:37:13+00:00

.....

DeJuanBallard · 2022-07-21T15:37:52+00:00

Walking away without saying anything is best, this is a close second.

Asha990 · 2022-07-21T15:39:10+00:00

The satisfaction I get from think about her sitting at home on her bed alone trying to figure out why you didn’t fall for her silly games is top tier

Karuromon · 2022-07-21T15:58:12+00:00

Totally chad move

HHaTTmasTer · 2022-07-21T16:20:37+00:00

You did right, my though is always "you idiot that is exactly why I am asking you out".

LeaderOfWolves · 2022-07-21T13:18:50+00:00

I woulda put her hand on my cawk "now it's your turn to prove yourself" XD

notanewbiedude · 2022-07-21T13:42:36+00:00

I would have said "you wanna get out of here already?"

maxpossimpible · 2022-07-21T13:46:46+00:00

You should have countered with "Yes, you should" and laughed.

2022-07-21T13:53:42+00:00

I would have said “no” but not walked away

PoorGrower123 · 2022-07-21T14:00:55+00:00

ok bathroom now!

2022-07-21T14:21:07+00:00

She wanted you to prove yourself using the induction method. Simple arithmetic bro.

Plenty_Software4415 · 2022-07-21T14:26:28+00:00

Haha personally I wish you looked her up & down… to assess her value…and as you didn’t think she was worth the effort, with an unpleased facial expression said “no thanks” and then walked away :)

OriginalMandem · 2022-07-21T14:39:01+00:00

There was this gorgeous girl (Jane - not real name) (always well dressed and prissy) that I was totally into in my senior year of high school. She was a year younger than me and I asked her out and she acted all arrogant and turned me down rudely.

5 years passed and some coworkers grabbed me and dragged me into some country and western bar I’d never been……all of a sudden, there was this girl, that I had asked out, walking up and standing in front of me, asking me what I wanted to drink? At first she didn’t recognize me, then slowly I could tell she realized who I was….. and SHE WAS A WAITRESS there!!! and man oh man did she look ratted out, rode hard and put away wet! I mean, she was a 10 in high school but life had been rough on her, or hard partying had turned her into a 3…..

I stood there for 5 seconds not believing my eyes that this gorgeous girl I knew in high school looked so incredibly trashy and spent in only 5 years.

And all I could blurt out was “oh my god! JANE! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!? You use to be so gorgeous! Goddam!”

With that - she shot me the ugliest coldest scowl ever and marched off! Lol. Never did get a beer from her. Lol

Saw her on Facebook years later. Gawd. It just got worse………

bootsncatsnbootscats · 2022-07-21T14:41:25+00:00

You should’ve at first looked bewildered and confused, then slowly a look of invention grows on your countenance as you realize just how you will prove yourself. “Ok!” You reply, “I’ll prove myself…I just need a pen and paper” As you’re provided the necessary tools you begin writing out a really complicated mathematical theorem just to prove yourself.

CombatPunk88 · 2022-07-21T14:55:04+00:00

Flip a coin and regardless of what face it lands on, look up at her and say "It looks like I'm getting lucky"

PartyWithArty44 · 2022-07-21T14:57:31+00:00

I would of showed her my magnum condom for my magnum dong

a55_Goblin420 · 2022-07-21T14:59:44+00:00

"Proved yourself"

I platinum trophied a ps4 games the day it came out once.

JFizz06 · 2022-07-21T15:59:59+00:00

A guy said that to me one time and I literally just walked away without responding

Comfortable-Unit-897 · 2022-07-21T16:16:26+00:00

You should have written your number on the back of a fake deposit receipt! When she calls (Because she saw the balance on $1,784,325.45), ask her to prove Herself!

RomanDad · 2022-07-21T16:28:46+00:00

You handled it perfectly!

Earl_Hungus · 2022-07-21T16:34:25+00:00

I would have asked “how would you like me to do that?”

Bryn79 · 2022-07-21T16:48:06+00:00

“I don’t date math teachers.”

Title	I 31M asked a girl out at the bar and she said prove yourself?
Author	sward1990
Upvotes	222
Comments	140
Date	July 21, 2022 11:32 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/w4ed69/i_31m_asked_a_girl_out_at_the_bar_and_she_said/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-31m-asked-a-girl-out-at-the-bar-and-she-said.1253930 https://theredarchive.com/post/1253930

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