Girls won’t meet up again after sex

ConchitOh · 2021-08-08T00:12:21+00:00

Honestly op, I would wager that any girl you do feel a deep connection with, maybe don’t fuck em right away. Perhaps the problem isn’t with the women, its entirely possible you’re just coming across as someone who is solely interested in sex. The next time around, maybe just kiss them and send them home. Girls tend to assume at a default that guys just wanna have sex, so maybe leaving them wondering will end up with repeat dates.

bumbum63 · 2021-08-08T00:27:38+00:00

If she’s keen to sleep with you on the first dates how do you discern the difference between a woman just wanting nothing but no strings attached ONS vs a girl that’s actually keen on you?

All this advice in the comments about just keep on doing the same thing until you get the right one. It’s idiotic.

It sounds like you’re under the impression that in order to actually hook her interest in you, you have to have to sex with her. If that’s the case, you need to take a step back and reevaluate what you think you offer as a man, what value you have as a man.

michelle961 · 2021-08-08T00:28:49+00:00

Basically you don't know the psychology of girls. In general, girls who sleep with you on the first meeting are looking for one night stands. If she's looking for a long term relationship, she will not risk you thinking badly of her.

CicadaProfessional76 · 2021-08-08T00:36:09+00:00

Not having sex with them isn’t going to magically make them want to not ghost you and continue seeing you lmao

Significant-Change56 · 2021-08-08T01:02:43+00:00

I think it also depends on how old you are and how old they are. The same thing has happened to me, the difference is that they give me a second and third date, but they do it more as a farewell because of the good sex.

Always on the second date after sex they tell me that they are not interested in a relationship and we end up having sex. The same thing has happened to me more than 7 times in 7months. Which I also understand since I'm in my early 20's, and I've slept with girls 18 and older who just want to live the crazy life.

I want too a rs but i have to continue searching for it. You gonna get better and stronger!

Gaydame · 2021-08-07T23:40:11+00:00

This is easy. You keep going till you find a girl you like who DOES want to see you again.

Simples.

Better still, set your boundaries right at the top : "I'm not looking for a one night stand, and if you are, let's not date!"

MalibuProducer77 · 2021-08-07T23:29:46+00:00

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Dontfeedthelocals · 2021-08-08T01:00:51+00:00

Surprised no one has said this, but rule no 1is to not come across as needy. I could imagine trying to form a deep connection on a first date coming across as needy (it doesn't have to, but it definitely could)

I'd imagine that holding back more, leaving a bit of mystery, holding back from deciding you're even interested (considering all the other option syou obviously have) could build the kind of feelings of value which would make a girl feel deeper.

Legitimate-Lies · 2021-08-07T23:29:15+00:00

They either got mad options, are just bad people, or you’re fucking girls with boyfriends right husbands.

Also, although you said it, the sex might be bad. I know you THINK it doesn’t but it just might.

DesperateForDD · 2021-08-08T01:29:16+00:00

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JMichelleK · 2021-08-08T00:53:38+00:00

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_archi · 2021-08-08T03:17:31+00:00

Wait till third date for sex. Results are magical.

Lotus_82 · 2021-08-08T09:23:04+00:00

No offense but it’s probably the sex. If you ask a girl how you did she’s not going to be mean and tell you she’s been faking her orgasms, because from what you wrote it doesn’t sound like there’s anything else you’re doing wrong.

Did all the girls you had sex with appear to have at least one orgasm?

Spicymayo_0507 · 2021-08-08T12:03:02+00:00

As a woman, I don’t agree with most of comments here. Also I have a feeling that OP is thinking highly of himself a little not only by the post as well as his comments. I would never say to any man that they were terrible in bed even if they were (why hurt someone’s feeling if they are not your problem?) unless their behaviour was worth calling out. I had a gf who hooked up with a really good looking guy she found on Tinder and he was very selfish in bed, no care for her pleasure, and lasted less than 2 mins. How old are you, OP ? And have you ever been in a long term relationship? I found that men who’s never been in a relationship is terrible in bed. Girls who are in ons will still come back for more if you were good in bed. As ONS is rarely any good. Sorry to say this but I am pretty sure the sex wasn’t very good is the reason …

wallynext · 2021-08-08T11:44:24+00:00

I think its interesting that man and women face the same issues, if I didn’t know you were a guy, I would assume this would come from a woman. Anyway, I feel you and wanting to for a bond and a connection is awesome, you don’t seem to be doing anything wrong, it just happened that you met women that just want sex, they dont want a deep connection maybe because they are not ready and just want fun, just keep searching for someone that wants the same as you, its that simple

TallDarkandBot · 2021-08-08T11:44:58+00:00

A girl is not going to magically want a relationship with you simply because you waited a day or two to have sex.

There is clearly a disconnect here and I recommend you take a step back and do some introspection. Take account for what you truly want (is it hookups or something meaningful) and see if that is the image you’re giving off through what you say, but also your actions.

Then, take account for if whatever it is you truly want is coming off to strong. You’re clearly checking off some boxes if they are sleeping with you, so that’s good. But maybe you’re laying it on too thick.

I recommend reading the Kama sutra or watching YouTube videos on sex and oral tips. Whether you want to hear it or not, based on what you’ve said, there seems to be a trend. So take a refresher course and always be willing to get better. Don’t give too much weight to what she says about how good you are at sex. Most people will tell you that just to avoid embarrassment, you will know you did a great job when the bed is wet, she’s shaking, she can’t stop smiling afterwards, or she energetically wants to keep seeing you. Do all those things happen every time? Of course not, but what I’m saying is look at the visual indicators and her actions more than what she says.

Always have the growth mindset. You could very well be good, but we all have room to be better. Hope this helps man.

Benjamino77 · 2021-08-08T02:09:58+00:00

Did u eat them out until they came? Then f’d again until that happened at least twice? That usually gets callbacks. People just say lies because they don’t want to make you mad. Try to exceed expectations.

tjohnson718 · 2021-08-08T00:17:24+00:00

I've experienced similar situations countless times. My theory is that these are either:

a) Low sex drive women who you happened to have met while they were on their bi-annual libido spike and since you satisfied their twice-a-year nut requirement, she can now go back to six-months of voluntary celibacy.

OR..

b) Slut's remorse. While she may have enjoyed the bang, her "good girl" social programming kicked in post-orgasm and she now feels guilty about letting herself become vulnerable to you so quickly. Therefore she responds by immediately shutting off sexual access to avoid reliving that experience in her mind.

Btw, none of these possibilities are the fault of the man. Most women have these never-ending internal conflicts about sex.

INeededAThrowawayCuz · 2021-08-08T05:19:40+00:00

I read the OP but I’m still guessing the sex is bad and you’re too relationship hungry (or a simp). I’ve NEVER heard of a woman not being willing to see a man again after having good sex with him. I’ve had it happen once in my life and my sex was absolutely trash.

If you have good dick they’ll come back for more until it becomes too toxic. At least that’s true in my life-experience.

Do these women orgasm during sex?

PhoenixBln · 2021-08-08T06:20:47+00:00

welcome to the modern dating game dude! please look out for statistics. what happens to you happens to everyone! most tinder hook ups are just one date, fucking, and up to the next dude/girl. boys do it. girls do it. everyone does it. it is just a hollywood created myth that women want a relationship more then men.

specially if you give them signals that you want them to stay and want to get to know them and meet them more often: theyx dont want this. they just want sex with a cool dude who doesnt make a huge fuss about it. they want independent men. if you want more from them, you depend on them, so they leave quicker. they are fearing relationships and one-sided feelings. everyone had them. everyone knows storys about men/women who "wanted more" and which ended in a absolute disaster.

dude. just chill. be independent like them. i know it hurts.... i made same experiences. then i talked to other dudes who fucked a lot of girls and they tell me the same. but most of them just dont care either! and they know this behaviour from themselves. so its easier to accept it.

go on! be strong! have fun! be thankfull for the physicial love they gave you. cherish their memory. fuck bitches, stay nice and polite, have your own goals, work out, be yourself on a social acceptable way.

i feel you bro. stay strong!

Lost_My_Only_Way · 2021-08-08T00:04:37+00:00

Women don't get attached from sex this day in age. You gotta get in their head and not give much validation that they're always chasing.

Fooking-Degenerate · 2021-08-08T06:46:23+00:00

OP, are you neurodivergent by any chance?

I have some pretty heavy ADHD with possible autism and it makes connecting with people very hard, both on my side and on their side.

But Im also a tall, muscular sexy non-threatening dude so I do get easy sex. It's just that the relationship never works out if they dont share the same cognitive functioning.

Im in two (open) long term relationships right now, a girl and a boy, and they both were diagnosed with ADHD and autism. Pretty sure that's not a coincidence...

So yeah, can it be that you are different?

fuck_reddits_censors · 2021-08-08T08:58:47+00:00

It's probably because either

(1) they're just looking for one night stands, or

(2) you did something weird/creepy afterward, and/or

(3) you're bad as sex

Sto94 · 2021-08-08T10:04:20+00:00

What makes you think they didn't lie about sex? Guys can be weird if sb doesn't show them they are the best lol if you were good they would show it, they wouldn't tell it

conary · 2021-08-08T02:18:12+00:00

There are not a lot of women who feel comfortable with the fact that they had sex in a first date. They see it as a fuck up, and think you probably just put them in the fuck category. I enjoy having sex with the same person more than once which is why I am super selective. My f buddy of three years is over and gone and I don’t have anyone lined up. Unfortunately. Many women feel like once they e had sex it’s over. At least for me that’s how I have been made to feel because guys are the same way. They don’t want to f more than once either. We’re not the norm.

LoudGuest4028 · 2021-08-08T01:19:24+00:00

Sounds like you’re living the dream. I just never knew so many girls only looking for sex

burncushlikewood · 2021-08-08T06:31:21+00:00

Huh I have the opposite problem, key is after you hook up with her you wait for her to contact you! Play hard to get after you hook up she'll come back for more. Also it could be the sex, if it's awkward and bad she won't want to anymore

Sultmaker_9000 · 2021-08-07T23:33:17+00:00

They're just after a validation dick usually, can't do much about it. The earliest you should message them back is a week later if there's any chance, and trying to withhold it won't make a difference, because she's not after that.

2021-08-08T05:04:23+00:00

Maybe the type of girls you are attracting just want one night stands. If you just want hookups, then whats the problem? If you want a girlfriend you need to change things up.

RegretAccomplished69 · 2021-08-08T07:30:12+00:00

I think you’re coming on too strong after the first date and scaring them off

RazerHey · 2021-08-08T07:47:10+00:00

Bruh, stop texting them.After a good night don't text. SIMPLE. Especially if you really like them because if they feel the same they'll come back. I know it's backwards but girls react in the most foolish ways due to some unwritten rule and fear or rejection etc

Bogzbony · 2021-08-08T08:34:10+00:00

I guess you're talking about girls that you meet online. You should not think about it and just let things go.

They don't want to meet up again? Fine, take it easy and go on. Meet other girls, online or IRL. Do not waste your time thinking about stuff that can't be answered. You want to know why they don't want to meet you again? Ok, ask them but how will you know if the reason is true? Some will come back to you weeks, months or even years later to meet up again, some will not, some will be attracted and up for long term relationship. She doesn't want to meet you again? Fine, said it was good time (if it is the case) and move on. If it happens all time it means that they are not interested in you because of something in your behaviour and you will have to work on it but heh, who knows?

Birkanx · 2021-08-08T09:20:49+00:00

girls just wanna have fun

Mephaala · 2021-08-08T10:01:15+00:00

Hmm it's a bit strange to me that you're trying to establish a long-term relationship after something that looks like a ons. Usually people who are looking for a committed relationship get to know each other first before they jump to bed, so girls who are willing to have sex with you on the first date aren't probably looking for a long-term partner. If you're looking for something more than maybe you should a) try apps that are focused around matching people based on personalities and what kind of relationship they're looking for (I personally found success with okcupid) b) state it clearly in your bio, that you're not looking for ons.

Shadow__Account · 2021-08-08T10:38:53+00:00

I rarely sleep with someone on the first date and I rarely have girls not wanting to meet up after we slept together. So I really think that seems to be the big difference with you. I also have my doubts, don't take it personal because I obviously don't know you, about you creating a deep connection with the girls, because if you did you won't get rid of them that easily. If you want more than sex from these girls, make it about that, so make the time together be about getting to know her and connecting. You can't really know someone within one date, so basically your attraction and sex on the first date also can't be about or based on someones personality and character traits you really appreciate.

APacNinja90 · 2021-08-08T12:06:30+00:00

The sex sucks

FIVE_6_MAFIA · 2021-08-08T12:15:39+00:00

It's because you aren't good in bed. It doesn't matter how long you make them wait for sex, if the sex isn't good then the result will be the same

TheSmellOfOnions · 2021-08-08T12:26:49+00:00

You bad at sex

2021-08-08T12:51:15+00:00

How old are you? They probably don’t see you mature enough for whatever reason

pearllovespink · 2021-08-08T14:03:26+00:00

Maybe you should stop sleeping with them on the first date.

JetPillar · 2021-08-08T14:37:29+00:00

Lol how are you being used? If the sex was mutually agreed on, they owe you nothing. Not another date, another hook up or another chance. If having easy sex makes you feel used, stop doing it.

2021-08-08T15:03:03+00:00

If you want a deep relationship don’t open up with sex. Start small and maybe 3rd or 4th date work towards the bedroom after you learn about them to know what would set them apart in bed from the rest

TastyOpossum09 · 2021-08-08T15:03:04+00:00

Take sex off the table right away. You don’t have to talk about it but if things are going well and you’re headed for the usual one night stand just tell them you don’t do one night stands. If the girl is just looking for one and done then that will be it and you’ll know it wasn’t you. If she’s interested in more you’ll have a second date.

eatout2helpout · 2021-08-08T15:35:34+00:00

sounds like the girls just want to have fun and if you were chossen by them to have fun with then your a lucky man,if you're looking for a woman to have a relationship with then the women to look for are the ones who won't fuck you on the first date or second

harvey_croat · 2021-08-08T15:35:57+00:00

I remember my friend always asking me: What do YOU want? If told him I want relationship then on dating clearly communicate that and don't waste your time on wrong person.

LakersAreTerrible25 · 2021-08-08T18:32:41+00:00

Most of the women I've been with I've fucked on the first or second encounter. What I'm thinking is you're coming across as too needy and as we all know women despise that. Even simple texts like saying you had a good time often makes you look bad to most women. Get to know the woman, but she should be doing some of the pursuing and most of the talking. Especially after you've fucked for the first time, that investment is already made on her part at that point. Which makes modern dating extremely tricky and you have to be diligent with everything you say/do.

bandsupjay · 2021-08-08T12:56:31+00:00

Ur sex is trash or you get attached too quickly and validate them.

DryAdhesiveness6579 · 2021-08-08T16:59:06+00:00

are you just trash in bed ? That has to be what it is ?

2021-08-08T06:05:53+00:00

Stop sleeping with girls on the first date, even if they want to.if they refuse to meet you inspite of this,then it makes sense not to think about it.

SharkTrainer · 2021-08-08T06:35:40+00:00

Maybe your dick is too big dude

QM9999 · 2021-08-08T04:12:24+00:00

Bro do this. Before you do the act call another girl and make plans for the next day. Create your high value status. Her perspective will change when you have a abundance mentality

Thest0rm_99 · 2021-08-08T09:43:47+00:00

If the dick is that good, she will come back. Im sorry, I dont wanna hurt your feelings but women will not be honest about a thing like that.

You may also be coming off as needy or insecure when you tell them off rip that you wanna see em again. It may just be better to send you girls home after doing the deed and not even mention the possibility of meeting up again or having a further relationship. Women want a challenge and a man they dont know where they stand with, so if you leave things ambiguous, her hamster wheel will spin about why you arent hitting her up or why you didnt plan a second thing with her.

obamainmypajama · 2021-08-08T14:53:11+00:00

Ok ok I have another way of looking at this, maybe OP is a hot ass mf, and the chicks who sleep with him think he is very sexy and they don't expect a call in return. But this mf shows up again and tries to extend their whatever fling/relationship thing. And when he does that he comes off as needy and makes them think 'this guy better not be getting a lot of pussy if he texts every girl he meets to see them again'.

Kinda like a mixture of all the theories bring presented by our fellow seduction sub redditors.

Jamesdoink · 2021-08-08T01:08:07+00:00

🤷 women

ll1896 · 2021-08-08T03:56:27+00:00

Ha I’m a girl dealing with this so it really is all about finding the right person, I’m a sexual person & made it clear I don’t care about waiting if there’s a connection. Always get complimented for my straightforwardness, and then nothing.

Sharp_Slide6806 · 2021-08-08T04:15:09+00:00

You might be trying to hard and chicks dont dig that.

doonietunes · 2021-08-08T04:50:14+00:00

u never know what she got going on. this happened to me before and it turns on she was cheating on her baby daddy. 🤦🏽‍♂️

qazxsw134 · 2021-08-08T06:45:50+00:00

Maybe consider where you’re meeting them. For example tinder? May not be the best option for finding a relationship since it mostly used for hookups. If a relationship is what you are seeking than you should make it clear to them before the date. I also wouldn’t push to fast into having sex the first date either maybe wait a while. If not having sex with a stranger on their first time meeting is a big deal to them then they’re probably not the kind of girl you’re looking for.

2021-08-08T07:18:05+00:00

Then why try sleeping with them? 🤣

Docarky · 2021-08-08T07:31:36+00:00

Same problem for me bro, usually with Tinder dates…but some girls can wait up to the second date or even third… I think is more of a problem finding a girl to settle down… its funny but girl just want to fuck

SebastianPatel · 2021-08-08T07:33:40+00:00

lol how does it go to sex so far if u struggle to meet up with women? Can you give an example of how one of ur first dates turns into sex? Like are u going to dinner or what are u doing? Drinks? As others have stated, you might be giving off the vibe as a one-night stand type of guy.

shayan931 · 2021-08-08T08:02:48+00:00

Ask the women for serious advice ? :P. Maybe some of them will tell you the real reason

The_iron_mill · 2021-08-08T14:16:38+00:00

It could be that there just isn’t a connection. What do you tend to talk about on dates? I don’t think connections are any deeper or less deep if you bang on the first date based on my experience, but you shouldn’t be having sex just because you’re afraid you won’t see someone again. There’s nothing wrong with not having sex with someone if you’re worried that it’ll lead to a different outcome than you want.

Alternatively, maybe it’s a mix of different things; maybe some of them didn’t feel a connection, maybe some of them realized they just aren’t ready for a relationship, maybe some of them were using you? Not that that one has a satisfying answer but if you continue working on yourself and trying to be the best version of yourself, it’ll get better.

MephistosFallen · 2021-08-08T15:52:47+00:00

Stop having sex on the first date. Because there’s multiple things that can be happening, and letting them actually get to know you will help.

Some women will sleep with you because they think you expect it. If that is the case, they won’t want to see you again.
Some women will sleep with you because they want some free food and drinks and some dick. Then they move on because they had their fix.
Some women may not have felt anything besides a sexual connection, and therefore cut you off early instead of dragging on a relationship that isn’t going to work.
Some women will sense there being no chemistry during sex, and will move on to find someone they have chemistry with.
Some women will judge you for how good you are in bed the first time, and if you are not making sure she is taken care of and therefore not as good in bed as you may think, they’re going to move on.

You have to actually get to know them before you have sex. You should wait for the third date at the least and see if that changes anything. It will at least give you an idea of what may be the issue. If you’re not sleeping with them and they still don’t wNt second or third dates, you guys just don’t mesh. If they’re into you for three dates, you have sex and then they are not interested anymore, then there’s probably something wrong happening in the sex department.

Hope this helps.

Dredge-100 · 2021-08-08T15:53:36+00:00

Go buy some Ching a Ling pills pop one. Have sex then let us know how your luck changes

AdPsychological1252 · 2021-08-08T15:55:12+00:00

I do the same thing to girls when the sex was bad...

If it just wasnt that hot or no chemistry...I never see them again.

A woman has to like a man to sleep with him..

A man has to like a woman to sleep with her again...

morphiusn · 2021-08-08T17:05:18+00:00

Some girls just want to bang and not being called a slut for it, so they lie they want a relationship. I mean they would probably think about it if you had million dollars and lambo, but good looking average Joes sometimes are used for fun only. Just like guys use girls. I noticed most girls act the same on tinder (sex and ghost or want fwb) and if you meet girl off tinder they usually looking for LTR. Honestly just have fun and don't look too much into it, eventually one will fall for you.

Orlha · 2021-08-08T17:16:55+00:00

First world problems

medinilla · 2021-08-08T18:12:43+00:00

I think it’s better to try and have a courtship phase before having sex if you want a relationship, so that you can bond a little first. There should be time for anticipation to build, so that being physically intimate feels more special. Good luck.

ImmigratedPharaoh · 2021-08-08T19:17:43+00:00

Personally speaking, I waited a whole month (or even a bit more) since my first date with my current girlfriend before having sex with her. Before our first sex, we went out 5-7 times (Yes I know, a bit too much) but I wanted to make it clear to her that I'm not there for an ONS and I'm really interested in her as a person and willing to wait till the right moment.

One month after our first date, I told her I'll make (her favorite dish) at home and I'm inviting her for a dinner at my place. She accepted it and it was one of the most unforgettable nights in my life up till now.

During those 5-7 hangouts with her, I didn't try to escalate too much, but I also didn't leave a single date without a bit of escalation. (Physically, verbally, etc.)

*I'm no expert AT ALL, but this worked well for me and later on she told me that my approach was quite good and decent.

We both are 24.

PoopFrostedCake · 2021-08-08T19:25:42+00:00

Omg I have a very relevant story to this. This happened to a buddy of mine in college that every girl he slept with never talked to him again. He and I had slept together drunkenly one night and I remembered it being good so I told him that. We decided, Hey! Why don’t we just become friends w benefits? We’ve slept together before, it was good for both of us, we’re already friends, why not? So we left the bars, went home excitedly with our newfound solution, and had sex.

It. Was. Terrible. I immediately understood why those prior girls ghosted. I came to realize the only reason it must’ve been good before was bc of me and my drunken ambitions. Afterwards, I too immediately ended our sexual relationship. Shameful as it was, I just couldn’t.

The girls may be telling you it’s not bad, but they could be just trying to save your feelings.

appmanga · 2021-08-08T20:20:55+00:00

Im (sic) always trying to create deep connection with my dates.

I'm not going to read through the ton of comments to see if someone else has told you this, but I hope they have: sometimes a girl is just looking to get laid. They're not looking for any more connection than connecting your dick to their vagina.

To be honest I feel used because this happens me a lot.

Somewhere out there is a woman who's laughing her ass off and singing "Cry Me A River".

willgo-waggins · 2021-08-08T20:32:56+00:00

Have you considered that either they are involved already and just looking for D (surprisingly common today)? I have a young one right now that I am 110% certain is married but won’t admit it. She can only get together every other week on specific nights and when we had just finished several hours fucking the other night she gets a call from her “mom” (with a very deep voice - lol!) and is talking about yeah she working an overnight shift.

The other requires some objective personal examination. Are you really working to make sure that the woman is satisfied in this encounter? I very rarely don’t have even the ones who are very obviously staying “anonymous” not want to get together again. Think through how the sessions have gone and ask yourself is she really satisfied or not and you may find an answer.

dry-foo · 2021-09-18T15:26:49+00:00

Have you ever asked the girls afterwards why they don't want to meet you again? Just ask an honest explanation. I have gotten one many times after I've assured the women that I don't mind them telling the truth and it will help me develop myself if they tell.

> It just seems they used me as I’m above average looking guy.

Yes. Men aren't the only people who use other people just for having sex without any strings attached. Women also do that and they have the right for that as much as we do.

Maybe the girls were expecting too much from you if you're 9/10 or 10/10?

Girls won’t meet up again after sex

Comments

Kama Sutra

Title	Girls won’t meet up again after sex
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	251
Comments	190
Date	August 7, 2021 11:09 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/p03i3o/girls_wont_meet_up_again_after_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/girls-wont-meet-up-again-after-sex.1278758 https://theredarchive.com/post/1278758