[FR] "They all have boyfriends"

itsmevichet · 2013-03-19T15:32:29+00:00

My new mentality when given the proper setting: "All the girls have boyfriends" and just have fun.

One of the many benefits of outcome independence.

kosby · 2013-03-19T15:22:34+00:00

It just shows just trying to have fun is the strongest move in the book.

IANAPUA_Yet · 2013-03-19T23:59:16+00:00

“The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. But he won't sit upon a cold stove lid, either.”

In other words, you're taking the wrong lesson from this experience.

You basically pulled a Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting. You built up a ton of attraction, but then you made no effort to close. Skylar came back and closed him and your friend closed you on behalf of her friend, but you can't count on that to happen very often. Most girls expect you to notice that they're attracted to you and figure you're not very socially savvy if you don't.

The right mentality to have is that "It doesn't matter if she likes me." "All the girls have boyfriends" gives you the same mentality except that it goes too far by holding you back when they do like you.

antfoo · 2013-03-19T16:51:47+00:00

A lot of girls are ashamed to admit they are single, they are chasing after some dude who is not into them, or they say it to keep cheesy guys away. Once you get to know them you find out most of them are single. The key is to have fun and get to know them.

Roaaarr · 2013-03-19T18:20:52+00:00

Or you can assume none of them has a boyfriend and proceed.

Your assuming she had a boyfiend worked for you here but more than often it will hold you back. On the other hand, assuming all girls are available, and gaming them all with outcome independance will take you further.

It worked here for you because it gave you the outcome independance but it seems you didn't really game her.

batshit_lazy · 2013-03-20T02:08:46+00:00

You forget that you also had the social proof of your mutual good bar friend talking about you and going out with you in a platonic fashion.

It displays a signal of abundance and confidence - and not to downplay your brilliant outcome independence - but that might have been the strongest factor in your game that night.

madhaxor · 2013-03-19T15:15:22+00:00

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throwawayomg · 2013-03-19T15:44:06+00:00

Not to suggest that your mentality is wrong or nitpick, but "dating some guy" != has a boyfriend in my humble opinion.

Mr-Metaphor · 2013-03-20T02:08:38+00:00

always found this concept interesting. When every guy is trying to be her white knight, just treat her like a friend and she'll end up trying to get your attention

TheCuriousDude · 2013-03-19T14:34:21+00:00

I never believe girls who say they have boyfriends unless I meet the dude in the flesh. "I have a boyfriend" is such a common shit test, that I can no longer take the statement at face value. Your mentality "All the girls have boyfriends" is on point. Ask questions like "what's his name?" and call them out if they take too long to answer (because they're likely making it up.) Or just escalate like usual. If they really have boyfriends, you'll eventually find out anyway.

TheSadNick · 2013-03-19T16:38:35+00:00

I don't think you should have the mentality of "All the girls have boyfriends". Some beginners might think they should not pay as much interest into conversations with the girl. I have to say that the only real big reason for her to be hanging over you, was because she liked you. If she wasn't that interested in you, then you surely wouldn't have had the same result.

Socialyawsomepenguin · 2013-03-19T17:20:31+00:00

This is how I wound up stealing a girl from here boyfriend.

februaryrich · 2013-03-19T18:29:32+00:00

I really like this

thebayway · 2013-03-19T21:28:08+00:00

Men and women alike are always on the look out for something better.

99.9% of women would dump their goofy ass boyfriend for Ryan Gosling. You don't have to be that much 'better' than their man for them to jump ship.

Valman · 2013-03-20T11:15:54+00:00

The response to "I have a boyfriend" is "great! That'll give you something to do when I'm not around."

switchfall · 2013-03-20T06:01:37+00:00

I had the same exact realization too! I used to try and flirt with girls and play the "game" or whatever, but it was just going in circles. Eventually I said "fuck it" and decided to just not care about getting girls and just start acting neutral towards everyone. Then, out of the blue, girls start throwing themselves at me, when I'm not even trying! You're mentality sums it up perfectly too, "All the girls have boyfriends", I'm gonna remember this for future reference! Thanks man!

1vibe · 2013-03-20T07:09:34+00:00

That's why they invented IHAB destroyers. i treat IHAB as a shit test.

sed-caelys · 2013-03-20T14:09:57+00:00

Well first of all, I take offense to your idea of "All girls have boyfriends." I have never once in my life told a man that I met at a bar or even in a grocery store for that matter that I had a boyfriend if I didn't. Great way to start off a potential "relationship" with a lie. I am going to assume that this chica you speak of is immature, steeling your hat and taking pictures with it [are you in high school or is she?]. If 5 minutes after you leaving she magically doesn't have a boyfriend, well then obviously she didn't have one to begin with. So honestly, if I were you, I wouldn't even bother contacting her, she already started your friendship off with a lie, what else is she going to lie about?

EDIT: I am sure I am going to get a bunch of DVs for being brutally honest and speaking the truth and that is okay, I understand there are bunch of pansies out there.

2013-03-20T17:46:37+00:00

The truth is (from my somewhat large amount of experience) girls in relationships, just aren't worth it. There are soooo many single girls out there....the girl with a bf almost always leads to a headache that is definitely not worth it. Trust me. If you're on the fence, jerk off, than think it through.

rikjames90 · 2013-03-22T04:19:21+00:00

I like to switch up my openers every week to keep me on my toes so I dont get bored and it doesnt get stale and mechanic.

My new opener is the thumb wrestle opener. I go up to a girl and say "aloha, I want your opinion. How boring and unoriginal are handshakes? We do it all the time when we meet new people. enough is enough. I came up with something more exciting"

we then proceed to thumb wrestle while exchanging witty banter. Its golden. Its new. Shes smiling and laughing.

Born2Ball · 2013-04-12T06:59:41+00:00

Maybe this is why my friend's girlfriends always ending up liking me..

Screenager88 · 2013-03-21T02:41:11+00:00

What about when these things happen, just say something like "I dont want your boyfriend to get jealous" (but obviously more witty than that). Therefore you look like you have standards and it makes you same 'uninterested' when you shrug her off.

gadelat · 2013-03-19T15:12:46+00:00

So you picked her up by not picking her up? Uh i'm not sure if this is within concept of this community. It would help if you said how you treated her specifically. Did you kino her? Eye contact? Did you qualify her? Was there rapport? Make this fr a bit more useful.

bambooleafrhapsody · 2013-03-19T23:31:11+00:00

Yikes! I would hate to be her boyfriend, man!

Beaches and shores!

Orioneone · 2013-03-20T05:38:21+00:00

In these days and times a lot of girls don't respect the need for men and relationships. Girls are equal and know they can get away with a bunch of crap. They have the social power nowadays. If this was way back in the day where there was wars, violence, pillaging, looting, kidnapping, raping, etc. then women would not play games and go back to respecting the need for men.

sebbyk · 2013-03-19T15:53:13+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2013-03-19T18:07:29+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	[FR] "They all have boyfriends"
Author	sed-caelys
Upvotes	674
Comments	219
Date	March 19, 2013 2:16 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ald0f/fr_they_all_have_boyfriends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fr-they-all-have-boyfriends.1349186 https://theredarchive.com/post/1349186

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