The "unequal division of household chores" in large part arises from status competition within female social circles, which the male partner has no obligation to make sacrifices for.

I think at this point it's well known that a major cause of the "uneven distribution of household chores" is greater female neuroticism and differing standards for cleanliness. However, I want to point out another important cause: intra-FSM (female social matrix) status competition.

Here are some examples:

• Having guests over. The husband thinks that it's okay as long as the house is reasonably clean and tidy, but the wife insists that every last corner must be completely spotless and they must spend hours cleaning up every inch of the house.
  • And sometimes, the wife may quite frequently have other people over (e.g. friends, relatives, etc), in which the wife may insist that the house is constantly kept in a spotless state, far beyond what's reasonably considered clean/comfortable.
• Birthday party for a little kid. The husband wants to do something lowkey and fun, like invite some other kids and take them bowling, then head home for pizza and cake. The wife wants to have a grand elaborate celebration with fancy catered food.
  • This kind of thing extends to event planning in general.
• Kids' activities. The husband thinks that the kid should have some structured activities, but also a lot of time to play and explore on their own. The wife wants to micromanage the kid's schedule down to the minute and fill it with a billion different activities and lessons.

These are all things that as you can see, are clearly unnecessary for the benefit of the household. The real purpose of them is to impress the wife's friends/social circle, and to a lesser extent, impress strangers/family as well. So a lot of these "extra household chores" are in reality the woman engaging in status competition in her middle-class/upper middle class social circle, or in a sense, "competitive white picket fencing".

While competing for status is something that you have to do to some extent, the only virtuous engagement in status competitions is the minimum extent necessary to "blend in" and avoid poor treatment/ostracization. This is actually not a very high bar and shouldn't add too much to the list of household labor. What does add a lot to the list of household labor is trying to become high-status within the white-picket fence FSM, and this comprises a significant fraction of the "extra household labor" that women complain about having to do.

So while women are free to pursue this goal, they (and society) should recognize that it is entirely self-serving for the wife- it brings very marginal (if any) benefits to the household, possesses no virtue, and should be put last after all other obligations. More importantly, it should be recognized that the husband has no obligation to make sacrifices to help his wife fulfill this superficial, self-serving goal, including in the form of doing unnecessary household labor.