Am I the only one that finds it hard to trust women with my feelings ever again?

Long-Review-1861 · 2024-08-03T16:21:23+00:00

I've been cheated on in 4 separate relationships, I'll never believe women are capable of loyalty again. I think society has lied to us about female nature, they definitely aren't the more nurturing sex

gronk4198 · 2024-08-03T07:44:32+00:00

You can love women or understand women. You can't do both

NorthBoy_9012 · 2024-08-02T23:21:40+00:00

Depending on your age, I’m 54 - it takes that power move, trapping you with kids, off the table. Take a deep look at yourself. Think. Strategize. If you know you don’t want more kids - the biggest responsibility you’ll ever have, get one. Then, when you meet a special woman, you’ll become step ahead - if things don’t work out - and I’m certainly hope they do - you won’t be battling over kids. After all, this is called “divorced men” and hopefully you’ve learned a little something being on here, which is what I’m attempting to pass on, given your circumstances. Peace.

pokeraladin1 · 2024-08-02T23:08:32+00:00

I'll never trust a woman ever again. 42 (M)

Acceptable_Photo6956 · 2024-08-02T22:43:09+00:00

your not the only one. the optimist in me says never say never and I might not feel this way forever but for now I don't care if I spend the rest of my life alone.

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2024-08-02T21:56:37+00:00

It was hard for me for the first 2 years after a 22 year marriage. Got crushed again with my rebound lol. Went from never having heartbreak to 2 in one year.

3 years on now and I have no problems being vulnerable with women. It's not so much that I trust them it's that I trust I'll be able to pick myself up if I get crushed again. Practice makes perfect and I know I'll be fine no matter what.

You will get to a point where you learn you cannot have love without pain. They always go together. And that pain is great for personal growth.

mr21vp · 2024-08-02T21:38:00+00:00

Rule #1 never share your feeling with a woman you are involved with. Also remember that women act on feelings and men act on thinking. Study and practice stoicism my friend.

Icerunner45 · 2024-08-02T21:02:43+00:00

I’m feeling this right now. My wife ran away with our 2 kids last Saturday. She legally can’t, but she did. We went from everything was great and I loved her more than I’ve loved anything to she screamed at me the couple times we’ve talked, she called my boss and got a no-contact order (mandatory NCO in the military), and has refused my access to my kids.

I’m on a roller coaster of emotions and she was always the one I went to when I was hurting. She was the one I thought I trusted the most. Now she’s secretly deleting Facebook posts that bragged about me as a dad and a husband, alleging false things about me at work, and trying to turn my kids against me. I don’t know how I could ever learn to trust another woman again. I know a divorce is coming and I still love her. I just love my kids so much and I know her actions are going to destroy their world.

Gillilnomics · 2024-08-02T20:02:03+00:00

Nope, I’m in the same boat friend.

One day she’s holding me telling me I deserve to be loved after a complete breakdown, then the next day I’m finding love letters to her AP.

It really sucks too, bc a lot of my close friends are women. I used to feel like I could share with them, but now I’m closed off and they’ve definitely noticed, but I don’t think they blame me.

AlexKidd79 · 2024-08-02T19:56:42+00:00

I'm not saying this is universally true. But as a man...

Sharing your emotions with a woman is like bleeding in front of a shark.

NorthBoy_9012 · 2024-08-02T19:45:48+00:00

Knowing up front what they want, will help you. You can share feelings - but make sure you’re strong enough to maintain control, and have a clear vision of what you want. Also, if you’re over 40, do yourself a favor, and take the 30 minutes, to get a vasectomy.

Bretweir_jerky · 2024-08-02T19:33:36+00:00

Ahhhh, no. No you are not the only one! But, knowing now helps me to protect myself. I value myself in a relationship. There is no nagging, no shit tests, no arguing no pleading, nothing. I value myself and I leave. No emotion

chase_the_wolf · 2024-08-02T19:33:20+00:00

No man hopes people view him as weaker (weaker financially, weaker mentally, weaker physically, ect.).

Revealing your feelings to a woman is the exact same risk/reward as marriage.

Basic_Advance7627 · 2024-08-02T19:12:26+00:00

After you’ve been betrayed by infidelity I don’t think you ever fully trust a woman again.

GaeasSon · 2024-08-02T18:38:11+00:00

Good! Don't trust "women". Hell, don't trust "men" either. Humans are a shitty lot. But, don't be so jaded that you won't let an individual EARN your trust, no matter who they are. Life is better with good people at your back.

BackInSeppoLand · 2024-08-02T18:30:58+00:00

I've been on the fence on this one. I've had a girlfriend for 3 years, on and off. She's generally very supportive, but even last week she asked me if I was holding back or in denial over my lack of a relationship with my kids. As if I'd hit them. Three years in and she was asking me this? She should know better. It felt like a huge betrayal.

So we're going long distance now, but I can never invest in a relationship what I have done before.

ooomn57 · 2024-08-02T17:50:52+00:00

I will never be able to trust women again, even if I try to do so.

f-ranke · 2024-08-02T17:03:25+00:00

Same here! I can totally relate!

MonarchistExtreme · 2024-08-02T16:36:04+00:00

the only woman I trust with my feelings is my mother and even that has conditions.

fishingforthought · 2024-08-02T16:23:45+00:00

Once bitten twice shy. You have seen their true colors. Never again.

ramad84 · 2024-08-02T15:52:00+00:00

dont ever trust them with your feelings. i was way too honest with my ex wife, i thought she was a partner till the end.

in addition to her becoming less attracted to me (for simply feeling those things, not even acting on the feelings) she also later weaponized those feelings against me, either making me feel bad about them or threatening me with the exact fears i told her i had.

MR-Ozmidnight · 2024-08-02T15:27:43+00:00

I don't think you are Robinson Crusoe here. I feel most men feel let down and find it hard to trust, which, in a way, is good, as that means they will likely take a longer time to consider new partners.

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2024-08-02T15:10:50+00:00

No I trust people until they give me a reason not to. It’s easy to move on to the next now with no marriage or kids involved.

Historical-Basis-196 · 2024-08-02T14:55:16+00:00

It definitely feels like that right now. On the other hand, 80% of divorcees get into another marriage within 5 years! Crazy statistic.

frogmicky · 2024-08-02T14:32:45+00:00

Yup and I'm more picky about women as well.

FinnyIzzy · 2024-08-02T14:32:06+00:00

Man value love. Women love value.

CulturedGentleman921 · 2024-08-02T14:28:57+00:00

There is/was a TikTok meme going around with women answering "What would you rather encounter alone in the woods? An unknown man or a bear?" Lots of women chose the bear.

A male response to this was to ask men "What would you rather share your feelings to: A woman, or a tree?" Almost all of the men chose "tree".

DudeforRighteousness · 2024-08-02T14:07:34+00:00

I don’t know if I will ever trust again. I’m not trying to throw the baby out with the bath water but spending time here will get you red pilled quickly on relationship dynamics and the differences between men and women. Women don’t love the same as men. To say otherwise is suspension of reality.

Title	Am I the only one that finds it hard to trust women with my feelings ever again?
Author	buckbolt93
Upvotes	67
Comments	56
Date	August 2, 2024 1:53 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1eiamnp/am_i_the_only_one_that_finds_it_hard_to_trust/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/am-i-the-only-one-that-finds-it-hard-to-trust.1526102 https://theredarchive.com/post/1526102

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