Women need to learn to be happy being used for sex

wtknight · 2024-09-17T15:14:10+00:00

Nobody should be happy being used for sex. Instead, women just need to learn to pick better and to vet men for longer before having sex with them.

GridReXX · 2024-09-17T03:40:38+00:00

Women who want more from the guy (like a relationship or tenderness and care) shouldn’t have sex with a guy unless he feels that way. Why? Because she’s inevitably going to feel a way that she didn’t get what she truly wanted from the situation.

If you’re going to have casual sex, only have sex with guys you don’t value for commitment! 😉

Nyanpireeee · 2024-09-17T04:40:47+00:00

Sex is usually a more emotional experience for women. This has been studied before.

Plus, I’d imagine that if you are a woman looking for a long term relationship, and a guy who seems trustworthy says he wants a long term relationship, but dips the second he gets in your pants, you’re gonna feel lied to, used, objectified and frustrated.

Also sex is portrayed differently for men and women. You’re told that men “get to have sex” and women “allow sex to happen.” The woman’s body is often perceived as a product that deteriorates in value when it’s used. Women don’t like feeling like products. Casual sex makes a lot of women feel like products.

Another aspect worth mentioning: Women risk more and gain less. Women are less likely to gasm. Have a higher risk of infection, injury, STDs. Are waaay more likely to get murdered!!! And they also can get pregnant. There’s plenty of cases where men also take condoms off mid sex without telling their partner.

Snekky3 · 2024-09-17T04:05:30+00:00

Because sex for women often sucks. If women can’t get what they want from a relationship they’re happier on their own.

rustlerhuskyjeans · 2024-09-17T05:57:37+00:00

If a girl keeps dating and keeps striking out on a relationship, it will destroy her ego. She’s still going to double down on it before she even thinks about an average guy though.

AnonPinkLady · 2024-09-17T07:18:22+00:00

I wanna address the term "used" in this particular post- because I think the meaning of it holds a lot of weight in this discussion. In an ideal situation when two people have sex- they both get what they want out of it and both of them are honest about what they want out of it. As in- two people just honestly say "hey let's have sex with no strings attached" and they do- or two people just honestly say "let's have sex and be a couple because we really like each other" and they do. In either scenario no one really got "used"- everyone was honest and upfront about their intentions. When men get "used" for sex- it's usually pretty earnest and straight forward- a woman says "hey I just wanna have sex" and they do. When women get used for sex it's often miscommunicated- they're lead on with flattery and compliments, promises of something more, they're played and discarded. It isn't hurtful to men because men aren't being told it means anything when it doesn't- there's no game, there's no subtext most of the time. I'm not a fan of being approached for something casual but at least I can credit those who do with their honesty. But many people can manipulate you emotionally or mislead you- which is where the term "use" comes into play. Which is why a lot of women are burned by the experience. Plus men are raised not to be as emotional and in touch with their feelings as women so they're probably just a lot less likely to feel any strong emotions about it.

DoinIt989 · 2024-09-17T04:37:04+00:00

There's no such thing as "using" someone for sex. Sex is supposed to be a mutually enjoyable experience. Casual doesn't mean bad.

SaBahRub · 2024-09-17T14:20:19+00:00

We will when men learn to be happy being used for money and attention. Equality!

Blonde_Icon · 2024-09-17T07:13:58+00:00

Some men are like that with every woman, though. It doesn't necessarily have to do with anything the woman did wrong or any shortcomings of hers. How would that be the woman's fault in that case (unless she knew it beforehand and thought she could change him or something)?

Werevulvi · 2024-09-17T17:04:37+00:00

I mean yeah... to a certain point you gotta be pretty dumb if you keep walking into the same trap over and over again, but is it really the woman's fault when it's the first time it happens? Because in order for there to be such a pattern happening, there had to have been a first time it happened, and you can't fault a beginner (at dating) for not knowing what to avoid.

Fyi, I can't say I've ever been duped by a guy without knowing what he was playing at. As I used to be into casual sex while also often single and looking for a relationship, I did meet quite a lot of guys who pretended to want a relationship with me, but I saw through their lies and either told them "just sex is fine" to which they were very clearly relieved by going on a tangent about how hard it was to find women willing to have casual sex, or I just rejected them for being unreliable/sketchy. If they lie about what they want, what else are they lying about? Yet I've also dated men who clearly wanted a committed relationship.

So it seems I've just always been able to tell if a guy just wants sex, or if he genuinely wants more than that. Usually it really only depends on if he seems genuinely interested in who I am as person, my hobbies, etc, or if he brushes over that and just keeps steering the topic back to sex. The latter are clearly only interested in sex even if they say otherwise. Men who nag about sex and want to know every last detail about my sexual interested, before there's even been a first date, are a huge red flag to me.

But thing is I still wouldn't have blamed myself if any of those men had managed to trick me. Because it really shouldn't be on the victim to be able to outsmart the predator. (And yes, it is predatory to lie your way into someone else's pants. The legal term is rape by deception.) That's morally messed up. Is it your fault if you don't manage to outsmart a scammer from clearing your bank account or getting access to your computer? Is it your fault if you don't manage outsmart a pickpocket thief? Is it your fault if a piece of clothing you bought, which was advertized as high quality, turns out to be some cheap polyester shit that'll fall apart after the first wash? Hint: no, it's not your fault. The responsibility is entirely on the attacker/initiator who tricked you.

And yeah, even if you did fall for the same scam several times over and I thought you were an idiot for it, I still wouldn't think it's your fault. The only person/people in that scenario who did anything actually wrong, is the scammer(s.) Likewise, women who end up victims of rape by deception, are not the ones doing anything wrong. Even if they are a bit stupid for falling for the same trap over and over again. Because being stupid is not a moral failing, but deliberately deceiving other people to get what you want, is. If anything, stupidity is a form of innocense, as it's lack of knowledge or awareness.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2024-09-17T09:57:32+00:00

In that case men need to learn to be happy to be used for money and free dinners.

Fair-Bus-4017 · 2024-09-17T05:31:32+00:00

Okay then men should learn to be happy being used for money 👍

abnabatchan · 2024-09-17T06:40:45+00:00

If men can be happy being used for sex, why can't women?

generally speaking, a lot of these men who are totally fine with being "used" are still getting what they want out of that kind of relationship, which is just sex and basically "getting off" but for women? ehh, what's there to be happy about if you feel used and you're not even enjoying any part of it? like not even physical satisfaction?

2024-09-17T08:32:57+00:00

There’s been multiple men in my life who wouldn’t stop blowing up my phone, asking me out to various venues, and/or straight up getting angry and emotional when I wouldn’t respond accordingly after sex and I was clearly moving on.

Again—for me this whole notion of men love being used for sex was never accurate.

Men are people and human beings sometimes don’t like being used. I personally think it’s misandrist to think otherwise.

I will also never stop thinking it’s bizarre and borderline sociopathic to fuck someone that you think is inherently disgusting like a bunch of dudes like to laugh about here on the regular. It’s fucking creepy.

Gillionaire25 · 2024-09-17T09:48:06+00:00

Instead of blaming others, they should either look for less attractive options or become happy with being used by these men if they can't bear lowering their standards.

You only presented these two options and skipped the obvious choice. Women should just not have sex if it doesn't benefit them. There is no need to have sex with unattractive men or to be used by attractive men, when both can be avoided.

Whoreasaurus_Rex · 2024-09-17T14:58:03+00:00

If men can be happy being used for sex, why can't women?

Because men have a 99% chance of orgasm during sex even with an ONS/random partner. Women, not so much.

OffTheRedSand · 2024-09-17T06:57:28+00:00

i mean as long as men are fine being used as free dates and food then go feral ya'll.

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Farathial · 2024-09-19T16:32:38+00:00

Id be so happy if I was worth being used for sex. To finally be touched by another. I can't imagine the confidence every woman has all the time.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-09-17T05:32:46+00:00

Blaming women for being manipulated and lied to (they're picking the wrong people or have the wrong nebulous "vibe"), what a classic. How you treat others is very much your own responsibility, not theirs. Men rarely complain about being used for sex because it's rare that they do get lied to just because another person wants only casual sex from them and doesn't otherwise care about them, instead looking down on them and thinking they're beneath them or have a "weird vibe".

2024-09-17T08:26:32+00:00

you say "women" but then speak about a very specific subgroup of women who can't get commitment from men because they continually make bad choices and shoot above their league. The overwhelming majority of women ARE IN RELATIONSHIPS and do not whine about getting used for sex. The overwhelming majority of women are not misandrist. You do not help to deescalate the online gender war, if you keep painting with such a coarse brush.

If men can be happy being used for sex, why can't women?

Because men tend to not go in NOT wanting sex. So they are not used for sex while wanting something else. Also, there are men who do not enjoy ONS/no strings attached sex.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2024-09-17T05:27:53+00:00

Gotta love how most women suggest men learn to enjoy being single but OP’s advice (and many other men) is for women to lower their standards or accept being used for sex. 🤣Do men really fear women enjoying the life of a single cat lady so much because it makes it more competitive for men to get sex or a relationship with less women in the dating market?😏Perhaps that’s why men are pushing for women to accept any old guy just to be in a relationship. Can’t have women escaping the plantation now can you!

eyewave · 2024-09-17T09:52:54+00:00

All relationships are transactional.

bluepvtstorm · 2024-09-17T17:07:26+00:00

When men are happy being used just for their money then they can ask women be happy being used for sex

apresonly · 2024-09-17T21:16:24+00:00

or what?

ExcelsiorState718 · 2024-09-17T05:03:21+00:00

Honestly what else are women for?..seriously

Title	Women need to learn to be happy being used for sex
Author	LordArtichode
Upvotes	0
Comments	172
Date	September 16, 2024 8:58 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1fifrj9/women_need_to_learn_to_be_happy_being_used_for_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-need-to-learn-to-be-happy-being-used-for-sex.1530443 https://theredarchive.com/post/1530443

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