CMV: love is a weapon of the patriarchy

KikiYuyu · 2024-12-26T04:29:18+00:00

Everyone should love their family a lot, as long as they aren't shitty or abusive. What are you on about OP? No one should have to give everything, but devoting time and effort to loved ones is good. No human lives without being cared for, we aren't born independent.

Also you're wording this like the man implants love into the woman's brain, like she doesn't naturally have that love in herself, by herself.

ControversialDebator · 2024-12-26T04:44:33+00:00

This ridiculous idea that literally everything is part of a Patriarchal conspiracy needs to end. Do women love their Husbands because the patriarchy has brainwashed them in order to enslave them to men? Of course not. To say that Love itself is a tool of the Patriarchy is to think that literally anything is part of the Patriarchy. Ranging from Nail Clippers to Religion to Spaceships.

HereToShowOff123 · 2024-12-26T04:31:00+00:00

Love is really just a tool used by the matriarchy to keep men subjugated.

Men have been taught from a young age that they need to love their wife and their children. That love should be the sole driving force behind men sacrificing their time, effort, and labor providing for their wives and families. They should not expect nor receive compensation for all this.

Women on the other hand are let off the hook because they're emotional creatures who don't need a sexual connection to enjoy relationships. All they have to do is be stay at home mothers and spend their husband's money and their job is done.

Imaginary_BeachTea · 2024-12-26T04:34:58+00:00

Men on the other hand are let off the hook because they're visual creatures

So are women. Men are far more forgiving and far less discriminatory towards women on a physical basis than vice versa.

who don't need an emotional connection to enjoy sex

Neither do women. Enjoying sex with an attractive man that in any just universe never would have looked at her twice requires no emotional connection.

I think she makes a great point - this notion that you should devote yourself to your husband and children because you love them is a patriarchal conspiracy to extract free labour from women.

If it’s a conspiracy, it is a very poorly constructed and executed conspiracy as it can be chopped at the knees by the woman leaving or divorcing the man for any reason or absolutely no reason at all.

Maffioze · 2024-12-26T08:00:31+00:00

Saying "just have to provide and their job is done" in a world with increasing wealth inequality that has just experienced years of high inflation is crazy.

Dry_Grab_3874 · 2024-12-26T13:26:04+00:00

I remember saying once how going through red pill forums was like watching aliens argue over nothing. Then someone told me "have you gone on feminist tiktok?"

Maybe it's the matrix around me but I have to ask, where did our sanity go? Was it covid? It has to be covid.

Love is a naturally occuring chemical that makes people want to be close together. It wasn't created or manufactured to oppress people. That's like saying endorphins are an artefact of fatphobia. Raising a child isn't "free labour", it's just parenting, and the man does it too. Saying that it's free labour implies that you want a nanny taking care of your infant round the clock. Which isn't good for the kid, as they'll grow up without secure attachment to their parents.

If the progressive belief is that raising a loving family is patriarchal subjucation, I guess I'm more conservative than I thought lol

Tren_troll · 2024-12-26T04:46:30+00:00

As per usual, you gotta dig a little deeper when people come up with these bizarre takes to figure out what's really going on. Turns out that she likes various types of Chads and bad boys with issues. Chads predictably don't like doing household chores.

A story as old as time.

Also pretty sure she's yet another lesbian in denial.

KayRay1994 · 2024-12-26T05:00:20+00:00

There is some validity behind this - ie. that women are indeed taught that a husband and kids are the most important things in the world, and from a young age being a supportive figure is, to some extent, internalized

BUT - love, as a larger concept, and I’m talking love in the grander sense, not just romantic - is inportant for everyone. I don’t like this hyper-individualistic me first brand of feminism some people sell, but I also recognize that it’s extremely reactionary to the hyper-individualized image of masculinity sold prior, that it’s the man’s life and everything revolves around it.

I think a sense of community, love for those around you and seeking out a sense of connection with others is extremely important for everyone. You’re as much an individual as you are a part of a community, I think we all need to remember that.

WanabeInflatable · 2024-12-26T05:07:43+00:00

Women are obviously more visual creatures according to the stats of dating services - women are much more picky regarding looks of men.

Patriarchy doesn't exist outside 3rd world countries. If you insist patriarchy is real, please give a falsifiable criteria. I.e something that can be measured that would indicate men in general have power because of their gender. Typically people that cry patriarchy, can't give definitions and criteria.

Patriarchy is a myth used to motivate discrimination of men

kexray · 2024-12-26T05:29:06+00:00

This is the kinda bullshit that flipped me red. There are so many perspectives spanning so many cultures throughout time on love. To claim that all these women are brainwashed and to blame men for doing it is extremely antagonizing and extremely out of touch. They wonder why men voted red this election cycle; it’s because blue wants them to die. Just being a man is enough to be hated by the majority of women now.

At this point it feels like feminism has just turned into finding fun new ways to blame and dehumanize men. It’s like a science for why men are always the problem. It’s become a downright cruel world for men in “progressive” spaces, and this is the kind of out of touch take that makes it feel like society has collapsed.

Drink water, go outside, delete tiktok.

just_a_place · 2024-12-26T07:28:19+00:00

If you seriously think that Love is something that is taught then you are clueless and easily misled.

"Women should find happiness because love. They should not expect nor receive compensation for all of this."

You mean like Men? 🤨

"Men on the other hand are let off the hook because they're visual creatures who don't need an emotional connection to enjoy sex."

Love and Sex are not the same thing. You should have figured this out as a teenager.

to extract free labour from women.

As opposed to paid labor; such as a maid, an employee, or a hooker? You are only reinforcing the Red Pill in that all relationships are transactional and that the measure of a woman's love can be weighed in tangible currency. That there is always a price tag to women's affections, to be bought or bartered.

What do I think? I think you are confirming what Red Pilled men already know. I also think women are in serious trouble with this mercantile attitude, and they are only shooting themselves in the foot by dehumanizing themselves and paving the way for literally perfect women that are going to inevitably replace them. And that si going to be Game Over for everyone.

wtknight · 2024-12-26T08:34:45+00:00

That's not what love is. Most of love involves friendship and attachment, with a portion of it being erotic desire. A man who loves a woman and his children will sacrifice just as much for them. This is what a man working hard labor away from home ideally is - him supporting his family.

I understand that women are upset because they are being asked to take care of domestic duties while either desiring to work outside the home or being forced to due to how our modern economy works, but that doesn't have anything to do with love. There's no reason that a man working outside the home and a woman working inside the home doing equal duties can't be in love, and there's no reason why a couple who both work outside and inside the home equally can't be in love.

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2024-12-26T09:29:01+00:00

Women are taught to imitate love from the young age in order to manipulate men and leech fruits of their labor easily. While it's not all women and some are definitely capable of love, most just fake it to get what they want from men.

Men from very young age are instilled with idea to desire romantic love and that selflesness, hard work and moral virtues will guarantee them such love from a woman. This trick has been used by society to bait men into working their asses off and keeping the whole thing running.

ThorLives · 2024-12-26T05:20:49+00:00

Sometimes I look at some marriages, and think that men are being used in marriage - working full time jobs and endless "honey do" lists. And those men are also not appreciated. Sometimes it seems like women are critical as a tactic to squeeze more work out of men. Essentially to keep them on a treadmill of continuous tasks and complaints, or else he's the "bad guy". Not long ago, there was a thread on Reddit where a bunch of older men were talking about never saying "no" to their wives, because it was just easier to go along with what she wants than to fight it. Those relationships don't sound like "patriarchies" to me.

Also, it's unfortunate that people don't fully appreciate each other in long term relationships, but I also think that when people have been in a relationship for a long time, it's easy to take them for granted and also be annoyed by little things they do, which can also undermine appreciation.

I once heard a quote years ago that was referencing the idea that women are men's slaves in marriages. They said that, on some level, both men and women are each other's slaves. They are both expected to defer to their partners and children and do various kinds of work for them.

Overall, I think feminists overthink a lot of things. For example, I once heard a feminist complain about women wearing wedding rings - that a wedding ring implies that she is "owned" by a man. I couldn't help but think "don't men wear wedding rings too? I guess that means that guys are "owned" by their wife, right? Why is she trying so hard to make this one sided?"

There's a phenomena I heard of called "medical students disease" or "medical students syndrome". Medical students, hearing about various diseases, start to imagine that maybe they have this or that disease, like a hypochondriac. I feel like the same is true for a lot of feminist ideas. They hear about the concept of gaslighting, and suddenly they project it into men and see it everywhere. Or they learn about narcissism, and then they project that onto people in their life. I think a lot of stuff about "patriarchy" is also stuff they project onto the world. They might even think that their epiphany that "it's everywhere, and I suddenly see it" indicates that it's true, but it's really like having "medical students disease" or being a hypochondriac.

SnoopyDru · 2024-12-26T06:36:19+00:00

Why would I receive “compensation” for caring for the people that choose to be with in a relationship or that I birthed by choice? Men are not done by having a job. You choose what you tolerate. My partner does half of the parenting and he actively participates in our relationship. Choose better and stop pretending that your life choices are oppression. No one is making women get married, have kids, or have sex. No, you don’t deserve some type of payment for being accountable for your actions. You choose those responsibilities.

Bloody_Mandrake · 2024-12-26T05:01:29+00:00

It's just another woman complaining that she doesn't get retributed what she thinks is worth being a "normally" good human being to your own fucking family.

Like, I understand feminism. I can understand where these women come from, even when I do not agree to it. I really do.

I do think women would be relatively safer if men as a whole behaved better. I think men owe women that, security you know. It's a debt we have.

But for radical feminism to convince modern women that they are OWED some sort of "payment" to cook for their husbands or take care of their own children, and if not then they are being "opressed"...

Like... Dude... Modern women must be some really self centered, entitled and hipocritical brats I mean.

Imagine the audacity of living alongside men for the past... What? 15.000 years? In the houses men built lets be fair, because no woman has ever build a house with her hands EVER, all the while thinking their lives sucked because their husbands didn't pay them money to feed their children?

Wow man... Just... Wow...

Us men have been decieved big time about the true nature of women, when we thought they were kind, empathetic and generous.

Imagine a dude who asks his wife to pay him the rent for living in the house he bought.

That's how ridiculous modern women sound.

I can't phatom living under the same roof with a person like that.

Gravel_Roads · 2024-12-26T08:10:49+00:00

People don't love because they're taught to.

People love because we get attached to certain people/things, and care about their happiness/well-being.

It's true that people can be manipulated into loving unhealthy things, that go against their own common interest.

But that's not a problem with love, that's a problem with what you're manipulating people to think they're supposed to love.

C'mon, OP, wtf, surely you've had a pet or a friend that you loved before.

InitialPaths989 · 2024-12-26T11:58:20+00:00

You can’t marry a woman that doesn’t love you.

badgersonice · 2024-12-26T12:45:06+00:00

I would argue instead that you have bought into the toxic capitalist/patriarchal notion that money is the most important thing of all in life, which is just a huge mistake. The notion that money is all-important, and that every little kindness should be paid in cash serves men in patriarchal societies— a man who is a financial provider is valued and respected vastly more than his lowly servant wife, and his wife has no way to balance the books and pay him back for his money, because in that system, the one with all the money gets to decide how cheap love is on exchange.

In contrast, rejecting the capitalist worship of money is more freeing. Yes, you have to have money to survive in a capitalist world, and that’s all fine— go out and make money and give yourself food and shelter, etc. But don’t let your obsession with gold and getting paid overshadow what is actually important: people and love and relationships and care. The idiots who buy into the notion that money is everything are the ones with a lifetime of regrets on their death beds.

Love isn’t a conspiracy to extract “free” labor from women, lol. It’s the actual way humans form communities and bonds, and it’s far more rewarding mentally and emotionally than investing in $$$. A women isnt paid raw cash for caring for her loved ones… she is repaid in mutual love and respect from the loving people she cares for, with a community of people who support her in return. If she is smart, she married a man who truly loves her in return, and they both support one another to the best of their abilities. She can likewise simply withdraw her love and support from people who do not care enough for her in return.

Men and women are literally killing themsleves out of loneliness— it’s not a joke that these human connections are critical to health. And yet you downplay it as though love is just a trick?

I think maybe you need to reassess your priorities in life. What is more important to you in the long run… the mutual love and support of friends and family? Or a cold bank account that could be wiped out with one insurance claim denial?

abaxeron · 2024-12-26T13:59:59+00:00

males

women

Not engaging, but love that old joke as well. "Mom, what's love?" - "Dear daughter, it's an excuse not to pay made up by [a whatever out-group is being situationally mocked]."

EssentialPurity · 2024-12-26T15:57:44+00:00

Reminds me of rightwingers saying that empathy and compassion are being weaponized by progressives to make people side with minorities rather than with polite society. I remember the term "bleeding heart" was thrown around as an insult often back in 2016-2017 or so.

EssentialPurity · 2024-12-26T16:22:07+00:00

This kind of conspiracy theory is the funniest one. It's the kind that paints a group as an hypercompetent social engineering force that holds the hearts and minds of Humanity on a vicegrip, but when you look at them, they are just normal people with no less struggles in life than the rest of us, if not more disenfranchised than the average.

It's the same as Germans back in the day. They would say Jews were Untermensch who just connived their way into spiritual hegemony over the globe, at the same time they would say Germans are superior master race... Which logically raises the question of how supposedly superior people got oppressed by supposedly inferior people. It doesn't add up.

And I bring this up because I legit have seen a feminist on VK saying "I can't believe we are oppressed by the kind of person who don't wipe their arses, and then leave skidmarks on their underwear!". This type of discourse does more to prove the "victims" to be such bumbling fools they are easily mogged by intellectual bottom feeders, than proving that we are being controlled by any social group other than Capitalists.

Conscious-Sea9499 · 2024-12-26T18:58:07+00:00

Few things here. First, women are also visual creatures. It's just that so many men put so little effort into their looks that a lot of men can't visually stimulate a woman. Second, a lot of men absolutely need emotional connection to get off. It's a psychological fact that pair bonding results in a significant increase in the amount of happy chemicals the body releases during sex, and, well, every other activity. Third, it sounds like you're giving a lot of credit to women, while being very negative towards men here. You say women should sacrifice their time for love, but men sacrificing their time in a job for a family somehow isn't the same thing. Also, men always have the fear that they're fetishized and only loved for what they provide, while women have the fear that they're only loved for their looks. It works both ways. It just sounds like you spend too much time in the feminism-sphere rather than reality, so you get a very negative view of men. I'm not saying this subreddit is a whole lot more neutral(It's still a lot more red pill favored), but it's just fact that the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

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Disastrous-Lynx-3247 · 2024-12-26T04:27:53+00:00

It depends . Does she mean love is a social construct or it's actually biological but over represented in the media as a facet of the patriarchy ?

Realistic_Guava9117 · 2024-12-26T04:55:44+00:00

Might as well just say most “love” based relationships are overrated (they 100% are). It’s more realistic to believe a person should like more than one person in their lifetime. Everything that comes with the definition of “love” is basically just over exaggerating that you like someone.

100thNewAccount · 2024-12-26T06:10:09+00:00

I mean if you are an indeoendent thinker.

Which I think is the goal of feminism, I might be wrong.

You can decide for yourself.

You can decide for yourself if you want to love somebody for the rest of his/her life, or be against monogamy, or not love your children, or not even have empathy if you want to.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2024-12-26T06:51:29+00:00

The compensation part doesn't make sense as framed. Women WERE compensated. They were part of a family unit that pooled labor and resources. They entered this situation relatively voluntarily, depending on the period we are talking about. There was no 'free labor'. The men were doing things, too.

Now, perhaps the terms of the arrangement are no longer agreeable. Perhaps women want to do more of this and less of that, and thus he should be doing more of that and less of this. OK. And maybe cultural definitions of love were used to encourage these gendered divisions. But that does not mean the women were being used as slave labor.

More deeply, societies exist in a state of constant Darwinian competition. Gender roles weren't just created by an evil council of world patriarchs, who then weaponized love to support their tyrannical plans. If anything, the 'weaponization of love' would have been primarily after-the-fact to help support gender roles that Darwinian competition made necessary. Of course, technology and conditions change. What was once necessary may no longer be so.

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2024-12-26T09:55:24+00:00

I am not sure if it was a conscious patriarcal device everywhere but it sure is dangerous. Nowadays, the definition of love and what it should be is destroyed by old ideas and medias

I trully want an educational system that teach young people about real relationship. Because love trully exist but not in the form people think

Any-Remove-4032 · 2024-12-26T16:26:23+00:00

I think people say the darnest things 😅 It's Tik Tok. I'm sure there's someone out there who will argue that love is the greatest weapon AGAINST the patriarchy.

Both takes have their base and both sides would argue until the very end.

I know my wife love me. Whether it's biological or instilled, all I can do is communicate, be patient, and never take her for granted.

Cause at the end of the day, even if she cant help it, I can still choose not to take advantage of it. I can still choose to be a supportive partner who won't uphold patriarchy advantages. I clean. I encourage our kid to be emotionally intelligent. House roles are divided based on who enjoys what and who is best at what. We are there for each other and promise to work together for a future we are all happy and proud of.

So do I agree with the tik tok? Sure, if they say so.

BigMadLad · 2024-12-26T22:23:17+00:00

It’s post like this that make me realize people who speak on relationships often times have never been in a loving relationship, and so should stay out. If you ever actually loved somebody, it doesn’t matter about compensation, fairness, or some job posting that you made up about your relationship. it’s about you caring so much for that person you would do anything, even if it’s unfair. You can’t tell me that love does not exist because humans love animals, stuffed animals, and a host of things that can’t pay them back. It loves them just the same. Plus, this is not even a gendered thing because homosexuality exists and many are in loving relationships. This is just an alien talking about a relationship.

Secondly, men are not off the hook. I have never once heard a story of some guy getting off the hook because he’s left his wife for a hotter woman. Rightfully so he gets lambasted by everybody. Where is this notion that men can get away with this?

ImDivorcin · 2024-12-27T23:48:36+00:00

I agree. I also think love is used against men to get us to sacrifice on behalf of women and children, basically this should be the last generation. Individualism is all that matters. Sure, there will be no children to carry on our legacy but is it not better that at least one group of humans truly get to live life to the fullest and then extinguish ourselves like a beautiful dancing flame?

For one sweet moment in the history of the universe we can make it so everyone is just a perfectly self contained atomized individual living for themselves, no energy wasted on spouses or kids. That’s worth sacrificing our species for imo.

Title	CMV: love is a weapon of the patriarchy
Author	Windmill_flowers
Upvotes	0
Comments	123
Date	December 26, 2024 4:19 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1hmgnfp/cmv_love_is_a_weapon_of_the_patriarchy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-love-is-a-weapon-of-the-patriarchy.1539532 https://theredarchive.com/post/1539532

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