Why ex-wives act "fine" after a divorce

CorporalCabbage · 2025-01-16T00:31:13+00:00

Love Rachael Sloane. I bought her course.

willowtrees_r_us · 2025-01-10T06:29:09+00:00

They wear make up.... It's fake

Acherna · 2025-01-09T22:30:44+00:00

Thanks for sharing this

Orlando1701 · 2025-01-09T16:07:00+00:00

Meanwhile my ex wife has spent the last four years doing everything she can to make my life difficult because she didn’t get alimony on account of I paid for her college degree.

First-Sail8421 · 2025-01-09T12:43:44+00:00

I suspect they also don’t want to be seen as having recognized that they made a mistake in leaving (that is where there was no AAA in the marriage - abuse, addiction, or adultery). So they pretend. But I also read somewhere that the party that wants to get out, regardless of reason, has an easier time, and that makes common sense to me. Hence ‘divorce parties’ etc. When my wife told me about going to her best friend, divorce-whisperer’s ‘divorce party,’ I was surprised - who celebrates a broken family, esp with young children involved? But that is the mindset of these people, and our legal system encourages it. And for those who are interested, check out the stats on divorce rates when a spouse has a close friend who recently divorced - I think it nearly doubles.

WhirlwindNomad · 2025-01-09T08:08:29+00:00

They act fine because they have a personality disorder. A lot of women do. They seem fine because they were never themselves during the marriage. It was all an act.

During and after divorce, they need to manage their image, have a fragile sense of self, can't face vulnerability, use resentment as a way to process loss instead (like a child).

You never knew the real them, because they don't know themselves and are deeply unhappy with themselves but can't look inwards becase they never learned how to do so.

I disagree with the whole "false mask" thing mentioned in the video, it's bullshit. The real mask is what you see at home early in the marriage, or during the dating phase. The mask mentioned in the video is their real self.

Kind people don't pretend to be evil, but evil people sure pretend to be kind to get what whey want and navigate the world.

The only thing you can do is focus on yourself and rebuild your self-worth and self-esteem. Accept that there are a lot of people like this in the world and protect yourself moving forward.

northdakotact · 2025-01-08T23:58:25+00:00

They're happy cause they have gotten a huge payday.

dnbndnb · 2025-01-08T23:24:00+00:00

I watched that video a long time ago. Just rewatched it. It can be summed up as:

1) if SHE is not “happy”, you must be the problem. 2) SHE can never be the problem so she’ll justify her actions to MAKE you the problem in her mind. 3) women have serious issues with accountability for their actions, and little to no introspection skills. 4) nothing is ever their fault.

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2025-01-08T22:59:19+00:00

Who cares?

Worrying about your ex is like worrying about a rental car after you return it. I've got a life of my own to focus on now, and happily the ex is not any part of it.

binglybinglybeep99 · 2025-01-08T22:31:07+00:00

I'd rather focus on why I am fine after it.

I'm not sure this is the right place for this content?

Itchy_Importance6861 · 2025-01-08T21:53:48+00:00

What's it to you if she's happy or not?

Mind your own business. Obviously you're the unhappy one.

Reflog1791 · 2025-01-08T20:56:00+00:00

Don’t let standard ex wife live rent free in your head. You have the power to change your thoughts. Understanding why standard ex wives act the way they do is like understanding why a hamster runs on a wheel. Sure there is some neurological reason but when you’ve discovered it your station in life is not improved.

Learn to control your thoughts and flick away any thoughts that do not serve your new dreams and goals like a fly on your shoulder.

Don’t take your ex wife’s thoughts or feelings on the matter personally. They are a human being with their own free will. They left because they wanted to full stop.

You can gain wisdom by understanding your own thoughts, behaviors, habits, and decisions that got you into this mess. It is easy to blame ex wife for ‘ruining your life’ but it is incorrect. You willingly gave up your freedom and finances for some reason that the final analysis has proven was a big mistake. Learning from your own mistakes is the way forward.

My favorite breakthrough is telling any romantic interest I play golf every Saturday morning no exceptions. I’m the happiest guy on earth. My time on this earth is precious and I will not give it away for temporary peace nor play with a woman.

qmriis · 2025-01-08T20:44:36+00:00

Why the fuck would I care

Pretend_Pepper3522 · 2025-01-08T20:44:00+00:00

Very helpful, thank you.

Too_old_3456 · 2025-01-08T20:37:28+00:00

Mine still gives me shit for leaving, along with the in-laws, but I know they are all thrilled. In laws can who never liked me can be the heroes and tend to their heartbroken daughter meanwhile she wanted out for the last 10 years. She always said she’d never be the one to file. Well of course not. She had her cake and ate it too. I paid for everything while she went out and fucked around. And now I’m dead to them. Oh well….

Miserable_Ad_1172 · 2025-01-08T19:57:54+00:00

Mine told me she has never had a wobble in the 2.5 years we have been seperated/divorced.

That really fucking hurt me :( We were together 12 years,married for 7 of those,have two children 2 and 5. It’s like I wasn’t even valued. I could have never done that to her.

rsmiley77 · 2025-01-08T19:28:52+00:00

Just a reminder if you can find a therapist to talk to if not just once every other month. It will help.

Also while she does a great job of talking about how are exes came to act out it doesn’t mean we have to excuse them for it.

NewDay0110 · 2025-01-08T19:18:24+00:00

TL;DR It's cuz she delulu

necromensa · 2025-01-08T18:38:17+00:00

Great video. Her sudden and absolute pivot from loving partner to aloof stranger has been far and away the most hurtful and confusing part of the break up. I have at felt like I was going insane. She seems to have completely fallen out of love in the span of an afternoon. She has sailed through the divorce process and is picking up speed as we wrap it up in a month or so. 10 years together gone in less than 3 months. It’s been a wild ride but I can begin to see healing from here. I now know that I will not be on constant pain forever and that realization alone is a marked improvement over the hell I was in at the beginning.

darealyst · 2025-01-08T18:06:51+00:00

For me the mask was who she was during the marriage. I have the real person now.

WishboneStar · 2025-01-08T17:57:54+00:00

Great vid 👍🏿 appreciate the share

bind91324 · 2025-01-08T17:35:08+00:00

Watched the video the insights were spot on.

Title	Why ex-wives act "fine" after a divorce
Author	THX1138-22
Upvotes	59
Comments	86
Date	January 8, 2025 5:14 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1hwpc8f/why_exwives_act_fine_after_a_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/why-ex-wives-act-fine-after-a-divorce.1540666 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540666

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