Women dismiss men's relationship stress, yet believe similar complaints from lesbian/bi women.

Inevitable_Bath1242 · 2025-01-19T23:44:38+00:00

Bi women will expect men to check all her standards. Then she will turn around and date a woman who has none of them and is considered a LOSER to the same standards she puts on men.

Men are not valued for who they are. Only what is taken from him.

abrazenbeauty · 2025-01-20T00:50:18+00:00

Part of the current discourse between men and women is deeply flawed because women often fail to step back and examine their own role in situations, even when their male friends/family are telling them. When men open up emotionally or share frustrations, they’re often met with dismissal instead of validation. Instead of holding space to truly listen and understand, many women filter men’s experiences through their own trauma, biases, and past hurts. They can’t conceive of a situation where a man might actually be the victim or where his feelings and frustrations deserve attention. This is highly problematic, and I frequently call it out in spaces where genuine conversations can happen (sadly, I can't say that's PPD). Women need to hold themselves and each other accountable when they are in the wrong, and they need to stop leaning on victimhood to avoid that accountability. This can absolutely be done without hating women or perpetuating misogyny.

But in this sub, I find that the men here are incapable of separating valid critiques of women from their hatred of them. Any point that could hold merit gets drowned out by the bitterness and misogyny woven into their arguments.

I was just thinking this earlier when refuting a sloppy, terrible argument, but I actually might seriously consider doing it. That is switching sides to help the men in this sub land some logic points. I'm not trying to be mean, but I see some of the most poorly constructed arguments in this sub that might actually hold some water if the guy could release himself from the shackles of hate for women that he holds so dearly. Men here largely seem to have a really hard time logically defending themselves. It's pretty bad, and this sub is infamous for putting it on full display.

OP, you have an extremely valid point here but your reach to leverage lesbian couples to prove your point actually invalidates your argument in my opinion. It screams, "I didn't have the chops to defend men standing on my own merit, so here! Let me prop up these lesbians to prove that women are inherently the problem."

Men here seem to struggle with logically defending themselves—it’s almost painful to watch.

Parrotsandarmadillos · 2025-01-20T00:22:09+00:00

I don’t mean this to put women down at all, but unless a woman has dated other women or is otherwise extremely self aware, women just aren’t gonna understand male dating problems.

DaddyStone13 · 2025-01-19T22:29:18+00:00

women are wonderful effect

TheAvocadoSlayer · 2025-01-19T19:06:34+00:00

Why do you think this is? I have experienced the same from men. If I bring up any issue I have with my husband, the default is for them to immediately side with him, and assume the worst from me.

Overarching_Chaos · 2025-01-19T21:19:34+00:00

In terms of physical abuse, couples ranked highest to lowest go as follows:

Lesbian couples
Hetero couples
Gay couples

To me it seems like men aren't the common denominator when it comes to conflict in relationships, just saying 😂.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-01-19T19:24:57+00:00

Because we identify and sympathize with those more like us, not less, obviously

If men do it, we can do it

“She probably didn’t communicate”

“She must have provoked him”

“He wasn’t convicted”

“They’re just accusations, there’s no proof”

“Women hate responsibility”

“Women lie and exaggerate to make themselves look good”

“Women love being the victim”

“She just wants attention/sympathy”

“We’re only getting half the story”

“You can never make a woman happy, they always want more”

“Women are spoiled”

“Women overreact to everything”

“Women are too picky”

“Women don’t know what they want”

“You guys are too sensitive”

“She was going to take his kids”

Etc

toasterchild · 2025-01-19T23:35:16+00:00

Dating is hard because emotions get involved, everyone's who has ever dated likely has some valid complains about their partners. Where are people saying all complaints from men are for no reason though?

If someone is asking if you did something wrong are they assuming you did or asking to get more of a complete story? Those are two totally separate things.

Its-Over-Buddy-Boyo · 2025-01-20T07:18:59+00:00

So true

Fair-Bus-4017 · 2025-01-19T19:44:10+00:00

Your friends sound awful. I have never witnessed this within my friend group and people where I am close enough with to hear these things. Except if the person venting is at fault, and people know that.

alwaysright0 · 2025-01-19T19:22:10+00:00

Do you think gay men and straight men are the same?

Do they have the same relationship dynamics?

rosephase · 2025-01-19T19:07:06+00:00

Your friends sucking isn’t about ‘women’. You choose shitty friends if they blame for any issues in a relationship. Do your friends even like you if they assume the worst about you in the face of your relationships ending?

griz3lda · 2025-01-19T20:40:34+00:00

The lesbian community has an extremely high rate of CPTSD and associated personality disorders namely borderline personality disorder. The chance of a straight guy randomly pairing with such a person is vanishingly small compared to the chance for a lesbian unless you are subconsciously selecting for it. You will make a statistical mistake if you imagine lesbian relationships as what happens when you pair up straight women. It is an entirely different population, the fact that both groups are women does not make them similar socio-emotionally, two different sets of customs, social conditioning in response to gender presentation, adverse childhood experience frequency.

No-Rough-7390 · 2025-01-19T19:47:26+00:00

Two things:

men’s relationship stress is mostly self-inflicted. As in, taking her too seriously, not enforcing boundaries, lack of dread.
save your ranting for the bros.

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Schleudergang1400 · 2025-01-20T09:05:22+00:00

you failed to show how women believe similar complaints from lesbian/bi women.

noafrochamplusamurai · 2025-01-19T19:57:38+00:00

Women are socialized within, and also partake in patriarchy. We( all humans) shape patriarchal systems, and they shape us. One of the downsides men face in patriarchy is the necessity for us to always be assumed the aggressor, and ruled by primal instincts. Thus, women are called the "fairer sex". This is done to place a burden of protection for women on men. To serve the overall system in place. As such, the overall default setting is " he did something to deserve that". That infantilizes women, and takes away their agency. There's no one checking them on their bad behavior, because the system rewards them for that behavior.

It's also why patriarchal systems dislike non standard sexual expression. It shows how bizarre the system is when the congruent ends don't line up. You ever notice how mainstream media generally portrays gay men as highly effeminate? Or masc lesbians as unattractive women? Bisexuality as a phase in women, or zero visibility for bi men? The veil falls off when you get to examine it from the other's sides.

TongueTiedPDX · 2025-01-19T19:15:38+00:00

It’s also possible that these women don’t trust your personal perspective on events.

If they’ve observed you be on the “wrong” side of conflicts in the past, they may not think you have great judgement.

LillthOfBabylon · 2025-01-19T20:16:22+00:00

All of this is what men do gender flipped.

People generally relate to their own gender better.

For example: Women will break up for anything, but many women experience men just not listening or not taking our complaints seriously.

Example 2: Communicating directly is also not black and white. Men also dont communicate directly. Furthermore, some things shouldnt have to communicated like NOT showing up to a date 20 minutes, being mindful of a person’s feelings when you last minute cancel on three times in a row, not saying sexual things to someone who has shown no indication that wanted to get sexual yet.

Title	Women dismiss men's relationship stress, yet believe similar complaints from lesbian/bi women.
Author	crimsonlightbringer
Upvotes	97
Comments	151
Date	January 19, 2025 6:59 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1i55yji/women_dismiss_mens_relationship_stress_yet/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-dismiss-mens-relationship-stress-yet-believe.1541607 https://theredarchive.com/post/1541607

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