Ex showed up with her new boyfriend to drop off our son

HawkeyeJosh2 · 2025-03-28T16:52:30+00:00

Clearly that ex is insecure as all hell. Take solace in that.

AzrykAzure · 2025-03-28T13:15:51+00:00

Just wanted to say I like your Honda fit more than the muscle car.

ExaminationKlutzy194 · 2025-03-26T12:00:37+00:00

Men age like Sean Connery.

Women also age like Sean Connery.

Someone will want to poke her box until they won’t.

So get to work on being the best version of you, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

idfkmanijustworkhere · 2025-03-25T11:54:04+00:00

Kind of the same thing going on here, except he has no muscle car, just a Hyundai. He's taller, younger, more fit etc.. but, dumb as a bag of rocks. She used to always tell me she loved me for my intelligence etc.. And now she's pregnant, while we're still going through court proceedings. She didn't want any more kids, and I was the one who got fixed. (Which is fine, I didn't want any more either)

But things have turned around, I have a lot of friends that care about me, and absolutely hate her. She's living with her parents, and I'm in a big house. She's working as a waitress and I make a significant amount more than when we were together. I kept living my life, and working on bettering my situation. I'll be completing my 3rd degree soon, and getting more certifications. I'm taking advantage of not having a family right now and just using my time to make my situation as ideal to the court as possible. Sure it sucks not seeing my son but once every 2 weeks for a few hours, but in the mean time while I wait for court, I take care of me and what I need to do.

We're still going through court for custody, but I've done nothing but sit back and let her make her mistakes, let her be in contempt of court, just kept records, sent them to my lawyer. Sat back and watched her and just formulated a plan to get my son back. When we finally get to the trial she's going to get nuked.

Hang in there, use your free time wisely, and never forget the end goal. I may live in spite of her and what she did to me, but I no longer really care about her or anything she does outside of our child. He is my focus.

Nyoobwsb · 2025-03-24T22:50:12+00:00

Don't just "let it go". Use it as your motivation or challenge. Get in shape, set a career goal, etc then you will have her begging to come back

JustlyDeluded · 2025-03-24T12:29:26+00:00

You got flexed on

BENJIDOVER79 · 2025-03-24T01:23:00+00:00

Bro, first off—good on you for staying cool and not taking the bait. That muscle car rev? Pure insecurity flex. Guys who are truly confident around another man’s kid don’t need to peel out like they’re in Fast & Furious: Divorce Court Edition.

Let me hit you with some truth—you being the good guy isn’t the reason she’s with him now. It’s just how it plays out—girls like her always chase the new excitement, the “Chad with the V8,” but trust me… that thrill ride crashes hard every time.

Doesn’t matter if they get "serious," if she posts lovey-dovey pics, hell—even if she gets knocked up—guys like that don’t stick around once the honeymoon phase wears off. And women like her? They always cycle back into chaos. You escaped the mess, brother.

Now here’s your real mission: Forget the car. Forget the juicehead. Start working on you. That flabby stomach? Easy fix. You know what that gym grind gives you? Confidence she can’t manipulate and no new guy can shake.

Your kid’s gonna remember who was steady, not who had the loudest car. Get your ass in shape, tighten your money, and put yourself back on the market. You’ll be shocked how different the dating world looks when you know your value.

And one day—while Musclehead’s ghosting her, or she’s back on Tinder swiping for her next meal ticket—you’ll be glad you stayed focused on your son and yourself.

Keep your head up, man. You’re already winning—you just don’t see it yet.

—Benji

ExponentialIncrease · 2025-03-23T23:10:29+00:00

I’ve only read the first post, but anyone who feels the need to tell you about that has something to prove. Something to show. You’re better off, IMO. Just be confident, as you should be given your a father who does what he can for his son. Also, as a car guy myself, real car people know the same thing you’re feeling, including myself. They are humble people if they’re genuine. Car people are geeks, in fact. Vehicles someone holds too close can cause issues in the relationship.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2025-03-23T14:27:45+00:00

They are not getting serious mate lol. She is one of his girlfriends. Your ex thinks they are getting serious tho.

You should NOT be hanging out with your ex to get your son's haircut or going to the park with her. Until you have let her go and moved on you need to parallel parent, not co-parent. A part of you is using this contact in the hopes she will change her mind about you. She isn't. The history you had means nothing to her. Women only care about how you make them feel in the moment. You need to accept that and grieve.

Keep contact strictly about logistics for your son. Nothing more. It will take a good 2 years to let her go, forgive, heal, and move on. No hanging out, no joint bdays, no BS excuses that you are telling yourself are for your son when it is really a desperate attempt by you to stay in her life. Cut it all out or you will never heal and move on. And if you dont fully heal and move on you will be a sub-par Dad.

Once you have moved on then you can co-parent and introduce joint activities. Moving on means you are completely fine imagining your ex getting railed by some other guy. It means you would be fine going on a double date with her and her new man and watching him slide is hand between her legs at the dinner table.

For right now cut out all unecessary contact. Unless it is pickups, drop offs, or an emergency there should be no physical contact. Even better if you can do pickups/drop offs at school so you would only see her in an emergency (and god willing that means you would not really see her until you have moved on).

It was completely inappropriate for her to show up at the drop off with her new boyfriend. You need to reach out to her and let her know she needs to give you advance notice if she is going to be rocking up with a new guy. You need to LEAD your new parenting relationship with her. Right now she has no respect for you and that is on you.

Don't worry about your POS car. Tip for your future self when you start dating again women don't give a flying fuck about cars....they only care that they are safe, clean, and that you show up on time. Only other guys care about cars. I saw a comment about motor cycles....same story only other men find them cool.

As for your "dad bod" yeah you will need to do something about that. No way around it women are physically attracted to healthy, fit, muscular men. That nice bod ticks all of their boxes in one quick glance - strength, ability to provide safety, discipline, confidence, competiton from other women, good genetics to pro create with. Instant physical attraction. Without it you will be trying to negotiate attraction with your money, sense of humor, being a "nice guy", buying her stuff, being overly sweet. It will not end well for you. The good news is the 2 years it will take to heal and move on is the perfect amount of time to get yourself to the gym and build a nice physique. You don't need to be Mr Roids tho. Women don't give a flying fuck about muscle past peak natty condition, only other guys do. 10-12% bodyfat to bring out the outline of your abs or better, and another 15lb muscle will get you to where you want to be physically for max physical attraction from females. If you are 35+ then TRT is going to offer huge benefits and make the journey so much better.

Stop hanging out in the park pining with your ex.....that was a great opportunity for an hour in the gym. Do continue being a kick ass Dad and congrats on your son!!!! Doesn't feel like it now but being a single dad is utopia. Whatever you do don't skimp on building that bod it will take your life to easy mode in all aspects. And do continue being in control of your emotions - combine that emotional regulation with a nice bod when you are ready the women will swoon.

Pro-IDGAF · 2025-03-23T13:29:26+00:00

I’ll go against the grain here and say you should probably get to know the guy a little, not like friends but see where he comes from since he’ll be around your son. Makes sure your son is safe with him.

dragonballfan4 · 2025-03-23T13:05:22+00:00

Keep at it just hope you can end up getting full custody. These women nowadays just want to be Instagram moms not good mothers.

No-Marsupial1823 · 2025-03-23T11:50:06+00:00

I salute you brother. I believe you did the right thing.

Rando_Ricketts · 2025-03-23T11:27:01+00:00

Focus on yourself and what’s best for you. Her rebound relationship probably won’t last anyhow and when they break up she’ll still have a big black hole in her heart and you’ll be that much farther to being healed because you prioritized yourself and healing

lonelySoulThrowAway · 2025-03-23T05:41:58+00:00

Only think of yourself and your son, rest all should be a motion blur to you. Remain cordially distant from all interactions. Give opinions only when related to effects on your son. No opinions, no chit chats on other topics.

She should be a co-parent, all the other feelings you are having is because it is fresh and she has already moved on but you are not. This is the most tumultuous times, so keep simple objectives and keep to it. Next time around wear sunglasses and chew gum. Keeps a shield for your emotions :D.

Get yourself a real classic motorcycle, your son will know how cool his dad looks in all that riding gear, any amount of muscle car won't stand a chance when you kick start your engine and your boy looks upto riding it one day !!!

Substantial-Slip2686 · 2025-03-23T05:06:16+00:00

If I had to hazard a guess, I would say that at some point she will be coming to you for emotional support. You know, after her new friend moves on to another woman. Indifference is your friend when interacting with your ex.

Concentrate on being a better you. It will all work out.

Eric_C_Productions · 2025-03-23T04:49:27+00:00

First of all, why are you obsessing over the new BF? That BF is the sloppy seconds for your ex-wife. Also, look it like this, let the new man in her life deal with her crap and drama. He is doing you a favor! The guy never went through what you went through and he has no responsibility except to his looks, himself and his muscle car that he is over compensating for other things. He is only looking to get laid and sees your son as just merely an hindrance to his conquest.

I don't understand how you really care what your ex wife is doing with her life. Let her. Let her be someone else's anchor and problem. Who cares if the other guy has a muscle car and you have a Honda Fit. Since when should you compare material crap with anyone else.!? There is always going to be someone better looking, have more money, have more of whatever. You just need to push that all aside. You need to focus on being the best DAd to your kid. Be the better parent. The other stuff is trivial.

People always think that the grass is greener on the other side. Its not. You grow your own proverbial grass and take care of it. Same goes for everything else. Look on the bright side, if she remarries and hooks up with this guy, the spousal support may stop. So win win for you my friend. Trust me, I was married for 20 years, together for 24. Do you think I wonder if she is happy? Or if she is dating a better guy? Heck no. Good riddance. I am living my life now. Freedom! Free of her crap, her drama, and all the control she had over me. I am my own man now. You should be too!

masterof-xe · 2025-03-23T04:16:01+00:00

Yeah, I'm in the same boat as well. I met the guy my ex-wife is going to marry and even found out he owns a ranch and business doing very well. Even has a mustang. Don't get me wrong, I'm bitter as hell, but I have to let it go. That is the person my ex-wife wants to be with and I love her that she found him. The guy can probably give her everything she truly needed. Support, both body and mind, financial and a great home. Our daughter loves the guy's own kids. She See's them as family already. I know I could have done better in our failed marriage, but I didn't and this is the outcome. Every price must be paid at sometime and this is the price I had to. She found someone to live a great life with while I'll survive and find someone for myself.

Fun-Conference1361 · 2025-03-23T03:42:11+00:00

Happened to me a year ago then six months later he ghosted her and she found out via Facebook post. Keep focusing on you and kids. Everything else will take care of itself.

upvotersfortruth · 2025-03-23T03:40:30+00:00

Tough spot. You did right. Hope he’s an ok dude.

dale_courtney · 2025-03-23T02:30:53+00:00

Men, I know it’s tough right now. Divorce can be a dark and lonely place. But remember, you are not defined by this one chapter of your life. You are strong, capable, and resilient. Take time to heal, focus on self-care, and surround yourself with loved ones. You will emerge from this season wiser, more compassionate, and ready for the new beginnings that await you.”

dale_courtney · 2025-03-23T02:28:45+00:00

Sorry about that

regertsrus · 2025-03-23T01:50:16+00:00

I met the new guy a year ago. Within weeks he moved into what is still my house deeded to me. Within months i found out he was trashtalking me to the kids. Confronted the protein shake drinking mooch right to his face about it. He turns around calling the police and lying about illegal things in my home. Cops came and went multiple times on false reports. Then the orders of protections followed which too are being thrown out for lies and deceit. Recently the child lawyer told him to bounce. Within 24 hours the x and new bf conspired how to blackmail the kids to be silent and tell the child lawyer they changed their mind. I show up to court and she tells me "you married her what do you want me to do". I told her politely that she wont have access to my kids any longer on my time. Then i told the court clerk the same. What is my advise? Be honest with your kids. Dont hold back when they have questions within reason. Disregard the court mandate to keep the conversations about court down to zero. This is how the courts are able to instill fear into men. If the kids dont know whats going on, its much easier for the court to scare you into believing you can loose them

Squidgy68 · 2025-03-23T01:47:23+00:00

I have just found out from my 11yr old Son all about my STBXW new fella he has a better car,House,Job, more money, taller, younger and my Son has been to his house and all 3 of them do stuff together, He's gave my son gifts and took the ex to Venice for her birthday, My STBXW decided not to warn me of this so came as a massive shock and a head fuck really struggling to get over this bit of the divorce more than any other from what my son has told me the new guy sounds OK and not a arse so I'm happy she has met someone who my son likes but it fucking stings to know he's doing the stuff with my son when I don't have access.

General_Aspect9947 · 2025-03-23T00:58:00+00:00

I am sorry dude she is trying to hurt you bc she feels guilty she has to know in her heart of hearts she F:#.d up

JustSomeDude7287 · 2025-03-23T00:44:18+00:00

I started to picture the day I meet her new guy, not the AP he’s gone. I’ve thought of saying:

1 - I appreciate you more than you ever know (taking the wretched woman away from me) 2 - Whatever she said it’s true and smile. (Her playing the victim heard she’s saying I was abusive, never laid a hand on her) 3 - When this is over you want to grab a beer and know the truth, call me (bc I know the shit she’ll put him through)

I probably won’t say anything but introduce myself and move on. Not my circus not my monkey, as long as he knows he messes with my kids then we’ll have a problem. I don’t care about their relationship.

henrysmyagent · 2025-03-23T00:41:25+00:00

Harsh to say, but only the lowest pick-up artists and f-boys troll for single moms.

The only thing you need to worry about is building your boy into the type of man who can survive even the very worst that life throws at him.

Turn him into a survivor...like his dad

Reflog1791 · 2025-03-23T00:40:32+00:00

Bro I’ve run into four of these clowns. Just remember you had her first before she was a washed up single mom.

You do have to hit the gym tho.

Substantial-Spinach3 · 2025-03-23T00:19:08+00:00

She is trying to get a reaction, don’t go there. Whatever you need to do, only discuss your son. Tell her that is the only conversation you will have with her. This says more about her than you. Very tacky.

helloworld2389023 · 2025-03-23T00:11:49+00:00

lol sounds like a tool. Don’t worry man, it won’t last. Just protect your son, focus on yourself.

HENKH4L · 2025-03-22T23:40:44+00:00

You're playing a different league! Try to focus on yourself, you'll be in a better place soon!

Subtle-Catastrophe · 2025-03-22T23:34:56+00:00

This ain't a fetish sub.

warwww · 2025-03-22T23:34:14+00:00

Meet him and shake his hand. “Thank you for helping to take care of my son. I appreciate it.”
Neutralize any attempt at making you feel small.

In all fairness she knew exactly how it would rile you up and make you feel less than. The reality is that he’s your son, not his. No new age stepdaddy labels, blended family nonsense can change that. Your lineage lives on in him, not another man. Just be the best father you can be.

Standard-Slide-7855 · 2025-03-22T23:32:45+00:00

Sorry you're feeling this way.

You're thinking about it correctly.

Don't compare. Let it go.

Don't let them live rent free in your head.

You got this.

Title	Ex showed up with her new boyfriend to drop off our son
Author	Puzzleheaded-Yam1718
Upvotes	104
Comments	69
Date	March 22, 2025 11:22 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1jhll2p/ex_showed_up_with_her_new_boyfriend_to_drop_off/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/ex-showed-up-with-her-new-boyfriend-to-drop-off.1547039 https://theredarchive.com/post/1547039

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