To clarify a bit I have to give a bit of my life story here, I have severe autism (not super low functioning but not high functioning either) and I have always never been successful with dating and friends in my earlier years starting in my teen years ish. My first approach to try and "fix it" was to read/watch dating advice content for men online so I became redpilled and focused more on pick up lines, social skill classes, studying redpill female nature, working out, being ambitious etc but it never worked out, when I tried to approach id never be taken seriously or was considered weird, repulsive, creepy so I ended up becoming more shy and introverted.

So in my late teens I switched over to incel content and the blackpill, believing that there was nothing I could do to improve my situation and that women were evil, (I may or may not had an old deleted reddit account in incel subreddits that existed at the time) this happened when I was 17-19 ish, even though I was in my incel phase I still hit on women because of hormones and loneliness (I can do without friends but I need a gf)

And then something happened, when I was around 19 I moved to a different state to live with another family member for two years, and during that time I actually met a girl that was interested in me! She was the first one that actually took me seriously in who I was and she was serious about being long term with me, and I was surprised because I wasn't masking at all during that time and i was socially awkward, had no social life outside of her while she had loads of friends and I certainly didn't act like the average person but it didn't matter to her. (though she teased me and encouraged me to make friends sometimes) when I was with her I ditched my redpill/incel mindsets since I realized they were bs and they didn't improve my mental health or dating life.

We stayed together for 2 and a half years, but in those two years I had to go back to my home state, so we became online for a while but ended things because of the distance. After we separated I began to analyze why I was able to attract someone despite not masking and staying the same person when I was in my early teens? and eventually I put two and two together, what made her different from the rest of the women I hit on before was that she was a bi/queer woman.

So then I had the idea of only approaching women who were bi/pan or nuerodivergent (or both) and avoid straight nuerotypical women, at first I was against it because I was mostly straight but I went with it anyways and it turned out I've had WAY more success with that change, I was allowed to cry and express my feelings, I was allowed to be a furry, I was allowed to not mask around her, I still got rejected a bit but queer women actually took me seriously, instead of being seen as a freak that made women uncomfortable I was seen as a good cute partner because of my blunt honesty and benevolence.

I think the reason why is because the majority of straight nt women follow societal norms heavily and are only attracted to the type of men they are told to like, the traditional masculine man, and they could tell that i wasn't normal, whenever I was hitting on them I felt like I had to constantly pander and play a part I didn't want.

I've also realized that I never liked trying to be the traditional masculine man society wanted me to be, I hated sports, hated the idea of providing, hated taking the lead in everything and didn't like going to the gym to be muscular etc, and nobody ever accepted me when I was that way as well, so I switched to being non-binary with femme lean and I've never been happier being my true me!

So the main takeaway here is that most dating advice for men online isn't helpful and can be harmful. (especially the red pill, I've noticed it's mostly a grift people use to make money off of desperate men). I’ve learned that being yourself really can be enough, especially when you're around the right people. For me, that meant stepping away from toxic masculinity, embracing my identity, and finding communities where I was genuinely accepted. Not all women are hypergamous and not all men need to fit the same mold.