Most generic mainstream politically correct advice, or blue pilled advice, or advice from those successful in dating (most women, some men) to those who have had massive failure or total lack of success in dating (most men, some women) is along these lines.

Be yourself. Don't over think. Don't act needy. She'll text back bro don't worry. Stop intelecullizing love. Dating is meant to be fun. Just ask her out. Go with the flow. Don't take it so seriously. Just smile and be confident. Everyone is an individual. If you want to text her text her don't play games. Just tell her how you feel bro.

Etc etc.

This works for people who have had success more times than failure. Most women and some men.

It doesn't work for MOST men and some women.

Imagine you're a man in his mid thirties. You have had maybe two short lived relationships or situationships your entire life with a rare sexual encounter here and there and a handful of dates. Now imagine you're living in a city, alone, and it feels like life is slipping through your hands and the prospect of sharing it with somebody is all but gone entirely.

Now imagine you meet a girl and go on a date and you like her. But from the get go she's only displaying signs of middling interest, because, well, you're MOST men so that's pretty much all you're ever gona get.

How can you tell this guy, who has had almost no luck his entire life, who gets ghosted and flaked on and barely any interest at all whatsoever, who is bordering on depressed because of how lonely he is, to just act and behave like a chill normal guy who hasn't experienced any trauma.

Just tell her you like her bro, text her if you want to text her, be yourself, just be confident bro.

If this guy does those things, he's toast. He's MOST men so he's inspiring nowhere near as much excitement in her as that city's equivalent of west elm caleb. People CANT just act totally chill and laid back and natural. They've spent most of their adult life being rejected or their relationships have been short-lived because their girlfriend got bored of them or stolen by somebody more exciting.

What you're basically doing when you give these people this seemingly innocent and obvious common sense Advice along the lines of just be a cool chill normal person and don't overthink and don't waste your time reading up on dating dynamics and human behaviour is telling them to close their eyes and trust that everything will be okay as they drive full speed at a wall.

In 2025 if you are the average man behaving like somebody who is successful in dating will only lead to more failure and more trauma. Intellectualising is a trauma response. It is the brain's way of ensuring that what happened before doesn't happen again. If she is barely interested in you and the only thing that gives you some sort of edge or unpredictability is by artificially regulating your own messaging habit or by altering your behaviour in person to be more attractive in a cocky funny kind of way then that's what you have to do Otherwise you will just blissfully be heading straight into failure after Failure.

This is why people turn to the red pill. This is why men over analyse and become cynical. It's because they learn in order to avoid more failure and trauma.

You cannot expect people who have had 15 to 20 years of failure and pain simply because they are not attractive at a base level to just act and think normal. You cannot just expect them to smile and carry on as if everything will work out okay. Because the fact is unless they change course they will never have a happy ending especially in this day and age where technology has made it possible for one attractive man to essentially hold the attention of almost every woman in the local area at any one time creating a more destabilised and uncertain dating market than ever.

So my debate definitive claim in short is that you cannot expect trauma'd people to act in a way as if they are not trauma'd because it simply won't work at best and will lead to more trauma at worse