It is entirely on men to meet women’s expectations. Women should not have to lower their standards

Downtown_Werewolf_44 · 2025-06-22T06:36:15+00:00

"this is a problem because there is a lot less of quality partners"

You got it all wrong. If everybody is rich, no one is. If all men wakes up tomorow being 6'1 with perfect abs, it doesn't mean that every women will be satisfied. It means that something that was a plus before is now a given and other qualities will be used to determine who's part of the top and who's not.

You can't really expend the elite, you just makes it harder to be a part of it.

"Women are the selector"

It's a little be more complicated than that. Dating and relationship are differents interactions. I would agree that women are the selector in casual dating but it's a little bit more mixed on relationship.

For a woman, getting dates, ONS or short fling doesn't mean much. Most women can get those kind of interaction from most men on the right circumstances.

What's really matter is your ability to get a meaningful relationship, this is what determine if your standards are accurate or if you are fishing to high.

As a woman, if you are lining up dates who just contact you at odd hours to smash, or don't contact you after getting what he wanted, you should lower your standards a bit.

ZaneBradleyX · 2025-06-22T06:24:48+00:00

So just to clarify, in your view, men aren’t supposed to have any standards of their own? They should work hard, become their best selves, and then just accept any woman who shows interest, regardless if she fit his standards? That doesn’t sound like equality, it sounds like men are expected to prove themselves while women are automatically the prize.

Charming_Parking_302 · 2025-06-22T06:39:09+00:00

It's not men's responsibility to meet women's expectations. I have made peace with the fact that i will either meet a man who meets my standards or I will remain single. But I cannot blame men for my being single. I could lower my standards if I wanted to. I don't want to!

Blue__Ronin · 2025-06-22T06:52:13+00:00

If this is actually the case (which i do beleive somewhat) men should start decentering dating and romance. I think its extremly damaging to center something that requires you to prove yourself to a group of people just to get it.

I think we need to change the status quo about only women being the selectors

pleddyd · 2025-06-22T06:23:06+00:00

I live in one of big cities in Russia and until 2022 I had zero success in dating. But in 2022 a lot of men left the country or relocated to other parts of it, and suddenly I started to get more matches and even real dates.

I personally didn't change at all before or during that year, just competition around me lowered significantly. However, in 2023 a lot of guys came back and my match and date rate dropped. At 2024 I couldn't get a single date. At 2025 I hardly can get matches.

I don't have any moral here, I am a bit ashamed that best years of my life were caused by international tragedies

fucksiclepizza · 2025-06-22T06:14:58+00:00

No one should have to lower their standards, but if there's someone you want then you either need to meet their standards or back off. Don't expect others to have to change for you.

LostYungHuMAN · 2025-06-22T09:02:32+00:00

ya thats chill but for most men the juice aint worth the sqeeze

shadowrangerfs · 2025-06-22T08:24:30+00:00

Ok. OP. Here's the question that needs to be asked. Why isn't that woman with a man who DOES meet her standards? Why don't those men want her? Why isn't she meeting the standards of the men who meet her standards?

If a woman doesn't want to lower her standards, fine. But that means that she needs to step up her game. She needs to become better so that she can attract the men who DO meet her standards.

I don't want women to lower their standards. Especially when it comes to a man's character. But women DO need to put in the work to find, attract, and retain the men who DO meet their standards.

growframe · 2025-06-22T09:02:31+00:00

We are in an age where women have abundant choice on who to date

It provides women the freedom to date who they want

The problem is so many men today are not worthy of dating

a lot less of the type of high quality partners that women deserve.

This sounds pretty contradictory. Do women have abundant choice or not?

Trancetastic16 · 2025-06-22T07:42:28+00:00

Well, some of us feel that hypergamous modern dating standards reflect an unhealthy hyper-capitalist and hyper-individualist car/city-centric racially segregated through economic gentrification (including immigrants given their own neighbourhoods) society in general, that is discriminatory in particular towards low income men, and other low income groups who live in poorer neighbourhoods such as racial minorities, disabled, veterans, homeless, LGBT people, etc. that the current unhealthy dating culture is both a reflection of, but also perpetuates.

Many virtue-signalling “left-wing” Feminist Caucasian women who grew up in wealthier families within the cities, benefit from unfairly distributed DEI scholarships and hiring and more women going to University compared to the imbalance when it was more men and that was seen as an issue.

And so, all of this has lead to Caucasian Feminist women in particular being the most culturally and thus economically highly valued people in western dating markets and thus also the ones who are fully aware of all of this but contribute to upholding this unhealthy western societal model including politically voting for it, despite all of this is also a form of discrimination towards the disadvantaged who don’t have as much time, money, and access to date within third spaces within the cities and how that effects their service and medical access in general as well.

If those privileged women in particular are the largest group not satisfied with the standard of their dating prospects, then I say we let this sick society collapse so we can build something better in it’s place, including the unequal distribution of societies recourses to politically lobby and support online dating sites and more third spaces and social movements to encourage more open gender roles for men and actual equality to help the disadvantaged in our society in particular.

calmly86 · 2025-06-22T06:32:40+00:00

“It provides women the freedom to date who they want and go after the type of men they genuinely are attracted to.”

Yes, women are the selectors. There’s few men who would argue with that. You’re right. Yet a lot of the men women are attracted to are straight up toxic/abusive/narcissists, though you only hear that from women after they’ve “escaped” from the very men they chose of their own free will.

Women want to choose who they want? Sure, enjoy. However, when the guy you choose who met your “standards,” who is drowning in women because he also meets their standards, and he cheats on you and abuses you, you don’t get to cry foul. With choices come consequences. The world is full of single mothers who stepped over the guys who would stay and choose the guy who wouldn’t.

nightcall379 · 2025-06-22T07:40:03+00:00

The problem is so many men today are not worthy of dating.

Work to have a high paying job, dress well, be educated, be fit, have ambitions..

Again, women lying about what they're actually attracted to and concealing their nature

The problem is that women split men into 2 groups

The majority of men are repulsive to women and the only way they can get a relationship is by spending years to become a Beta-provider that women don't love and only settle for

Meanwhile there is a minority of men that women love unconditionally, they could be misogynistic deadbeats living in their mothers' basements and still get thousands of women

So the majority of men need to spend the best years of their lives in torturous loneliness, working to get an education and a high paying job just to be settled for by a woman that doesn't love him, is only with him for convenience and his recourses, and will inevitably end up cheating on him and/or divorce-"graping" him, while his kids will be calling another man, dad

DGenerationMC · 2025-06-22T07:11:45+00:00

"Nah, imma do my own thing."

Hot-Impact-5860 · 2025-06-22T07:16:04+00:00

I predict MGTOW growing larger and larger.

ViolentShallot · 2025-06-22T08:29:18+00:00

I want to buy a house. I have a low income, but high enough for me to be able to travel.

When I travel, I pay for high end BnBs. Beautiful places, and I have abundant choice. I have the freedom to stay for a night in almost palaces, the places I genuinely like to live in.

My house searching problem is that so many houses within my budget are just... not worth staying at. They aren't rising to the occasion and the former owners aren't working to meet my standards. Instead they are falling into complacency and laziness, and unwilling to do better. This is a problem because it means there are a lot less of the high quality housing options I and other low income people like me deserve. (I deserve it, because it's my standard, because I have rented those for a few days in airbnb)

Homesellers need to be encouraged to make their houses worthy of low income people and meet low income people standards, as homesellers are the ones complaining about people like me not buying their houses, and like it or not, people who buy houses are the selectors and the housesellers need to prove their value.

Work to have a beautiful luxurious house

Low income buyers should be encouraged to set their standards as high as possible, as ultimately they are the selectors.

There, now you can see the flaw in your reasoning.

caubelangthang245 · 2025-06-22T06:34:08+00:00

Need hoe_math to read this post and make video about it.

TopShelfSnipes · 2025-06-22T06:27:55+00:00

Work to have a high paying job, dress well, be educated, be fit, have ambitions..

These aren't the reasons some men are failling.

-Be fun, learn how to read body language and other nonverbal cues to gauge interest. -Have a social circle where you meet lots of women organically. -Be upfront about what you want out of a new connection, be it friendship or something potentially romantic, and say that in plain English. -Cultivate mixed-gender social circles centered around common interests and fun. -Laugh, banter, flirt, and be playful - and not only with women who you are immediately attracted to, but with everyone. -Have goals, and plainly outline them, as well as your plan to achieve them - your actual income or career in that moment is irrelevant, but your vision for the future is everything. -See who responds, and decide whether or not to react from there. -Once in a relationship, be a competent adult and continue to be fun while working towards shared goals. -And stop wasting time, money, and effort on low ambition pursuits like gaming, porn, screen time, dating apps, and weed.

This is why some men today are failling.

WebNew9978 · 2025-06-22T06:57:26+00:00

I’m shocked this post wasn’t made by certain user on here.

nightcall379 · 2025-06-22T07:28:54+00:00

It is entirely on men to meet women’s expectations. Women should not have to lower their standards

No one's asking you to lower your standards, stop straw manning the opposing argument

The point is that women collectively lie about their standards and what they're actually attracted to

On one hand women claim to be attracted to loving, respectful, kind, responsible men

While on the other male model tier guys get tens of thousands of women even when they openly admit to being convicted serial "pea doughs" and "grapists", while normal average guys get nothing

Stergeary · 2025-06-22T07:54:04+00:00

So you're basically going for a full war-of-the-sexes, completely zero accountability for women regarding our current societal conditions as a result of feminist policies, but full responsibility on men for rising to meet women's new arbitrarily high standards while improving nothing about herself? If you're going to treat this like a Prisoner's dilemma and just choose "Defect" all the way down, why should men choose "Cooperate" and give you what you want? Why shouldn't men just decide that since they have the physical power to subjugate women, morality and ethics be damned -- put them all back into the kitchen and any woman who speaks up gets properly stoned to death like Leviticus teaches us? You're literally giving men zero reason or incentive to do what you want them to do, because you want to wipe your hands clean of having any part in solving the problem while expecting men to just deliver more "high quality partners" relative to your standards for you to date. What's in it for us? If we just wanted to fulfill our needs, why not just do so by force instead if you're not even willing to meet men half way?

BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-06-22T08:43:58+00:00

On an individual level, you play the game in the world you live in. Your individual approach is up to you and should be based on your own individual qualities. That said, I believe a lot of people--men and women alike--don't really understand what will actually make them happy in the long run.

However, the OP is making broader claims about how society works that are both naive and uninformed. While human females are the primary sexual selectors, male sexual selection is significant as well. Moreover, this whole hyper-individualistic, rights-based approach is only even conceivable within certain types of societies, and it depends on those societies functioning and competing with others. The idea that so long as everyone just does what they feel is best for them, and the aggregate mating results do not matter, is beyond silly.

In the longer term, I don't think a modern society where you ask men to do more overall just because women have more sexual leverage is sustainable. Now, if you think men are not matching female effort in life overall, or are somehow not working smart when it comes to dating (i.e. you aren't asking them to do more, just do it differently), make that argument more explicitly.

RentUsual_2952 · 2025-06-22T10:51:31+00:00

nahh screw living up to anyone's expectations...it's me me me and me i gotta worry and take care of. Everybody can eat a dick.

Ultramega39 · 2025-06-22T12:08:38+00:00

Shouldn't the opposite also be true, shouldnt women strive to meet the standards of the men they want to date?

Or should men just have no standards and be willing to accept the first woman who gives him attention?

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2025-06-22T06:28:17+00:00

who says 'women' (like, all of them?) deserve these high quality partners? and if you haven't heard women complain about modern dating, you haven't listen to women talk lol.

don't get me wrong - have whatever standards you want, man or woman. i don't care about that, just don't expect the world to cater to your expectations (again, man or woman).

Axis_Control · 2025-06-22T07:22:51+00:00

Realistically both men and women should focus on themselves and their lives and having good jobs and living the kind of life they enjoy.

Not just men.

-Kalos · 2025-06-22T06:24:02+00:00

This lack of effort from men is due to porn. Why do all that when you can get instant dopamine through your screen without putting yourself on the line? People don't want to admit they're sexless because of porn but that's exactly why many are, it's just easier to blame someone else over the thing that makes you feel good

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Ratfinka · 2025-06-22T06:14:32+00:00

anisogamy

CandidPurple3 · 2025-06-22T06:37:53+00:00

The problem that you have described is a result of modernization and its monopolisation of the sexual marketplace; average doesn't quite cut it for men to get a good deal. Also, men don't need to to go through that to see a woman naked.

Arguably, with women being more independent nowadays, lowering standards should be a consideration given men's prioritisation of looks and sexuality when seeking a female partner, irrespective of their socioeconomic status.

bzl33 · 2025-06-22T07:28:54+00:00

You're not wrong but the problem is being accomplished has become harder. People in the comments and online will complain about the standards but you have only two options: become as competitive as possible or quit. Applies to everything from dating to the job market to making friends to buying a house.

I also blame the whole "focus on yourself" "love yourself" movement, nobody gets anything worthwhile done by themselves. It's more comfortable to be by yourself too and online people encourage that behavior.

Subject-Storage4232 · 2025-06-22T12:13:46+00:00

Blackpiller here. I agree.

The whole point of relationships and sex is for reproduction to pass on the genes to the next generation.

If your genetics are inferior, you have to be weeded out.

Fantastic-Spray-8945 · 2025-06-22T12:18:16+00:00

Interesting. Could you elaborate on why women should be able to dictate who men are?

Independent-Mail-227 · 2025-06-22T12:37:33+00:00

Is physically impossible for men at large to meet women expectations, it even less likely that they can do it to a long period of time

Blightning421 · 2025-06-22T06:52:52+00:00

I will apply this same logic to your job search:

If you can't get a good job, it's entirely your fault. It's not the market, it's not the location, it's only YOU. If you aren't fulfilling a jobs hiring expectations on your resume, don't expect them to hire you. Businesses don't need you, you need them.

Hiring companies should be encouraged to set their standards as high as possible; if you don't measure up and get hired, that's entirely on you.

How does that makes you feel?

Title	It is entirely on men to meet women’s expectations. Women should not have to lower their standards
Author	Disastrous-You2726
Upvotes	0
Comments	142
Date	June 22, 2025 6:08 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1lhgxom/it_is_entirely_on_men_to_meet_womens_expectations/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/it-is-entirely-on-men-to-meet-womens-expectations.1555253 https://theredarchive.com/post/1555253

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