Is a man who sleeps with a lot of women generally a player or womanizer?

TheGloriousEv0lution · 2025-08-09T02:52:39+00:00

I don’t think it’s possible to not be seen as a player if you’re having sex with a lot of women

No matter how clear you are with your intentions there’s always be a number of women out there that’ll nod and agree when you say it’s just casual, but then go around call you a heartbreaker that led her on for not wanting more

It’s not his fault obviously since nobody is entitled to sex or a relationship, but you still get the reputation regardless. When it comes to casual sex, hurt feelings tends to happen

Temporary-Flight-192 · 2025-08-09T03:30:19+00:00

I don’t think most guys who are sleeping with lots of women or multiple women at a have to lie. They just hook up with people after a party or social event, there isn’t any discussion beforehand of “what are we” or “where is this going”.

If a guy wants to turn a one night stand into one of his ongoing fwb’s, he may or may not hide his involvement with other women, most of the “lying” is him pretending he is way more into the girl than he is.

I think context matters too. If this is a bar hookup, it might turn into a relationship but no one has big expectations. If a guy meets a girl at school and takes her out on dates several times, she’s probably going to assuming this is ltr bound.

Let’s face it, no one is waiting for a ring before sex anymore and most people don’t have the exclusivity talk before sex either. I think most “misrepresentations “ are not actual lies, but someone acting they are really into you, only to ghost. Or they act really into you, lovebombing and constantly texting, and the the other person finds out they are emotionally stringing along several people at one time. This is usually intentional manipulation.

KayRay1994 · 2025-08-09T01:37:20+00:00

Doesn’t matter how common or uncommon it is, hooking up with someone while deliberately making them think it is just that (either by direct misleading or omission) is wrong no matter what. Of course, sometimes miscommunication happens and lots of hookups are spur of the moment - I’m not referring to those. I’m referring to the deliberate attempt to sleep with someone with the direct intent of not following up or offering anything more. If that’s what you’re gonna do, be up front - how successful for unsuccessful one is doesn’t justify it

AreOut · 2025-08-09T01:35:49+00:00

it depends on culture, the number of such guys in USA might be 10% while in Asia certainly way less than 1% as women there aren't inclined to have casual sex

AlmostKindaGreat · 2025-08-09T04:11:01+00:00

Anecdotally, I sleep with pretty many women. I’m just looking for casual right now and I’m 100% upfront about it. There are plenty of options without needing to lie or misrepresent my intentions.

The women I see are roughly in the top 20% most attractive. I say this not to brag but to point out that they are not at all desperate. They have options. Most of them would be at least open to an LTR, or even have that as their primary goal, but are open to fun in the meantime.

I haven’t run into any problems with women accusing me of misrepresenting anything or stringing them along. Which is good because I’m not a player at all (in the negative, dishonest sense). Kindness, honesty, respect, and thinking win-win are very important to me.

Odd_Quit_8905 · 2025-08-09T01:50:59+00:00

It’s a bit weird at some point. Like I’m not gonna trust you around my girl and I’m probably not going to ask you for relationship advice at all. Those kind of men get run through in similar ways promiscuous women do.

Narrow-Ad-7856 · 2025-08-09T10:43:07+00:00

Depends on age. If they're over 30 and trying to be a player they're usually deeply insecure losers trying to "catch up" because they didn't get any pussy when they were younger.

esdebah · 2025-08-09T01:49:58+00:00

No. Plenty of them just like to have sex with nice people who also want to have sex with nice people. Lots of people who are intentionally successful at having a lot of partners are ethical and honest. Once you get past the bullshit, it's really not that hard.

Reasonable_Mouse789 · 2025-08-09T02:53:25+00:00

I generally don’t feel guilty wasting less than 24 hours of someone’s time, and typically my intentions are extremely verbally clear by the 2nd date

Different_Cress7369 · 2025-08-09T09:31:31+00:00

He’s a root rat. Held in the same kind of opinion as one holds a randy Billy goat or the kind of dog that humps your leg.

mrlunes · 2025-08-09T17:23:19+00:00

I’ve known both types. Those who are very open with just wanting casual hook ups and those who have balanced up to 3 girlfriends at once. The second is a lot more rare. The majority of men that I know that sleep around specifically look for women that have the same mindset of quick and casual hookups. It’s pretty understood at this point that tinder isn’t for dating.

krayon_kylie · 2025-08-09T18:46:21+00:00

he's only either of those things if he plays or manipulates to get all that sex

if he doesn't use underhanded tactics to get laid he's just a guy who gets his dick wet

toasterchild · 2025-08-09T22:09:31+00:00

A small percentage of people who have casual sex are true casual all the time people. I think most are just people with avoidant attachment who crave a lot of aspects of real relationships but get freaked out by them and send lots of mixed signals. The best thing i ever learned for dating was to recognize and avoid these people.

the_1st_inductionist · 2025-08-09T02:24:28+00:00

I don’t know. Men who sleep with lots of women have a low view of women, which is why they substitute quality with quantity, and I think that generally tends to being a player or womanizer.

Kapoue · 2025-08-09T05:38:30+00:00

I was always super open with my dates that I only wanted casual relationships and that I was dating other women and even living with one of them.

Yes it wasn't for everyone and I had a few unmatch after making sure we were on the same page before the first date (reading OLD profiles is hard), but I don't think men need to lie to get casual sex.

Some men really have a hard time believing some women are looking for casual relationships/sex. Maybe that's why they feel the need to lie.

Also, it's much easier to get casual sex when she's looking for the same thing. No need to try to impress her with intricate and complicated dates then wait for her to "give" you sex on the third date believing you have long-term potential.

Also, lying sucks even for the one lying. I don't understand why people do it.

Morgoth_Worshipper · 2025-08-09T07:21:11+00:00

He is a man-whore in that case, an immediate red flag and nope for me.

BrianMcTill · 2025-08-09T01:40:01+00:00

To me only if he is fucking attractive women, if he can only fuck ugly women then no, that is not a big deal, everyone can do that, I would not call that a player or womanizer, he is still just a loser. How common is this? Don't know the number but the really handsome and successful guys I know will never commit to any women. Maybe the top 5-10% of men can do this. Not sure I get this but if you are asking if women misinterpreting handsome guys intentions than you are wrong, attractive women know exactly what they can expect, I had to learn this the hard way when I was young and naive. Heck many attractive women they fucked had long term boyfriend and husband waiting for them at home, they just got their turn, they spread they legs, no remorse.

champion_azure · 2025-08-09T10:22:40+00:00

If you think it's wrong then don't do it.

If someone slept with someone else, with the offer of a relationship, then rescinded the offer, I really don't see what the problem is.

People change their minds about relationships all the time.

WebBorn2622 · 2025-08-09T10:53:34+00:00

He doesn’t have to be.

If he’s upfront with his intentions, respectful towards all his partners and doesn’t use any manipulation tactics then he could just be a guy who has a lot of sex.

That being said I have never met such a guy

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Clean-Luck6428 · 2025-08-09T04:50:55+00:00

I’ve never misrepresented intentions.

Some women have told me after sleeping them for a couple weeks, “I only see us being in a long term relationship” then ghost.

Women pay in full on dates more often than you think. They want a dick appointment.

More women would do casual if they were comfortable with the power dynamic involved. They sacrifice their sexuality as a bargaining chip, which many women like to fall back on as a way to have control in the relationship. But it doesn’t matter for these women as they are simply seeking out what they want and this requires confidence that most women don’t have

YtBlue · 2025-08-09T05:51:05+00:00

The term "player" comes by knowing the rules of the game. So everybody who knows the rules are inadvertently players. Just depends on what definition you use. The original definition of player or what everybody else say now

Popeoath · 2025-08-09T20:05:15+00:00

He doesn't have to be, but probably is. Since:

The amount of guys who can frequently get casual sex honestly, without resorting to fat/ugly chicks, is small.
Even within that small group, the guys still may not be content with their options. If a guy wants to sleep with a specific woman, it doesn't matter if he can get a bunch of other women instead; he wants to bang that one specifically, and he'll lie to do so.
Some dudes only think with their genitals are are likely to back out of commitments they actually genuinely meant at the time, if they're horny and the opportunity arises.
Casual sex having guys are less likely to bother trying to be honest when they still catch heat for their lifestyle even when they do so.

EvalCrux · 2025-08-09T23:27:02+00:00

I’ve unintentionally turned into a player after devoted 10 year relationship and awesome kids torn apart by a perimenopausal 40 yo wife.

The women can’t get enough and don’t know what they’re looking for.

MUSICANDLIFE85 · 2025-08-10T20:27:20+00:00

Or neither. Just keep to themselves, solitude, stoicism and goal-oriented . A lot of women like that, especially when you let them know you value your time and stay busy.. they usually try to be a part of my schedule. If we align, then we can probably spend time.

MisterFunnyShoes · 2025-08-11T08:20:55+00:00

He will be viewed as that. In reality, he probably is simply skilled at getting laid and has normal male sexuality.

RedPillDad · 2025-08-09T02:16:26+00:00

More desirable men don't need to deceive women to gain sexual access. It's mutual attraction/desire. Without much effort, they qualify as lover material. The bluepill perspective is that Chad is behaving badly and he's breaking the hearts of innocent women.

Salty-Brilliant-830 · 2025-08-09T11:10:28+00:00

yeah, the best strategy for men is to lie about everything and be pushy (if they want to maximize the sex). a higher percentage of women respond to that than with honesty and reality

Title	Is a man who sleeps with a lot of women generally a player or womanizer?
Author	throwaway1328404
Upvotes	15
Comments	157
Date	August 8, 2025 11:39 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1mlank0/is_a_man_who_sleeps_with_a_lot_of_women_generally/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-a-man-who-sleeps-with-a-lot-of-women-generally.1559183 https://theredarchive.com/post/1559183

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