I (47M) and my wife (46F) have been married for 25 years, and a couple weeks ago she just decided that working on our marriage, which we have always said was important, was done.

For context we got in an argument when I noticed she posted online for her work. She had said it was going to be with multiple co workers, but when I dug deeper it was just one, a guy I had told her I didn't like her hanging out with alone. She got defensive and started trying to turn the argument into something completely different. We ended up not talking for a few days, and she then decided to sleep in our daughter's room (who is away at school) which we had always agreed is bad for our relationship, so we would always sleep in the same bed, even if angry.

After a couple days of that I figured it was enough, and we had to talk this out. When I did the fight started all over again, and she tried to make it about everything but the initial issue (her hanging out with her male coworker). Then she said she was done, and wanted a divorce...that she hadn't been happy for the last three years and knew I hadn't either. I told her this was completely untrue, and although the year had been very difficult (her job was slow, I lost my job, our dog died) we were working through it and we could see the light at then end of the tunnel.

She is committed to the divorce, but wants to stay friendly, which for my kids sake, I don't want it to be a big ugly fight. Every time we talk about it it seems like she comes up with a new issue she had with our marriage (our anniversary was much less than a 25th should have been due to just starting a new job and not being as well financially as I had been, or that I didn't pay enough attention to her, or was just bored with her) and I just feel lost...we had always worked through things and come out the other side...to just quit...it has to be this guy at work is more than a co-worker, even though she swears up and down that he isn't, but for my kids I am trying to stay strong and not make it a huge fight...it's just so hard...