Being honest, a lot of women who pride themselves on being “progressive” or “feminist” still reach for homophobic insults the second a man bruises their ego. If he rejects them, isn’t interested, or doesn’t fit their idea of a “real man,” suddenly he’s “gay,” “downlow,” or “zesty.” Don't be fooled. This is NOT curiosity nor is it allyship, but mockery. It’s the same prejudice they claim to oppose, just wrapped in sarcasm and self-righteousness.
What I am talking about isn’t about historic homophobia or what men do because yes, men can be just as bad. This post isn’t about them, so save the lazy "but men also..." comments. The difference is that women often position themselves as the morally superior gender: the empathetic, socially conscious side that “gets it.” Yet they try to ignore or downplay that, just like men, when their pride is wounded, many fall back on the same reflexes they condemn in men, using sexuality as a weapon to restore their ego.
And when it’s pointed out, the excuses appear instantly: “Not all women,” “those aren’t real feminists,” or “men do it too.” The first is evasion, the second is a textbook No True Scotsman fallacy, and the third is hypocrisy. Men are constantly told to take collective accountability for our worst examples and to own what our “bad apples” do. If that standard is fair for men, it should be fair for women, too.
Some groups would have you believing we'd moved past this kind of behaviour, but it’s crept back in through social media “humour,” where women use queerness and equate it with weakness or emotional dysfunction. It’s regression disguised as sass. We also see this in certain political arguments between the left and the right, but I won't get too deep into that.
The point is you can’t demand respect while using someone’s sexuality as a punchline, and you can’t preach moral superiority while behaving like the mirror image of what you condemn.
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