How do you treat a girlfriend you deem as only “temporary”?

Reasonable_Mouse789 · 2026-02-06T01:54:09+00:00

His long term plans don’t involve you. In high school this looks like moving away to college. In college this involves him moving to a different city than you for a job. After college and things are settled down I’m guessing you have to have actual intuitive awareness for which men genuinely want you, because there might not be any different behavior than how I’d behave when I was younger, even though I clearly didn’t end up marrying any of my high school girlfriends. I’m not sure if I’d be able to read myself either

Men seem to highly prioritize looks and purity culture all the way up until they realize they’ll get less sex if they do. I don’t know how to identify which men are which, or how they pick which less attractive/more attractive women they commit to. It’s up to the individual

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2026-02-06T10:43:46+00:00

little/no effort, not introducing her to friends/not meeting hers, avoiding serious conversations about the future etc., keeping things vague

Such-Bed7764 · 2026-02-06T01:18:39+00:00

I didn’t introduce her to my friends.

SeemedGood · 2026-02-06T00:26:23+00:00

We don’t think the same way you do. We don’t have a concept of “temporary commitment until we find something better,” because we don’t actually value the “commitment” part (as “commitment” just means that we give and you take).

The chances that any woman is dating a guy who is “stringing her along” for access to sex are slim.

Women are hyper selective, and therefore have a lot of overlap as to what they find attractive. If women are actually (read: actively) sexually attracted to a given man, the modal probability is that he has, and has always had, multiple other options for sexual intimacy and she is, and always has been, just one of multiple potential partners for sexual intimacy.

So, if a woman feels like she’s being “strung along” it’s a near certainty that she’s either stringing herself along by shooting above her pay grade (and therefore just part of a harem while she fools herself that it ever could have been anything more) or, the man in question had given her the benefit of the doubt on her personality after observing multiple red flags because he though she might actually be cool enough for commitment despite the multiple red flags.

TL;DR: “Temporary girlfriends” are far more hassle than they’re worth, so if you feel like you were a “temporary girlfriend” you were never even being considered for the “girlfriend” role and you knew that from jump.

corey____trevor · 2026-02-06T00:38:34+00:00

My guess is this is more of a character trait than a specific choice. I would think the men who would "string along" a woman would just do that by default, not because of the specific woman at all. So there wouldn't be any different treatment as they would treat all women like that.

ta06012022 · 2026-02-05T23:56:25+00:00

I've never strung a woman along. I've had casual relationships like fwbs, but those were always explicitly nonexclusive.

I don't really see the point of having a "temporary girlfriend" and doubt it's that common. If the guy could do better than a given woman, he would probably already be with that better option. People tend to go for the best option they can get.

I_DOM_UR_PATRIARCHY · 2026-02-06T00:26:54+00:00

What are warning signs women should look out for that point towards a man not taking her seriously despite being exclusive with a girlfriend title?

The main thing is whether the guy is investing in you / your relationship.

wtknight · 2026-02-06T02:23:31+00:00

I have never dated a temporary girlfriend. I only date seriously.

nsfwthrowaway6996 · 2026-02-06T02:58:23+00:00

I've never strung along a woman. Especially with the label of girlfriend.

But I've hooked up with women, that I had no intention of being serious. But that was mutual. The line for me was never doing anything for her that a boyfriend should do. My example was don't call me if tire pops, your stuck on the side of the road and need help. That's not me. Call AAA.

TopShelfSnipes · 2026-02-06T07:13:05+00:00

The question in the title doesn't match the question in the post.

How do you treat a girlfriend you deem as only “temporary”?

The same as any other girlfriend, just without any kind of long term or future planning. Super common in high school, college, or summer girlfriends when you're working out of state like I did at those ages.

Have any of you guys had experiences where you strung a woman along for comfort/ sex/ fear of being alone?

No. If I wasn't attracted to her and I didn't enjoy her personality, that was a total nope. Friends only, if even that.

What are warning signs women should look out for that point towards a man not taking her seriously despite being exclusive with a girlfriend title?

This likely varies depending on different guys. But I'd suspect a mixture of avoidant behaviors.

Main-Tiger8537 · 2026-02-06T07:13:26+00:00

what is this framing again?

there are multiple ways to tackle relationships... the two main ones are serious with children + marriage in mind from the start OR casual that can go in any direction... in both you do not know how it evolves hence divorce or breaking up is pretty common if it does not work out... testing things out can be done in many ways and you do not have to treat a temporary partner bad in any way as all partnerships or relationships could be seen as temporary if we look at statistics...

ColbyTzan · 2026-02-06T17:57:47+00:00

When I have strung women along in the past I had genuine hope that if they worked on the red flags I saw and communicated to them they would be great wives. Once I realized its not gonna work or I won't be able to put up with it I end things. The problem from my behavior is I am not gonna tell her that I broke up with her for the reason I am. They always swear they can "fix it" when the issue is behavior they willingly engage in such as waking me up early when I work nights. Yes it is easy to fix no you have not fixed it in years and I'm not gonna be 4 years into a marriage dealing with that.

So yes they feel strung along because I genuinely wanted them as a wife but they just don't measure up and they can't tell exactly why they don't beause I'm not gonna keep saying the same thing over and over when we both agree it is a problem. Women wouldn't wanna marry a man who they had to tell to stop fingering them in their sleep or who left dirty dishes in the bedroom all the time.

Often women act like its a guy just lying to a woman but no. Lots of times a man realizes you aren't gonna be good long term and if he signs up to marry you he will be signing up to suffer. No thank you and good luck in dating.

RevolutionaryJob7908 · 2026-02-09T17:23:54+00:00

Time and effort spent with you in contrast to how much he works his job and leave room for hobbies. Does he want to spend time with you. Also just pop the question on him if it's been long enough. Scare him away or make him closer, getr done. Lol

Due_Appointment_1188 · 2026-02-06T08:54:41+00:00

Have any of you guys had experiences where you strung a woman along for comfort

I mean, I'm doing that right now.

Looking for my last partner / future wife, but the road there would be much more painful if I didn't make some pit stops along the way. That's how I started, actually. I would push all these girls away because they weren't "the one" so quick. It became discouraging to keep trying, keep going on dates, felt like my person just isnt on the apps and I'm wasting my time. And she probably isn't, that's why I started combining it w/ cold approaching latelyl, but the point is that ever since I stopped pushing away the maybes, journey's started to be a little more fun.

It also helps with your game, you get more reps in. its just hard to not get lost in your own bullshit sometimes, so much that you forget where you're going. Happened to me a few times, but the more experience you get you learn to better stay on track.

Now, to answer your question, what to look for? It's simple, look for signs of low interest that you may conveniently confuse for confidence. Does he appear overly secure in your "relationship"? It's probably cause he doesn't care. Does he ever wonder why "you're on your phone so much"? Is he ever curious where you're going? Did he ever show interest in seeing who you hang out with? Did he meet your family? Does he want to spend any time with them / get to know them at all?

One of the girls I'm seeing hangs out in bars and clubs almost every other weekend with her friends, and she said I'm the first guy in her life that never gave her shit about her "lifestyle" lol. She has no clue just how far away she is from the energy I'm lookin for

AlarmingArm9919 · 2026-02-05T23:57:34+00:00

it's not about treating them as temporary

it's about making sure you leave before you get left

or at least aren't blindsided

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growframe · 2026-02-06T00:31:59+00:00

How do you treat a girlfriend you deem as only “temporary”?

I don't deem girlfriends as temporary, at least not in the way that you seem to talking about

Have any of you guys had experiences where you strung a woman along for comfort/ sex/ fear of being alone?

No

These-Sport-421 · 2026-02-06T00:37:32+00:00

Have any of you guys had experiences where you strung a woman along for comfort/ sex/ fear of being alone?

No, if I date a woman its long term with marriage in mind

Kingcrow33 · 2026-02-06T13:15:17+00:00

I break up with them. Not looking for temporary.

Livid-Log7463 · 2026-02-06T19:51:05+00:00

The best way to tell would simply be to evaluate if there is a gap in desirability between the two of you, making sure not to use your own default overestimated evaluation of yourself.

xxTheMagicBulleT · 2026-02-06T21:21:19+00:00

I dont do temporary. If I feel that way I dont stay.

I have a strong moral compass that I dont treat people how I don't wish to be treated. But if people play games with Me or treat me badly then I put a mirror up and treat them the same way.

So il never go into a relationship that I would see a short term or temporary. But if I feel used or disrespect and played with. Il definitely give that same energy back.

So I don't belief in going into things with bad intentions but i do belief in getting even when you feel your wronged.

I think its a waste of time when you ho into relationships trying to play games.

matthedev · 2026-02-07T02:31:19+00:00

If you haven't received letters patent formally granting you the title of Girlfriend, Non-Temporary, it's hard to say for sure.

Standard-Banana6469 · 2026-02-10T13:27:18+00:00

If he stops having sex then you know. If you aren't having sex to begin with then basically you are using him as an emotional support animal, and it means you don't care about him as a person, cause you don't care enough to get over yourself. Its that simple.

midnight_blue77 · 2026-02-06T06:45:45+00:00

I treat her as that: Temporary.

But also let me tell you, just because we commit fully to a woman it does not mean circumstances won't ever come up latter on that won't break our commitment to her. Women are constantly changing so the woman we love and commit to will not be the same person latter on in life therefore do not expect us to stay committed when the person we commit to is not there anymore.

My ex-gf was a potential "forever" and I had to break up with her for complex reasons. I did not string her along and had no intention of ever leaving her. Our relationship was just never going to work because I was never able to solve a lot of problems like my status to match hers so rather than wait for the slow decay of falling out I just decided to end it before she would grow to resent me.

Title	How do you treat a girlfriend you deem as only “temporary”?
Author	Fun-Insurance-4539
Upvotes	10
Comments	94
Date	February 5, 2026 11:50 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1qx1th8/how_do_you_treat_a_girlfriend_you_deem_as_only/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-do-you-treat-a-girlfriend-you-deem-as-only.1572822 https://theredarchive.com/post/1572822

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