I've come to the realization that marriage and divorce are all about the woman in life and in courts.

Outrageous-Kiwi8506 · 2026-03-20T22:19:41+00:00

Learnt I should have been smarter and trusted my instincts to leave so much earlier. I was and still am a trusting person and still believe there are good in people.

Outrageous-Kiwi8506 · 2026-03-20T02:40:01+00:00

As an example, he would refuse over 20 years to pay for half share of mortgage or health insurance which he have because he learnt some living. Now that doesn't count for property division. I was too scared to leave from his threats, intimidation and more against me and my family. There is more to it all of course.

O12345678 · 2026-03-20T01:32:36+00:00

And growing up we were taught it was shameful to expect our wives to do anything for us and that we're lazy if we relax. And also taught that we would be expected to take care of them. Hell even now that my marriage is essentially over and we have nothing but a "business" and co-parenting arrangement in the same house right now, I would still never to so much as ask her to move my laundry from the washer to the dryer even though she was a stray at home wife before we had kids, still is even though the kids are at school all day, she's getting half of my savings that I busted my ass to earn while she was out partying and cheating on me, and will be getting child support and alimony for at least 10 years. Even given all that, I would still feel guilty for asking to help me with anything.

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2026-03-20T00:16:10+00:00

They’re Worthless - defeating feminism once was enough ! NEVER AGAIN !! 🐶

ThemeSerious · 2026-03-20T00:04:53+00:00

Saulzy · 2026-03-19T23:06:34+00:00

Basically.

Outrageous-Kiwi8506 · 2026-03-19T21:25:12+00:00

Well my situation is the reverse. Men. I'm not a man hater. From what I'm going through, the majority of stories I hear are the other women under coercive control who finally get out and divorce. My situation I have all to lose, he has blatantly taken advantage of me financially for many years. So to me your line "its all about the woman in life" is a narrow view. I wish you luck.

justkickingtires111 · 2026-03-19T20:41:56+00:00

Men are simps, can’t blame the women as men create the situation.

Olderbutnotdead619 · 2026-03-19T16:25:12+00:00

Because men play no role and are just victims?
I strongly discourage my child from getting married. There is no benefit for women to do so.

If they do, I want them to both sign contracts that include expectations including a division of labor.

Men see marriage as transactional, so let's break it down to the numbers.and situations.

Lil-TeaCup · 2026-03-19T15:54:07+00:00

Why court? If people don’t want to be together, just take what’s yours and go. Maybe I was in such a distress that I didn’t care about anything but clothes and document’s. They can keep what ever. I just want myself back.

Vollen595 · 2026-03-19T15:43:56+00:00

Not. One. Cent.

How? Put every asset in a Trust long before getting married. Including the house, inheritance, whatever else you want to keep insulated from a possible gold digger. Never co-mingle funds, live straight off of your or both of your incomes. You can live in a house owned by the Trust, it functions much the same way as if you own it personally. The major difference is the house and any other asset encompassed by the Trust are not subject to divorce proceedings. You can always add your wife to the Trust if you’re in a solid marriage but from my end, i structured it for my daughter, not my eventual exw. Outside conservators will handle my kids Trust when I’m gone and my now ex received exactly nothing. She spent the last few years of the marriage assuming half of the Trust would go to her in the event of divorce. And I let her believe that, she really showed her true colors then.

I won’t lie, when her attorney explained to her in mediation she wasn’t getting shit I had to hide a laugh. In all fairness, if I was in a healthy marriage and I trusted her I would have shifted the part of the Trust to her. But since she was a lying cheating drug addict, not a penny. She fully expected half. Turned out she was wrong. All we had to split were assets accumulated during the marriage which wasn’t a whole lot.

Spend a little money now on a family law attorney and structure a Trust or lose it all later when you have no protection.

stantkoa602 · 2026-03-19T14:59:37+00:00

Amen. Head down waiving like a beauty pageant winner

Reflog1791 · 2026-03-19T14:57:14+00:00

Hilarious post and comments. I learned this fuckin lesson at 28. Of course my mom wants me to get married again. Gave me the whole speech about how it makes HER feel.

These comments reminded me just how expensive that last mistake was. So much money wasted on a thot.

Shai_Hulu_Hoop · 2026-03-19T14:15:30+00:00

Those women should be avoided. Society is sick, frankly. Find a woman that is intentional and accountable. Does she own her mistakes? Does she choose to prioritize you? Does she avoid distractions when you spend time together? Does she make you a focus in your appropriate times or when it’s convenient? Is she curious about you?

These are some of the hallmarks of a healthy partner. They need to be healthy on their own before they can be healthy with you. Be fine with meeting people and breaking up with them. Be fine with dating someone and knowing that they won’t work for you. Your value isn’t contingent on them.

It doesn’t matter if most women are terribly unhealthy. Find a person that has done the work to heal. They are out there.

And marriage doesn’t need to be the conclusion. If it is, maybe have a prenup. Or don’t. The point is the person and not the institution.

mesi130 · 2026-03-19T13:47:56+00:00

No benefit to marriage if you’re the higher earner. You have everything to lose

hindumafia · 2026-03-19T13:36:01+00:00

This needs to be in regular mens forum and not just this one.

IrresponsibleInsect · 2026-03-19T13:36:00+00:00

Welcome to the patriarchy. /s Still looking for my white male privilege too. I think when I was born they gave my parents a coupon instead.

BipolarSwordfighter · 2026-03-19T13:04:01+00:00

Its like the more supportive you are while married the more youre on the hook for when they leave.

Gotta maintain the status quo for years as the family courts take their time. Years of paying child support based on calculations made years ago.

tonyway7293 · 2026-03-19T11:18:24+00:00

Hardest lesson I ever learned

NEVER enter a contract where someone (woman) is rewarded for breaking it.

Marriage is a farce

IcyMycologist4837 · 2026-03-19T11:12:09+00:00

Pretty much true in too many cases. All risk very little reward. Prenups younger fellows. Better than nothing.

TeddyPSmith · 2026-03-19T11:09:06+00:00

Don’t forget “I want a divorce”

Title	I've come to the realization that marriage and divorce are all about the woman in life and in courts.
Author	TheConjugalVisit
Upvotes	104
Comments	96
Date	March 19, 2026 10:44 AM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1rxx1s3/ive_come_to_the_realization_that_marriage_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/ive-come-to-the-realization-that-marriage-and.1575883 https://theredarchive.com/post/1575883

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