This sub has helped me understand much about both what I and other people want out of relationships and I’ll always be grateful for that. But it’s also clear that there’s a seriously pessimistic view about sex and relationships in general that this sub holds that seriously poisons my view on sex and relationships. Let me sum this up in a few short sentences:

  1. Sex is a commodity women give to men in exchange for the man’s attention.

  2. Status and wealth is a commodity men give to women in exchange for sex and to keep the loneliness at bay.

This is transactional and it makes love sound like an animal feeling, and I don’t like it. Yes I want to have sex with my partner but I want to enjoy spending time with them. I don’t want them to be just an object of sex and I don’t want to be just an object of status to them.

I don’t know if the opinions this sub has is a healthy opinion or if the real world is any different. But from what I’ve seen in the (limited) interaction with the real world, this sub tends to be on the money when it says love isn’t real and it’s all a transaction. But maybe that’s just because I’m not good enough to get a healthy relationship.

So is this all just pessimism or is it all truth?