are British men actually gentlemen?

WildTenderness · 2020-10-14T16:44:43+00:00

Men suck all over the world

LizardInFirst · 2020-10-14T16:48:02+00:00

Sorry to break it to you but most British men (especially on dating apps) are emotionally unavailable fuckboys, but some of them hide it really well.

Also, be careful if you’re originally from Asia, as I’ve known a lot of British men with an Asian persuasion fetish, and/or who want an Asian woman because they think she’ll be very submissive - both in and out of the bedroom.

EarthKveik · 2020-10-14T20:23:27+00:00

Scot here who has dated in both Scotland and SE England.

Fwb is a thing. Very, very much a thing. Younger women are pressured hard to accept these arrangements in some social circles. Guys feigning interest and then pulling back and offering friendship to "see where it goes" is common as fuck. As are pushy older guys wanting to be your "friend" or trying to hijack your hobbies or attempts to find work, network or build a social circle to force you to spend time with them. So many alcoholics.

I once had a stinking fat scrote (and I mean stinking. Of piss.) who must have been well past 50 use what was supposed to be a job interview at a charity to moan about how "mercenary" Scots women are (i.e. we dare to have standards) and tell me all about his health conditions including his "buried penis". The "charity" turned out to be just him trying to get government money for harebrained projects.

You'll find lots of married men looking for strange, always check the finger for signs of a hastily hidden ring having been there. The mental gymnastics they'll perform to justify their behaviour are truly breathtaking. So many allegedly "open" or "poly" marriages.

Cheap? You betcha. He bought you a meal, why aren't you sucking his dick already? Why won't you come over to his place already? Can he come over to yours? Pleeeease? He'll go halfsies on a takeaway!

Every social circle seems to have a pickme or two who wants to pimp you out to some crusty mad-eyed sperg because apparently he's "nice" or "deserves a chance with someone". Also, you'll find guys in their late 40s or 50s and clearly desperate for a brood mare latching on to social groups that contain young women. I saw this more in the SE of England than I have in Scotland, but I'm sure they're up here too. These guys buy into the myth that men can sacrifice themselves to capitalism in your 20s and 30s and have their pick of the young women when they reach their 40s and 50s.

Unlike the rest, these ones can usually be relied upon to pay for a date, and they get fleeced. When I was in the SE of England I knew a good looking medical student who'd have one set up most week day lunchtimes. She refused to be taken anywhere that cost less than £100 per head for a lunch and never saw the same guy twice.

OLD is full of zero effort profiles- you're lucky if there's more than a line or two of text or one decent picture. Personally I haven't been on OLD for years. It's not worth the time, you're better off meeting people via social activities, the quality just isn't there online. Catfishing, fatfishing, hatfishing... don't expect them to tell the truth about anything. I once had a guy wait until I was en route to the first date to tell me he was completely blind!

Be very careful if you are Black or Asian. That puts you even more firmly in the disposable fuck toy category than the rest of us. Black women are something exotic to be enjoyed and crossed off the bucket list. A lot of men have weird ideas about Asian and East Asian women being "submissive" or living to serve men. In the SE of England some of them have similar weird ideas about "provincial" (Scots, Welsh, Irish) women.

Expect a hefty dose of classism along with the racism and other forms of bigotry, especially if he sounds "posh". If he has money he's probably going to be entitled and LV as all fuck. Usually though what you'll actually find when you scratch the surface is debt, debt, debt, debt, debt, snobbery towards those who refuse to take on debt, debt, debt debt and, oh yeah, even more debt. Easy credit has been the norm for a generation, the social pressure to look wealthy is immense and financial acumen is rare as rocking horse shit.

So very much like what American dating sounds like.

Maude2010 · 2020-10-14T18:07:34+00:00

Don’t let a posh accent fool you. Don’t even let good manners fool you.

Thestral-glow6 · 2020-10-14T16:49:37+00:00

No I wouldn’t say they are any better here in the UK. The players, fu*k boys, “nice guys” and sleazy creeps are here too!

ItsYesMaam2u · 2020-10-14T16:52:41+00:00

No difference unfortunately. LVM galore. The same FDS principles apply to find the HVMs in the haystack.

vitryolic · 2020-10-14T17:56:01+00:00

British guys are terrible, on parr with American men it seems. Casual dating is the status quo, and men wanting relationships are the minority, HVM within that category even less. The tactics for stringing women along are widely employed. Most relationships start on a casual basis then develop. Men gaslight each other into feeling less masculine about openly wanting a relationship. Sexual promiscuity is equated to masculine prowess. OLD is particularly bad, more so than I experienced in other European countries.

heythere360 · 2020-10-14T19:01:39+00:00

They’re not better gentlemen it’s just the accent sis 😩😂

freddoshouldbe10p · 2020-10-14T19:10:55+00:00

Emotionally unavailable, alcoholic and mama's boys by North American standards i would imagine. There are a few good ones, as there are everywhere I should think.

MythicalDisneyBitch · 2020-10-14T20:33:46+00:00

I live in the UK and trust me when I say it is not a country of gentlemen at all.

If a man here is over 30 and has all his teeth, no fakes, he's considered rarer than rocking horse shit.

fueledbycilantro · 2020-10-15T00:35:13+00:00

Dated a british man and he was the most emotionally abusive, trash man I've ever met. Slept around and dated plenty others. Literally every British man I know has severe daddy issues that stunts them emotionally for life. They're never direct about anything nor confrontational which sucks. They put banter high on their list of wants in a woman, but in return are boring and dry as hell. Avoid, run for the hills.

AnniaT · 2020-10-14T17:18:55+00:00

I have never dated British men but I have a friend that lived one year in London and she said that there was a big hookup culture, many men sending dick pics and wanting Netflix and chill dates. She hated the dating culture there. But this was just her experience.

Sashamorningmidnight · 2020-10-14T21:37:26+00:00

No British men are as bad as any group. They sometimes talk posh, have good manners, say they are feminists but its a veneer that falls away very quickly.

Once I had a posh boyfriend, he was white, Im Asian. He was sooo upset that I wouldnt cook delish daal, saag n aloo and chicken korma for him and his friends. He said 'I thought you would love to cook for all of us, isnt it part of your culture?' He wanted me to be his slave in the kitchen and the bedroom.

I handed him the menu for the local Indian restaurant!

Tread carefully and adhere to FDS handbook, make no exceptions for British men.

IrritatedMango · 2020-10-14T18:12:28+00:00

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CountingDownTheDays5 · 2020-10-14T16:46:58+00:00

I asked people the difference between USA dating and other countries, one woman inboxed me and said:

I found in America that guys seemed pretty immature and aggressive. Like if they bought me a drink they expected sex in return right away. In Europe there more relaxed. Obviously if a guy buys me a drink in a bar I'm fully aware that he's doing it because he's attracted to me and is hopeful of sex. But in America guys seem to think its like a porn film, they buy me a drink, i giggle and we screw in the bathroom lol

For me: Not in the UK but when I was in south korea the dating was very different. Even on apps. It was like night and day. I was going to make a post about it but it wouldn't post here.

cherrypepsilvr · 2020-10-15T01:26:10+00:00

As a British woman I have mostly dated British men, but also a few Americans. Honestly, they're about the same. Compared to what you're used to, some British men might behave with more reserve and decorum, but those are just surface behaviours, they aren't personality traits. By and large, what's in America was carried over from Europe, including patriarchy and male entitlement.

2020-10-14T22:10:35+00:00

I love this question. From my sample (n=1) the answer to your question is a big fat NO. I dated a British expat and he was the rudest and most commitment phobic man I ever dated. He used his nationality as a crutch (“I’m British thus I don’t talk about my feelings”). He lost his temper easily. He never answered questions honestly or directly. He refused to see me during Covid.

I’m not gonna lie - he was the most handsome man I’ve ever seen and his accent was to die for. He was wealthy and treated me to fabulous dinners. But at the end of the day he was mean to me and had unaddressed mental health issues.

divination__ · 2020-10-14T23:28:52+00:00

'wasteman' is also a thing in the uk lol.

there are 100% absolute NVM here. the culture is not radically different. people are people. there is no magical land with wonderful gentlemen. ultimately this is a liberal, western, pornified society and i doubt there are massive differences. however i will say, there are plenty of hvm here. but there is no shortcut, you have to carefully and rigorously vet all of them, everywhere.

luckyshvara · 2020-10-15T04:47:54+00:00

I don't know if you are asian yourself, but for me as non-asian, dating life in Asia is horrible.
What I mean is that the majority of men are LVM anywhere. Especially when you try to date out of your race, because you are not only exposed to LVM, but also to their fetishization.

lollykpops · 2020-10-14T18:13:27+00:00

As a British woman: no.

Our men are just as multifaceted as yours. We come from a wide variety of backgrounds and cultures, and nobody speaks the way the 'English gentlemen you've seen in media for more than one area in the country. There is nothing gentlemanly or charming about the men in my northern mining town.

Summerisle7 · 2020-10-14T16:44:29+00:00

I've heard good things and bad things about different countries. I would say men are basically the same everywhere, lol.

> I have started to talk a guy living in UK and I’ve become curious.

If you're not in the UK, why talk to men in the UK? Long distance chatting/dating is a complete waste of time.

Snoo-97022 · 2020-10-14T20:56:57+00:00

You are joking???? I am British and a lot of british men are louts with cavemen attitudes to women. Where I live they still in 2020 hang onto the outmoded concept of wife raises the kids 🤦‍♀️ got literally yelled at a la kai Anderson at the end of the season.

skyerippa · 2020-10-14T23:54:18+00:00

I was just dating a guy from England, he paid for everything and cooked for me all the time, was very sweet and bought me a couple of nice presents but he still pushed for sex and is sleeping with multiple other women while being with me even after I told him I didn't like it. So I blocked him

doofcustard · 2020-10-14T18:39:34+00:00

The only thing I can say in their defence is catcalling and following women is less prevalent than it seems to be in the America. The things I read about American men and the way they hassle women, horrify me.

sadlibrarian · 2020-10-14T18:13:48+00:00

Lol definitely not. Lots of duplicity with men saying they want a relationship but never making an effort. There's a set of British dating app cliches, just like anywhere else in the world 😴

Moloi-Jimai · 2020-10-14T20:48:13+00:00

Dated a British guy here in America. He lost his job and asked me for a green card marriage, I’d only known him for a couple months. I was like “if you talk to me again I’ll make sure you get deported” idk if I would have actually followed through but .. the AUDACITY.

BeADecentHumanBeing · 2020-10-14T22:35:25+00:00

That’s a thing of the past. It is rife with fuckboys of all ages doing their best to dismantle society.

2020-10-14T23:58:37+00:00

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Lovelywings2 · 2020-10-15T04:55:01+00:00

Random observation about online dating (OLD) in Canada. British men (and Irish men) will always say in their profiles that they are British or Irish. You’ll never be surprised to hear an accent when you have that first phone call, or see it mentioned in a message to you.

Oh no, brits shout it from the rooftops like it’s a personality. It annoys me, especially when there’s nothing else they have going for them in their profile.

You rarely ever see Vietnamese men listing “from Vietnam” in their profiles or Ghanaian men, etc. But brits, Aussies and Irish always make sure to brag about it - in hopes that the accent guarantees more interest from women 😒

Mountain_Nectarine_6 · 2020-10-14T17:29:26+00:00

It depends on the guy. I’ve dated British men- like actually boyfriend/girlfriend- and they were trash and LV. But I am sure not ALL British men are trash. There’s millions of them...

I think it really depends on the actual man.

Will I ever date a British guy again though? No way. I’m American through and through.

Cairenne · 2020-10-14T19:14:33+00:00

Yea, nah. Some of them maybe are, but for the most part even the "good" ones have their problems. HVM are that, wherever, but we don't get any more of them here than elsewhere.

malibooyeah · 2020-10-14T19:49:00+00:00

lmao no

hiraethsidhartha · 2020-10-14T21:16:55+00:00

Wasteman is used here in the UK too.

taele1996 · 2020-10-14T22:39:10+00:00

LOL where do I even start with this one. I’m from American, he’s from England obviously but he lives here now. I dated him briefly for nearly 2 months (I talked about him on FDS before). He did pay for food and initiated physical touch but when it comes down to it, he was only casually dating people to figure out what he liked or didn’t liked in a partner.

In conclusion, it’s just an illusion and most men are the same... 😒

liondale · 2020-10-15T07:17:32+00:00

Hahahaha.... No

RisingQueenx · 2020-10-15T09:05:46+00:00

UK woman here.

The men are trash here too. I always get messages from people wanting to 'debate' me on my views. Which means to just tell me I'm wrong and send me hate.

They take photos in dirty mirrors or when they're half naked in bed, stupid low angles and dead eye no smiles.

All their profiles say something like "Am I the one you're looking for?" Or "Just ask". I filled in a section on my profile for conversation starters, literally doing the work for them, and what do I get? "Hi how r u? xxx" So on dating apps they're pretty lazy.

FWB is definitely a thing here, but they tend to just hook up and ghost most times. Hook up culture is big, especially in my city which is known for being a party town really.

It's rare I see a well dressed, financially stable, true gentleman. When I do they're always older than men, and the age gap is a red flag so I avoid.

The older men on apps always reduce their age too. They'll be 49 but "oops, my age is accidently 31 and I don't know how to change it". Balding, minimum wage jobs, no goals, and a couple of children with his exes that he rarely sees.

There are gentleman here...but they're hard to find sadly.

straighthairgreece · 2020-10-14T18:18:34+00:00

Western born ad raised men are the same everywhere. If you want a completely different experience, date non-western men or men that are recent immigrants ( anywhere from Brazil to Russia to Singapore etc). I had better experience with immigrants than Western men but that could be just me.

goatismycopilot · 2020-10-16T12:50:48+00:00

American men are usually morons. Canadian men are cheap and passive. Most British men seen condescending. South American men seem sexist but sometimes dress okay. Euro men usually dress a bit better. German and Dutch men seem to have the personalities of rocks. I cannot say much about other Euro men not been friends with or dated one.

redfarmmmmm · 2020-10-15T02:32:36+00:00

I’m east asian and yes US men are the worst. British men are less worse than US men. So with US men, i dont even try to be nice, i stay really passive as possible and dont even talk much. U S men and culture is really toxix and first i coudlnt get why guys complained of singlemoms as theres not many in nyc, but i could see why after seeing tv shows. Also dont expect US men to age like wine unless he has $$. Even in nyc, i only date east asians or EU expats who are good looking.

British men are better looking and more mannered but still not good in my standards. If i date british, i usually date guys who went to oxbridge or LSE or other well known schools. But i’ve been treated way better in UK as i was more slim and always put my best self. I used to not date guys who lived outside of zone2. And no i’ll never date a guy who was raised in slums in London.

So i only dated guys in central london as most of UK friends were either rich chinese, rich EU and brits.

In my expeirnece, east asian men i dated were the best as they always bought me gifts, literally all went to top schools as we emphasize education and well mannered. But bear in mind, asian guys put alot of emphasis on looks so when i dated my bf, i always dolled up.

My standards of dating east asian and non east asian are very different. Regarding non east asian i put more importance on their education and looks as lot of them lack manners and social intelligence along with coming from abusive and single parent household. In korea, lot of guys i met were at least socially smart if the guy didnt go to good schools but in US you’ll be meeting literally low quality guy who doesn’t have any manners and have intelligence that of a bird.

I also would ask private detective to go for his background check if i were to marry non east asian.

And i dont believe in FWB, in korea we usually think western white girls are easy and i’m sure its due to the fact that when white couples date each other, guys dont take it seriously and they have more fwb thing going on.

Fwb is same as being free prostitute. Do you really want to give your body to some 6ft under beer belly or chubby white american men? 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

I also never understood the hype of hollywood actors such as brad pitt or other american actors as i only prefer tall and skinny men. But mose US men are too fat for my taste.

Also keep in mind, LVMs think all east asian women would ope legs to white guys.

Yeah make sense when i went to much better school and make more money than what you could ever make.

If a white guy negs you or gives you sexual submissive asian stereotype, give him fake address and ghost. I had few guys on tinder asking for hookup ans how they wanted to sleep with asian, and i usually give them fake address far from where they live and block them at the very last moment. Even if i do meet them, tell them you’re local. Or tell him you’re not the good looking kind of whites. I usually sexually stereotype them as much as i can as US men arent good looking.

I lived in Uk and now living in the states, in Uk, you have to be slim and if you’re well dressed i think its fine. Non of the guys suggested hookup but if they do, just ghost on them. I also only dated east asians and white british in Uk. Not a fan of indians even if theyre british born and raised.

howdoilogoutt · 2020-10-15T22:21:15+00:00

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO they are not, they're just as bad as all the rest.

SuitablePerformance3 · 2020-10-16T00:53:55+00:00

I think Jordey Shore really shatter that illusion, plus any other "reality" show. Men are the same everywhere you go because patriarchy exist everywhere. I think people get taken in by the romance of the accent and what they see portrayed in movies but that's not reality, in any way.

prettyexcitingnews · 2020-12-07T14:30:13+00:00

Oh the worst fuckbois (plural!) I’ve ever met in my life are brit men 💀

Title	are British men actually gentlemen?
Author	voodo2020
Upvotes	67
Comments	114
Date	October 14, 2020 4:40 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jb48s8/are_british_men_actually_gentlemen/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/are-british-men-actually-gentlemen.323157 https://theredarchive.com/post/323157

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