How come women do not like emotional men but at the same time call emotionless men “dull and boring”?

Sid_Insidious · 2020-12-23T07:04:02+00:00

Women do not like VULNERABLE men.

Emotionless men are not dull and boring.

Men who are not DANGEROUS (or at least *unavailable*) are dull and boring.

Atlas__B__Shruggin · 2020-12-23T03:27:54+00:00

women like passionate exciting emotions, not woe-is-me loser emotions

Bandit174 · 2020-12-23T02:35:59+00:00

They just don't want a guy who is sad, anxious or insecure. Happiness, passion and even ocassionally anger can be attractive tho.

2020-12-23T04:45:51+00:00

If you were good looking enough she'd consider you "mysterious". And be all about it.

In most cases the answer to doing better with women is become more attractive.

beyond_relevant · 2020-12-23T02:25:26+00:00

You forget that women are hypergamous.

Women want men to open up, but they want men to only have the right emotions to open up about. Sadness is for losers.

Oh, what? You expected truth from the gender that has literally evolved social cues like virtue signaling to survive?

Remember, women avoid confrontations, especially if it puts them in a bad light.

This emotional labour nonsense is just character assasination where a given woman paints the man in a bad light for having /wrong emotions/ - uNpAiD eMoTIonAl laBoUr which results, in comparison, with her looking like an innocent angel... despite her being the one who is ignoring his emotional needs.

Remember, whenever a woman criticizes a man "for not being man enough" it is a manipulation tactic where she is trying to leverage a given mans built in evolutionary expendability, to force him into something he doesnt want to do. ... all while painting herself as virtuous... despicable.

Yes im bitter.

JB8511R · 2020-12-23T05:07:44+00:00

Because women don’t know what they want, or at least can’t verbalise it. So they throw out random inconsistencies

AnarchoNAP · 2020-12-23T02:21:54+00:00

“How come I can’t be a whiney bitch if I have to have an actual personality?”

Like, idk how else to explain this.

anomanderforPOTUS · 2020-12-23T02:20:22+00:00

I'm emotional and women always seem to find it refreshing. Now I'm not trying to have sex with them either.

But my wife really enjoys me being emotional.

What is wrong with being emotional?

Cimorene86 · 2020-12-23T02:09:07+00:00

Going from the extreme of emotionless stoic zombie to the opposite extreme of so emotional you're wearing every mood directly on your sleeve does have a happy medium, y'know.

Just be a normal human with standard emotions. Surely it isn't difficult to do, it should be your default, or close to it.

extrachromozomes · 2020-12-23T02:03:16+00:00

You’re probably just dull and boring and not smiling the whole time cemented that idea for her

cunningcaring · 2020-12-23T03:08:49+00:00

The stuff posted here is unbelievable.

CanisLupisAutism · 2020-12-23T02:22:50+00:00

[deleted]

methamphetamile · 2020-12-23T02:06:08+00:00

Nobody said women didn’t like emotional men. Women are not a mass of hive mind drones. Each one is a unique individual with different likes and dislikes, just like men. I shouldn’t have to tell you this.

Aaren_Augustine · 2020-12-23T02:06:30+00:00

You have to illicit feelings within her to find you interesting. Yes, that means be entertaining. No, don't be a clapping fucking monkey.

Try to just be stoic when there's a "crisis".

Also, try to do a little more homework if you want to understand women better.

xFallacyx69 · 2020-12-23T03:53:52+00:00

Why would you ever listen to a woman about how to attract women? Just watch what they do. Women lie, men lie, actions don’t.

DLifts777 · 2020-12-23T12:03:45+00:00

Because again, it’s not about the emotion itself, it’s about the perception of the individual.

If a perceived hot confident guy is quiet, then it’s ‘strong and silent’, ‘quietly confident’, ‘brooding’, ‘mysterious’, if he’s ugly then he’s ‘dull and boring’.

Similarly a perceived hot guy who is very emotive is ‘passionate’, ‘expressive’, ‘not scared to show vulnerability’, if he’s ugly its ‘weak’, ‘effeminate’ etc.

It’s similar with words, one person could say the exact same words as another person does, but they can be interpreted incredibly different.

People are always looking to fit your actions and words to the perception they have of you. Quite often they will use them to support their idea of you.

Maude2010 · 2020-12-23T02:12:28+00:00

I wouldn’t say that women don’t like emotional men. But even if they did, it doesn’t mean they want some robotic weirdo who never smiles.

Mimoxs · 2020-12-23T03:06:00+00:00

There is a very large distance between stoic brick wall and overemotional manchild.

SaBahRub · 2020-12-23T02:03:09+00:00

Because women can be as dumb as men? They want “positive” emotions and not “negative” emotions, but don’t bother to specify this

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cromulent_weasel · 2020-12-23T04:25:53+00:00

It's like using your legs for walking. Women don't men who stand there like frozen statues, but they also don't like men who flail their feet on the ground having a tantrum.

Being athletic and coordinated is a plus though.

jdobrila · 2020-12-23T04:36:00+00:00

Wrong emotions.

Women don't like feminine men.

This can mean a crying bitch, or a passive bitch.

Throughawayman80808 · 2020-12-23T14:48:17+00:00

Women auto correct in their brain "sensitive" to mean "sensitive to my feelings" rather than the man himself being vulnerable.

roundabout44 · 2020-12-23T16:43:18+00:00

Women, as usual, want only the good stuff and don't want the bad stuff, yet frame it all in on basket. (Think equality).

They want the tingly good emotions, happiness, passion, anger even. They don't want most of the other stuff.

Whenever you hear that "women don't want something" or "want something" make sure to dive deep and just find which parts of it they want / don't because that's how it works. There. Mysterious whamen cracked.

richlad · 2020-12-24T03:46:38+00:00

It's different

When women say they don't like boring or dull men. It's usually, "He wasn't excited to give me present or take me to some expensive place". The emotions you must express here are "eager/excited to spend money on her", "eager to take her to adventure", "eager to laugh on her bad jokes and not make her feel dumb by acting blank"

And when women say they hate emotional men is when he complains how his boss's behaviour wants to make him give up his job and go into exile on some distant island. This is called "becoming a loser in female lingo".

So be very vary of it. It's not that women do not want men to express any emotions, they want emotions which are favourable to them and add to their positive emotion position.

This is also why a lot of women end up with closet soft drug addicts, women are attracted to him feeling high all time, when it turns out he was always on amphetamine or smth.

rivertorain- · 2020-12-23T02:15:12+00:00

Personally, I think she could read that you were putting on an act. That comes across as more cringey than a guy who is “excited or desperate”.

Plus honestly, I want to say that 90% of men are playing exactly the same game you are. Stoicism was an ideal set by men, not women. There is a reason why a lot of philosophers were incels.

stephker3914 · 2020-12-23T02:14:29+00:00

Just an idea, but maybe women do not like stoic men who are faking it. You have to keep in mind women are pretty good people readers compared to men. I think it's a possibility that she noticed you were trying to hold it in. That's a turn off for women because it's dishonest in a way that makes you seem desperate to get in her pants. Now, if you didn't want to get in her pants, you wouldn't have attempted to hold your emotions in, and this would've allowed you to be more natural, also letting the woman know that she would have to put some effort in to get your attention. Women do not like emotional men, but you have to be more descriptive when you ask this question. The truth is, women do not like overly emotional men, and they also do not like emotionless men, because they are dull, boring, and almost come across to them as a creepy psychopath. I know, it's tricky, just be yourself, but at the same time, don't throw a bitch fit in the middle of Starbucks if the barista fucks up your order.

thetruthishere_ · 2020-12-23T02:50:27+00:00

People in general dont do well with more needy emotional balls. There is a difference in having healthy balanced emotions over being cold or too emotional.

You acted fake and look what it got you. You're a 'dull boring emotionless person with no smile'.

What gives is you faked it.

2020-12-23T03:18:12+00:00

Because people (usually) don’t know what they really want.

TheMailmanic · 2020-12-23T03:46:40+00:00

There's a difference between being 'emotional' as a man and being able to do the push/ pull type of playfulness that women live

NarniaFox · 2020-12-23T04:37:47+00:00

Dude, this stuff about being emotionless is bullshit and it also doesn't lead to healthy relationships. Maybe if a girl is into this you'd be able to get sex, but if you want an LTR, this is just a recipe for disaster.

If you find anyone attracted to this, you have really high chances them to resent you when you stop playing. And you will at some point, because every person has their breaking point. And them being resentful will make you sure that this shit is correct, so you will be repressing your emotions even further and you will break again...and here is the vicious circle for you.

throw-away-1709 · 2020-12-23T08:59:41+00:00

"Trying to be stoic" smells like cooked shit to a woman.

To have her emotions run to the point where she is "all feelings" and can give in into make up sex you have to be stoic from experience since long.

Then you can let her do the 'drama kween play' and lead her.

rft24 · 2020-12-23T12:09:12+00:00

obviously these are not the same groups of women lmao

acron5n5 · 2020-12-23T13:24:54+00:00

There are acceptable emotions and unacceptable ones.

wtknight · 2020-12-23T13:41:29+00:00

People don't want food that is either too hot or too cold. Most women don't want men who are either too emotional or not emotional enough.

Workaholiconew · 2020-12-23T21:59:01+00:00

Women do not want emotional men. they want men of action. Your emotions do not matter, and if anything are counter productive. Do not take women's words for it, take their behavior in consideration and only their behavior.

cloudsongs_ · 2020-12-24T15:56:54+00:00

I've never heard a woman say she doesn't like emotional men. In fact, most women I've talked to about men say that their ideal man is someone who can freely talk about his feelings with her.

LooseIndication · 2020-12-24T19:00:14+00:00

What it means is that women do not like needy men. "Emotional men" means "needy".

But it is necessary to use emotions to arouse a woman. A man without emotions can't arouse a woman.

The confusion comes from a problem with English language, which is incompetent, by using the same words for different concepts.

There are different emotions. Some are good, and some are bad.

The correct way to talk is: women do not like men with low value emotions, and are aroused by men with high value emotions.

mistresswhat · 2020-12-24T20:33:37+00:00

There's a difference between being "emotionless" and crying about all your problems.

I was with this girl trying to be as stoic as possible and trying not to make it seem like I was excited or desperate as I thought by doing so will show her I’m a high value man. I even refrained from smiling through out the whole date and only smiled if she or I cracked a joke.

Lmao this is the dumbest way to date I can possibly imagine.

Brainless-Wonder · 2020-12-25T19:58:38+00:00

Well come on man, don’t be a statue! I think that’s what put her off. I’m sorry, don’t want to add insult to injury but be yourself next time.

I’ve always maintained that “being vulnerable” is shitty advice that doesn’t work. It’s the age-old adage that women claim to want men who are more open about their emotions, but go cry in front of your girl and see how much longer you two last. It sucks, but there really are certain emotions you should keep to yourself for a while. Most women simply aren’t that open-minded or ready to handle that, even if they find you attractive and fun to be around.

I think being vulnerable is more about being your genuine self without fearing she’ll be put off by interests or perspectives you have as opposed to “showing emotionality,” which is often misinterpreted as “dump your emotions and problems on her.” Women like when you’re passionate and knowledgeable about something you’re interested in, and unafraid to express that. Don’t prioritize being “vulnerable” because it’s a shitty vague concept that’s easily misinterpreted, prioritize not being boring or an overt sad sack.

The_Legend_of_Jaelon · 2020-12-26T08:07:30+00:00

I’d say this is an example of women promoting toxic masculinity tbh. It ends up being one of those cases where the only emotions the guy ends up being able to show is anger or whatever emotion is deemed “masculine” and I didn’t realize this until it was too late. Whenever I actually tried to open up and connect with the girls who complained I “only hit them up when I was horny” I almost always got left on read.

DicamVeritatem · 2020-12-23T02:11:49+00:00

First of all, never believe her reason for why she wasn’t interested. Women will seldom tell you the real reason anyway.

Hoopy223 · 2020-12-23T03:11:58+00:00

Women don’t know what they want.

Expensive-Guitar3609 · 2020-12-23T02:40:39+00:00

Trying to be "stoic" to impress a woman?

What the fuck is wrong with you man? Do you at least have googled the term "stoicism"?

I'll explain to you, women LOVE stoic men, thing is being stoic is not about holding your breathe to pretend you are not human.

Next time you want to impress a woman with your "stoicism" act the way you fucking want and keep in mind that stoic men don't give a fuck what other people think about them, specially women.

Women love you not giving a fuck about them. I don't know, instead of "hey nice dress... Which designer is?" try something like "I saw your pick and fell so in love with your eyes that I didn't realized you had such beautiful tits bro"

wekacuck · 2020-12-23T02:07:16+00:00

The answer is that the emotions that get packaged into the "emotional men" they like vs the ones they don't like are different emotions.

Generally my theory is that women like to know what's going on but they don't want to be responsible for it. The "emotional men" they don't like place burdens on them. The "unemotional men" they don't like are complete puzzle boxes and they can't figure out what's going on or whether things are "ok" or not.

bronzeageretard · 2020-12-23T02:06:49+00:00

Because most women don’t have standards at all

Title	How come women do not like emotional men but at the same time call emotionless men “dull and boring”?
Author	Mayhem977
Upvotes	21
Comments	103
Date	December 23, 2020 2:01 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/kijm02/how_come_women_do_not_like_emotional_men_but_at/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-come-women-do-not-like-emotional-men-but-at.737916 https://theredarchive.com/post/737916

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