[Q4ALL] Do you think you have lived up to your full dating potential?

passepar2t · 2021-04-19T14:01:13+00:00

Hell no. If I hadn't had those long stretches of barely having the willpower to get out of bed and drag myself to work without deepthroating a shotgun, I'd have had a lot more dating potential.

wtknight · 2021-04-19T14:04:59+00:00

No. It's not really worth it to go after the best western women if one is an average guy. It's just too much work. In the end, I was a lot more successful with women from non-western countries. In my mind, the cost-benefit ratio is better, which is what is most important, not trying to live up to one's full potential.

rft24 · 2021-04-19T14:34:54+00:00

yeah. i’m in a ltr and i have no serious complaints, he’s the kind of guy i’ve always wanted. from the way things are looking now, we’re in it for the long haul.

could i do better? i honestly don’t think there’s a person who’s better for me. sure, he might look “better” on paper; but that doesn’t mean he’s a better partner for me than my bf.

i’ll never understand the concept of always wanting more and more, to the point of always wondering if you could do better and never truly allowing yourself to be satisfied. it’s unrealistic, and i honestly think it’s ungrateful. it’s fair if you feel like you never really used your potential, but i’m talking about people who have had success and still want more.

reluctantly_red · 2021-04-19T14:02:37+00:00

NO!!! For the longest time, I didn't appreciate just how important looks are. I always knew they were important but I didn't realize they're 99% of the game. I'm fortunate to be very tall and not ugly. However, I've struggled with my weight since I was a fat kid in elementary school. If I'd been black-pilled earlier I would have put a lot more effort into staying lean.

alberto-hoff · 2021-04-19T14:56:18+00:00

Fortunately it's one of the few areas of life I thrive in, lol.

I've always found it incredibly easy to date and have consistently had a satisfactory sex life since I was about 18.

When it comes to relationships and my social life - things are great.

Where I fail at life is when it comes to finances and my career. So don't ask me about that, lol.

philomexa · 2021-04-19T15:48:42+00:00

Sure I guess; I never struggled with dating, left wanting, or felt like I had to settle. I snagged the man I desired and now we're married, have a kid, and life is good.

I don't really believe in 'doing better' because everyone sucks in their own way. Happiness is acclimating to a more tolerable form of bullshit. And we're all full of bullshit.

Creation_Soul · 2021-04-19T14:07:51+00:00

I would say I have. I know my limitation ins terms of dating (I used to have the personality of a potato) and once I improved on my shortcomings, I had somewhat good dating success.

it just happened that I met my wife as the third person into this "good dating success" process and didn't feel the need to break it off so I could see if I could get someone better.

PMmeareasontolive · 2021-04-19T15:56:26+00:00

but he can get WAY better girls.

That's kinda weird. How is one girl gonna be better than another. She means looks I guess, but guys don't just go for the best looking woman they can get. They go for the best looking woman they can get who they can stand to be with. This sub puts way too much emphasis on the former and tends to overlook the latter.

Given the above, I don't think of any of the women I've dated as better or WAY better than each other. They all met the preliminary threshold for appearance, and from that point it was how well we worked together. Is this that foreign a concept?

So, given that now, I am happy with the women I've dated in terms of appearance, which this question seems to be about. But I always thought I'd meet that person who I mystically magically fell in love with, and it would be effortlessly intuitive, etc., and that didn't happen, but I've come to accept that as the fairy tale that it is.

2021-04-19T17:26:35+00:00

No. Like the taylor swift lyric being a loving person and trying to date men is like driving a brand new maserati down a dead end street.

AutoModerator · 2021-04-19T13:58:28+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

_lemazaki · 2021-04-19T14:02:51+00:00

I am 32.Reach some kink of peak at 22y and married.

Now I am divorced but my SMV went down last couple years. I faced several problems in my life and did not take care of myself.

Now I am getting better and I am curious to see if I can make a higher top in the next few years.

WestsideMoonWalker · 2021-04-19T16:09:14+00:00

Maybe, maybe not. Can't really say. My partner is absolutely delightful though. I also have not actively dated since I've been in an LTR for the better part of the last decade. I definitely think I am much closer to my (overall) potential now than I was when I first met my girlfriend, but..... I was also 18 then, so it's not really an even comparison.

Now.... have I fulfilled my potential within my relationship? More or less, but there's always room for growth.

Sid_Insidious · 2021-04-19T16:19:03+00:00

Pre-marriage I think I was quite successful. I was either having one nighters or casual sex betwen relationships, and no shortage of LTRs. I had sex with over 40 different women before I met my now ex-wife. I'd call perhaps 6 or 7 of those women girlfriends. Generally I was pretty happy with the women I would sleep with.

POST marriage, I don't think I've lived up to my "full dating potential" at all. I am putting zero effort into dating, Hell, I'm not even putting effort into being dateABLE. lol.

Funny thing I never thought I would be an asexual person.

usedtimecapsule · 2021-04-19T20:20:17+00:00

I have never had a girlfriend so no.

analt223 · 2021-04-19T14:30:09+00:00

itt: the girls say maybe or yes, the guys all say no.

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-04-19T14:22:43+00:00

At the end of the day, do you believe you are as successful in dating(whatever that is to you) as you should be?

Been with my wife for 30 years this year so yea?

My dating potential was fine.

I think you are asking did you bag the best person possible? Or is it get laid the most?

If a guy is shy and has low self esteem thats part of his potential as much as an less attractive but confident out going guy does "better".

Could I have had more sex, or hottier women, or "better"? Maybe, there are after all 7 billion people on earth, we both probably could have done better, but IMO we probably would have done worse.

NarniaFox · 2021-04-19T14:09:55+00:00

Yep. I got married to my husband, who is one of the best people I've ever known. There's nothing I'd like to change in my dating history or that I really could change back then. Nowadays I try to be a better wife for my husband and that's pretty much all my dating potential.

michael1962-01 · 2021-04-19T14:35:16+00:00

No.

But all is perfect as it is

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-04-19T14:36:02+00:00

Nope. I could have taken many opportunities in my life but I just chose not to because they weren't what I wanted. I've also not really been interested in dating so if I put in more effort, I probably would not be single right now, but then I'd just be like everyone else.

Kalvaire · 2021-04-19T14:48:40+00:00

Obviously not with my celibate ass

Goodthingstartssmall · 2021-04-19T15:43:26+00:00

Not even close. Horrendous individual shaped effort years long and a change in Lifestyle and barely got anything. Regarding quantity i failed but regarding quality i succeed.

Ladyofblades · 2021-04-19T15:49:21+00:00

I have done much better than I expected, but I really didn’t set out to do so since I was anti-marriage, anti-kids since I was very young. Being an individualist born to a religious culture fanatic about baby making will do that to you

I didn’t do much “guy hunting” since I was too busy trying to get my career and life in order. I did not know what to expect of men or relationships and was very naive, but looking back I did better objectively by most measures when I learned how to best present myself. With some guys I got some bad apples whom I thought were high value. Only one guy both presented as and was LVM. Wasted time with that one which made me have the standards I have today.

Could I do better than my current partner? In terms of some qualities yes, but he wouldn’t likely have the chemistry or connection we have. I’ve been very lucky to find that in a quality partner.

Simple-Craft-9577 · 2021-04-19T16:00:42+00:00

I stunted most of my potential chasing the wrong things. Grew up being conditioned by movies and books about what love is. Chased that for the longest and hence didn’t explore my dating and sexuality perspective enough. Eventually when I realized the truth, I started changing my stance and approach and got more “tangible success”. But sometimes I feel that the formative dating years of my life ended up being wasted and also instilled some deep rooted notions in my head about love, that I still sometimes struggle to ditch.

FreierSteinkopf · 2021-04-19T16:06:57+00:00

No, I am trying to get their till next year.

2021-04-19T16:07:28+00:00

Well I’m happily married to my perfect man so I’d say fairly successful

cowfishAreReal · 2021-04-19T16:23:19+00:00

Yes. Im totally satisfied with the partner I have now. And amount of partners is something I don't care about, I have no intention on attracting the biggest amount of people, I want to live how I like and have someone that wants to do the same

iamthemovie1992 · 2021-04-19T16:29:08+00:00

I think honestly I have, because I have thrown tons of effort into it. Granted I still couldn’t get the casual sex I wanted, but I can at least I say I tried

Pilling_it · 2021-04-19T16:58:22+00:00

Probably could do a lot more, but diminishing returns dictate that I'm at where I should be now.

SaBahRub · 2021-04-19T17:00:09+00:00

Yes

One good one is plenty, thanks; I don’t need another

bowserfire73 · 2021-04-19T17:14:57+00:00

I feel like if other people were delt the same cards as me I would have fared better than most. Without something exceptional happening to me like getting rich I don't think there is room for much improvement.

NeonGyllenhaal · 2021-04-19T17:17:26+00:00

I’m a college-aged woman and I’d say I’m exactly where I want to be dating-wise. I’m a complete catch, but dating also isn’t a competition; it’s just waiting until you find someone you’re compatible with. As far as hookups go, I’m definitely good at getting what I want.

Rarely_Online · 2021-04-19T17:34:59+00:00

I don't think so. Then again, I don't really experience romantic attraction to begin with, so that's not much of a big deal.

S0mnariumx · 2021-04-19T19:13:40+00:00

Not really. I've had sex 7 women and 1 trans woman. A few relationships but the only really attractive one was the worst gf considerably. I've asked out a ton of chicks with little success but unfortunately when I was getting the hang of dating I got stuck in an abusive relationship.

The dating scene sure went to shit in those 3 years and it didn't help I was badly traumatized.

AreOut · 2021-04-19T19:31:33+00:00

nope, need to shed another 5% of bf

btw why would people downvote this thread ffs

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-04-19T20:31:57+00:00

I've never thought about it like this, good question , I guess it would depend on what one would describe as potential, I'm 35, I've had a little over 30 sexual partners, which I'm sure is better than average, a mix of attractiveness in there, I've been with some girls that are fours and fives, I've been with some that were 8s and up

I swore off marriage a long time ago so that's not a goal of mine, I don't know if that rules me out on the potential thing, I've only had one serious relationship, and I guess I would say two pseudo serious-ish relationships, each of them being kind of a unique circumstance, but I like to have flings and stay and play as opposed to one night stands, I like intimacy and all that but without the actual confines and commitment of a true relationship.

So I would say I've lived up to my potential 95% of the time lol

friendlyfun147 · 2021-04-19T20:34:09+00:00

Too skinny

That said I went from hugless kissless virgin on my 19th birthday to somebody who has had multiple gf and hooked up with several girls and had several fwb.

Turned out I was pretty attractive, over six feet. I was just super shy and awkward and with low self esteem

However, like I said, skinny. I need to get more fit, I was on a solid gym routine but the covid . Fucked up lockdowns in canada including gym closures. More muscular than ever before but home workouts just don't make up for the gym.

And I need better old profile pics. My dating experience is already alot better than most guys my age but I think I can still achieve an even higher level of success if I put more work into it.

sismetic · 2021-04-19T20:57:16+00:00

In no way. I am a very attractive man. To whichever party I go I always attract someone. I also make good money, I am a writer, I can make friends easily. My ceiling is high. I've had sex with 50-100 women, but if I made "dating" my priority I could probably reach 200+ in 2-3 years. Most women I meet tell me I am probably dating 20 other women. I can be interesting and smooth. I don't mean this to brag(no bragging points count on the internet). I am just not that interested in dating.

I have sex, and then what? The sex itself is not mind-numbing for me, it is a good thing but I prefer the emotional aspect. At times it is even tiresome and I prefer other things. One also cannot have too many emotional attachments to many people. If there is too much attachment then there's always a form of heartbreak for either or.

The notion of getting as high a count as possible has to do with a sex obsession prevalent especially in the US that is toxic and harmful to both sexes and usually begins prior to having sex. Sex is set as the highest possible ceiling, but it is only important for sex-depraved people. Seducing is fun but it's mostly ego-based. Something that took me a while to understand. I wish I could go back in time and have a much lower count. Sex for me is having an itch that one cannot scratch, it is always a letdown.

rosesonthefloor · 2021-04-19T22:03:14+00:00

No. If I worked out more often and out effort into more than one conversation with one person at one time, I’d probably do a lot better.

Trouble is, my type is hard to find, so it’s a slog to find a good match no matter how you cut it.

gunbusterxl · 2021-04-19T23:02:44+00:00

No. What little free time I have gets used for ME, not potential partners. I hate people too much to date anyway. Even my closest friends think I'm a prick. Not sure who'd want to date that.

SherbertBacon · 2021-04-19T23:19:30+00:00

At the end of the day, do you believe you are as successful in dating(whatever that is to you) as you should be?

I've glowed-up about as far as any man can.

Have you reached your ceiling?

No but the further improvements will just come with experience. In time I'll have more assets, more life experience, and a wider pool to date from as I go into mid-thirties.

Could you do better?

Red pillers might think so since I don't really take advantage of the readily available casual sex opportunities in my life. But I don't want that so I don't care.

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-04-19T23:42:18+00:00

No. If I could’ve afforded a rhinoplasty and boob job and learned better social skills, I’m sure I would’ve had far more options with dating. I’m happy in my relationship, though I still want to save for surgery and improve social skills to improve attraction in our relationship and make more friends.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-04-20T00:39:47+00:00

I'm engaged to my dream guy, so I'd say I've done the best I could.

LMM-GT02 · 2021-04-20T01:39:40+00:00

My world when I was in grade school: “The girls are gonna literally chase you bro.”

And they did

My world when I was not in grade school: “Bitch whatchu think gon happen being that fuckin’ short?”

And now I stare into the void and it talks back. “You are only valued for what you do for others.”

CandleLess · 2021-04-20T04:07:02+00:00

Nah. I could definitely lose some weight and I kinda am like your friend in that I don't shoot my shot with hot girls much

Carkudo · 2021-04-20T06:39:41+00:00

By all reasonable predictions, I should have been a lifelong incel. Instead I managed to bump into that one unicorn, marry her and then divorce. So yeah, as far realising my potential goes, I think I did very good.

Spacechichen_1990 · 2021-04-20T07:38:55+00:00

No. You can ALWAYS improve. Always.

I’m still too fat to live up to my exact potential and I can still improve my charisma

Far-Touch-6370 · 2021-04-20T12:55:01+00:00

Hell no, Im sacrificing my 20s for a degree 😂. If I did, I’d like a per female. No body would respect me if I dated a athlete, so I avoid dating so I’m not label weak. Some of us females don’t want to be under a mans thumb

superlurkage · 2021-04-20T17:17:11+00:00

Yes, I’m all good

Ghost_Hound · 2021-04-21T07:16:22+00:00

Honestly, I feel I exceeded my potential as it stands on paper pretty consistently. My dating history seems more blessed than it should have been for someone who has some of the drawbacks I do according to some of the more blackpilled people out there.

_Neon_Shadow_ · 2021-04-25T09:09:07+00:00

Not even close.

Title	[Q4ALL] Do you think you have lived up to your full dating potential?
Author	MasterTeacher123
Upvotes	0
Comments	100
Date	April 19, 2021 1:58 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/mu16ej/q4all_do_you_think_you_have_lived_up_to_your_full/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-do-you-think-you-have-lived-up-to-your-full.762536 https://theredarchive.com/post/762536

Comments