EXPLAINING WHY 50/50 IS BAD FOR YOUNGER GENERATION OF WOMEN (TEENS)

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-06-28T15:20:55+00:00

What you said and:

•Men appreciate what they invest in

•women make less, spend more getting ready, put in more time

•we vet for generocity

•its his job to prove himself to her, watch matting dances of birds of paradise, or documentaries about it. The men do everything

•because a man knows what is expected of him and when he really likes a woman he does it

•He will work to impress her. It's one of the first ways to vet a man for genuine interest

•It deters men just looking for sex or a woman to be his girlfriend for girlfriend benefits/domestic duties (cooking, cleaning, love, support, free therapy, easy available sex on demand)

One of our members u/saynad recently wrote a whole series on this topic. I highly recommend reading it.

bearwithday · 2021-06-28T19:07:14+00:00

I learned it in a hard way. I did 70/30(me 70) with my ex, supported him through school. I knew he was in student debt at the time, and I was working so I was okay with it. Whoever has money pays, as long as you love each other right? lol. I thought he would reward me later, once he is out of school. Well surprise surprise. He broke up with me shortly after he finished his school and got a job. Then I learned from a friend that he asked our mutual friend out and spoiled her with gifts and dinners to impress her. It really crushed me. He just never valued me.

Now I never do 50/50, let alone 70/30(that was really stupid). My current boyfriend is very generous and happy to impress me. He appreciates me and treat me so well compare to any of the guys I went 50/50 with. Don't do 50/50.

sewingmachinesavior · 2021-06-28T19:54:48+00:00

I like to say I’ll pay 50% when men are doing 50% of housework and childcare AS A SOCIETY.

I think it’s pretty easy to find a study that shows women do a VAST majority of that, and show how unbalanced it is if a woman pays half the bills and STILL does all the child/home care.

CloacaDiddler · 2021-06-28T17:28:15+00:00

Imagine paying for the fashionable clothes, flattering haircut and products, bras, heels, perfume, makeup, while probably working hard at a job that doesn’t value you, to split hairs over a bill with a guy you’re supposed to go have unsatisfying and possibly dangerous sex with after. Young girls are growing up with bad standards yikes.

When the guy rolls out of bed in a wrinkled old t-shirt, considers a spritz of axe, and enjoys the company of a pretty and educated woman who pays half and is going to fuck him and leave him happy as punch with absolutely no effort on his part for any of he process. While he’s probably cheating on his long term partner. So disrespectful. It shouldn’t be the norm to pay or put out for people who don’t deserve it.

Edit: no it makes me even madder because if you’re going to pay to take yourself out, shouldn’t women get literally something out of the deal? Bad sex, bad company, bad odor from the partner, danger, time out of the day ughh not worth it

thatjimmylove · 2021-06-28T15:31:36+00:00

I never want to be in a relationship where money feels hostile and a point of tension, When a man is courting you he should be HAPPY to take you out and have a nice time which obviously requires money. Obviously people have different Ideas of what is a good time and acceptable but stinginess is an annoying and awkward quality.

Watzoo · 2021-06-28T16:11:27+00:00

I think the big take away is that most men see women as natural resources, not as people. You can do whatever you want, and these guys will find a way to exploit it to their benefit. Be financially independent? They’ll exploit the cash. Make them pay? They’ll demand payment in other forms.

Protect yourself - I’m 100% aligned with you there.

I’d add to younger women that you can’t strategize a man into treating you well. He either sees you as a human (so you can have a normal peer relationship) or he sees women as a natural resource, and will feel entitled to benefit from your presence in any manner he can manage. You may choose one path - and eliminate the men who aren’t flexible enough to exploit it - but you still aren’t safe if you’re not with a man who looks at women and sees actual people.

shljock · 2021-06-28T16:20:27+00:00

Many great comments already. I'd like to add if you as a couple decide to have a child it would be him contributing with 1 cell and you 100% creating that life /lives to viability, taking major if not life threatening toll on your health, career, other realtionships. How could a guy ever match that so that you are 50/50 unless treating you like a freaking apple of his eye and more?

08__80 · 2021-06-28T18:54:27+00:00

When men start putting on makeup and getting their hair and nails done and eyebrows waxed, and wearing tight clothes and special underwear to make their bulges and butts look nice and perky for us, and waxing their assholes just in case we feel like digging around back there, maybe then we can talk about going halfsies.

When men start to fear that we could just take them someplace and do whatever we want and get them pregnant, and they have to roll the dice each time and pray that it doesn't happen, and they have to text their friends every half hour to let them know that they are still safe, still alive, maybe then we can go halfsies.

When one word from us that whe pumped and dumped them ruins their entire reputation, maybe then we can go halfsies.

When we can use men like our emotional dumpster mommymaidprostitutes, and they will take our shit no matter how badly we abuse them because society tells them from birth that they are nothing without a girlfriend, that they are literally incomplete without us, maybe then we can go halfsies.

When I can burp and fart and sit around in shit stained underwear with my hairy legs and armpits playing video games while a man raises my kids, cleans my house, makes my food, and sucks my clit, maybe then we can go halfsies.

We are not equal.

AyemHerself · 2021-06-29T03:20:14+00:00

Here are the explanations that works best for me:

There are a lot of men out there who play the numbers when it comes to dating. They will go out with the women they can and filter them out later. Often they won't even vet at all, but opt to monkey branch and string along their dates until they find someone better. Their goal is to have something and keep "trading up" rather than spend time being single, because having a girlfriend means having access to steady sex/validation.

You don't want to date these types of men.

Because their strategy is to go for the cheapest dates possible (need to save money for the next one, after all), an effective filter is to expect your date to pick up the bill AND opt for something more substantial than a walk and a cup of coffee.

Next, there is an annoyingly persistent mentality that women must repay a man's attention with her body. Hence the idea that a woman going 50/50 makes her "independent" and means she no longer "owes" her date anything. If you think about it, this implies that your date values sex at about... $20? Give or take? You also don't want to date someone who thinks so casually of sex. So expecting him to pay will also filter out these types, OR tip you off to their mentality sooner.

Finally, it's good manners to pay for a date that you invite someone on. The handbook already lays out the reasons for why women shouldn't pursue men, which means it's going to be men who do the asking.

Hikari3747 · 2021-06-28T19:12:57+00:00

My mom and my sister were angry that I'm dating a guy with money. They called me a gold digger and I said bold men are supposed to provide and protect!

My sister who very independent like me said "you can make your money." I respond with "yeah I can and I do. That why I date rich men, it's because they have to add value to my life." I can support myself just fine, so why date a poor man who can't afford his own expenses?

My new flame is very happy to pay for dates. He enjoys going out and is happy that I'm an omnivort like him. I can literally leave my credit cards at home and not have to worry about anything.

Men invest in what they love, enjoy, and want in their lives. There no reason to pay for anything because invest in your beauty is very expensive and take a lot of time. They can return the favor by paying for everything else.

True-Audience-8258 · 2021-06-28T18:02:42+00:00

I don’t know if this resonates with anyone but I think of it like what many of our parents told us about safety: if you’re lost or in danger, don’t look for a man, find a woman or better yet a woman with kids. While it’s true that women are perfectly capable of doing harm, I trust the average woman stranger 100 times more than the average male stranger, and at the beginning of dating you’re strangers to each other. Not going 50/50 to me includes initiation, effort, and planning as well as paying for dates. When a man takes a woman out, he should be demonstrating that he can be of value, is a safe person, and values her enough not to screw her over or treat her with disrespect. This means paying for dates, but also planning where to go and treating the woman special. Because men hurt women in myriad ways far more often than the reverse, they need to prove that they are trustworthy partners. I am a bisexual woman and I do not hold women to the same standard for the exact same reasons: while a woman COULD harm me, it is far, far less likely and therefore I feel more comfortable showing her my effort, planning, and treatment way earlier than I would show a man the “benefits” of dating me. Hope that makes sense!

Jandi18 · 2021-06-28T19:10:57+00:00

Pre FDS I once went out with a guy that wanted 50/50…the meal was about $37 for us both. The waitress gave him a horrible look after he requested two checks. He apologized for asking for two checks and said he didn’t budget for the meal( this asshole asked me out and chose the restaurant).

I told him I was going to the restroom, walked out the door after paying my half and left him there( I drove us both there in my car). We live in a city where public transportation is shit and we were far from his place. He kept calling and calling I didn’t pick up. Even in the height of my pick me days I didn’t tolerate 50/50.

ChocolateBiscuit96 · 2021-06-29T00:07:07+00:00

50/50 is just low class and shows that the man isn’t trying to impress me. Two guys were literally going back and forth with me on Instagram this morning over this. I don’t care what a man’s standards are, if they don’t align with my standards then I’m gone.

Im not lowering my standards nor am I going to waver on my standards. Step up or get dropped. Next.

Human_Summer_1709 · 2021-06-28T18:20:49+00:00

The point about inherent inequity of women vs men in society is one thing.

But the more important point (in my opinion) is that you want to be with a man who LIKES YOU, WANTS TO BE WITH YOU, and MAKES AN EFFORT.

Even if men and women were truly 100% equal in society, a man who is truly interested in a woman and wants to make a good impression will always pay for her. Even if he doesn't make a lot of money, he will want to provide what he can for her. This isn't about him buying you $200 dinners on every date; if he doesn't make a lot but is interested in you he will buy you that ice cream cone, cover your lunch at a takeaway spot, etc. It is BIOLOGICALLY HARDWIRED INTO MEN'S BRAINS TO BE THE PROVIDER.

So if a man isn't making an effort to court a woman, he either isn't terribly interested in her and sees her as a "why not," he doesn't respect her (doesn't see her as a serious partner), and/or is truly too much of a wimp/limp wrist to be a man have control of his life and finances. If a man isn't making an effort and isn't paying for her, this is a TERRIBLE SIGN because it is an anomaly in terms of what his biological hardwiring is supposed to do.

You don't want a man who doesn't really like you all that much.

You also don't want a man who is too indecisive, passive, lazy, etc to be in control of his life to the point where he can spend money and time on the woman he is interested in.

elainejay82 · 2021-06-28T16:29:48+00:00

For that age, I would probably tell them we pay for tampons and bras and makeup (none of these items are cheap) and our haircuts are way more expensive. Also, purses! Men don't pay anywhere near the same as us to look decent and put together.

Then tell them to think of that over a lifetime. How much more comes out of our pockets to upkeep just our periods and looks?

Meanwhile men get 10 dollar haircuts and buy 5 dollar underwear, and they don't have to do nearly as much fashion-wise to look okay. Like if they have on a decent pair of jeans and a decent shirt and decent shoes, nobody bats an eye at them.

Also, just in general, if a guy really likes you he will do these things. If a guy is looking to use you or toy with you he will try to half it. He's not taking you seriously. It's a big sign you're being toyed with.

feelgoodlost_ · 2021-06-28T17:33:36+00:00

Your resources and contributions will be tied to the 50/50 scrote, you’ll end up working as the provider in some way 100% of your life while doing 100% of the emotional labor, raising the kids, and dealing with a LVM that won’t have qualms of wasting years of your life. 50:50 men are NOT providers. But with your help, they will be for the “young, attractive, gold digger” he traps with a baby but then makes her go to work as a provider, lifelong nurse for him and the kids, and your life of making him reach his dreams through your hard work and encouragement. Plus, you’ll hold down the house and work. Gotta be obedient tho. 🙄 Must be hot too, but if you have good self esteem and really are out of his league, he’ll do everything to make sure he changes your reality to no longer think this.

I had one 50:50 scrote try to bust out with this when I was clear from the start that I never would do this, much less an older man that out earns me and has properties. Think of you what you want cus you won’t get it from him, and you’ll be stretched so thin that you won’t be able to help yourself and your life will be dedicated to a man that NEEDS help and won’t even appreciate it. I legit had a scrote try to get me to hand myself into captivity and become barefoot and pregnant and keep me from my active lifestyle so soon. Lol These men will want you to tie your life to him to within a few months. The fake future that’s promised to you is based on your hard work, his current mantrums, and whatever side thing he does behind your back.

50 50 men talk about reality, reality is their scrote parallel universe. That place sucks! They use biology to excuse depravity and poor behavior. Yet, women wanting a financially stable provider that’s honest is asking for the impossible. It’s out there, that’s why they get mad you know real life HVM. They want everything from you in exchange of promises, future faking, and good intentions that aren’t even good. In what universe is reality where ugly, broke, manipulative scrotes get their 10 that is a rocket scientist with her own money she wants to give to him, is a therapist mommy bangmaid, and attracted to bare minimum (but only sometimes, usually only the beginning when he was doing everything to trap you), and a crappy personality that only gets crappier as time goes on? These are the men that will tell you that attractive men are all cheaters and they won’t want to deal with you. True story

Think of everything you want and what you’re asking from a man that can’t provide but wants complete creative control of your life in every respect. Keep in mind he dodges the responsibility he would take to provide. He will say he does everything, but he doesn’t, cus he stinks, is selfish, and can’t provide when your life is easier now than it’ll be down the line.

These fools want you to pay for them to waste your time as you improve their life. Always at a discount with these bottom of the barrel nincompoops. 🎪

tellmesomething11 · 2021-06-28T19:04:30+00:00

It’s also important to explain that as women, we don’t owe men an explanation or dialogue about how we should be treated. We aren’t here to teach men, we are here to find men who have taught themselves. And you can always role play.

with my daughters (10) I role play. We act out a scene and talk about it after. So I’ve acted out taking her out and not paying lol, I’ve even acted out possible toxic behaviors such as threatening or hitting. She responds and we discuss later. We also talk about blocking people and learning to be dismissive towards toxic friendships and relationships.
my niece (21) is older and she runs scenarios by me all the time. Like recently she talked about how she told a guy she wasn’t interested in him, but he continued to take her on dates and always paid. He then got mad and tried to bully her and say”well I always pay”. She enjoyed his company and was considering more, but was turned off by his comment and had responded, “ I told you I wasn’t interested.” I told her the correct response is “thank you for taking me out, I appreciated it.” She already explained she wasn’t interested, he needs to listen. And no man should be trying to bully you into a relationship. I told her to just ignore his calls, and now he’s calling and calling bc he wants to take her out.

Ironsculpture · 2021-06-28T18:44:30+00:00

It depends on the individual to understand such things, or rather, to have the willingness to pursue knowledge and understanding regarding systematic cultural misogyny and how to navigate dating men. Exposing your sisters to the concept is a good first step, but trying to teach them when they show no interest could unfortunately push them away.

It's sad, but if their pride and ego have been "beaten" out of them then it might take years for your sisters to regain them, and as such have the incentive to pursue their own interest and learn such things. I say this as a 20 y/o woman who has been talking about this with girls my age for years, the only times it turned out well were when the girl had developed similar opinions on her own beforehand. Otherwise they take it as an offence to their naive perspective, or view you as a "crazy feminist". Quite depressing.

Junior-Lion7893 · 2021-06-29T04:36:48+00:00

I had a guy who asked to do 50/50 on our second date. He painted me this rosy picture about how when I cook, he’ll do the dishes, and that we’ll take turns paying for meals. Or that he’s a big boy and he can do his own laundry when we live together. It’s obvious he’s projecting to try and make me agree to his 50/50 agenda. He threw in every argument FDS told me about! All these comments all solidify what my sister and I thought of the situation and that 50/50 is bullshit! Queens, never EVER do 50/50. You are not his his friends, you are his lover and you want to be treated as someone special. If he’s asking for 50/50 he clearly doesn’t want to impress you. He’s waiting for the next best available thing. And for that, you should RUN! Guys who throw the 50/50 propaganda towards you think you’re easy prey. Do not lower standards or guard for these men.

Also side note, in the FDS handbook, could someone point the part where they talk about 50/50 relationships? I’m having difficulty finding it. I want to review it again.

Thanks 😊

99power · 2021-06-28T16:19:00+00:00

Tell them this way: men will never menstruate or give birth, breast feed, or deal with constant threat of rape in general society. That’s what they pay for. All the labor and sacrifice that it takes for a woman to even get to this point. Don’t forget to mention the career sacrifices she may have to make it she wants kids. Men are biologically privileged. Asking them to pay some bills is just self-defense on our part. 50/50 doesn’t make men any less controlling.

hijabae_ · 2021-06-29T16:04:47+00:00

I don’t have much advice, but be sure to make them understand that even if a guy pays for you, don’t ever let him tell you that you now OWE him anything. You are not a prostitute, and you don’t owe a man sex/kissing/hugging just because he paid for your dinner.

springtulip475 · 2021-06-28T16:27:46+00:00

women need to view things from men’s perspectives so for those who think paying proves they’re independent, that’s not how men see it, they see it as a way to exploit liberal feminism’s idea of equality to use women without making a dent in their pockets. men’s words are also very cheap so they need to put their money where their mouth is and invest in us. most men want to go 50/50 so that they can go on as many cheap dates as possible to maximize their chances of getting laid. a man who is serious about you will want to prove it by doing what is expected of him to impress you, show his generosity and that he is a provider. when going on a date, most women have genuine intentions and are looking for a relationship but men have nefarious intentions and are most likely looking to pump and dump. a HVM will know that you are genuine which is why he will have zero problem paying but a NVM will project his shitty intentions on you and try to use you for the least amount possible. make it expensive to waste your time, time is money. paying for a date is also a safety deposit because women are taking much more risks going on a date with a stranger and getting ready is also expensive so a HVM will recognize that dating for women is more expensive and risky and try to even the playing field.

mintmint33 · 2021-06-28T21:56:20+00:00

For a man to be seen with a woman should be rewarding enough.

I don't pay even if they just male friends. I know they're adding value to themselves by letting people watch them with me. They wouldn't allow me to pay, anyway. The only man who let me pay was a complete rubbish, a manipulative abuser.

MuffinSongs · 2021-06-28T18:39:49+00:00

Ask they think their father would ever go 50-50 with any woman. With them? With their mom?

That’s going to be a no. And he can even tell them why. It’s actually hugely emasculating for a man to go 50/50. Men who go 50/50 are going to take more than your money and they will never allow you to meet their father.

deathbecoming · 2021-06-28T22:22:45+00:00

My favorite explanation is asking them their routine for preparation. How many products do they use in the shower, after the shower, on their hair, on their face, for their makeup? How much did that cost? What about clothes? How much did your date night clothes cost? Can you wear those to work (men usually can)? What's the cost-per-wear? Did you spend time or money on anything else, like waxing, hair appt, birth control, mani-pedi (these are largely women-only expenses)? Now, how much do you make (less than most men)? What percentage of your monthly income is spent on things specifically used for date preparation or used to attract the opposite sex?

Flip it and ask a man. Proceed to order dessert and don't argue for the bill.

***I do not like mani-pedis or waxing, get one-two haircuts a year, don't really buy special date clothes and hardly wear makeup. I have gone through this questioning with my "high-maintenance" brother, several guy friends, and coworkers. I still spend ~100 more a month on personal maintenance than any of them, if only because of the pink tax. I make less than all of them.

Flufferly · 2021-06-30T10:19:07+00:00

Even if you want 50/50 down the line, what most people think of as 50/50 usually isn't that. I've seen (and experienced a few):

50/50, but she pays for her birth control/pap smears/pregnancy tests with her own money
50/50, but she buys all the cleaning supplies with her own money because he thinks they "excessive"
50/50, but she buys everything for their kids and pets
50/50, but she does 80% of the housework because he "just doesn't see it" and she "should've asked"
50/50, but somehow all of his priorities/problems/hobbies are "ours" while hers are "hers"

(I've seen some of these in same-sex relationships too, so it's not even necessarily a gendered thing) That's what you're looking at when someone insists on 50/50 from the get-go. If you think that someone who can't treat you to a night out is going to be generous with their time/effort/money down the line, you're going to be disappointed.

Title	EXPLAINING WHY 50/50 IS BAD FOR YOUNGER GENERATION OF WOMEN (TEENS)
Author	aekimieme
Upvotes	525
Comments	78
Date	June 28, 2021 3:03 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/o9m2qs/explaining_why_5050_is_bad_for_younger_generation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/explaining-why-5050-is-bad-for-younger-generation.787378 https://theredarchive.com/post/787378

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