Found my next book.

foambuffalo · 2021-05-27T15:18:32+00:00

Have you ever seen the average mans tinder profile? Half of them look like they’re trying to attract other men lol

Watzoo · 2021-05-27T17:19:52+00:00

One of my all-time favorite quotes!!!

I will say, even in a feminist forum full of male “allies,” this is the one quote that every man, always, zero exceptions, gets very twitchy about. Always.

It’s also one of the few quotes I can post in a non feminist forum (I shared it in a quiverful group once) and get the majority of women immediately nodding or agreeing with it.

Gospel truth.

nothing998 · 2021-05-27T14:46:58+00:00

They don't even get the good parts of being intimate with another person like physical touch and emotionally exposing yourself. Being a man must be so isolating. It's a self-made prison, though.

uaintshieeet · 2021-05-27T13:43:10+00:00

Absolutely this over and over again! I find it absolutely telling when I ask men if they have any female role models outside their mothers in their life and my oh my how many of them struggle to answer.

MissIncongruousNY · 2021-05-27T15:42:05+00:00

This is pretty depressing, but because I feel like it is true.

zazaleaz · 2021-05-27T14:19:44+00:00

I think today we also have men who are so homophobic they don't have real friends either. So they don't have fulfilling relationships with women, because women are just sex objects to them. And they don't have fulfilling relationships with other men because they're afraid of being "gay". So they have no fulfilling relationships at all, and then wonder why they're porn-addicted video game-addicted, depressed, anxious and miserable.

fiery_woman · 2021-05-27T17:39:02+00:00

This is a from a collection of essays, available through a variety of places if you’re seeking to read them like me: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/197801/politics-of-reality-by-marilyn-frye/

modernmedusaa · 2021-05-27T18:57:35+00:00

This why I find most men robotic, rigid, unfulfilling, empty, painstakingly stubborn & predictable. There is no surprise. They are intellectually and emotionally and morally dishonest with themselves. So why so much praise?

I could get more honesty from a stone.

They cage themselves in those 4 walls and try to drag us in there with them for a fight. They expect us to take their rage when they can’t take their self made prison anymore.

Even the idea of admitting they love a woman - despite being born out of one - knocks them sick.

A man who has no respect for women, has no respect for life- himself or future generations. He is emotionally, morally, intellectually stunted and cannot advance society unless at the expense of women and children first.

So much for the ‘rational’ ‘logical sex’.

As the song goes ‘there’s a limit to your love’. That’s how I feel with men - they can only pretend so far until they hit a wall...because love demands vulnerability and you framing it as a positive thing- masculinity forbids its. It denies them to feel the humanity of women.

The praise of the sociopath male is whats brought this world to its knees. It’s cold and clinical and self serving. Because it is homoerotic. Too much toxic masculinity at the expense of women.

There has to be a rebalancing act.

Women are the light workers on this earth - constantly correcting mans sickness.

A lack of female respect is disease and insanity.

Men only have themselves to blame for how the modern world is. They mostly created its coldness, and sickness.

How fucking DARE they blame the sickness of capitalism etc on us, because they failed to climb up it. Because some other sociopath man pulled the ladder from them.

shutup201 · 2021-05-27T16:27:13+00:00

Dang, this is from 1983 and it still holds true for the most part, but I think it's required to maintain patriarchy.

kycake · 2021-05-27T21:34:20+00:00

i love this quote! it so well describes what i have been observing in our society. i remember the first time i heard it i felt relieved that i wasn't the only person who realizes the reality of the situation and just how deep the misogyny is in our culture. everything is for and about men while women are taught to be thrilled with crumbs of attention or kindness. the more women become aware of this the quicker can change happen.

prettyexcitingnews · 2021-05-27T16:46:26+00:00

Exactly this. Men are known to be not empathetic or rather rational compared to women... (it’s just a loophole for them to act like a douchebag tho), but look how they behave towards the men they have to show respect to e.g. their boss, senior, idol etc. They can’t be more empathetic and considerate lol. They literally behave selectively for their convenience 😐

Hmtnsw · 2021-05-27T16:06:51+00:00

I'd like to read studies on this.

SlowMango7000 · 2021-05-27T13:47:56+00:00

To say that straight men are heterosexual is only to say that they engage in sex exclusively with the other sex, i.e., women. All or almost all of that which pertains to love, most straight men reserve exclusively for other men. The people whom the admire, respect, adore, revere, honor, whom the imitate, idolize, and form profound attachments to, whom they are willing to teach and from whom they are willing to learn, and whose respect, admiration, recognition, honor, reverence and love they desire... those are, overwhelmingly, other men. In their relations with women, what passes for respect is kindness, generosity or paternalism; what passes for honor is removal to the pedestal. From women they want devotion, service and sex.

Heterosexual male culture is homoerotic; it is man-loving.

Marilyn Frye, The Politics of Reality, 1983

libralia · 2021-05-27T18:00:56+00:00

perfect tiktok for this

NotYourCirce · 2021-05-28T03:24:48+00:00

So true. I’ve seen this play out in my own life

ms_monquis · 2021-05-27T15:16:34+00:00

The LAST thing toxic masculinity needs is the suggestion that having respect for other men is homo-anything.

severnicle · 2021-05-27T19:57:41+00:00

This is an excellent book! Can't recommend it enough. My favourite chapter is the one about denying men access (power means access).

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-05-27T15:34:04+00:00

if men hate women, then do men love other men?

.... I'd say they don't necessarily love them but admire them or are jealous of others.

given the almost ingendered homophoia of some men, I would say they hate other men too.

they love heterosexual men in a heterosexual way (see bromances)

but they do not respect the choices of non-heterosexual men, for example.

an let's not get into the "super straight" bs that makes me gag... heterosexual men prove once again that they are the most discriminative part of the population, the most hateful and the most narrow-minded.

karabnp · 2021-05-27T15:53:14+00:00

Hetero males, are often the gayest of them all.

At least the male dating/interested gays, are typically fun to be around, often well-dressed/have impeccable taste, can talk fashion/girly stuff with you, WILL AND ARE FUN TO GO SHOPPING WITH, KEEP A CLEAN AND STYLISH DWELLING, stellar communication and vocabulary skills, and are actually capable of being empathetic/having empathy and compassion for people/animals, and being a decent/solid to great friend, in my personal experience.😏 Just to name a few of MANY of my favorite things about them. I’d sooner roomie with a gay best friend, than choose to live with a hetero male.

katiekat0214 · 2021-05-27T15:00:36+00:00

So much this in my first marriage. My first husband was very homosocial, and I felt excluded, looked down on, distrusted, and could not figure it out. For the record, I'm an INTJ, and if I can't analyze something, especially human behavior, I'm often stymied. It's taken me decades to see that so much behavior is driven by culture and/or emotions. I've always trusted my gut, and I just knew something was off with my first husband.

It was so bad that even all his music was male. That floored me. His books were by male authors. There was just no room in his life for anything or anyone female, and he was so hemmed in and trapped by toxic masculinity, and suffering from unhealed childhood trauma, he couldn't see it. I was relegated to a corner of his life, literally and figuratively, and that was NOT enough, and of course he blamed me for wanting too much.

He had been told in single digits by his step-father that he was "gay" for liking to read and for liking animals. He was quite literally treated like the red-headed stepchild, and left home as soon as possible. I only later found out that leaving home super early is usually a sign of trauma and family dysfunction. At the time, being a young, naive Pickmeisha, I just thought he was super independent. Live and learn.

I grew to hate those times when he had his guy friends over, and they would play a war re-enactment game in our garage. He was social, boisterous, open, free, and friendly. I wanted to be included, but instead of teaching me, including me with his group, he shoved a book in my hand and said "read this". No invitation to come watch, or ask questions, or go a little slower playing and teach me to play. No, just here, go off in a corner and read this. It even got to where his whole demeanor would change: he would come in from being talkative with his guy friends, come in the house where I was, and just shut down/shut off. Minimal interaction, minimal words. At first I introjected blame and thought I had "done something". Then I realized, no one else is like that around me, had ever acted like that, did not act like that anywhere else. It was just him. It was the beginning of the end. I divorced, remarried happily to a man who loved to talk and touch and who valued me to the stars and back.

But that homosocial weirdness, being so open and friendly to other men and shutting down around me? Still weirds me out big time. Just so bizarre. We've been divorced since the late 90s, and thinking of this still just makes me shake my head.

Title	Found my next book.
Author	fiery_woman
Upvotes	2356
Comments	73
Date	May 27, 2021 1:02 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/nm6yi8/found_my_next_book/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/found-my-next-book.775288 https://theredarchive.com/post/775288

Comments