I’m actually disgusted and livid

tiavarga · 2020-07-18T01:34:44+00:00

Throw the whole man away.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-07-18T02:06:32+00:00

I would have just said okay and divorced the dude. Clearly the business is significantly more productive than him.

science_with_a_smile · 2020-07-18T00:09:31+00:00

I've been in a lot of Zoom meetings where mom was interrupted by kids at the dining room table but the dads always seemed to have claim over the spare room with a door.

Bodhicaryavatara · 2020-07-18T03:52:32+00:00

The bar for men is so low, it’s a tavern in Hades.

sushiwalrus · 2020-07-18T03:05:24+00:00

Wtf is he good for if he can’t provide money or child rearing? Divorce this slob!

McKermette · 2020-07-18T00:43:57+00:00

I can't watch him for this long.

That statement infuriates me. Many men with children behave more like babysitters than parents; this mentality adds to the disproportionate mental load women have to bear in a relationship. Having a kid means committing to a potential 24/7 obligation for 18 (or more years); things get easier as the child gets older and when there are amenities (like school, social events, or babysitters) available. That's not right now. It's a terribly trying time for everyone; you would think a (HV) male partner would want to shoulder about half of the responsibility to work at home, maintain a house, keep the relationship alive, raise his children, and stay sane.

I hope the CEO to which this screenshot makes reference takes a critical look at her life and what she hopes to accomplish after the pandemic subsides. I certainly would.

trettles · 2020-07-18T03:21:48+00:00

Never, ever, ever breed with a NVM.

deathfromabovekitty · 2020-07-18T03:20:19+00:00

If it doesn't serve their ego or their penis they just can't be bothered.

greenbeanbird · 2020-07-18T04:13:54+00:00

This makes me feel nauseous as fuck, that men have gotten away with simply throwing their hands up in the air and whining about childcare, thus RUINING a dream for and burdening their wives further. I'm on the fence about having kids because I require my future husband to prove he wants to /be/ a father because I don't want to hear anything like that out of his mouth, ever.

2020-07-18T04:22:41+00:00

This is one of the main reasons why getting married isn’t at the top of my list. Granted, you can find a HVM to have kids with and things would be different. But scrotes like this who just make kids and sit around while the woman sacrifices her body and health to have a kid while also going through so many hormonal changes makes my blood boil.

My career, wellbeing, happiness > kids & a man

socalqueenofcheese · 2020-07-18T01:04:17+00:00

I gave up my masters that was 65% complete because my EX wouldn't watch our young son 1 night a week for 4 hours. 👿 I was a new mom totally on my own. If I knew then what I knew now I'd of hired a nanny.

dressedlikeadaydream · 2020-07-18T05:33:19+00:00

Y'all would be surprised (read: not at all) at the attitude so-called "progressive" men in "tech" have regarding their expectations of their wives/girlfriends, but it's super interesting if you get into the industry how many of these men are in IT vs actual tech professionals with advancement opportunities ans real influence.

It's actually a common joke on the Blind app, (anonymous app for tech professionals particularly those in FAANG) that those who make entitled comments about getting laid/dates, it's ALWAYS assumed that they're in IT whereas those with actual TC mobility are those with comments that align with what is discussed here, aka HVMs.

I could literally screenshot a post from a day ago of some scrote asking how he should spend "his money" and how much should be contributed to "the family" since he brings in 85% of the income and he was roasted on how toxic his attitude toward managing money as a spouse is and how he needs to reevaluate.

Deadgirl1888 · 2020-07-18T02:46:45+00:00

Time to drop the dead weight

2020-07-18T02:03:00+00:00

[removed]

purziveplaxy · 2020-07-18T03:59:36+00:00

This is the kind of situation where women, sometimes you need to just let go and leave it up to the father. If he's going to use a child to control you, here take the child. I'm gonna say in most cases the child will be fine. Go stay in a hotel room for a week and sort everything out. So much of this kind of bullshit happens because women allow themselves to be manipulated. Disconnect yourself from your child the way the father so easily has. It's a matter of survival, and in the end for the child's sake as well.

Prestigious_Basis_22 · 2020-07-18T05:08:15+00:00

Woah this gives me more respect for my brother who raises his kids in a separate apartment while unemployed so his gf can work far away for more money

eRoxPlayGames · 2020-07-18T02:27:27+00:00

[removed]

CurlingFlowerSpace · 2020-07-18T02:11:07+00:00

Gonna throw a wild guess out there and say that if she took the kids and abandoned him, it'd take a lot longer than three days for him to notice.

shakethat_milkshake · 2020-07-18T07:19:28+00:00

I remember reading this article :( can’t find it on a google search but the woman was so amazing. She started her own software biz that prioritized hiring WoC in tech.

roseaustralia2020 · 2020-07-18T06:05:29+00:00

What an asshole. I would never want to raise kids with a person like that

fernprincess · 2020-07-18T12:51:31+00:00

I hate this so much because I’ve been there. Sounds like both of my exes who said they wanted to have kids but, surprise, they didn’t want to do any actual parenting when the babies arrived. Emphasis on exes. I hate future faking with an absolute passion now. Kids are not a f*cking joke or something to lie about. They change your entire life. If you want to have kids either don’t have them with men, or vet a man to absolute death before agreeing to have kids with him. The incompetent dad trope of men who forget to change diapers, forget to feed the kids, forget kids’ appointments, etc is NOT funny. They destroy women’s and kids’ lives.

My neighbour is pregnant with a LVM’s baby and this is her future. He hits on me while she’s 8 months pregnant and not one mention of having a baby or even being in a relationship on his Facebook. I am so sad for her. Only a LVM’s ego wants to have kids, in reality they want nothing to do with parenting.

4BigData · 2020-07-18T15:26:30+00:00

A widower told me he couldn't wait until Monday mornings to "shovel my son to school after spending THE WHOLE WEEKEND with him (his own 8-year-old son)".

Then he doubled down on Patriarchy telling me that before his late wife died of cancer, he used to do NOTHING in the house.

Poor kid and poor wife.

Friendzoned in a New York minute. We still talk about finance stuff, our background. I don't need to serve white men to feel useful anymore. Just a decade or so ago my mindset was different, I would have jumped at the opportunity to help, to do good... Now I see how that mindset contributes to the continuation of Patriarchy, it doesn't benefit anybody.

thaiteabbys · 2020-07-18T06:49:58+00:00

All he has to do is watch HIS CHILD he had with HER !! Wtf. There are so many things you can do with your child to keep them entertained. There’s literally no excuses for him. And he’s unemployed.

HorrorConfusion · 2020-07-18T08:07:25+00:00

Was she married to my ex? Ugh

-badmadAM · 2020-07-18T11:04:06+00:00

I know a woman who owns her own little business and she has laid ppl off because "if they can't take even their personal responsibilities that seriously (not caring as much for their kids while the wife has to do all the stuff while also working full time) how am I supposed to trust them with their work responsibilities as much as xyz". Idk the whole story here, there might be more to it. But I think the basic underlying message is true. More people need to realize whom they actually can trust with leadership roles or any kind of responsibilities.

catchaleaf · 2020-07-18T10:58:08+00:00

Read this when it went viral on Twitter. Apparently the woman also employed a lot of POC and they lost their jobs too. This guy could not take of ONE child, his own. Super pathetic.

hilariouslystated · 2020-07-18T14:40:52+00:00

That is all the reason in the world to divorce this man. He is not even working and he can't watch his own kid. He is pathetic and a piece of shit.

LadyArellano · 2020-07-18T14:45:56+00:00

This is what makes my blood boil. Why is she with him? She’s raising two children. Please take out the trash. Thanks bye 👋

RadarFemef · 2020-07-18T15:53:35+00:00

I remember this. She is such a pathetic pickme. These men won’t get away with behaving like a useless fucking child if the women in their life hold them accountable.

She even had the fucking audacity to say “I had to choose to be a mom” like no, working moms are moms, and you chose to end your business and put 13 employees’ livelihoods at stake so you could be a mother to your husband as well you PMAB

SpringJonesOcean · 2020-07-18T06:51:51+00:00

I remember that guy. He was pathetic.

emeral132 · 2020-07-18T09:01:08+00:00

Ok look, it’s awful that he can’t look after his own child BUT she did choose to marry him and have a child with him!

Before you marry and have a child you should check that your idea of family life is compatible with theirs. You should assume that if he expects you to clean up after him whilst both working full time that he might have a slightly outdated view on roles within a relationship and therefore may not be a great husband unless you also share those views.

I know plenty of couples that both work full time and both contribute to raising the children in equal parts.

My mum is a prime example of someone who married a very sexist lazy man and then spent the next 30 years unhappy because he was out drinking and watching sports whilst she was working full time, raising children and looking after the home. When she recounts stories of how miserable she was I can’t help but wonder why she chose him as a husband and why she didn’t divorce him sooner and live a happy life with someone more suitable.

80081E5_96_420 · 2020-07-18T11:00:28+00:00

My male lecturer had his infant son in one of our online lectures because he and his wife were both working from home. Respect for him went way up.

Sunshine8430 · 2020-07-18T11:16:07+00:00

Sounds like my soon to be ex husband.

Fitncurly · 2020-07-18T06:25:51+00:00

Oh man, opposite at my place. This whole thing kinda threw me for a spin, and my husband has stepped up to a lot of my old duties. Now I’m trying to do this social media persona thing (and make money off of it) and he’s been so supportive. Granted, he’s not used to the load, so he complains sometimes, but I put in a decade solid of Martha Stewart style service—I think the dude can handle a few months of being superdad. Mind you, I haven’t completely let go of my responsibilities (I still do majority of all cooking/baking, school and learning time with the kiddos and we split chores), but I let myself sleep in and chill a bit because anxiety has me up late and I don’t feel the need to overextend myself if he’s here. It’s been a nice change 🙂. I’m enjoying it because I’m pretty sure I’m gonna be on super duty soon (I don’t think our schools are gonna open, so I’ll likely be homeschooling our kids in a month). Have faith ladies—not all of them are useless 😆.

balletomanera · 2020-07-18T03:20:08+00:00

Not every human is mentally capable of watching their own children. This is why child protective services is exploding with abuse cases. At least he was honest, and didn’t resort to abuse.

I can hope atleast.

Title	I’m actually disgusted and livid
Author	uwuawooga
Upvotes	1810
Comments	87
Date	July 18, 2020 12:07 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ht70e6/im_actually_disgusted_and_livid/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/im-actually-disgusted-and-livid.714450 https://theredarchive.com/post/714450

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