Just a rant about comments on makeup

circescircus · 2020-09-19T10:33:39+00:00

A few possibilities...

- He is making these comments without thinking, because he is socially obtuse and has low empathy.

- He is making these comments intentionally, because he wants to make you feel insecure and like you wear a lot of makeup because you are not naturally beautiful.

- He is making these comments intentionally, because he is insecure, knows you are naturally beautiful and wants you to downplay your looks by not wearing makeup.

Other things...

How were his clothes "covered" in makeup when you wear minimal makeup? He must have pointed out a small smudge mark on his shirt, and when his mom asked what it was, he gleefully told her it was your makeup. Just so weird and creepy and off putting in a lot of ways. The lipstick remark too.

This guy sounds like he has very little/zero experience dating women, overshares with his mom, just get rid of him. You are not overreacting, there is something very off about this man.

goatismycopilot · 2020-09-19T12:13:48+00:00

Just dump him then you do not have to wonder why he does or says anything.

daisy_0720 · 2020-09-19T13:02:11+00:00

If you didn't wear any makeup at all, trust me when I say he would be making comments about how nice you'd look if you made more of an effort with your appearance or wore makeup when you went out. You literally cannot win.

Why? Because your makeup has nothing to do with it. He's trying to bring down your confidence and make you feel insecure because he's a negging, potentially abusive piece of shit. This is how it starts. Chip, chip, chip away at your self-confidence until you become a shell of your former self under the guise of 'joking' or 'trying to help'. If it wasn't your makeup, it would be something else. Your gut is telling you this is red flag. Listen to it.

Trust me, I have dated LV men in the past and been a Pickme, but NOT ONE man has EVER made a negative or disparaging comment about my appearance or fashion choices. Whether I was wearing a lot of makeup, no makeup, if it was smudged, if I was tired, if I was sick - they thought I looked gorgeous regardless. What he is doing is not normal. No man who loves and cares for you would ever speak to you like this.

He knows. He knows it's inappropriate and rude to make these kinds of comments. He knows that it's bothering you. This is exactly why he's doing it, because he wants to see how much shit you will tolerate and stay with him.

If you don't dump him, you are literally rolling out the welcome mat for him to abuse you. This is just the beginning. Please don't stick around to see how much worse it will get.

jelilikins · 2020-09-19T09:44:47+00:00

Ugh. Like many men, wants to enjoy all the upsides of performative femininity without being at all inconvenienced by it. I bet he doesn't mind the makeup when he's looking at you.

Davina33 · 2020-09-19T09:56:12+00:00

This isn't good news, you need to dump him. He was attracted enough to you with make up on to ask you out. This sounds like a sneaky way to get you to stop wearing it, in the hope that you won't attract attention from other men anymore. I've been there.

Rediecoration · 2020-09-19T10:31:17+00:00

Red flag, red flag, he is definitely negging you about your makeup and how much effort you put into looking good WHILE HE IS INSECURE about looking like I flushed toilet water, you are NOT OVERREACTING!!! You need to run and block block block this man immediately

cupcakedreamz · 2020-09-19T09:41:48+00:00

Eww this reminds me of a few I've dated. I wear light natural makeup (full face but my skin looks like skin)...and even still some of them got really nasty. I just won't tolerate it anyway. Straight up neg in my opinion. They really try to take a stab at our self esteem...boy bye👋🤡

Mindard · 2020-09-19T12:20:46+00:00

This is negging. He is trying to attack your confidence by implying you need the makeup to look good. Basically trying to maximise or create insecurities. I’d bounce.

Novemberinthechair · 2020-09-19T09:49:03+00:00

[deleted]

tallwomenneedlovetoo · 2020-09-19T12:53:36+00:00

Makeup for women of lighter complexions is literally so easy to remove in comparison. When we first started dating, husband would get straight-up black cheek/nose after canoodling and instead of complaining, would wash his face or ask for a makeup wipe if I had it.

Also, if my foundation got on a shirt, he’d pretreat it, then wash it once he got home. It’s really not that fucking deep; mans is trying to neg you into not wearing makeup anymore

UnstrirringCoffee · 2020-09-19T14:20:54+00:00

He "ate" your face? He sounds like a bad kisser who thinks slobbering all over your face is somehow hot.

Hahane · 2020-09-19T12:02:37+00:00

Omg, I can't. This person has written before that FDS is the most toxic sub on Reddit, yet has the audacity to complain here. I'm glad we have the best mods who took care of it properly.

2020-09-19T12:23:57+00:00

girl what

dump him

idiosyncrassy · 2020-09-19T13:31:27+00:00

He told his mommy on you for getting his sweater dirty. Is he twelve?

NEEEEEEEXT

htownbaddie · 2020-09-19T13:35:23+00:00

I hate when guys make comments about makeup. It’s instantly a red flag. If they preferred a girl without makeup, then go for a girl that doesn’t wear makeup. Don’t try to change me after the affect. Boy bye.

Also, why do women always have to preface their comments with “I don’t even wear that much makeup” , even if you have a full cake face, full contour, and bright orange lipstick, I still don’t think it’s in a guys realm to bring it up. If it’s not for you, pick someone who wants to be bare faced tf.

juliet-elia · 2020-09-19T13:32:48+00:00

It's manipulation. It's not negging bc that implies that those comments are backhanded compliments. They aren't. This is bold manipulation so you have no self worth and think you can't to better. You can. Dump him. Sorry but this is a no go, he seems to say shit like that often.

Try wearing only foundation and very natural brows and no gloss. Things a" man" would not see. If he starts with other insults or changes his comments in a weird way its definitely manipulation

PeriAntoinette · 2020-09-19T15:00:38+00:00

I had an ex who said "hey I'm an expert at removing makeup, don't you think?" with a grin on his face after a make out session, because I apologised I got it all over his shirt and lips. Another ex was like "aww" when he found my foundation smudge on his t-shirt the day after our date, because it reminded him of me. Even this fuckboi I only saw once was like "oops I removed your makeup, guess you'll have to re-do it". Not ONE complained. None of these were HVM, but this is the high value way to react,

kind_red · 2020-09-19T13:11:11+00:00

Yeah that’s pretty rude. If it bothered him that it got on his clothes, he could just say so, but it doesn’t sound like that’s his issue. I say be done with him. There is a better future for you where you do not have to deal with these comments.

LevelTurbulent · 2020-09-19T16:26:33+00:00

This is one of the things my ex husband used to do and he turned out to be a psychopath.

Multiple friends have said he deserves an Oscar for his performance throughout our marriage but this was one of the little red flags people told me was no big deal.

Someone else said it could mean he's obtuse and has low empathy. Low empathy is a huge, huge deal. These are the narcissists and psychopaths. These are the men who engage in mental and emotional abuse, get their wives medicated to make them easier to handle or just kill them.

Start looking at him really hard if you stay with him. Read about narcissism, Dr Ramani has some great YouTube videos. If you find signs that he has low or no empathy, get out. It's not worth it.

It may sound silly over a couple makeup comment but this is literally how it started with my ex husband and he eventually wanted to kill me.

Maisiebr · 2020-09-19T10:50:09+00:00

A guy who likes you won't deliberately say things like this. I am quite cautious about not rubbing it off on people, but I can't avoid that while having sex or kissing passionately. After these times usually I was the one who rubbed the foundation off their face and told them to go rub it off. They just told me that yeah, we were doing things very sensually so it's no surprise. They may have told me that they find me beautiful without makeup, but because I liked to wear it when they approached me they knew what they were in for. Last time I was only told that I even look so nice when we go to the supermarket (just a fitted white T and skinny jeans, light makeup, great hair from the previous day freshened up a bit), no negging.

shadowlillium · 2020-09-19T21:14:47+00:00

Heard a recent story like this about a guy telling his girlfriend she stinks even tho she showers and does everything possible to stay clean and smells great. Eventually she asked friends for confirmation of BO, and they said she smelled great. Went to bf to confront him and he admitted he was trying to lower her self esteem so she’d never leave him

sharpbehind · 2020-09-19T16:15:56+00:00

This made my hair stand up. I think he's testing the waters because a one off joke about a sweater? Sure. The same comments over and over and bringing someone else into it who may or may not have really said it? Thats concerning to me.

Pasdepromesses · 2020-09-19T15:30:48+00:00

Men who like you won’t care. I get red lipstick all over them during make out sessions and not one has ever complained.

super_thinker_ · 2020-09-19T16:31:36+00:00

Umm did a man write this?

RathdrumGal · 2020-09-19T18:15:36+00:00

His mother made a comment? Only date men who do their own laundry, not little boys dependent on Mommie for basic life skills.

NurseBubbleGum · 2020-09-19T16:59:28+00:00

My ex used to like to tell me when he had shimmer from my make up on his face. He would always tell me, "that's my baby's glitter" haha. Get you a man who loves it 😆

preppykat · 2020-09-19T21:22:54+00:00

He’s whining right after sex instead of being grateful?? Dump.

warinmymind94 · 2020-09-19T22:20:59+00:00

Its LV and also super rude to make comments like this about your makeup. Hes using it as a segque to really get obnoxious with negging you. His goal? To make you feel lousy, dimish your self esteem and make you think he's the only one that'll accept you. Laura Mercier is nice quality and pricey. Sis, I see your effort. You're using your money to buy these products and your time to get done up. I know you're putting time money and energy into your hair and outfits too. I know because I would do the same. I think its good! But he obviously doesn't appreciate it and rather would negg you.

Block and delete him. Hes only gonna start getting worse!

Edit: hes already telling his mom about you and she's already shit talking you. Yuck. And you gave him sex and he still has the audacity to complain AND out you on blast to his mom. RUN!!!

sewingmachinesavior · 2020-09-19T23:54:07+00:00

I have found that men who say things like this are doing it so you will change your behavior without them having to outright ask.

If you REALLY like him, I would maybe have ONE conversation about it, and then if (when haha) it happens again, move on.

Eden199607 · 2020-09-19T16:19:38+00:00

I can feel you. I once went on a date with a boy (calling him a boy because he isn't fit to be labelled as a man) and let me tell you I did not even apply foundation. All in all, it was baby powder on my face, blush on my cheeks, a Colourpop lipstick that I applied on my lips with masacara and eyeliner and he said, "You wear a lot of make-up."

That was it, it never progressed

kettleodumplins · 2020-09-19T18:53:48+00:00

"Well your MOM is WRONG."

Ohhhhhhh

This guy needs to grow up. He sounds like an immature, controlling mama's manbaby; run away.

alichuchu · 2020-09-19T20:02:27+00:00

Leave him. He should not be making such comments. He knows it’s rude and it lacks empathy. Even if you try to cOmMuNiCaTe with him, he will neg you further. Even if it’s “fixed”, I promise you will never get this sour taste out of your mouth, and for the rest of your relationship you will constantly feel that he’s still silently judging you. So dump this p.o.s.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-09-19T20:45:31+00:00

You aren't overreacting and yes it is rude. Throw the whole man away and let him date women who don't wear makeup if that's what he prefers.

I've always worn some kind of makeup. Sometimes heavy but mostly light and haven't had one single man I've dated complain about it.

Novemberinthechair · 2020-09-19T12:25:13+00:00

His jumper? He wears a jumper?

hakunnamatatamfs · 2020-09-19T17:46:08+00:00

Before pandemics, in my country we used to greet w a peek on the cheek so I've got lots of someone else's make on myself and I can see how that could be annoying It depends a lot of the voice tone he uses to tell you this but I'd say it's rude

blair2006 · 2020-09-20T22:31:10+00:00

I’ve had guys say things like this to me when I explicitly mention to them I work in the makeup industry. OFC I wear lots of makeup dumbass

Davina33 · 2020-09-19T09:33:20+00:00

[removed]

Title	Just a rant about comments on makeup
Author	MissAustraliana
Upvotes	245
Comments	98
Date	September 19, 2020 9:29 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ivpfu4/just_a_rant_about_comments_on_makeup/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/just-a-rant-about-comments-on-makeup.252412 https://theredarchive.com/post/252412

Comments