some men need to learn this

nojaemit · 2020-05-17T18:34:32+00:00

Being a former ugly duckling, I'm so wary of men now. I wish I didn't have to live with the mental problems that being an ugly girl caused me but at least I have learned to be very cautious.

I have always been outgoing and social and friendly to everyone. Not a single guy cared for my personality. They would flock around my pretty friends and scoff and roll their eyes every time I wanted to take part in the conversation. Like my presence was bothering them. Now that I'm somewhat pretty they flock around me and I see how shitty, dismissive and disrespectful they are to the other women they consider "not hot enough". I don't care if you are nice to me, I will judge your character by how you treat the women you don't want to fuck. It's so humiliating to be treated like you are worthless because you have the audacity to be an unattractive woman.

onefoulowl · 2020-05-17T18:20:44+00:00

So many men don't see women as real people. There was a guy I shared a kitchen with in my first year of university who would literally not talk to a girl if he didn't find her attractive and specifically wanted to fuck her. And no he wasn't getting laid.

He ignored girls that weren't 'model pretty' and got friendzoned by the ones he did communictate with. He wasn't ugly or short either. I'd literally say hi to him and ask how he was everytime time I saw him out of politeness. Meanwhile he just wouldn't respond or would mumble 'hi' and then we'd both cook in silence. He not once asked me how I was. He did this to another girl in our flat however the third girl who was objectively the prettiest out of all of us he'd go out of his way to talk to and her hot friend who was actually a model. You'd think men would have some level of common decency but no.

eatchickpeas · 2020-05-17T19:12:44+00:00

when i was fat id get stared at or maybe an old man would demand my phone number. i got ignored alot when i was fat, id say something and men would pretend they didnt hear me. when i lost weight i had men of all ages and sizes holding doors open for me, buying me things, running my errands etc. id talk and every man would stare and listen to me. it took me a while to realise you only get the respect from men if they want to sleep with you or if you are family. and even then its not respect, they will give you the luxury of their attention to you but they will still belittle, sexualise and coddle you

Nifteroni-and-Cheese · 2020-05-17T19:19:47+00:00

Also respecting women who turn you down

FewCucumber29 · 2020-05-17T22:35:00+00:00

I know I'm in the bottom 50% of females on the scale of conventional attractiveness. When you're not in the top 50% of women in the room, disrespect from men shows up much more immediately and they're not as two faced as they are with conventionally attractive women. There's a basic level of respect that you should treat humans with when they've done nothing wrong to you. There are too many men who blatantly 'forget' I'm in the same room as them because I'm not someone they want to fuck. I've had men walk away from me in the middle of a conversation that concerns work/school or give me an obvious look of disgust because how dare I think I can speak to them looking the way I do? The only reason I'm talking to them is because the topic of discussion concerns my professional life. That doesn't warrant them to be disrespectful for no reason. Even though I'm not conventionally attractive, it doesn't mean I base my value on getting the attention of men who are oblivious enough to believe that I have such low self esteem as an unattractive woman, that everything I do is based around them liking me. They need to get their heads straight and realize that the conversations I spawn with them has everything to do with my professional life and nothing to do with their belief that unattractive women are so desperate, they strategize a way to start ANY conversation with men in hopes of getting their attention. I don't want to date you. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, speak to me like a basic human being and let me finish what I need to say so that you and I can address the issues on this professional project.

SkyWanderluster · 2020-05-17T21:58:36+00:00

[deleted]

EurasianEmpress · 2020-05-17T18:02:22+00:00

If they have to learn this then they have never respected women to begin with nor will they ever genuinely respect women.

AyemHerself · 2020-05-17T18:13:05+00:00

It also includes respecting women they don't feel "act right" or "respect themselves."

gigababejfl · 2020-05-18T01:27:19+00:00

Excellent tweet.

This is an amazing thread and I am heartened by the stories shared here. Not too long ago, the unattractive women of another sub was dragged by FDS for asserting how much physical attractiveness played a role in how women get treated by men. By extension, this affects quality of life. Seeing so many women report some version of the same observations is bittersweet. There is only so much positive thinking one can do before acknowledging how shallow so many of them can be. They don't even try to hide their contempt for unattractive women which is why all of their worst insults amount to calling a woman physically unattractive.

nopuedeser818 · 2020-05-17T23:59:37+00:00

What's crazy is that the men online say that it's so easy for a chick to get any man but hard for them to get a woman. The way most men seem so mean and dismissive to women they aren't attracted to. Nope.

KountChalkula · 2020-05-17T20:47:49+00:00

It also includes respecting women you ARE attracted to. So many men can't even do that.

2020-05-17T17:59:42+00:00

I've always wondered how the replies look since I don't have Twitter.

Edit.

coolestgirlyoueverme · 2020-05-17T17:49:02+00:00

Truth

sjfghrigh349854 · 2020-05-17T20:39:37+00:00

I work in a popular arcade and the dads and boyfriends are significantly nicer to me on the days i do my hair and wear makeup. I literally have to make myself more attractive to avoid dealing with shitty customers, it’s honestly ridiculous that my male colleagues are respected no matter how groomed or grubby they look that day yet the only way for me to gain decent treatment from male customers is to be hot.

StupidHappyPancakes · 2020-05-17T21:24:00+00:00

I agree with the sentiment behind this, but I'd argue that highly attractive women don't necessarily get respected either. They may get treated better initially, but it's all faked because he thinks of her as a sex object. And if a guy is only respectful to you because he sees you as a sexual conquest, he'll dump you once he's bored with you, he finds a new target, and/or God forbid your looks slip a little.

When it comes to the deeper form of respect, like trusting someone's judgment and valuing their opinion in the workplace, less attractive women often do better. The guys' brains aren't buzzing around constantly plotting how to get the woman in bed, so he's slightly more willing to actually listen to her when she speaks.

A woman who is built like a Victoria's Secret model may very well even encounter prejudice as far as being hired or being promoted, because men will focus on her looks and think she has nothing intelligent to say. They also may avoid her because it annoys them to have their brain fried with horniness every time they see her.

2020-05-18T07:58:39+00:00

I just keep reminding myself these type of men will get their karma. I honestly do not believe a woman would ever truly love scummy men like this. A pickme might think she loves him but eventually if she wakes up and undo the pickme behaviour and attitudes she probably leave his ass and realize it's not love or the love is gone. Incels always bitching about women initiating divorces nowadays. Well maybe just maybe she finally woke up and realize she doesn't love him like before and she can't bear another day with him. But of course we live in 2020 it's not your fault for your behaviour it's x,y and z anything but your own fault for your own failures. Also, once you starting noticing this behaviour you realize who they are as a person. You see right thru these assholes and avoid them.

somegenerichandle · 2020-05-17T21:12:22+00:00

"If you want to know what a man is like, look to how he treats his inferiors." - JK Rowling

dejazz367 · 2020-05-18T03:22:07+00:00

exactly im treated very badly previously by these so called "LVM, selfish F boys" who dont give a damn for my feelings

Initially, i was depressed and down seeing how they placed other ladies on the pedestal while im "used" and dumped callously by them

Then i realise, its not a reflection of my self-worth, ITS JUST speak volumes about their morals, and lack of integrity and proper decency to treat someone decently. Even a random stranger will treat someone better with basic respect and accountability.

BabaAuRhumOhlala · 2020-05-18T14:23:56+00:00

I met up with my high school class 5 years after the graduation. Girls would act normal to me but guys could barely recognize me and would suddenly ask to add me on Facebook. 🙄 They would ignore, bully or sneer at me when I was dressing more like a boy in teen years.

throw248348 · 2020-05-17T23:54:33+00:00

This has been my experience too. Most men are very rude and disrespectful if you gain weight. They treat you like you aren't human.

victorianmood · 2020-05-25T05:02:40+00:00

Facts! I have such a pretty face but my teeth are jacked and I have raised acne scars right in the middle of my nose that are really bad.

I’m so bad whoever the fuck made me f’d up the recipe 😒

I’m seen as a male hater by the way I’m so critical of men but I honestly can’t stand them when their the type of guy who’s rating attractiveness in their head!

GroveTC · 2020-05-24T17:38:00+00:00

But why would she use a profile pic with half her tits out.. more respect? I don't get it.

breadandbunny · 2020-05-27T04:01:32+00:00

Very much agree. Respect shouldn't be limited to "only if I find someone attractive."

bookwormdown13 · 2020-05-27T19:16:46+00:00

Not tryna start shit but it's the same for all ugly people really. I hate when people are just cold to ugly people. It even happens sometimes where guys will do it to other guys and girls to other girls.

teatimebiitch · 2020-06-05T14:53:51+00:00

Something I’ve learned from both observing others and my own experiences is that nine times out of ten, when it comes to women they’re not related to, men will only engage with women they are attracted to, even on a platonic level.

I love my mom but she has a lot of “Cool Girl”/Pickmeisha behaviors from growing up in a different time, and it’s no surprise that A: she has mostly male friends and B: they all think she is attractive.

I don’t fault her completely, though. Men are so shallow and surface level, so that’s probably their design.

alexgiann25 · 2020-07-08T21:49:50+00:00

why tf is half her tit out in her pfp lmaoo

Snoo989898 · 2020-08-15T04:19:39+00:00

Omg yes!!!!!!!!!!!

HungryDrummer7715 · 2022-08-08T19:18:41+00:00

So i've read a lot of stuff here and the thing is that not all men are assholes. I amit it there are some men who are not respecting woman enough but most of us are respecting you and care about you (or at least REALLY REALLY try) and you shouldn't make assumptions about every men based on a few bad experineces you've had. And to all of you who actually had been with men who do not respect you in any way or care about you in any way I'm really sorry that you had to go through that but please remember that there are bad apples in every group but that does not mean that the whole group is bad

Thank you for your time and attention if you've read the whole thing and sorry for my spelling I'm not a native speaker

Mystro_22 · 2022-08-08T19:00:52+00:00

Bro what 💀 (I’m a guy)

some men need to learn this

Comments

why-men-deserve-less 🤦‍♀️

Title	some men need to learn this
Author	throw248348
Upvotes	6718
Comments	105
Date	May 17, 2020 5:16 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/glj7iv/some_men_need_to_learn_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/some-men-need-to-learn-this.675905 https://theredarchive.com/post/675905