Yet another reminder why you vet men, so this won't be your future. It's way too common. No thanks

AutoModerator · 2021-02-16T17:09:37+00:00

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MadamLeFay · 2021-02-16T17:27:37+00:00

aaaaaaaand thank you for reminding me of another reason why I'm grateful to be divorced. My kitchen is a pristine temple of sanitary righteousness.

Interesting_Day1188 · 2021-02-16T17:25:40+00:00

He actually lives that way? He'll get to it? He's not working! GET TO IT NOW!

SadMadNomad · 2021-02-16T18:34:51+00:00

Whenever I'm feeling lonely, I remind myself that I like the idea of romance, not the reality of it. This is the reality. This is what many women in heterosexual relationships are dealing with. Nothing romantic about it.

I don't want to sound cruel because I do feel for these women. I remember reading a post somewhere (I think it was Twitter) saying how women should learn to be ice queens. Back then, I didn't like the sound of it, but now, I agree. Men don't respect women, they don't respect our emotions, our anger, our sadness. Instead, if you're in a situation like this (and you can't leave/divorce) be ice cold. Don't clean up after him, don't cook for him, don't tell him or remind him of what he has to do. Set aside a plate for yourself and let him sit in his own filth until he understands he has to be an adult and clean up after himself. If he doesn't get it, then maybe it is time to leave.

I'm not the most organized person ever, but I like keeping my place at least somewhat presentable and clean. Consistently messy men are a major turn off. It's honestly worth ending a relationship over.

AuroraAustralxs · 2021-02-16T17:11:14+00:00

If I came home to that, that pig would be oinking his way to the nearest homeless shelter.

catsuramen · 2021-02-16T18:03:23+00:00

That's disrespectful. My ex used to so this. I came home after a day of work and still got another 2 hours of housework to do.

Fast forward to now, I come home and would find all the dishes cleaned, the trash taken out, the floors vacuumed, and big hug incoming from my fiance.

RhiannonEmilia · 2021-02-16T18:30:10+00:00

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novahex · 2021-02-16T17:19:36+00:00

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kiripon · 2021-02-16T17:36:11+00:00

As if on vacation you should even be that messy and dirty.

donttextme_k · 2021-02-16T17:15:13+00:00

I feel so bad for these women.

How hard is it to clean up after yourself

2021-02-16T17:52:07+00:00

This is evidence of a man who doesn’t appreciate what he has and doesn’t respect the space he shares with the person he supposedly loves.

ShieldMaidenLagertha · 2021-02-16T18:55:42+00:00

If she has the kid in day care, what does she need this man for? If she was single she’d at least come home to a clean house!

oceandreamer83 · 2021-02-16T17:33:32+00:00

The part that got me was "like he's on vacation".

WHO ACTS LIKE THIS ON VACATION?!

ethnicallyabiguous · 2021-02-16T19:10:02+00:00

Did you guys see the deli turkey meat left on the counter?!?? It’s literally spoiling the food that was bought! You couldn’t be bothered to put away some food to keep it from going bad?!?!

Maingurl · 2021-02-16T17:49:57+00:00

So disrespectful!

I hope she didn't clean it.

Ayxmiii · 2021-02-16T17:39:50+00:00

I feel so bad for her. Honestly. I do.

janeaustenfan99 · 2021-02-16T20:44:31+00:00

Men regress into who they really are the more comfortable they get with you over time.

Tomoshaamoosh · 2021-02-16T19:35:44+00:00

This is like my father. He leaves a whirlwind of destruction everywhere he goes for my mother to clean up and then screams at her if she ever suggests he helps her. He genuinely thinks that she’s bloody lucky that he irons his own shirts. Meanwhile she washes and dries absolutely everything and of course does the dry cleaning runs as well.

petit_rouge · 2021-02-16T21:27:46+00:00

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advice1988 · 2021-02-16T17:55:24+00:00

If my partner ever made a social media post of my behaving like this or I made one of my partner behaving like this, I would be ashamed of myself.

Surely a conversation before doing this, then a ultimatum and then divorce. They are your equal not another child. Shaming someone doesn’t change the behaviour and doesn’t correct the behaviour.Some people are built different. All it does is build resentment and make light of it.

I would not be on social media commiserating with other people in the same situation, which adds to the conformity of the stereotype of married men being childlike and unable to engage in the keeping of the environment for the well-being & safety of the family as a whole and facilitates in thinking this is a ‘norm’ for married life that women have to ‘cope’ with. This isn’t a tiktok trend it’s unpaid emotional & physical labour that men begin to expect, that comes from a place of compliance & a lack of empathy towards their partner.

Honey no. No.

2021-02-16T20:53:46+00:00

During the course of this disaster that this man created, you just know that the image of his wife picking all this up after him crossed his mind several times. It seems intentional, malicious almost. Passive aggressive. Subliminally showing her that she is meant to serve him and clean up his mess.
The microwave is slung open, there's raw peppers on the counter and sprinkled about the surface, there's what looks like a chemical bottle sitting over a burner which is no doubt a hazard. There's just no way someone capable of getting married isn't doing this intentionally. Or at the very least, has this thought cross his mind. Assuming he isn't blind of course.

slayeroftruth · 2021-02-16T22:01:59+00:00

Men always put down housewives for not doing real work. Yet they can't even do small fraction of what they do for week. He does not have child with him. That whole house should be spotless. You should not be that dirty on vacation.

PasDeTout · 2021-02-16T18:50:27+00:00

How is that one day’s worth of mess? What’s wrong with him.

GamerGirlLinda · 2021-02-16T21:00:34+00:00

“I’ll get to it!”

No, gtf up and do it right now. It shouldn’t be in that state at all under any circumstances unless there was a hurricane.

Inthefullspectrum · 2021-02-16T22:14:26+00:00

Once, when I was in high school, I was hanging out after the last bell with my (female) friends and we were making plans to meet up later than day or the day next. The boyfriend of one of them comes around and heard our chat.

He: Lol, you girls are so complicated. If one of the boys want to hang up we just sms or they drop by home.

Other of my friends, the “blunt” one: Well, we are people with responsibilities you know?

Point of the story: even as 16 years old, girls are taught that a)her free time isn’t entirely their own meanwhile they live with their parents. B) Girls have real hobbies and responsabilities with others (in this particular case: scouts reunion, volleyball practice, take care of little siblings, housework expected of us) Then, you have grow ass men who wouldn’t dream of doing housework or make time for others in their day off.

petit_rouge · 2021-02-16T22:35:12+00:00

Won't be me sis. I'd rather be single for the rest of my life.

_queeeen_ · 2021-02-16T23:22:51+00:00

If I saw this during the vetting phase I would dump him. I won’t tolerate a messy kitchen.

Saitschik · 2021-02-16T20:40:06+00:00

Yeah, no, luckily I don't have a husband like that and never will.

2021-02-16T19:01:34+00:00

I do my dishes once a day, in the morning while I make coffee and it takes less than 15 minutes. WHY?????

veruscka · 2021-02-16T22:06:09+00:00

I’m glad there’s so many comments about feeling bad for her, because I don’t. Instead of posting a video about how gross your husband is, how about you try leaving. I doubt he’s a perfect angel outside of this particular instance. As I get older, I find it more difficult to respect those who can’t respect themselves enough to want more. We only get one life, do you want to spend it stressing about... messes made by your husband? No. Level the fuck up.

aquietsword · 2021-02-17T01:35:46+00:00

Men can pretend for a long time. Ask his sisters if he has them. At the very least they'll probably lie worse than him. In my case I'll tell you straight up that his status is lvm.

ferociouslycurious · 2021-02-17T05:15:00+00:00

OH MY GOD what IS IT with doors not being closed??!!! My ex closed doors when he was single, THEN WE GOT MARRIED AND IT WENT TO HELL. He was THIRTY FOUR YEARS OLD and he suddenly lost all ability to close a door. Like I don’t even know how to vet for that.

Keyluver · 2021-02-16T17:29:14+00:00

I see no flair option FDS Newbie

omg!! I feel for her situation! have the parents neglected to teach these young men how to clean up after themselves?

LADIES! new rule in dating

ask him if hes good at cleaning up after himself or if he still expects Mom or GF to do it? if he cant thats a huge check against him..no more raising boys to be men!

BetterToBeLonely · 2021-02-17T17:36:10+00:00

That is what my kitchen always looks like since I went on strike. Except all the cabinet doors are open too. I'm constantly on the verge of a mental breakdown having to leave it like that. But there's no friggin way I am cleaning up after him anymore. I am dedicated to mirroring his effort until I land a new job and file for divorce. Hopefully the kids won't be ruined in the meantime.

2021-02-17T02:25:21+00:00

The microwave open confirms he does not give a fuck about this house or his wife.

randowordgenerator · 2021-02-17T03:57:23+00:00

God, she's so young to become a drudge.

anonymous_monkey2 · 2021-02-17T04:42:44+00:00

I live with gross straight guys who do this. One of them, his gf will do it FOR him if she's here to cook. The only times it's clean is maybe one every 2 weeks. Half the time cause she was the one who did it.

One of many reasons I'm actively trying to get out of here. I cant take it anymore 🤮

soundslikeautumn · 2021-02-17T15:04:58+00:00

"I'll get to it."????? Why the fuck did he let it get to that point anyway?

CrazyPaine · 2021-02-17T04:21:44+00:00

This was literally me and he would take his time getting to the kitchen which would be 2 to 3 weeks later. I didn't cook because of that and then after I stopped nagging him I just eventually did it because I was so exhausted working 10 hours because I knew he wasn't going to clean anything at all tbh.

ms_monquis · 2021-02-17T17:28:00+00:00

One day?

ONE DAY??

I don't think I'd be capable of making that much of a mess in a week, even if I TRIED. Couldn't even close the microwave??!??!

I do wonder if this is new behavior. What did his apartment look like before they married? Was he always aggressively a slob and she ignored it (love conquers all!) or did he go mad after the fact?

vintagexrose · 2021-02-17T01:10:44+00:00

How hard is it to clean up after yourself..... especially if you’re an adult 😫

V0703 · 2021-02-20T06:20:26+00:00

My life with my dad. Now I just leave the house like this, cause why bother.

Title	Yet another reminder why you vet men, so this won't be your future. It's way too common. No thanks
Author	novahex
Upvotes	639
Comments	86
Date	February 16, 2021 5:08 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ll8ezz/yet_another_reminder_why_you_vet_men_so_this_wont/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/yet-another-reminder-why-you-vet-men-so-this-wont.1192371 https://theredarchive.com/post/1192371

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