Being unable to get commitment is not comparable to being unable to get sex.

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-05-18T01:26:28+00:00

Each side values one over the other, so while it may feel like comparing apples to oranges, they're both on the same footing in terms of value.

If I was in a relationship where I could never have sex with anyone, not even my partner, that would be torture to me. If I was resigned to masturbate while maintaining a relationship with someone, even if it were a fulfilling relationship with a deep connection, that would be torture to me. I'd feel like I was being short-changed.

Likewise, if women were in a relationship that never involved any connection, intimacy, or really getting to know the person that they were having sex with, that would be akin to torture as well. They would feel like they weren't worth anything and would basically be reduced to a free-use prostitute.

The best we can do is collaborate and try to meet in the middle so that everyone's "needs" are being met. Easier said than done, of course.

averagedude4 · 2020-05-17T23:07:38+00:00

Women try to downplay this by saying sex is useless to them. At the end of the day sex is part of a healthy life and mind for both genders and none will start to take a toll on the mind

Svataben · 2020-05-18T00:37:16+00:00

companionship and human contact. The woman who is unable to get commitment is still getting almost every other aspect of a relationship.

How is a lack of commitment companionship? It’s one out of two, not “almost every other aspect”.

Additionally, ONSs tend to be unsatisfactory for several reasons:

Lots of women can’t orgasm unless they feel comfortable and relaxed, which they don’t with an ONS.
These guys don’t know what the woman needs to get off.
They are most often selfish lovers anyway, because they don’t care about the person they’re basically masturbating into.

So what’s exactly so great for women here? Risking STDs, pregnancy, violence, and judgement for unsatisfying sex that cannot be classified as real human contact?
Are we meant to feel privileged over that?

throwawaygang21 · 2020-05-18T18:26:45+00:00

Idk how this is even a discussion.

https://youtu.be/fD2briZ6fB0

Here’s a video on incels by someone who has lived life as a man and a woman. She states that she would rather deal with a firing squad of dicks and creeps than the sad loneliness and disinterest from everyone you receive as a man.

Women are really trying to argue that being used for sex somehow invalidates the entire courting process they received, the validation, the attention, and the sex itself? Even though many women claim to enjoy casual sex just as much as men do?

There’s no way that’s possible. What benefits does an ugly incel man receive? Literally nothing, nothing at all.

wtknight · 2020-05-17T23:12:25+00:00

Being unable to get male attention besides attention for sex is what is the female equivalent of men not being able to get sex. If everything a man is doing is to "romance" her is just to get into her pants, what he is doing has no value to her because she has no value to him besides what is on her chest and what is between her legs, and this isn't what most women want.

On the other hand, if a woman is having short-term relationships with men that involve more than just sex, but he won't commit for the long-term with her, then I agree with your premise. It would be like a man who could hypothetically get women to kiss him, make out with him and who might let him touch her sexually, but who couldn't get a woman to go all the way and have sex with him. Such a hypothetical man would at least be getting some sexual fulfillment, but not all of it.

GalacticGoatWarrior · 2020-05-18T03:26:40+00:00

Interesting post, from my personal experience the influx of available 'sex' in the market has actually helped many men realise that sex isn't all it's hyped up to be, as with anything material. Take for example marriage in the past, you don't get sex until you commit, so your hormones hijack your intelligence, you hype it up in your head and finally you get it, but only when you've chosen to give your commitment. Now, perhaps a virgin still has the false allurement of 'purity' and 'virtue', a power which can sway even the most headstrong man, and an archetype all men respond to subconsciously, but is it any better? not really, its just a materialistic illusion.

Promiscuity and sexual experience has taught many high functioning men not to be allured by the material by desensitisation and over exposure to sex which is readily available. Can you imagine a society where woman forced men to wait for sex with the promise of their entirety? Every man would want to get married and every woman would hold stupendous power.

All action should stem from appreciation and love of the individual, not lust over an individual. Physical seduction holds little value now because its free anyways, waiting for it is not worth it because you realise a younger version of the seductress in this society would give it away freely without a casual partner having to work for it. Why should you work twice as hard for something which was once given out for free, knowing that even if you had an infinite supply of it, it wouldn't bring happiness. Focusing on the inner and appreciating the individual will not only free you from your physical/material desires, but also lead to a less dependent life and greater freedom. Live, love and let live. Peace.

cloudydays84 · 2020-05-17T23:42:41+00:00

The frustrated incel isn't getting any of that. Maybe there are some male virgins with girlfriends who just haven't had sex yet but mostly when we're talking about sexless men who are angry and bitter about it, they're not getting any companionship from women at all.

When women complain about not getting commitment they're leaving out the fact that they're still getting everything else leading up to that. Sexless men may have trouble even meeting women or having a basic conversation with them. They're not even getting to the first step.

But you admit then that you're talking about two different things. Sexlessness is different than being socially and romantically inept. The latter is likely going to cause sexlessness, but they aren't one in the same.

The guy who is able to have and maintain healthy social relationships with people and could get romantic and committed relationships but wants yet can't get casual sex, is no different than the woman who can get easy and casual sex and male thirst/attention but wants yet can't get a committed relationship.

So basically the guy here probably has a female companion that they want to have sex with (most likely casually) that doesn't want to have sex with them. The girl however has a male companion that they want to have a relationship with but the guy doesn't want that, they only want sex. That's a 1-to-1 comparison.

For the guys that aren't getting any sex because they are completely unable to approach and talk to women I'd say that they'd probably be more comparable to what I'd say would be a woman that never get romanced and approached for anything. Going off what I've seen and generalizing a little that's how most femcels seem to define their life as.

Red_Pill_Dynamics · 2020-05-18T00:17:16+00:00

The problem is, sex is easily and readily attainable and won't ruin either party if the feeling is mutual and things end.

A commitment on the other hand, can be disastrous - especially if it leads to marriage & then divorce and then especially for the man.

If and I mean IF more women were worth it, more men would commit. The sad truth is, there are very, very few women today that are worth it long-term.

I know a lot of females say they don't like sex, but what many men fail to realize, is they really mean they don't like sex with "certain" men - like their husbands. BUT, they definitely like a different kind of man because they sure do a lot of cheating, and for women to say they don't like or enjoy sex, that's quite the paradox.

Not to mention all these same females ride the CC from their late teens until they hit the wall. That's quite a bit of women riding quite a bit of dick to "not like it".

Beyond the veil, women want to lock down a quality male and even a substantial commitment from a man isn't that; they want it all - until they get it, decide they're not really happy and want to move on, and you know, branch.

Smart men avoid these certain things because unfortunately, we're the gatekeepers of relationships yet stand to lose the most when it progresses fully and at the hands of the one we opened the gate for.

prunusamygdalis · 2020-05-18T00:03:45+00:00

Nope. I'd literally (and do) choose celibacy over casual sex. I get nothing out of it whatsoever. I get that you can't conceptualize that, because you think with your dick. But it is true for myself and many other women.

sublimemongrel · 2020-05-18T01:52:54+00:00

Women do not get “companionship and human contact” by being used and discarded for sex alone when that is not what they want. You can’t see this (I guess) because you can’t envision it so why pretend you would know?

ontherailstoday · 2020-05-18T12:14:26+00:00

> The frustrated incel isn't getting any of that.

What none of it... not even if he is willing to be an orbiter of a girl he thinks is too ugly to fuck?

LillthOfBabylon · 2020-05-18T03:55:04+00:00

But they're missing the fact that it's not all about the sex and that all sorts of other important aspects of companionship,

PROVE IT. If all I see are men whining about sex, I'll automatically think all he wants is sex and I will be unimpressed with his primal motives. Those guys are actual SIMPs.

but mostly when we're talking about sexless men who are angry and bitter about it, they're not getting any companionship from women at all.

BECAUSE THEY'RE ASSHOLES.

They dont value companionship. Look up Southpark's Heidi and Cartman. Cartman only wanted Heidi around so he wasn't lonely. Otherwise, he was an abusive jackass.

AnonPinkLady · 2020-05-18T01:01:09+00:00

Men really do just use and objectify us. You really have a false idea of what it's like to be a woman. Even partners I've been in deep long term relationships, ended up just to have lead me for years and used me for the sex. This entire post operates under the assumption that were all secretly getting spoiled by the men that use us and that we're just whining because they won't marry us. But we get used. Constantly. And it's definitely not better. It's why I've been celibate for 6 months. It's easier to be celibate than be used over and over again. I've always been envious that men GET to date women. I'm bi but I really really struggle trying to find other LGBT women to connect with and when I do they're often really into stuff that I'm not because LGBT often comes with other progressive or rebellious outlooks (not being a hater, I'm a bisexual woman. Just saying). You get to date and be with women. These beautiful romantic creatures I mean I hate that. One in fifty men has a single romantic bone in his body. The rest just want to use me.

You want men to stop being so damn lonely? Stop using us. Stop thinking about commitment like some thing we dont deserve. Get your shit together and stop sleeping around on women. You're revealing the problem already, you don't want to commit and yet you want our companionship.

Men created this society where you use and walk all over and then you cry that it's so fucking lonely treating women like that. God I wonder why.

AutoModerator · 2020-05-17T18:25:03+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Timeless119 · 2020-05-18T00:24:10+00:00

There are those men that actually don’t enjoy sex! They don’t like touching, kissing, are not into learning hat turns their woman on. These men think that what they know about pleasing a woman( which is nothing!)is “ one size fits all!” These are the men that boast of their ability but yet know nothing!! Just needed to put this out there!!

Reisiluu · 2020-05-18T12:16:29+00:00

Men can give money to a twitch thot and listen to her and look at her cute body. She might even respond to your messages and have meet ups with fans. Some e thots share erotic content and will talk to you in private. You get some of the aspects of a relationship, minus the sex and monogamy. It may not be the whole deal but it's something so I don't get why men complain that they can't get any female contact.

NewWayNow · 2020-05-18T17:04:00+00:00

The premise about women being unable to get commitment is flawed in the first place. Women are the gatekeepers of everything at this point.

Have you seen how many simps are running around desperate to get with a woman?

Women sometimes have trouble securing commitment from a man they think is worthy.

In many cases that's because she has unrealistically high standards given what she brings to the table. (Thank the modern culture, social media, etc.)

In other cases, she simply sees no reason to get with someone she doesn't consider good enough. She makes her own money, has her own place to live, can get sex any time. Why commit to somebody she doesn't admire?

2020-05-18T23:35:35+00:00

% of men who are gate keepers of commitment = 5%

% of women who are gate keepers of sex = 100%

hedgybaby · 2020-05-19T23:32:18+00:00

I think you forgot there for a second that people who don’t do one nighr stands exist.

hedgybaby · 2020-05-19T23:36:40+00:00

Yo this entire conversation yall are having is trash. All of a sudden every women NEEDS love and intimacy in order to have sex and every dude has commitment issues? The fuck?

Have you never talked to other people in real life? Have you mever met a girl that doesn’t like romance and only wants to hook up with random people? Have you never met a guy who just wants a loving relationship with his girlfriend? Because I have.

Since when are men and women two different kind of species with completely different needs that apparently completely exclude each other.

And most importantly, why was this in my feed, I’ve never seen this subreddit before?!

Pola_Lita · 2020-05-18T00:09:32+00:00

Sexless men may have trouble even meeting women or having a basic conversation with them. They're not even getting to the first step.

A lot of women here dismiss the idea that sex is easy for women to get by saying that sex doesn't have much value for women and they often don't enjoy it.

But they're missing the fact that it's not all about the sex and that all sorts of other important aspects of companionship, physical contact, and emotional bonding come along with the sex and generally precede it.

You're describing the same event from both sides here, but the last is applicable to both sides. If sex isn't enjoyable, the cuddling and companionship isn't likely to be enjoyable either. And if it is, she's got to be cuddling with someone so that's one less man going without physical contact and affection as well.

901735 · 2020-05-18T15:27:42+00:00

It is irrelevant that women cannot get commitment. In terms of continuation of the human species. Females are ultragiga entitled and have literally nothing to offer in return for what they're asking for in the vast majority of cases.

Casual tinder hookups might start out with a text conversation, then meeting in person for drinks and getting to know each other, physical escalation, kissing, sex, and maybe cuddling and talking after.

Yeah, wow. Username, "grandma", confirmed.

The reality is that commitment is the endgame and the most serious important level of a relationship.

What is this relationship thing you're talking about? It's gone. Bye bye. Over. The end.

Title	Being unable to get commitment is not comparable to being unable to get sex.
Author	grandmapurp
Upvotes	90
Comments	187
Date	May 17, 2020 6:25 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/glkgrv/being_unable_to_get_commitment_is_not_comparable/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/being-unable-to-get-commitment-is-not-comparable.665861 https://theredarchive.com/post/665861

Comments