CMV: Aging means committment is based on false advertising

frimaire_ · 2022-04-26T08:24:20+00:00

I mean, your “10/10” is from a movie 10 years ago in glamorous full makeup and perfect lighting, while your “7/10” is…. from a courtroom trial. People DO age. Men and women alike. Amber Heard is kind of strange evidence to use because Johnny Depp is also not… an actor who has aged well. He was once beautiful. Now he’s super bloated from alcohol/drug use, and his career fell off a cliff because he phoned in all his acting. He’s definitely not looking half as good as his former female costars like Winona Ryder.

Some people take care of their bodies and minds and continue improving themselves. And some don’t. Try looking at people who aren’t public disasters like AH and JD. Like Cate Blanchett or Nicole Kidman, who are radiant in their 50s and have thriving careers. Or Brad Pitt, who is a svelte 58 year-old. If anything, I’d say famous women tend to stay in great shape far more as they age than men (Leo DiCaprio vs any woman his age lol) because they won’t get roles if they have any pudge.

Weird to act as if only a woman will age after “commitment.” Do you think men remain 25 forever?

As for the point of commitment, I find the idea exciting of seeing how both parties grow over time together, how we help each other improve and learn through the years, and how our bodies change in to natural, beautiful ways. Because a lot of people become wiser and shine brighter through the years. Some don’t, but I wouldn’t get into an LTR with people whose personalities trend that way.

Gravel_Roads · 2022-04-26T08:23:59+00:00

This is only a problem if you only value your partner for their looks.

People age. If happens to everyone - not just women, but you're gonna get old and baggy too, bro. Luckily, when you're actually in a relationship, you'd be surprised to find only about .5% of your time is devoted to sex. The other 99.5% of the time, you're doing other things with your partner like watching TV, having meals, traveling, talking ect.

You get used to the face of the person you see everyday. No matter how beautiful or how ugly a person is, you acclimate to their face, and it stops mattering. It just becomes a face you're familiar with - like any other family member or long-term friend. It doesn't mean you stop liking that person - if anything, that feeling of familiarity tends to be even better than anonymous beauty.

Committing to an exciting 10/10 to end up with a delusional and deeply resentful 7/10 is complete insanity.

It's "insanity" to stay with someone who ends up delusional/deeply resentful regardless of how they look. However, it's also insanity to assume that because it happened to Johnny Depp, it'll happen in every relationship.

The biggest issue with this post is that it seems to imply Amber's looks are the problem instead of, y'know... her behavior.

NockerJoe · 2022-04-26T08:12:42+00:00

Depp and Heard are both in like the top 1% of looks even for people a decade younger than them if not more. Their relationshio didn't die because they aged, it died because she was a crazy person and literally shit the bed.

gate18 · 2022-04-26T10:15:28+00:00

If she looked hot in the second photo what would it change?

And have you ever slept with a woman? in the morning did she look like a movie star in a seductive scene?

People, people, people.

Why all this pretense? What's the reason?

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2022-04-26T08:14:36+00:00

false advertising requires deception. we all know aging happens.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-04-26T09:01:38+00:00

No it isn't. We are all aware that people age and the effects this might have. Nobody is lying to anyone else that they are immortal. And who is even scamming whom considering that both people age in a relationship? Depp doesn't look as great as his younger self either. (Not that comparing film pictures to real life pictures us even fair.) It's not like someone's not the same person you married any more or is some husk just because they look a bit different, and if you married someone for their looks only abd expected them to never change that is completely your own problem.

kittenated · 2022-04-26T09:52:48+00:00

Johnny Depp married an abuser.

The obvious fact that your first "source" is footage of her acting in a literal movie aside, it's common for abusers to present as perfect angels at the start of the relationship, lovebombing and building trust, only then to turn crazy once the trust has been earned.

Committing to another person is a risk.

Sometimes it's worth it, sometimes it isn't.

ChessClubChick · 2022-04-26T08:19:07+00:00

First of all, assigning numeric ratings to human attractiveness is an exercise in futility as attractiveness is contextual and nuanced. Your view of Amber Heard's attractiveness is >your opinion< that you are trying to present as some kind of an objective truth where there isn't any.

Second, people grow up and change. It is completely normal for people to grow more contemplative with age. A spouse becoming "less exciting" is only a problem if you yourself stopped growing as a person or are going through a midlife crisis and trying to relive your youth.

Third, if you are serious about your relationship, mutual understanding, respect and support take precedence over superficial attraction. Your partner is supposed to be your #1 teammate, not just a pretty picture to gawk at.

Fourth, people generally become more knowledgeable, emotionally mature and financially successful with age, not less. Your view of Amber Heard being a "husk" of what she "once was" is based solely on your biased view of women as nothing more than pretty things to stare at. In reality relationships are about so much more that what the red pill bros try to reduce them to.

Start seeing women as your fellow humans instead of second-class citizens and you will realize that relationships are a wonderful adventure, not a transaction.

Orange_Paisley · 2022-04-26T15:39:52+00:00

I love how men ACT like they don't get older, lose their hair, get wrinkles, paunchy bellies, lose their erections, etc. No, only women get old.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-04-26T10:00:16+00:00

Everyone know everyone ages, I really don’t understand why this seems a shock to you.

People can become less fun as they get older but not everyone you need to work at it. Also peoples ideas of fun can change, 15 years ago I hated gardening, now I like it, luckily so does my husband.

Does he look the same? No do I no. Do we still have amazing sex? Yes Maybe not as often we have a large family and that can be exhausting

We still date, and travel and laugh together. What we have I would never swap for a hot 20 year old.

AelfredRex · 2022-04-26T11:03:11+00:00

Love is certainly a lost concept here. Just marry a statue. It'll never age and you'll never form an emotional attachment with it.

2022-04-26T17:20:03+00:00

Unless she was in denial that she was a human being who aged like a human being - how is that 'false advertising' ?

EulenWatcher · 2022-04-26T08:19:46+00:00

Let's compare how one looks in a movie clip and during a trial where they're accused in physically abusing their ex-husband. That will be objective, sure. Also no, he didn't marry her in 2011, they married in 2015 and a year later they got divorced. His issue isn't her appearance, but abuse between them and the backslash he received.

Returning to the topic you want to discuss, people actually are aware about aging process. Both partners are affected by it and pulling off hot young partners all the time isn't really realistic neither for men or women. It also doesn't help you with your long-term goals, if you hope to have family, kids, deep emotionally connection.

And no, not all men or women turn out bitter later in their marriages. They also usually don't turn out bitter for no reason. Accumulated resentment is the reason in most cases. You can reduce the risks to end up like this by choosing athe right person and by working on your relationship. For it people should look for more than visual attractiveness or wild allure. These things clearly didn't help Depp.

KikiYuyu · 2022-04-26T08:18:03+00:00

So you would just stop loving your parents or your best friend if they aged? Clearly the problem lies with your insane and miserable way of viewing life. You're just going to be sad and alone if you keep this up.

wtknight · 2022-04-26T11:11:49+00:00

Men and women ideally gradually decline together, so the idea is that they continue to be with their equal. Men will argue that they age like wine, but most men really do not have the self-discipline to age like that, and some women do have the self-discipline to age well themselves while their male partners do not.

Your aging complaint is only a problem when either one partner declines much worse than the other, or when both partners decline so badly that they can no longer stand each other.

Of course, some separations aren't due to decline but because two people change and are no longer the same people who they once were, or because they never really knew each other that well to begin with, or just because they can't handle life's stresses together very well. It's not always about aging.

cuckedalt · 2022-04-26T15:36:44+00:00

false advertising

Did you just learn about aging today

ruboyuri · 2022-04-26T15:57:07+00:00

Nope

Everyone knows people age

Believing otherwise is delusional

MrMushySauce · 2022-04-26T15:57:33+00:00

The title of this thread is one of those classic instances when someone says something that's wrong but for whatever reason like the logic "fits" and leaves you in an awkward position to debate lol.

Other examples:

"Hitler wasn't all bad; he killed the worst person in the world"

"People dying is good; we have overpopulation"

"We don't know if the athlete is good; the coach hasn't put him in"

Like yes, people age after they commit. But I wouldn't call it false advertising? It's not like anyone thinks your appearance is immutable forever.

ChessClubChick · 2022-04-26T17:06:00+00:00

Want to compare Johnny Depp at his "21 Jump Street" looks vs. the coked-up, hard-drinking, bloated almost 60-year-old he is now?

Men do not stay youthful forever either. And at some point, their relationships become increasingly transactional until they become Johnny Depp and his very opportunistic wife.

Dapper_Art_8269 · 2022-04-26T10:52:13+00:00

Johnny Depp looks much, much worse than he used to. He aged horribly. So it's not like he can complain.

RealNiceLady · 2022-04-26T11:06:49+00:00

: Aging means committment is based on false advertising

I hope you realize that you fall in love with people for more than just looks.

For what it's worth Amber Heard didn't really age in her relationship with Johnny Depp.

Beyond base physical attraction, aging deletes all the fun, airy, exciting, motivating elements of femininity that make relationships with women worthwhile for men.

All it does is mess up appearance. Everything else stays the same or gets better.

A pale mimic forever mourning the loss of her former power, forever reminding you of a period of your life that will never return?

That only happens if no one commits to her.

Lysa_Bell · 2022-04-26T11:24:36+00:00

Don't commit to a person then. Nobody forces you to get married or whatever if you only like them in that specific state of being.

bangitybangbabang · 2022-04-26T14:53:38+00:00

This will stop being a problem when you value people beyond their physical attractiveness

jah-roole · 2022-04-26T18:59:51+00:00

Why are posts on this sub so fucking stupid?

You know there is more to people than what they looked like 10 years ago in a Hollywood frame vs a phone pic. Posts like this is precisely why you never get pussy and even when you do it’s on the low side of mediocre with a whole lot of luck. Women are a lot more open to men who actually like women 🤦‍♂️

KirthWGersen · 2022-04-26T07:59:24+00:00

It cuts both ways though: men and women both age. People commit partly because they want to be accepted as they age; and so they promise to accept the other as they age.

Having said that, it is not for me: the purest form of commitment is one in which there are no obligations. You are with someone because you choose to be, not because you have to be. The only thing worse than being with someone you don't want to be with, is to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. The only way you can know for certain is if the other party is free to go their own way at any time.

Hence, in my opinion, unmarried commitments without financial entanglements are the purest form of love.

randodeez54311 · 2022-04-26T11:15:24+00:00

Oof

Obvious pedo is obvious

Sorry R. Kelly, girls grow up. Deal with it or stay single.

Jakes1967 · 2022-04-26T08:57:03+00:00

CMV: Aging means committment is based on false advertising

Wrong, commitment based purely on youth and beauty, is mercenary by its very nature.

Based on wedding vows namely; "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part", You have true commitment.

Unfortunately today western marriage is completely fickle, based purely on fantasy and instant gratification.

neetykeeno · 2022-04-26T09:32:52+00:00

Yeah well...Depp's a pretendian. So... whatever?

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-04-26T12:18:18+00:00

Lol Yeah let’s compare a woman playing a character in a movie, in perfect lighting, with how she looks while on trial after an extremely difficult last few years. Nobody feels “vibrant” when their ex husband is accusing them of abuse and defamation. (I’m not siding with either of them here btw, just a fact it’s clearly been rough on both.)

That being said, aging is a fact of life that will happen eventually no matter what, and if it bothers you that much I agree you shouldn’t marry. Marriage is not about looks in general, if that’s your priority then once again, don’t marry. But Depp and Heard didn’t divorce because of aging, so this is kind of a weird take.

Edit: Also... it might be worth considering WHY many women tend to lose their joie de vivre so to speak after marriage (and usually before physical aging takes place). If a man wants his wife to stay carefree, he better not be dumping a bunch of cares on her, ya know? And that’s what usually happens, in my observations.

AutoModerator · 2022-04-26T07:51:07+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2022-04-26T07:51:07+00:00

Hi OP,

You've chosen to identify your thread as a CMV. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. PPD has guidelines for what that involves.

OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.

An unwillingness to have your view challenged may be inferred from one or several of the following:

Asking few or no genuine questions;

Seeming more interested in arguing or convincing others than understanding opposing views;

Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency;

Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit;

Focusing only on the weaker arguments;

Explicit statements of an intent to change the other posters’ minds; or

Only having discussions with users who agree with your position.

Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to CMV OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Mondholm · 2022-04-26T08:34:49+00:00

Why not break up if you're not attracted to your partner anymore?

johnnyferrera · 2022-04-26T10:45:51+00:00

Mate how old are you, most people today can look great well into their 50s if the work hard for it. And I don't mean they look great for the age, they just look great period.

Odd-Dark · 2022-04-26T11:25:04+00:00

Amber Heard is 36 years old. There's not a lot of people that are attractive at that age, and those who are, are usually men that do the "mature" look. She still looks fine. Some genetic freaks can look great until 50. I had a teacher in HS pushing 30 that looked not a day older than 18. If your beef is with how women age, find someone with good genes that doesn't drink and smoke. If your beef is with aging in general, I don't know what to tell you. People age, unfortunately.

Besides, committing to someone for a long time where we trade youth for emotional connection and love sounds like a good deal to me. As long as she's not one of those that run off a cliff after 30 and become hags.

neetykeeno · 2022-04-26T14:58:38+00:00

That image had some post production help for sure.

sarkington · 2022-04-26T15:53:09+00:00

Take the agepill bro

Dramatic-Emu-1196 · 2022-04-26T19:18:05+00:00

pretty angry post, ngl. Reality isn't that simple mate. And amber heard is still a 9/10, what are you smoking

badgersonice · 2022-04-27T00:31:49+00:00

Yeah, I remember when my nephew was like 5 and found out all in one day that bridges get old and eventually fall down, and that people get old and die too.

It was a pretty hard day for him, but he learned to accept the reality of time and aging. I’m sure you’ll be able to accept this challenging lesson too, someday, even if you’re surprisingly old to just be figuring out that people don’t look 18 forever and don’t love for ever.

I’m kinda curious though: where did you think old people come from before you realized women age?

chalkandapples · 2022-04-27T11:00:06+00:00

This is a weird way of thinking about human relationships. Think about your mom, or dad. I don't know how old you are, but assuming they're older now. They probably can't do as much for you as they used to. They have less energy now. This will only get worse as they get older. Do you / will you love them less because of that?

DeviledEggy · 2022-04-28T06:21:55+00:00

Please never enter a long term serious relationship or marriage. People age it's normal. If you date purely for just looks alone you're gonna end up having to bounce from one woman to the next and ultimately die alone just because you don't like women ageing like normal human beings. despite amber being a horrible person etc, As if you'd pass up on someone who looked like amber heard because she has some wrinkles or eyebags, it's a bit cringe dude.

Title	CMV: Aging means committment is based on false advertising
Author	ChessClubChick
Upvotes	0
Comments	221
Date	April 26, 2022 7:51 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/uc7a5w/cmv_aging_means_committment_is_based_on_false/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-aging-means-committment-is-based-on-false.1113376 https://theredarchive.com/post/1113376

Comments