Do most men here come from married two parent homes?

torytho · 2026-05-13T18:51:44+00:00

I do. But I'm gay, so marriage was never a thought growing up.

GyrosEnjoyer · 2026-05-13T18:52:33+00:00

They're still married, which is relatively uncommon among their friends

Gravel_Roads · 2026-05-13T18:37:00+00:00

I don’t. My mom and dad divorced due to dad cheating. I was raised by a single mom.

Grow_peace_in_Bedlam · 2026-05-13T18:49:10+00:00

I did. As blew up in another thread, I found out that my dad did some cheating in my childhood and adolescence before he and my mom went to therapy to deal with my dad's passive-aggressiveness and my mom's rage, but they hid it well, to the point I didn't know until years after my mom was dead. As far as I could tell, they were a perfectly normal, happily married couple.

So yes, I thought marriage was a given. I think I also thought that being able to have the same trappings of middle class stability that the Boomers enjoyed was a given until I was a few months out of college.

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2026-05-13T18:58:11+00:00

My parents are still married, conservative (almost but not-quite MAGA) evangelical christians, both claim to have saved themselves for marriage (And I'd say I confidently believe them), raised their voices at each other 1 time that I can remember. Fox news is on in the background when I'm visitng. mom was a homemaker, dad ran his own business.

My dad is also a little bit of a pushover/yes-man though, and my mom ran the house and finances. She could be a little over-critical and negative at times. That being said, I love them and they are both good people with a few flaws who tried their best and IMO did a damn good job compared to what I'd consider "the average" boomer couple.

Unique-Afternoon6316 · 2026-05-13T19:09:37+00:00

I come from a traditional household where my mom is the homemaker and my dead is the breadwinner. They had two kids in cul-de-sac and a brown fence, not a white one, lol. Anyway, my parents have been married longer than I've been alive and all but one of their friends have remained in their first marriage. I guess I never thought it wouldn't happen for me, but I did not want a traditional woman nor to be a traditional man. I don't especially like the dynamic my dad has with my mom.

MonochromaticPrism · 2026-05-13T21:23:58+00:00

Yes. Seeing how you clarified what you are looking for in another comment, I'll try to give the info you are looking for:

A good part of my frustration is likely due to the misalignment of my own experiences and the (well meaning) advice of my parents and their own descriptions of how they navigated their youth. Such information was passed on under the assumption that it would be useful, and I further sought to invest my personal efforts as they and other mentor figures recommended, prioritizing good grades in undergraduate schooling, pursing a graduate education in STEM, and now approaching the final stages of my PhD. I also tried to make good on the social component of this period, involving myself in optional social activities I valued, such as choir, volunteering, college clubs, and student leadership.

A not insignificant part of my dismay is that I feel as though core components of how "being young" was explained to me failed to occur due to a mix of the above, the "socialization opportunities" that my parent spoke of seeming to not exist, and not drinking or otherwise using any substances (family has history of addiction). The social activities I listed succeeded in giving me yet more useful skills, but I found the socialization itself lacking, and none of it lead to relationships that lasted.

I arrived here (age 31, Zillenial) having followed in good faith all the advice the adults/elders in my life, both parents and mentors, gave me across my youth, only to find that the last decade of my life (the very period that is supposed to be the most full) has been a mostly lonely one.

......

To offer an aside as to why I am here in PPD specifically, I started looking into the information related to how relationships "actually occur" following my own frustrations over the lack of interest I have received from young women. On paper I seemed to have ample green flags (both intelligent and compassionate, promising career trajectory, desirable secondary skills like cooking which have displayed when possible) yet I was never approached by any young women nor can I think back to any signals or interactions that would have indicated interest (no, while not handsome I'm not ugly either, and yes, about half of my friend group were women so I shouldn't have scanned as unsafe either). This was quite frustrating as I seemed to possess the majority of desirable traits cited by women in what information I could look up and through most conversations I had where I brought up the subject of which traits are important/desirable. This is part of why I identify as Purple Pill. I disagree with a lot of the reasoning behind the RP's conclusions, but it's painfully clear that the BP/society is willfully ignoring at least some of the full picture on how all this actually works.

Gemini_zyx · 2026-05-13T19:04:33+00:00

My parents split when I was young and both have remarried.
My mum split because she fell in love with another man who is not my step-dad

AutisticRats · 2026-05-13T19:17:38+00:00

My parents aren't divorced, but they should have a long time ago. For a long time my parents made the same low income, so my mom never saw it as economically viable to get a divorce so she never filed for one. Now they are both just old and my mom doesn't see a point in a divorce since my dad will likely die soon from alcoholism.

I couldn't ever imagine me being married when I was growing up, or having kids. I finally can now, but I'm nearly 40 so we'll see if it ever happens. I've never thought of marriage as some kind of great thing. I got to see my brother go through a couple divorces and paying child support for each one so I was never excited by the concept of marriage. As I get older and meet more people, it does seem a bit more appealing now.

fucksiclepizza · 2026-05-13T19:18:16+00:00

No, mine divorced when I was at high school because my dad kept cheating.

70sJungleBush · 2026-05-13T19:42:18+00:00

I can’t answer for most. But for me at least, yes I do.

Zabadoodude · 2026-05-13T19:52:29+00:00

Yes, my parents are still married.

I always thought marriage and kids were an option for me if I wanted that.

LysanderAegis · 2026-05-13T20:26:01+00:00

Mine are still happily married.

SeemedGood · 2026-05-14T02:32:19+00:00

Yes. Grew up in a married 2 parent home, as did the significant majority of my peers. My parents divorced after my siblings and I graduated college, much to our relief because our mother was abusive.

RelevantJackWhite · 2026-05-13T18:44:29+00:00

my parents are divorced, i was raised by mom until she lost custody, after which i was raised by dad and my stepmom

SentinelATL · 2026-05-13T18:49:41+00:00

My parents have been together for over 40 years.

growframe · 2026-05-13T18:53:54+00:00

Mine divorced

Hot-Law2682 · 2026-05-13T20:17:14+00:00

I do.

No divorces at all in my immediate family for the last two generations.

No divorces among my parent's friends, though one couple is in a semi-open marriage.

hexdeedeedee · 2026-05-13T21:08:35+00:00

Nah they split when i was 4, both had their turn at raising me solo.

Marriage is an IQ test that you pass by not taking.

StopTheIncels · 2026-05-13T21:19:37+00:00

I have kinda of an interesting parental story. Parents are divorced, but Mom 'remarried' in practice but no on paper. Both her and the fucked-up Step-dad have perished due to poor health outcomes.

My Dad turned down his hot secretary he was dating after the divorce (she was the weird blonde woman that showed up all of a sudden, but I never met her personally) for a family citing my brother's and I were enough.

Ironically, my mother wanted more kids just not with my Dad, and my Dad wanted more kids but my Mom said no. Every one of my aunts and uncles on BOTH sides are all generally happily married.

sincerityappreciator · 2026-05-13T18:37:12+00:00

dont you think theres a chance that a question like this will attract men from two parent homes while men from one parent households will just skip it? in any case, i am from a two parent household yes. i used to dream about being like my father but im not so sure anymore.

anonymousppd123123 · 2026-05-13T19:02:55+00:00

Yup. Trp is a manual for stem betas to get laid so I bet disproportionately TRPers will be in the same boat (because stem beta apples dont fall far from the tree)

winter_lover28 · 2026-05-13T18:54:37+00:00

Nah, my parents divorced. My mom remarried, then she got divorced again. I’ve never really seen love or truly experienced it, so that’s why I don’t believe in it. Sleeping with a lot of women and casual sex sounds better to me.

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These_Rent_2503 · 2026-05-13T22:20:13+00:00

They separated after I moved out.

TopShelfSnipes · 2026-05-13T23:33:03+00:00

Have two parents but they weren't great role models and their marriage (despite the fact they're still together) is far from exemplary.

In a lot of cases, watching them taught me what I didn't want to do with my own life, and I had to find other role models probably from adolescence.

Joelypoely88 · 2026-05-14T00:40:48+00:00

Interestingly my dad has been divorced 3 times in his life. I did initially grow up with both parents, though they divorced when I was about 15.

Jetpine9 · 2026-05-14T00:57:23+00:00

Parents divorced, remarried, I lived with the grands for a while. Never envisioned or wanted to marry even from an early age. Still a romantic in some ways, but not that way.

Ill-Investigator9546 · 2026-05-14T01:16:31+00:00

Yes. But my dad is a beta.

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2026-05-14T06:51:44+00:00

Both parent married, and yes marriage was always a part of the plan

Illustrious_Wish_383 · 2026-05-14T07:04:36+00:00

My parents are still married. They met each other in high school.

Neverending_Danding · 2026-05-14T09:13:30+00:00

My parents are together. They had their ups and downs, but the still are together, and as far as i can tell - they love each other. Most of my peers also come from married two parents homes. There are some divorces, but not many and usually later in life.

> how many men in this sub say they always grew up thinking they would get married and have children.

Well, i was being told that pretty much since birth. It was like a guarantee. Of course, when i got older (meaning like teen years) i realized it's bullshit, but the "programming" was already done and i still catch myself thinking why I am not worthy enough of having happy family life. The fact that my parents still believe it's a given doesn't help, because every visit consist of "when you finally get a wife", and they can't understand dating and relationships changed.

> It reminds me a bit of people complaining that they can’t afford to buy a home, which does suck, but sometimes stems from folks not being able to have the same purchasing power as their parents.

At least they don't whine about me not having my own house or even a flat, because they also didn't buy theirs themselves, but rather inherited. And the main idea is i will inherit their house.

Trancetastic16 · 2026-05-14T13:04:33+00:00

My father cold approached my mother when she was 14 and he was 17 at the shopping mall, when cold approaching is already an anomaly, was back then as well, and such an age gap would be frowned upon today.

Both through observation of media, and most older adult generations being paired-up, it was a wake-up call for me and many other Gen Z males that it turns out most women aren’t attracted to most men, and most women were actually married due to Compulsive Heterosexual societal pressure that continues to linger till today, and that a Looks-matched partner who desires the man equally (or at least satisfactorily due to him having the higher libido from Testosterone) was always an unrealistic pipe-dream that humanity thought was the standard due to 6,000 years of patriarchy since the dawn of Agriculture in Ancient Mesopotamia.

I don’t think most modern western women and men could have had many ways of predicting that this would be the case, when women who tried to bring it up in the past were silenced, and it’s unrealistic to expect people to adjust to this immediately without at least some natural disappointment, before moving onto other pursuits.

DzejSiDi · 2026-05-14T14:13:33+00:00

My father was absent basically my whole and then rather quickly dead. For sure one of the reasons why I needed to ask the internet to figure stuff out.

mysterycode · 2026-05-14T17:52:43+00:00

[permanently deleted]

mysterycode · 2026-05-14T18:05:30+00:00

23M, basically all of my friends male and female have this presumption, and they come from a mix of two married parents, divorce, single mothers, etc.

Many of my friends around my age actually are married and have kids already.

In my experience and in the experience of my friends not receiving this sort of affirmation from our society is grounds for suicidal ideation.

Within the last year I moved to Portland OR and some 23 year old having a kid out here that wasn't an accident seems far-fetched, but it's far more normal in my hometown, which I think is heartwarming.

silly_discus · 2026-05-14T18:35:53+00:00

Two parents, emotionally absent dad and domineering mother but i love them both and it’s more than what many people have.

A lot of ppl like that psychoanalyzing thing where whatever happened in childhood determines everything when sometimes its about what did or didnt happen afterwards, what promises didn’t get fulfilled

Dense_Ad_6283 · 2026-05-13T22:36:20+00:00

Divorced, dad is an incel and mom is a femcel afaik

Title	Do most men here come from married two parent homes?
Author	AnimalLoose2402
Upvotes	9
Comments	92
Date	May 13, 2026 6:29 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1tc8eqy/do_most_men_here_come_from_married_two_parent/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-most-men-here-come-from-married-two-parent.1580326 https://theredarchive.com/post/1580326

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