Don't complain about NiceGuysTM if you're a TimeHoeTM

storffish · 2017-09-26T18:35:52+00:00

I have a theory about this. women and men have vastly different concepts of friendship. my buddies and I have shared activities we like to do and a few inside jokes but otherwise our friendships aren't that deep. we don't fight, we let go of bullshit easily, we don't take up too much of each other's time, and we don't share our feelings. if shit got real for me I have no doubt they'd let me crash on their couch but they wouldn't be much for emotional support. theyd listen if I had to vent or cry but it'd be weird as fuck. male friendships just aren't emotionally deep like that.

women, though, they get real with their friends. my sisters and their friends will dissect a social interaction and "what so-and-so meant when she said that" for hours. they talk about feelings, they have pet names for each other, their friendships are deeper than half of my relationships. they spot each other at brunch, give each other rides places, show up when they haven't heard from the other in a while, stage interventions when one of them "seems depressed," all that is part of a normal friendship for them. that's when they're getting along, of course. when they're not oh lord do they fight. like a couple fights when someone cheated, it gets ugly. that's just female friendship though.

so when guys find themselves being used by a female friend as an "emotional tampon" it's not some kind of unique treatment. girls are all each other's emotional tampons as a matter of course. he expects sexual favors because to him, his emotional involvement has gone beyond his concept of friendship and into relationship territory. he isn't used to having multiple emotionally involved friendships, so he's elevated this girl to girlfriend status when she has no intention of reciprocating. she treats him like she treats her girlfriends.

I think this is also why guys take breakups so much worse than chicks. they have all their close friends who will tell them how amazing and beautiful they are and go to get their nails done and buy her brunch and buy her drinks. you have your buddies to play videogames with, they'll tell you she was getting kinda fat anyway and then drop the subject.

uto-uto · 2017-09-26T18:26:54+00:00

honestly, the main reason NiceGuys get brought up now is men out of the blue white-knighting for them. i almost never see them mentioned otherwise, and any "demonization" comes from men totally misrepresenting what they are in their efforts to defend them (if not actively asking the community to challenge them on an idea about NiceGuys). don't bring them up in a debate and discussion sub if you don't want to hear any criticism about them.

besides, the women here who do complain about them are a) welcome to do so, and b) not remotely like what you've described above. you're preaching to the wrong crowd, and your time would be better spent telling men not to set themselves up for disappointment by making covert contracts with women instead.

NOTSM · 2017-09-26T18:54:04+00:00

Your boy Patrice O'Neal would say it's on the men to nut up and tell the woman to fuck off

SpaceWhiskey · 2017-09-26T19:17:37+00:00

Women also get criticized for cutting guys off early, can't win. If I had a nickel for every time a woman has cut to the chase with "Sorry I'm not interested/I have a boyfriend" only to be met with "I wasn't hitting on you anyway, you think you're hot shit??" well golly I'd have a shitload of nickels. Women are raised and molded by society to be polite, and polite means letting the nice boy hold the door because it'll hurt his pride if you don't. Only now that boy thinks he has a chance because that's how thirsty he is. You're a bitch if you smile because apparently that leads men on and you're a bitch if you don't. And now apparently you're a Time Hoe if you take friendship at face value. Some men actually do just genuinely want to be friends with women. More and more women are getting better at figuring out which of their friends secretly want to fuck them, but as long as guys keep pretending to be friends instead of making their intentions clear, we'll have this problem. Accidentally stringing boys along for friendship mostly stops being a thing after high school anyway as guys figure out how to adult and stop pussyfooting around the issue and learn how to ask women out properly. Solves itself, really.

boredthenyoureboring · 2017-09-26T18:32:28+00:00

I don’t think the genuine users and the ones complaining about nice guys are the same women

EsauTheRed · 2017-09-26T18:36:07+00:00

Women do not see things this way. Many do not realize they are stringing a guy along or do actually like him for the small thing he adds to her life, or likes to believe that the world is made of good selfless people who do things like that just because.

SeniorSwifty · 2017-09-26T21:16:43+00:00

Straight men are by nature wired to hunt that ass and women should be aware of that because it will usually be the case that a man wants you. However, I would not go as far as to say that our society's norm should be to accept that men always want sex if they interact with women or show kindness at all to them. As convenient as such a norm would be for straight men life is just too complicated for society to have that kind of absolute mind set. As a man, I have found great friendship with some women and with others wonderful sexual experiences. I have to say it comes down to your individual situation.

mgtownigga · 2017-09-27T11:54:24+00:00

this is a good point tbh. A lot of women know the score and they knowingly exploit these naive and deseprate men. Some women may be naive, but lol let's be honest: most of them know what's going on.

As someone that was used in the past, I feel like I can definitely say this with some certainty. They don't have ot cut you off entirely, but to use you as an emotional sponge and ask for favors, knowing full well youre naive and in love with them, is pretty uncalled for. I've had girls into me that i did not like at all, and I distanced myself from them and never, EVER allowed them to do favors for me lol. It's not too much to ask for women to do the same

Ultramegasaurus · 2017-09-26T18:55:46+00:00

Also don't accuse nice guys of feeling entitled when you throw fits if a guy who slept with you isn't interested in commitment. That's literally the female friendzone equivalent, but women are allowed to complain about that freely, engaging in general male bashing included.

ClarityofDisaster · 2017-09-26T18:52:54+00:00

They intentionally try to get attention, validation, money, gifts and favors from multiple guys at a time. They intentionally try to put guys on the backburner to have them do boyfriend activities KNOWING they want nothing to do with them or that they're really trying to get with another guy. And then when the guy gets upset when he realizes he's been strung along, he's the one that's manipulative? Not you? The one who's been using him for free dates, free food, endless favors, an emotional tampon and someone to entertain you when bored?

Of course that's fucking manipulative. Such behavior couldn't even be excused away as "but I thought he was just my friend!!!" because only assholes treat their friends that way. Friends don't expect to get free food, favors, emotional support, and then not give any in return. Hell, you shouldn't even treat a date that way.

LewisCross · 2017-09-26T19:01:30+00:00

SmurfESmurferson · 2017-09-26T18:26:25+00:00

Those guys paying for food, providing favors, etc? They're also the ones claiming that they just want to be friends with the girl.

And then they're shocked when she believes them.

Littleknownfacts · 2017-09-26T18:11:13+00:00

I disagree, at least in the case of young women (highschool and college). They aren't purposefully leading guys. Guys say they want to be friends with the woman, and the girl believes. So she treats him as she would one of her girl friends. I've heard stories of guys hanging out, holding hands, and even sharing a bed with girls. And of course guys interpret this as her sexual interest in him, or her leading him on. But it's not. That's just how gaggles of girls act with each other. It's completely plutonic female friendship. When a guy offers to pay for dinner or help her move she thinks she doesn't interpreted this as his advance on her, but rather she thinks "oh I'll pay him back in friendship". But her friendship is taken for interest and down the cycle it goes...

snailypop · 2017-09-26T18:47:25+00:00

Is agree with your larger message, but I want to argue against one point that I feel detracts from the issue.

Not you? The one who's been using him for free dates, free food, endless favors, an emotional tampon and someone to entertain you when bored?

Women genuinely want to be friends with the guy. They aren't using him for favors, they enjoy his company and I don't see anything wrong with that. Sometimes they might even be considering him as a potential romantic interest. The problem is that they are being dishonest about their intentions by offering passive encouragement and putting the guy in an extremely emotionally vulnerable position. It's unkind.

badnews4u · 2017-09-27T06:46:49+00:00

because women are children.

it all comes down to the way men act thats why they get the heat for everything. youll get your 20 upvotes but in the real world this is the hard reality some people just wont admit

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EliteSpartanRanger · 2017-09-26T18:39:20+00:00

Agreed, both niceguys and timehoe are annoying.

Most of us arent timehoes though, we're people who are actually looking for a friend.

Lolashaulke · 2017-09-26T19:34:47+00:00

I can't figure out what people want. If I notice a guy trying to get closer to me and I tell him "not interested" or "sorry, not looking to date" I'm called a bitch who gets yelled at because "he wasn't trying to hit on me". If I try to nicely turn him down, I'm called a bitch who led him on or told "I didn't mean it" and I have an extra fifty hours of work ahead getting him to leave me alone. If I don't turn him down at all overtly and try passively to do it, I'm apparently TimeHoeTM.

There's no win condition when it comes to turning guys down. This is why women wear fake wedding rings in public.

Janeyisamused · 2017-09-26T20:29:03+00:00

Any man on here complaining is doing so because they resent the power of pussy. It's like the muslim men who project their insecurities , their unrequited lust and their ever present anger at wanting what they can't have with ease. They don't want to take responsibility for these emotions-won't even recognize them. They just make the chicks wear burkas and put the onus on them. This is just a repackaging of the Eve/Lilith blame game. How unfortunate nature made you to be visually aroused. For you.

I can sense the bitterness here. It's sad and it keeps the gulf between us wide. Many men ( Not all-I know. Not all) would love to have American women (all women)put "back in their place" They slut shame us, demonize feminism, ugly shame us. They want the game set back up so THEY are the prize that all woman chase and claw after. They want us to eagerly reduce ourselves-make ourselves smaller in every way so they can feel bigger. Most are primitive and have primitive preoccupations. Chiefly their unimpressive cocks and poorly executed performances. They want all women to dance around it ceaselessly as though it were a maypole. They keep trying to set themselves up as the prize. They try and beat women down with cruel judgements -like rating them as a 4. Or discussing how we get spoiled riding the cock carousel or some such shite. The ride was seldom worth it btw. Shrug.

They are entirely preoccupied with us-and they hate us for it. Rape, pedos, molestation and petty revenge because we give it up to those WE choose. Few women do the above and the root of all evil is not money or women. It's you- the root is your greedy angry cocks. We are all born female and men mutate into what they are later in the womb. In general we are superior and they know it so being how they are they want to control us because they simply won't learn to control themselves. They don't think they should have to. After all-that's what makes them REAL men right?

Many of the men on here sound petulant and tedious. No doubt unsuccessful with women because they are mostly apes. Some can drive, read etc...but their nature is essentially unchanged where women have long ago surpassed them. It's why third world countries are just that. There is a direct correlation between how countries treat their women, children and animals. If they treat them well-the country becomes enlightened and successful. This only happens after women (feminist) get educated (which historically speaking many men in countries have tried to deny women. In the past, present and future) enlightened, get access to birth control and get together to say we are not buying into this limited world vision about who we are and how we are supposed to behave. For the convenience and ego appeasing of men.

Some of these men are very uncomfortable with ambiguity. There are no black and white rules. If you think ya'll set up the game then why hate the players? I guess all the women you judge to be fuckable should just line up as sacrifices and pray to be chosen. Expecting nothing in return. Love, respect, loyalty. Or even pleasure, gifts etc...Just because well...your you! Fabulous, fabulous you that has so much to offer us! The good news is in the near future (if you can afford it) you can all have compliant sex doll robots. Which is great because what will be left behind are real PEOPLE. Grown up men that actually like women. Thinning out the herd.

Try focusing on something else besides your meat tubes and us. You might be happier in the end.

Again I'm qualifying my above novella by saying I know full well that there are some great people out there. Good men. Thank the universe for them and please stay golden. You know who you are. I hope you are the ones who have daughters.

TheBookOfSeil · 2017-09-26T19:08:37+00:00

But most of these girls complaining about NiceGuysTM are TimeHoesTM.

All of them? Every single one? How do you know?

They intentionally lead guys on. They intentionally keep a dozen guys in their roster. They intentionally try to get attention, validation, money, gifts and favors from multiple guys at a time. They intentionally try to put guys on the backburner to have them do boyfriend activities KNOWING they want nothing to do with them or that they're really trying to get with another guy. And then when the guy gets upset when he realizes he's been strung along, he's the one that's manipulative?

So these "TimeHoes^TM " are essentially the same as Red Pill guys. What's the problem? It's alright for TRP guys to do it, but not women? Good to know.

If either side doesn't want to be taken advantage of, they need to protect themselves from people that would take advantage of them. Engaging in the same behavior as the side that you despise isn't a good solution to the problem.

If you've done all of this, you can't complain about NiceGuysTM. You're a TimeHoeTM. And guys are right to detest you.

So everyone admits that there are problems with both sides, correct? If you have a problem with it, learn to identify these people and stay away from them. Let them all congregate together and use each other.

pinkgoldrose · 2017-09-26T22:42:01+00:00

First of all, no girl is getting money, gifts, free dates and free food from a friend.

For favors, it's like in any friendship, if you're unsatisfied with the unequal distribution of favors, you're unsatisfied with the friendship, and you're free to spend less time with that friend. If your argument is "but I can't spend less time with her because I'm too thirsty for her", that's what's wrong with NiceGuysTM.

For the rest, emotional tampon and entertainment are mutual. These guys are using the girl as their emotional tampon much more than the opposite. These guys also go to the girl for entertainment. It's entitled to say you're being used when you give those things, but you should get those things from the girl.

rulenumber303 · 2017-09-26T22:26:38+00:00

Not you? The one who's been using him for free dates, free food, endless favors, an emotional tampon and someone to entertain you when bored?

Dude, if you don't want to go out for coffee with someone, listen to them complain about their love life or help them shift house, just say no. Say no as often as it takes to put those activities into the place you'd like them to have in your life. That's the way to do it. So long as you keep saying yes people are going to rightfully assume you are happy with the situation, and if you're willing to say no then no tantrum or resentment is needed on your part, just say no.

Women have to do this to men all the time. "Oh hey can I come back to your place and sleep on your couch so I don't have to take the train home?" "Hmmmm.... NO." It isn't rocket science. If you don't like where saying yes puts you, say no.

daveofmars · 2017-09-27T01:12:36+00:00

Yes there are women who lead men on only to get something out of him. True. They exist. But they are few compared to creepy guys getting oneitis for a girl who gave him just a bit of attention.

Those guys claim they were led on but I don't trust their perspective on the matter. Call it Desperation Bias or something like that. They are highly likely to misinterpret her actions and therefore are likely to misinterpret her motives after the fact. What I believe is true, the vast majority of the time, is a girl is nice to a guy, he is nice to her, she thinks he's being friendly, when in reality his intentions are deceptive, not the other way around.

Maikowski2 · 2017-09-27T09:23:56+00:00

Because this sub is 90 percent beta males. I agree, OP, there are as much horrible girls just as guys. Even my friends gf has this one orbiter who gives her presents almost every week even though she told him she's taken.

Title	Don't complain about NiceGuysTM if you're a TimeHoeTM
Author	windowsofthesoul
Upvotes	35
Comments	321
Date	September 26, 2017 6:04 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/72m6sv/dont_complain_about_niceguystm_if_youre_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dont-complain-about-niceguystm-if-youre-a.265923 https://theredarchive.com/post/265923

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