How do you split the finances?

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-01-16T14:07:39+00:00

We sat down early and wrote out a budget. Expenses, long term goals, wants, needs etc. then took our incomes and figured out together where to start putting things. Like a partnership working together.

Creation_Soul · 2024-01-16T14:13:22+00:00

before getting married, we each had our finances separate, but we had a joint account where we both contributed equally and from where we paid for utilities, food, fun etc.

After marriage we unified all of our finances.

We both work full time, we make about the same anually and we both make very good money (for where we live).

KayRay1994 · 2024-01-16T15:54:40+00:00

for most modern relationships its either split 50/50 or ratio’d based off each person’s income - the idea of “his money is our money and my money is my money” is becoming far less common, and usually the women who do push this idea are women you probably don’t want to associate with anyway

complete_doodle · 2024-01-16T14:12:30+00:00

We’re working on combining our finances (just got married recently). In the meantime, I pay a bit more than half of our expenses, since I make more money than my husband. After we combine, everything will be shared.

mrs_seng · 2024-01-16T15:00:27+00:00

My money is our money. His money is our money.

For the first month of the relationship, he paid for what he ordered, i paid for what I ordered.

After that, we would join whatever money we had and bought what that amount of money could buy.

That was the moment when my money became our money and his money became our money.

Sometimes he had no money, sometimes i had no money, but it never mattered. We are a family.

Edit: mistake

literaryhogwartian · 2024-01-16T14:01:28+00:00

We don't. All of our money is shared and we have joint accounts. We both stick to an agreed budget.

SlothMonster9 · 2024-01-16T15:26:48+00:00

We're married and we consider all the money we earn OUR money. We discuss major purchases and we track our expenses, incomes, savings and investments, so we both work together towards our financial goals.

YaKnowEstacado · 2024-01-16T14:36:41+00:00

Before we were married, we split based on income. Now that we're married we share one account.

CraftyCooler · 2024-01-16T14:14:26+00:00

We have a joint accounts and we do not really make questions who spend what, we assume that we're responsible. We've also both inherited some money - and we've invested it in real estate that we own 50/50. Only thing that we own separately are two houses - one is where my mom lives and second is my wife's own bought for her by my wife's parents and we are living in it now.

JSears90210 · 2024-01-16T14:27:15+00:00

Its seems unfair if the net income is 6k a month (him 4, her 2) and costs per month are 4k to have him pay 100%, keep nothing while she keeps her 2k...

Both parties should be financially better off after moving in and splitting costs. Obviously this changes if one party stops working for kids or other reasons.

In the case that you lay out the costs should be divvied up something like $2750 and $1250. Or $2500 and $1500.

You cannot have a situation where the partner that earns less is paying 50% of the expenses to meet the lifestyle of their partner and they now have zero savings. You also cannot have a more well off partner footing the entire bill while their partner is saving more than they are a month. Common sense and fairness is necessary.

It gets a lot easier when one person is a much higher income earner and expenses are not high. If it was $8k and $2k net income, it would be very easy to do $3k and $1k.

spanglesandbambi · 2024-01-16T14:02:11+00:00

Pretty close to 50/50 I earn more but invested more into the house via mortgage overpayment. We don't have a joint account instead I do the mortgage and groceries. He does gas, water, council tax, and electricity.

This just means we can change suppliers easier and track one set of bills.

We do have joint savings, but that's for shared costs like if the washing machine breaks or a holiday.

ReplacementPasta · 2024-01-16T14:19:20+00:00

Household costs are about 50/50 and that's about it for joint finances.

We have seperate investments ect

MyHouseOnMars- · 2024-01-16T14:19:48+00:00

My sister and BIL give a % of their salary for common causes and keep a % for personal use

It's a great system for LTR (they've been together for 15 years). Some years my sister earned more than him, some years he earned more than her.

robikn22 · 2024-01-16T15:41:56+00:00

When we got married we combined our finances. There is no “his income”/“my income”, there’s no “his contribution” “my contribution”. There’s no split.

Every dollar our family brings in goes into the same checking and savings account and every bill our family owes is paid out of those accounts. And we work off of one family budget.

It has worked well for us and I can’t imagine doing it any differently.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-01-16T14:13:19+00:00

i would have never "pooled" money and finances in any joint way if we werent married and never did. now that im married everything is 100% jointly owned, accounts real estate etc

Shag-nasti · 2024-01-16T17:35:17+00:00

50/50 is the only fair deal. Income itself shouldn't be considered.

Now if the high earning partner prefers, they can pick up a higher percentage, but it shouldn't be an expectation or requirement.

tiddermacss · 2024-01-16T16:11:29+00:00

shocked at the number of men here saying “joint account”.. don’t you ppl realise in case of split she gets to keep 100% of the “joint account”.. I cant believe ppl don’t consult lawyers before making these financial decisions.

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GeneralFig6053 · 2024-01-16T14:36:33+00:00

I am currently engaged. I have my own consultancy business which does very well. My fiancé is a business man and earns 10 times more than me. Everything about our finances is separate apart from a card he gave me with a £5k limit a month when we started dating and was increase to £10k when we got engaged. We’ve had discussions regarding finances and will be keeping it as it is once we do get married however the limit on the card he gave me will be increased.

damedor · 2024-01-16T14:47:34+00:00

I take care of everything in the home like groceries and cleaning supplies. He takes care of everything else.

Gravel_Roads · 2024-01-16T15:00:51+00:00

My partner makes more than I do, so if they wants to do something fun and extravagant, they tend to pay my way and I make up for it by being fun and helpful and contributing to the outing in ways that don't require money.

ie, We love camping, but I'm content to just sleep in a tent on the ground while they prefer renting a cabin with a shower and bed ect. So they pay for the cabin, and I'll tag along and do all the cooking (I'm a good cook, and love cooking rustic) and dishes.

In more daily life, we take turns buying each other small things like bubble teas or pastries, but I tend to just cook at home normally, so if they want to go out to eat at a fancy restaurant that I can't afford, they'll pay. But I surprise them at home sometimes with a homecooked meal that I bought the ingredients for.

So I contribute more in labor, they contribute more with money.

MistyMaisel · 2024-01-16T15:20:31+00:00

Don't live together, have separate finances. He pays when we go out. I buy most of his groceries and cook a fancy meal once a week. I'm usually spending more than him based on this arrangement. When we go on vacation he generally wants to cover everything, but allows me to pay for hotels sometimes.

We plan to marry and he generally seems to want to cover basically everything and my money would be begrudgingly accepted for help or for home improvement stuff. I personally just wanna do joint finances and we plan a budget together and consult each other about big purchases.

Financial_Chemist286 · 2024-01-16T15:58:19+00:00

She doesn’t work, I pay for 100% of everything.

Any money she would make for herself she would keep.

I even tried starting a business for her to do her own thing. Financed it for almost 4 years. She never been in business for herself but is educated.

I asked her what she would like to do or invest in. I told her about restaurants she could operate since she worked in restaurants in college. She refused. And chose a more hobbyist kind of business for herself. Unfortunately her business didn’t thrive and wouldn’t turn a profit.

That was a big lesson for her that many people think they want to run and operate a business but they don’t realize the stress that comes with it and providing for clients, employees, other vendors.

With opportunities comes challenges.

She’d rather not work at all now and just stay at home and take care of the house. She’s spoiled but she takes care of me and I’m sure I’m a handful because I’m EAF.

DreaminInChocolate · 2024-01-16T16:16:07+00:00

He pays child support and the utilities. We don't have shared finances. He pays me on an interest free school loan and the rest of his money is entirely his to do whatever. He has no other financial obligations in the house.

Novadina · 2024-01-16T16:35:14+00:00

When we first moved in together we put the amount we would need for rent and shared bills in a joint account and we each put the same amount in. When we bought our first house, I paid most of the down payment (I saved more as I had made more with some of my clients) but we got a mortgage approved on his income (they wouldn’t count mine since I was self employed) and then paid 50/50 to that mortgage just like we did rent.

When we got married we merged everything as jointly owned. By this time I was making a lot more so our income wasn’t contributing equally anymore. We bought a nicer house in a nicer area that we couldn’t even afford if we wanted to pay equally. We decide together on what we buy and our budget and our long term plans, and I manage most of the money to meet our goals and plans.

I live in a community property state so my understanding is anything acquired during marriage is jointly owned even if we did want to consider it separate. We had no money or assets before marriage except for our jointly owned house so everything is equally both of ours.

axolotofpain · 2024-01-16T16:38:46+00:00

Not married, but we've talked about getting engaged soon.

We do 60/40 on rent and split everything else (utilities, groceries, etc) 50/50. I typically work one less day than he does, but I pick up more chores than him because he works more and pays a little more rent.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2024-01-16T17:03:08+00:00

It's OUR money, no need to split anything. No need to pay some games with counting who spend what.

NJFlowerchild · 2024-01-16T17:06:44+00:00

50/50

YouHateTheMost · 2024-01-16T17:50:51+00:00

My husband is dealing with some health issues, so I’m the primary breadwinner. But he does side hustles to bring in some money too. All of it goes into the joint account, so all the money that enters our household is ours.

mrsmariekje · 2024-01-16T18:16:31+00:00

I'm the primary earner but we've always just had a joint account. No personal ones. It's easier to budget if the money is all in one place. We're both very frugal and we don't ask permission to buy things. Any other arrangement seems a bit suss to me honestly.

Purple-Poppins · 2024-01-16T18:51:43+00:00

He pays the bills and gives me a credit card of his for day to day expenses. I also have my own account for any money I earn, and I default to using that money day to day when I have it. I do all of the child care during the week, 95% of the cooking, laundry, and he also pays for a biweekly cleaner. Since we currently have 2 under 2, my earning ability is severely limited, but when I am able to make more, I have and will contribute to our joint savings.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-01-16T18:52:32+00:00

We each put 80% of non-gift income into a joint account (it's about an 80/20 split currently with me being the 80). That's for rent, bills, food, household purchases and often whatever else we do together (buses, flights to my parents, clubbing, board game café, etc). We started it a few months in after alternating got annoying. The rest is in individual accounts to do whatever we want, although I spend a not insignificant amount of that spoiling him and we put a lot away into our LISAs (savings accounts for buying your first home, you can out two together and government gives us 25%). We figure it's better than pooling everything entirely so we don't feel guilty about buying stuff for ourselves and can actually buy each other things. I think that's fair.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2024-01-16T18:59:55+00:00

We have a joint checking account but we each have various individual savings accounts either by necessity or for convenience.

But also, does she make more than you hourly? Because if not 60/40 seems like a raw deal on her end ngl.

thelajestic · 2024-01-16T19:00:37+00:00

We earn about equal at the moment so split down the middle. We get paid into our own accounts and have a joint account for bills - we pay an equal amount into that and it covers mortgage, bills & groceries. It also builds up a surplus so we tend to use that for meals out etc. we have a joint savings account and if saving for something particular (like house deposit) we agree an affordable amount to save and do that.

He's currently waiting on the outcome of a job application that would result in a massive reduction of income so if he's successful we'll rejig things and split it according to income ratio as we both think that's the fairest way to do it.

blebbyroo · 2024-01-16T19:02:21+00:00

We are on a budget right now but we both get 5% of our total monthly income to spend as we want

The rest goes to savings or bills and is accounted for

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-01-16T19:04:49+00:00

Joint account for household expenses, and our own accounts for ''fun money'' - hobbies, clothing, etc.

confused_makeup · 2024-01-16T19:07:12+00:00

Shared account that we put a percentage of each paycheck into (so we contribute equal percentages even if it's not the same dollar amount)

Separate accounts for our own things (fun money, our own car insurance, etc)

LadyLazarus2021 · 2024-01-16T19:15:33+00:00

Money pooled. Household budget. Discussed every month. My money and his money is our money. We luckily are both tight. Make sure your view of money matches the other persons view

Edited to add that we started out at the same amount salary but I stepped back with the kids but always worked. I still trail a bit when I went back full time. He is getting ready to make a massive financial jump. I did a huge investment of time and effort into his education and it’s going to pay off. It only works because we trust each and work together

Wattehfok · 2024-01-16T19:40:47+00:00

We each put roughly the same percentage of our income into a joint account to pay mortgage, bills, etc.

She earns more, so she’s got more leftover; but it’s generally more expensive being a woman, so it sorta evens out.

MidoriEgg · 2024-01-16T19:47:17+00:00

50/50, we have our own bank accounts but share household costs

EulenWatcher · 2024-01-16T21:04:07+00:00

Everything mine is his and everything his is mine. There's no my or his money, everything is ours. We both have our accounts and we have full access to each other's accounts and cards. We usually pay bills from his card and any big purchases are made on my card. When we go out we pay with his credit card because it has a better bonus for cafes and when we do shopping we pay with my credit card for a similar reason.

mostessmoey · 2024-01-16T21:33:36+00:00

I’m currently single. If I were to live with someone again, and we lived in my house, I would like to use my income for paying all of the bills. I could use what I spend on vacations, savings and entertainment to cover his car, car insurance and phone. Then I would like for his income to be shared, we could have an account for us to do things like vacations, concerts, dates with. The rest of the money we could split. We could use the money for whatever we each want and individual savings.

lvoncreek · 2024-01-16T21:34:43+00:00

Everything is 50/50

McTitty3000 · 2024-01-16T21:54:37+00:00

Married 5 years, 38 yo M, my kids were grown when I met her and we're not planning on having any, just for context.

I own my home and the land that it sits on, I did before she got into the picture so I take care of all the property tax on that.

She covers the internet, it's kind of split whatever on groceries.

And we budget and pool our money together for travels, can't wait for our summer trip this year

And yeah we buy each other nice gifts every now and then, and we each throw a little something into the joint account just for whatever it may be, medical emergencies, so on and so forth

Purple317 · 2024-01-16T22:31:30+00:00

We both work full time. We have a joint account in which my husband’s paycheck gets direct deposited - when he gets paid, I leave him an agreed upon amount of spending money and I transfer everything else into my “main” account (where my paycheck is deposited.) From there, I pay the mortgage, utility bills, groceries, childcare expenses, automatic deductions like streaming services etc. - pretty much all our household expenses. I put some into savings monthly and some into our children’s college funds.

This way, he can spend out of his checking account (joint account, but I don’t touch it after transferring a portion of his paycheck to my main account) without worrying about an automatic payment coming through and overdrafting it, etc. I take care of paying all the bills and expenses from my main account, but it’s not “my” money - it’s our money. He still has access to if needed.

We earn similar income - I make about 10k more (ish.) We discuss major purchases with each other prior to purchasing.

dsm5150 · 2024-01-16T22:34:59+00:00

Separate accounts. No commingling. We both make a decent salary and are financially disciplined. We’ve never once had an argument over finances.

RepresentativeAide27 · 2024-01-16T23:25:54+00:00

With my ex-wife, 70% of the income was mine. We had a joint account, and all my income went into that and covered all our expenses. My ex refused to put her pay into the account, and at the end of a month anything she had left over from her personal spending she would put in our joint account. Routinely we would go for 6 weeks without her contributing a cent. She would also pull large chunks of money out of our joint account to cover her credit card bills. A couple of times she spent money I had set aside for income tax payments and mortgage payments.

It was an utter nightmare - basically she spent her whole income on herself, and I spent my income on the family (mortgage, 3 kids and all bills).

After we broke up (she had an affair), she actually spread rumours around that I was financially abusive towards her, which was the complete opposite of what happened.

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2024-01-17T00:04:20+00:00

i paid for everything in my last relationship, as she was getting her master's degree. never dated within my income bracket so it's usually a similar type of deal. i'm not paying their gas/groceries/rent though (unless we'd live together i guess). my exes all contributed in other ways to the relationship however.

sublimemongrel · 2024-01-17T00:40:50+00:00

I’m married our money goes all in one pot and we just pay bills and spend whatever we want out of it. Big purchases like maybe 500+ unless it’s like Xmas is typically discussed although we’ve both bought big ones on a whim before. Like I just spent about 350 on some shoes but I also just got a large bonus so I didn’t feel the need to discuss that at all.

Neither of us are sticklers or drill each other over money spent.

relish5k · 2024-01-17T00:44:21+00:00

We are married and have shared everything. He earns more money, I work fewer hours and do more house/kid stuff.

Compared to joint expenses we have so few personal expenses that tracking them seems negligible. Plus, we are a unit - we are one household. All of us get nice things within reason. Even the silly little children who don’t bring in any income.

Our policy is that an expense >$500 warrants a conversation, but very rarely does the other employ any veto power.

toasterchild · 2024-01-17T01:45:14+00:00

I pay the mortgage (house is in my name only) and all of the home maintenance costs. He pays the utilities and cell phones. We pay for our own hobbies. We split groceries and insurance. My bills are higher than his but I get equity and he doesn't. He gets more opportunities to save but mostly he just invests in little figurines.

If we were to combine finances his hobby spending would piss me off too much, it is better that we just keep it separated.

We live way under our means and basically buy whatever we want.

Sillysheila · 2024-01-17T06:40:33+00:00

We split according to income.

Recently I’ve been the main provider when my husband was unemployed for a couple months (his work was shit and we really had to find something else for his health) so we were more 70/30.

Back when we were BF/GF and I had my stint of unemployment 4-5 years ago we did the same except I was the 30%.

Now we’re making the same sort of income so back to 50/50 🤷‍♀️

I would love to have a joint account where we pay for shared expenses it is just too hard at the moment for tax reasons. I’m married to an American/Australian citizen who moved to Australia, they will tax my income I make IN AUSTRALIA, if we do a joint account. So stupid but what can you do 😑

Title	How do you split the finances?
Author	RAZBUNARE761
Upvotes	7
Comments	99
Date	January 16, 2024 1:53 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1983dso/how_do_you_split_the_finances/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-do-you-split-the-finances.1243123 https://theredarchive.com/post/1243123

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