How would you feel about a "reverse orgasm gap*?

DifficultSweet3835 · 2026-06-18T22:20:49+00:00

This is how one guy I knew always took care of me. I thought it was normal until I learned it wasn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I was expected to serve him at times with no pleasure for myself. But that was our dynamic.

Mountain_Snow3613 · 2026-06-18T21:52:25+00:00

Top performative post of all time lmao.

"I don't have ED, I'm just such a good lover that my girl has 8 orgasms every time and I don't even really feel the need to finish."

untitledbydangelo · 2026-06-18T22:05:54+00:00

I’d hate if my partner didn’t feel pleasured! I feel like unless it’s otherwise made clear that I am getting the attention and it’s about me and we both agree to it, I don’t think an orgasm gap with my man would sit right with my spirit.

I feel sad for those women in situations where they have male partners who don’t care, or believe sex is something women give to men.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-06-18T22:23:28+00:00

I tend to feel bad when my partner doesn’t cum. Society says men get erections from a warm breeze and that they fuck fruit. I blame myself. I wasn’t better than a grapefruit. I’d say less than 10% of my partners in the past were active in wanting me to have an orgasm.

MarioWilson122 · 2026-06-19T02:33:07+00:00

If the orgasm gap were genuinely reversed and men were routinely getting less sexual satisfaction than women, I think it would change dating dynamics quite a bit.

Part of the reason men are willing to do most of the initiating, pursuing, and risk-taking now is because the reward structure generally makes sense from their perspective. If sex consistently became a much better deal for women than for men, you'd probably see fewer men feeling motivated to chase it as aggressively.

That doesn't mean women would suddenly become the primary initiators overnight, but it would remove one of the incentives that has historically pushed men to take on that role. The dating market tends to adjust to incentives.

In your example, it works because you're personally satisfied with the arrangement. The bigger question is what happens when large numbers of men are no longer receiving enough value from the exchange. If that became the norm, you'd likely see changes in behavior, expectations, and who is putting in the effort to make relationships happen in the first place.

Toe2ToeBirdLaw · 2026-06-18T22:32:48+00:00

I have a similar relationship to yours. My partner only gets off 1 or so times per session but I will get off dozens usually. It's a physiological difference. Men need (generally speaking) a lot more refractory time before they can have a 2nd orgasm. Most women don't. So generally speaking a gap where a guy gets off less often than his female partner isn't a matter of lack of care or effort on the woman's part but rather a physiological difference in bodies.

The orgasm gap between men and women where men get off and women don't is almost entirely due to a lack of care or effort on the male partner's part. women usually can't get off from penetration alone and require foreplay type elements for the big O. When a guy decides he doesn't care about that, then you end up with the orgasm gap women complain about.

emmarie1023 · 2026-06-19T04:27:09+00:00

How would I feel if the statistics were reversed? Probably a little flattered knowing that someone might be sleeping with me more for my benefit than for their own.

wolf2424b · 2026-06-18T23:42:15+00:00

I think a reverse orgasm gap is usually a kind of fetish thing for couples either because the man is a submissive type, the woman is a dominant type, or some combination of the two.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2026-06-18T21:41:06+00:00

no, this would be terrible

pie-mart · 2026-06-18T21:38:56+00:00

Idk, id feel pretty insecure if my partmer did not cum and try to make my partner cum as much as i could

SeaworthinessSea2407 · 2026-06-18T21:55:48+00:00

Nice humblebrag. Women also can orgasm more and longer than men during any particular encounter. Almost like male and female orgasms are different and serve different purposes biologically speaking

Independent_Egg_7785 · 2026-06-18T22:26:55+00:00

We're about 3:1 for her and i only want to widen the gap even more!

PositionStandard6089 · 2026-06-18T22:51:23+00:00

do you mean if men's orgasm experience was as varied as women's and i would have to put more effort and fine tuning into exactly what he specifically likes? or everything is the same in terms of how orgasms work, the man is just more focused on me than himself?

wtknight · 2026-06-19T00:53:58+00:00

I don't know. I think that enough guys would enjoy jerking off and ejaculating on a woman that I don't really think that it's an issue if a woman cannot give a man an orgasm like what many women complain about with men.

Present-Afternoon-70 · 2026-06-18T21:45:59+00:00

Is this just an excuse to try to brag? This is also a really dumb question and hypothetical. Men's orgasms are physical not mental, thats why Viagra works and there is not equal for women. ED isnt men not having orgasms its a physical problem. Women not having orgasms is a a problem in itself partially because men dont do things like oral or fore/after play. Part is women not communicating (a problem caused by slut shaming, patriarchy) and there are more mental/hormonal factors too.

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2026-06-18T21:42:17+00:00

Same here my own fun is a solitary pleasure my partner gets 3 to 5 orgasms I zero to one .

I suspect this happens a lot we just don’t whine about it .

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2026-06-18T21:52:36+00:00

This is fetish content

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DMmeClownPics · 2026-06-18T23:13:59+00:00

This is how my current relationship is and my boyfriend is a treasure to be protected at any and all cost. It’s not that I don’t reciprocate. I absolutely do. It’s just a physiological reality that I’m able to orgasm more frequently and easily than he is. And it happens to be his favorite thing to do. Our sex life is phenomenal.

hexdeedeedee · 2026-06-18T23:14:15+00:00

Id just masturbate more. Ejaculation isnt the most fun part of sex.

I know this is simply a correlation, but in my past relationships the wonen who wouldnt cum easily during sex spent years using toys with functions the human body cant replicate. I know pornbrained/deathgrip is something women may face with their man, but theres definitely a similar concept with women that we dont talk about at all

theminxisback · 2026-06-19T00:49:34+00:00

You sound like one of my clients... You're a gem

Newduuud · 2026-06-19T00:50:42+00:00

We get it dude, you’re a pussy wizard. Wanted to get that off your chest or something?

love_in_october · 2026-06-19T05:24:21+00:00

I'm not multiorgasmic so this would entail my partner having zero orgasms, which I wouldn't accept if I had means of fixing it. It feels selfish, same as when men are orgasming but don't put in effort for their partners to orgasm.

Robhand01 · 2026-06-19T06:09:23+00:00

I will blow your mind, you want more than 1 orgams? You dont stimualte your dick, you stimulate your prostate, prostate orgams are VERY similar to female orgasm, so you dont need to worry about orgasm gap, you just want to buy a sex toy for masturbation and your partner to peg you

jenaemare · 2026-06-19T07:44:58+00:00

I'm in this situation right now and it felt weird at the beginning. My current sexual partner has ED and he was the first man I've been with that has it, so I thought he just wasn't attracted to me and would make me feel good just to be polite (I have really low self esteem so I pretty much assume any man that interacts with me low-key dislikes me).

I was coming from a relationship where my ex partner would not only make fun of me for being difficult to make orgasm, but he'd tell me "you don't need to cum, you just want it. My ex girlfriends never cared about it".

At first I felt bad with my current sex partner. My ex used to think my sex drive was a bit disgusting and he would see foreplay and making me cum as chores. So this guy comes in and eats me out for half an hour AT LEAST every time, fingers me as much as I want and expect nothing in return? I couldn't believe it, but there it was.

I also discovered I'm not difficult to make orgasm at all. With my former partner it was just the lack of foreplay and interest and my inability to fully relax and feel desired around him that increased the difficulty on my ability to orgasm.

As a bisexual woman with mostly male dating history it was really hard to get used to it. I like it though, as I have a very sensitive multiorgasmic body. In a session of 30 min of receiving oral I can have up to 5 orgasms. Adding that with other fingering and humping that we do it can get up to a lot. He's only ever had 2 orgasms with me, when he was doing therapy for ED... Now the problem is back but his enthusiasm to make me happy hasn't left. And I'm also not leaving any time soon haha.

I can only withstand this dynamic if I truly know that the man will not care/hate me. After numerous discussions I accepted that he's okay with not receiving. But sometimes he manages to get erections and I return the favour and he's really happy... At the beginning he told me that he is not keen on receiving oral and now he actually started enjoying it? I think he never had a woman who truly enjoyed giving him oral but here I am healing our sexual issues one night at a time!

Alone_Ambition_3729 · 2026-06-19T09:13:47+00:00

I feel like keeping score is already kind of sus. Whether you're a man or a woman, just enjoy going down on your partner. Then everyone has as many orgasms as they want.

Bitter_Emu6366 · 2026-06-19T10:26:15+00:00

Gay men orgasm at rates almost identical to that of straight men, whatever social negativity there is towards male homosexuality(which there is a considerable amount) it doesn't effect gay mens orgasm rate, the gap is biological, there can't be a reversed orgasm rate, it's impossible.

Grow_peace_in_Bedlam · 2026-06-19T12:20:45+00:00

This is my relationship. My wife has two to four orgasms for my one every time we have penetrative sex. I thought it was pretty normal. She's also the only woman I've cummed with during sex.

I bet that if we totalled all the women who have multiple orgasms from sex and the women who have none, we would find that there is no orgasm gap in absolute orgasms during sex between the sexes.

Axis_Control · 2026-06-19T14:57:42+00:00

In long term relationships the woman is more likely to have an orgasm.

In hookups only 30% do.

ouishi · 2026-06-19T15:08:47+00:00

I feel similarly and I identify as asexual, so...

JollyBowler2510 · 2026-06-25T09:38:51+00:00

I'd like it to be more even, hell even just act like you like being around me in bed.... but its not to say your way is bad per se, but I would want my partner to feel appreciated too.

SamtheBenjamin · 2026-07-17T23:01:15+00:00

I don't think most men would complain nearly as much if the roles were reversed. Most men already get a lot of satisfaction from pleasing their partner, even if they don't finish every time. Plenty of guys have had sex where the woman finished and they didn't, and they didn't turn it into some broader social issue.

The bigger difference is that society treats the two situations very differently. When women orgasm less, it's framed as a widespread problem that men are expected to solve. If men were the ones orgasming less, I doubt it would receive the same level of attention or sympathy. It would probably be dismissed as an individual issue or blamed on the man himself.

As for your situation, if both of you are happy with it, there's nothing wrong with it. The only thing that matters is whether the couple is satisfied, not whether the numbers are perfectly equal.

TheRedPillRipper · 2026-06-18T22:04:54+00:00

>How would you feel

Currently with little kids during the week we mostly just have vanilla quickies. On weekends though we get a little more experimental. I train a lot and my wife is in our home gym fairly consistently. So Friday or Saturdays when our eldest is out partying, we’ll mix it up. We usually have a few orgasms between us, but the focus is more on the experience. Playing around and trying new things. Not counting orgasms. If my wife was getting there more times than me? It would not change much for either of us.

ImaginaryDimension74 · 2026-06-18T22:05:24+00:00

I’ve had a few girlfriends who had orgasms easily and frequently, way more than I ever could. I much prefer that to a partner who has a hard time teaching orgasm or is generally unable to.

I think most women being able to orgasm often would be great!

bodegazzz · 2026-06-18T21:56:42+00:00

the orgasm gap is a non-issue in my opinion. Just talk your needs out, that should be do-able in a normal relationship 🤷‍♀️

OneBonusAfterAnother · 2026-06-18T21:47:47+00:00

Yeah that stat must be way off, I feel like it’s normal for the woman to orgasm more?

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2026-06-18T21:57:46+00:00

I’d just select for women who got me off.

Title	How would you feel about a "reverse orgasm gap*?
Author	WingHuge2185
Upvotes	0
Comments	134
Date	June 18, 2026 9:32 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1u9j49n/how_would_you_feel_about_a_reverse_orgasm_gap/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-would-you-feel-about-a-reverse-orgasm-gap.1583112 https://theredarchive.com/post/1583112

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