Single/lonely men and social circles

leosandlattes · 2026-04-22T16:47:59+00:00

It is not an assumption on my end. They straight up tell me that they do not have social lives because they do not see the benefit in having one since they believe it does not lead to sex, which is what they want. We have men here on PPD all the time who say they only observe human interaction online.

I always find the difference in opinion over whether social life helps or doesn't very fascinating. Because for me and for so many of my peers, the social life led to many relationships. Not necessarily with our friends, but through meeting friends of friends, being invited on a whim to so-and-so's party, house, get together, etc. But I also understand not all friend group dynamics are like this.

Good luck to you and your dating life!

-mixedsignals · 2026-04-22T16:20:02+00:00

Where does this assumption come from?

From them. When people post about how friendships are a good safety net, or a way to have an excuse to go out and have fun so many men here answer "ABSOLUTELY NOT" "I don't need friends" "friends won't get me a girlfriend"

as if we were telling them to shower in acid

prettywords_ · 2026-04-22T16:16:33+00:00

90% of the time when a guy is complaining about dating and I ask about his social life he barely has any friends or doesn't like being social, they almost always complain about not having friends and a social life.

KayRay1994 · 2026-04-22T23:36:36+00:00

You’re the exception, not the norm. Many men who are chronically single don’t have active social lives, and the stats show a heavy correlation between general loneliness and romantic loneliness.

Now, why are you chronically single? I don’t know. I don’t know you, I’ve never interacted with you nor do I know what contributing factors might exist in your life. So there is nothing to base any assumptions on in your individual case

anomalocarus · 2026-04-22T16:14:31+00:00

Most people on reddit that complain about their perpetual singlehood are guys who never socialize and spend all their time falling for ragebait instead. You are an outlier and i hope you find someone. You seem like a nice person.

cb8585b · 2026-04-22T16:26:40+00:00

They say it themselves.

toad-wrangler · 2026-04-22T16:35:25+00:00

Have you asked your (coupled) friends for feedback on your behavior that might shed light on ways in which you could grow and develop as a person that would make you more successful in your romantic/sexual life?

This is often a suggestion given to men that complain about being lonely, and they (frequently) retort with insisting that they do not have friendships like this that would provide them with a community that could help them grow, develop, and mature.

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jorts-enthusiast · 2026-04-22T17:59:56+00:00

Probably because there’s a pretty strong correlation that crops up often. I’ve known multiple men who struggle to date and explicitly say that having a social circle isn’t a priority to them.

Tylikcat · 2026-04-23T01:46:44+00:00

It's not that perpetually single men are necessarily loners. It's that a lot of perpetually single men are loners, and the ones that post here a lot are more likely to be loners (because they have the time to do so.)

My impression came from talking to the guys here, many of whom don't have friends, and don't have outside social activities. It's not all of the guys here, but it is a disproportionate number of the single, and especially the guys who have never had relationships.

(Okay, also I am aware of the literature on how socially isolate a segment of young men have become, especially the very online, and those who were in school during covid and who are still living with their parents.)

ThotismSpeaks · 2026-04-22T17:29:29+00:00

I run in nerdy circles IRL and the men with active social lives have active romantic lives, including the schlubby Warhammer 40k enthusiasts.

Online, I see posts from men talking about their lack of romantic success. In many cases, their daily routine consists of work, errands, solitary hobbies, sleep, repeat. This isn't necessarily something women want to get in on. The guys in question either say they would expand their horizons but need a woman to deliver herself to their door like a pizza and Manic Pixie Dream Girl them into getting a life, or they're hoping to meet their female equivalent who's okay with the couch potato lifestyle (while still being hot herself). It's not realistic.

mlo9109 · 2026-04-22T17:03:02+00:00

Personal experience... I hate how, as a single woman, I'm told to "put myself out there" to meet guys. I'm out there, but the men aren't. It could just be where I live (college town with high retiree population in the rural Northeast) but every gym, church, cafe, or other community event / 3rd space is full of women with the few men present being dragged there by their wives or girlfriends. Single men are hiding at home with their video games and porn, I guess. It's largely self-inflicted.

I even notice it among my coupled friends, anytime they drag their spouses out, they look bloody miserable and when I come over, they just hide in their man caves like cats, not even bothering to say "hello." When I've been in a relationship, I've spent many mornings dragging my partner out of bed to make it to church, brunch, or the farmer's market on time. It's downright antisocial! Get off your asses and out into the community, maybe you'll feel less lonely that way.

ThatBitchA · 2026-04-22T19:55:56+00:00

It's not an assumption. It comes from their very mouths saying that they don't have friends.

lesliecarbone · 2026-04-22T16:24:34+00:00

Single and lonely are two different concepts. People with robust relationships aren't lonely;
they may or may not be single.

Lemon_gecko · 2026-04-22T16:19:09+00:00

From men. They describe their life and almost always there are barely any socialization.

Title	Single/lonely men and social circles
Author	Timosox
Upvotes	22
Comments	108
Date	April 22, 2026 4:11 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ssq1du/singlelonely_men_and_social_circles/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/singlelonely-men-and-social-circles.1578596 https://theredarchive.com/post/1578596

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