THE Question

sublimemongrel · 2017-10-09T19:16:33+00:00

Well first of all I probably wouldn’t go after a “RP man/player,” but assuming I did, my love, support, companionship and loyalty. Strangely enough I’ve found many men seem to want these things. And since I’m married I’ll throw in that I provide income to the marital property as well as help with the daily chores/upkeep, etc.

Edit: like some of the other posters I too struggle a bit with the concept of convincing a man who does NOT want to LTR me to LTR me. It doesn’t really work like that IME, I don’t really want to have to convince someone that I’m worth it usually they have come to that decision naturally without me trying to pressure them into it.

Dmva100 · 2017-10-09T19:38:58+00:00

If he doesn't want a relationship, I'm not wasting my time. I've got better things to do with my life than supplicate to a dude who doesn't want me.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2017-10-09T20:41:24+00:00

This is in the context of a guy who wants to sleep around and does not want a relationship, but you do.

bye

TheChemist158 · 2017-10-09T19:29:47+00:00

First issue; if a guy doesn't watont a relationship then that's that. I only date guys who actually want to date me. Kinda ruins it If he doesn't genuinely want to date me.

Secondly,

player.

Ew, no thanks.

Redpill man

Double ew and a full boat load of no thanks.

But since you wanted to avoid all BS I'll give you a list of benefits I provide my SO.

Shared domestic labor
Shared financial burdons
Second pair of hands virtually always at the ready
Companionship
Emotional support
Affection/love

philomexa · 2017-10-09T19:47:28+00:00

This is in the context of a guy who wants to sleep around and does not want a relationship, but you do.

but why would I want a relationship with a man who's shown no desire for a relationship with me? I'm not giving up my best wifely behaviors for some chucklefuck who doesn't want comittment.

I'm not desperate; dick, even good dick, is bountiful.

My husband was living the Chadly dream before I came along. I snagged by stroking his ego (and ballsack) but the difference was he was burned out by flakes/hos/party girls, and was ready/looking for some wife material.

If he still had his fuckboy mindset I wouldn't want anything to do with him.

How would you get a Redpill man/player to drop his other women since sex is so abundant for him?

I wouldn't; I bring a lot of good shit to the table, but that shit is reserved for men who want that commitment.

philomexa · 2017-10-09T19:50:23+00:00

When I met my husband, he was doing what TRP calls "spinning plates" -- he had a couple different FWB's. The night we met we had insane chemistry and flirted and danced all night. I was 100000% smitten with him. In the following months we saw more of each other as our social circles became more intertwined, and there was always an undercurrent of flirtation and sexual chemistry between us. It was a slow build that lasted almost a year -- a whisper here, a playful touch there, enough that we both knew the other was interested but there was still an air of tension and mystery. All the while he was still sleeping with a couple of other girls.

I think he didn't pursue me aggressively for sex right away because he wanted more from me and he was feeling me out for the long term. I picked up on that and I was fine waiting in the wings and I didn't mind that he was getting sex elsewhere for the time being. I was playing the long game too.

Eventually we started making out and fooling around, and finally we had sex. After a week or two he told me he wasn't having sex with anyone else. Not long after that he introduced me to his friends as "my girlfriend." A year after that we moved in together. Six years later we got married. I never once broached the topic of commitment first; it was always, always him.

It was never a situation where I was trying to lure him into a relationship he didn't really want. We both wanted the same thing from the beginning and we both knew it even if it was unspoken. I would never pursue a man and try to "win him over" to the idea of a relationship; that sounds like an exercise in futility if ever there was one.

He told me recently that before we were officially "together," when we were still in that flirty in-between phase, he told his roommate at the time (who was one of my good friends) that he was going to marry me someday.

I can't say what I offered that made him willing to drop his "plates" and commit to me; you'd have to ask him. But I know what I bring to the table now: I'm a fiercely loyal partner and a personal cheerleader who thinks my husband hung the moon. I keep a nice house, I pay my half of the bills and then some, I'm unwaveringly supportive and I make him laugh every day. I think he chose well, and I know I did.

Littleknownfacts · 2017-10-09T19:25:02+00:00

This is in the context of a guy who wants to sleep around and does not want a relationship, but you do.

Impossible. If the man's priority isn't having a relationship, there is nothing I can say or do to convince him otherwise that would be to his satisfaction. Instead, I am choosing from men who have already decided for whatever reasons they want to have a relationship with me.

To keep this response from being absolutely useless, in my current relationship, my SO values among many things: my sexual availability, my ability to STFU, my commitment to managing household affairs, my delightful company, how I manage work/life balance, that on top of all that I still have time to keep myself fit and attractive, even on days I don't leave the house.

Battle-Scars · 2017-10-09T19:03:19+00:00

i make him feel important and valued. i earn his trust and loyalty. i defend him in public. i defer to his judgement. i'm not a cunt.

SpaceWhiskey · 2017-10-09T19:27:13+00:00

I'm not out to attract red pill men/players, but for men in general I'm interesting, I'm funny, I'm self-sufficient. I take care of my appearance, I'm honest, I'm mature. I'm all the things I would look for in a partner. I'm not interested in persuading a player to change his ways for me, if he's only interested in casual sex we're not compatible anyways more than likely.

Dmva100 · 2017-10-09T19:08:26+00:00

[deleted]

EliteSpartanRanger · 2017-10-09T19:38:12+00:00

This is in the context of a guy who wants to sleep around and does not want a relationship, but you do.

Chances are I'd accept that we're different and leave it at that. If a guy doesn't want a relationship, I can do anything to keep him for a while but if he doesn't want to settle down, I'll have to worry about him possibly straying, also it's stressful to keep having to impress him so that he'd stay, so I don't think that we have compatible values in this sense.

But what do I bring in a relationship in general? I usually bring half of everything. I bring my opinions, my humor, my personality, I also contribute financially and will do half of the housework.

How would you get a Redpill man/player to drop his other women since sex is so abundant for him?

I would not. It's better to find someone who shares your outlook on relationships than find someone who's so different and try to change them.

goatismycopilot · 2017-10-09T20:28:07+00:00

To a man who wants to sleep around and not have a relationship I offer complete and total freedom to do whatever he wants because I do not want to date him, have sex with him, or invest any effort at all. I do not want to try to win or attract a TRP man.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2017-10-09T20:45:08+00:00

What do you have to offer a man other than sex that would make you worthy of his committment? This is in the context of a guy who wants to sleep around and does not want a relationship, but you do.

umm how can i offer a guy anything in a "relationship" if he does not want a relationship?

How would you get a Redpill man/player to drop his other women since sex is so abundant for him?

youre asking this question as if i want to do this, no thanks. I'll husband-up an attractive high beta

Electra_Cute · 2017-10-09T19:10:38+00:00

Nothing, that is their decision.

TheBlackQuill · 2017-10-09T19:30:18+00:00

Why bother making rp guys to drop in their plate? It is their own decision and there is nothing I can do about it. I also don't like competing with other women because hoo boy, it sucks and I really hate female social matrix. I already suffer from several oneitis but I never complain about it because I know I am the coward and a fool of to think I can compete with other women... love must be earned. One must improve themselves to the highest quality to get someone they really want. I haven't done so and yet I expect them to return my feelings... That is foolishness.

rulenumber303 · 2017-10-09T19:31:34+00:00

What do you have to offer a man other than sex that would make you worthy of his committment?

Commitment has largely been a mutual necessity for me and my partner due to our desire to have kids and raise a family.

This is in the context of a guy who wants to sleep around and does not want a relationship, but you do.

Why bother with such a man if you want commitment?

TLDR - How would you get a Redpill man/player to drop his other women since sex is so abundant for him?

I wouldn't. I'd look for a man who wanted to be happier in a committed relationship and then try to work out how compatible our visions of the future were. The game of changing people by loving them is a mug's game. Let the player stay a player, he's obviously doing it for a reason so let him, just don't play yourself if you don't like his game.

DemonConsulting · 2017-10-09T19:42:04+00:00

Going after a man who is not interested in a relationship in the first place is a waste of time. Before I start dating someone, the most important thing is to insure we're actually on the same page of what we want out of, both short term and long term. Since I see a continuous life long marriage as the goal, this obviously means I am looking for a man who wants the same. There is a difference between someone with options, who wants a relationship but will only pursue one that is a benefit to their life, and someone who has no interest in monogamy and an emotional connection at all and wants to just have lots of NSA sex instead. The former is just high value with healthy boundaries, the latter won't ever actually be satisfied in a relationship but will just feel trapped, no matter how good the partner may be since the problem is not the quality in partner but the quantity. It's like dating a slut and not even a reformed one. Everyone just looses in that relationship, even if one might shortly “win“ their affections.

As to what I can offer, besides sex whenever and whatever way he wants it, probably companionship, trust, a partner that supports him in his choices and builds him up, children, putting him and the family first before anything else in whatever family model might be best for us/ needed (be it with a full second income in software development, staying at home to raise the children or anything in between), generally someone who wants to make him happy. With my husband, we also share the a lot of the same hobbies and interests, like the same tv shows, like to cuddle and just spend time together. Tbh this is also something rather individual - I genuinely just like to do nice things for my husband and make him happy because I love him. This can be anything he likes specifically, as well as just generally being attentive, accomodating and putting him/our relationship first. He is the same way so we both care about eachother and try to show/ live that. Loyalty is another big factor, both in siding with your spouse in public (us against the world) and also to the relationship. This might potentially cross into creepy codependent levels with me and him tho ... As in I at least am so obsessive, any sort of cheating is a sure way to double murder suicide.

Battle-Scars · 2017-10-09T20:04:39+00:00

I wouldn't want a RedPiller, but these are the things that I would do for a normal guy that loved me.

I would use myself as a human shield to protect you from any flying fists, and attack all those who insult you.
I would help you hide the evidence if you ever decided to kill someone.
I would completely ignore all your flaws and greatly exaggerate your positives in my mind until you became something like a god. As a devote follower in your religion, I would fight all those who oppose you with violence.
If you ever became blind or paraplegic, I'd push you around in a wheelchair to all your favorite places.
I don't give a fuck if you leave your dirty socks on the floor or in the refrigerator.
I will hate the people that you hate except my mom.
I will memorize all your little preferences and do my best to conform to them.
I will structure my life around what you want.
I'm cool with you being a stay at home dad.
I will only watch my girlie shows after you've fallen asleep at night.
I'll probably make more money than you someday so you can live off my income.
I'd be okay with not ever getting married or not having kids.
I'd brag to your friends about what a huge dick you have.

quotient_is · 2017-10-09T20:53:12+00:00

Husband and I are in an open marriage, so he can still fuck around if he wants to. He was seeing other women when we met and we just kept that dynamic as we started a relationship together. I'm free to see other people as well, but I haven't met much of anyone worth the effort. He views the freedom to pursue casual sex as a big positive, though he does so less than I expected.

Initially, I provided him friendship and a common view of the world. We're strikingly similar in our beliefs and convictions, which is somewhat hard to find for people like us in our particular community.

I counterbalance his weaknesses in finance and time/stress management.

I care for his daughter while he works weekends, thus ensuring he still gets his visitation.

I give him a level of care for his person that a casual hookup would not. This ranges from prepping his lunches ahead of time just to make his life easier, to recently caring for him during a period of hospitalization and incapacity.

I still want him even though he can sometimes be an emotional wreck, and I give him the physical and emotional closeness that comes with knowing a person inside and out. Maybe he is more physically/emotionally affectionate than other men, I dunno. He appears to value that closeness a lot.

I give him space to do the things he wants to without bitching at him and join him in activities we both enjoy. I also don't nag him to do social things I know he doesn't want to. Nor do I nag him about chores. I ask once if needed and then let him do his thing.

I have a genuine interest in making him happy and doing what I can to make his life easier. That is all without touching on our sex life, which is a significant aspect of the relationship for both of us.

Ultimately, I'm aware that he could function fine without me. My goal is to make his life better where I can anyway.

I have no answers that would apply to men in general, as I'm not actively trying to woo the entirety of the gender.

[deleted] · 2017-10-09T22:03:16+00:00

a relationship with me would offer absolutely nothing to man who doesn't want a relationship with me. it's not that complicated.

but a man in love enjoys being around his woman. there's no "scorecard" between my husband and i, we love each other, enjoy each other and look after each other and that's pretty great for both of us.

Butt-Factory · 2017-10-09T22:32:28+00:00

The same things he offers me. Sex, love, support, companionship, and loyalty.

Plus having someone you enjoy spending time with around to split the rent and share the burdens of adult responsibilities is nice.

I'm not sure why I would commit to a man who did not also desire commitment. Seems pointless, no? That's like asking how I would go about selling a slice of chocolate cake to someone who hates chocolate cake. I wouldn't try. There is no shortage of people who want chocolate cake that I could focus on, just as there is no shortage of men who desire a committed relationship

-AveMaria- · 2017-10-09T22:32:40+00:00

This is in the context of a guy who wants to sleep around and does not want a relationship, but you do.

Wtf lmao. Why would i want a relationship with a man who doesn't want one? Why do people ask these stupid questions?

darla10 · 2017-10-09T22:42:45+00:00

A player is a yucky man. A man with options is an attractive man, so I'm going to pretend you meant a man with options. Assuming he and I have off the charts chemistry, I would do the following:

-Date at least 2 other men besides him, even if I didn't want to. I wouldn't necessarily have sex with anyone, but I would make it very clear that I myself not only have other options but am actively receptive to them.

-Show him my affection, femininity and adulation

-Show him how fun and emotionally stable I am

-Sit back and wait. Eventually he'll come over and offer his commitment because it would simply pain him too much to see me dating anyone else.

-Write 'Dear John' letters to the other dudes

That's how I got Mr.D, a man with a lot of options.

rainisthelife · 2017-10-10T02:47:45+00:00

Tbh why anyone would think that a good value and sane woman would waste her time trying to convince an alphafa player Chad to commit to her, frankly is beyond me.

Besides, judging from OP's replies and comments on this thread, its pretty obvious that he did not ask this question in good faith nor did he actually want to know what women brought into their relationships. He came fully prepared with a confirmation bias and an arsenal of weak retorts, in order to try and prove that women do not bring value into a relationship beyond the value of a dog. That's RP for you, everybody!

crumblesnatch · 2017-10-09T19:56:38+00:00

What do you have to offer a man other than sex that would make you worthy of his committment?

My husband has my loyalty and my trust, proven over time. He receives affection, genuine compliments, a ready partner to go to the movies or go rock-climbing or whatever adventure we have planned. I am financially independent, and have supported him both financially and socially in order to further his career. I keep myself attractive so he can brag about it to his friends. I cook his meals and do the lion's share of housework without complaint. As an immigrant, he benefits from my citizenship. I treat him with respect and will always defer to him in areas where he has greater knowledge/experience, and have the knowledge/experience to off-set areas where he is lacking. I am honest with him, and encourage him toward self-improvement - and actively improve myself in turn. I have my mental mess sorted, and don't rely on him for every emotional need.

That said,

How would you get a Redpill man/player to drop his other women since sex is so abundant for him?

I wouldn't. I find the RP/player type of man viscerally disgusting.

RockinSocksII · 2017-10-09T20:21:11+00:00

I bring dat cold hard cash.

IckyStickyPoo · 2017-10-10T01:59:53+00:00

Sex is not abundant for rp men. Otherwise the rp sub would not exist.

I also have zero interest in players. Players are low quality men.

Likewise I have zero to offer a man who wants to sleep around because I don't wish to be with such a man.

[deleted] · 2017-10-10T11:39:03+00:00

Hah why would I spend my precious time and energy trying to get with a guy who doesn't want to be with me?

If a guy wants a relationship, then yes, I have lots to offer. Support, companionship, affection, taking care of him, domestic stuff. Most guys I've met seem to want that stuff.

I would never try to get a player to drop his plates, I want nothing to do with that.

Lyanina · 2017-10-09T19:16:27+00:00

Nothing. Zero, zilch, absolutely nothing.

I have no interest in 'offering' a man who doesn't want a relationship with me anything. The question itself is weird for me. I have never, and will never, be in a situation where I feel the desire to get a man to "drop" his other women. If the guy isn't that into me I'm not going to try to seduce him away from someone else, that's just weird.

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[deleted] · 2017-10-09T19:24:37+00:00

Demonstrate to him that I have what he's missing or desiring in his life. Develop his trust and show my own loyalty. Actions speak louder than words. If that doesn't work or he makes his rejection clear then I'm not what he's looking for and I carry on my way.

[deleted] · 2017-10-10T15:05:20+00:00

I think I have plenty to offer a man, but not this man.

JezebeltheQueen5656 · 2017-10-09T22:47:44+00:00

I am not looking for commitment to begin with, just good sex and honesty (about STDs and stuff). And that he isn't a psycho. As for commitment, I'm not committed , so there.

phantasic79 · 2017-10-09T22:54:16+00:00

Hey....just wanted to let you know that it is possible to meet a super interesting women that you are not trying to sleep with. Opera Winfry would be super interesting to talk to and hang out with even though you're probably not trying to sleep with her.

LifterofThings · 2017-10-10T04:22:16+00:00

Setting aside the idea that I would ever aggressively pursue a man who was actively rejecting me, because I don't hate myself nearly that much....

... I make my bf's life easier, and more fun (most of the time, anyway). Could he cook his own food and do his own laundry and nurse his own illnesses and build up his own ego, and raise our babies, etc etc, without me? I'm sure he'd manage, but life is a lot more comfortable, and presents more possibilities with a competent, committed teammate on your side.

I doubt a lot of red pill men would be able to see the value in a good female companion if they haven't already experienced it to some degree. I hope you have that opportunity! A good relationship can be a beautiful thing.

EsauTheRed · 2017-10-10T11:52:38+00:00

Cooking skills are a good one

DebatePony · 2017-10-10T17:13:14+00:00

I don't know why I would chase someone who didn't want to be with me.

sunkindonut149 · 2017-10-11T14:30:38+00:00

Paying for dates and finding clean downloads of movies on the day of release.

pinkgoldrose · 2017-10-10T03:22:50+00:00

It's not up to me to do the convincing! I respect people's wishes and their ability to decide what's best for themselves. I'd enter a relationship with a guy who wants a relationship with me. I'm not in the business of holding people hostages.

Title	THE Question
Author	Dmva100
Upvotes	8
Comments	378
Date	October 9, 2017 7:01 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/75bbhh/the_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-question.265366 https://theredarchive.com/post/265366

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