To BP: How do you explain this situation without the AF/BB paradigm of the red pill? How can you explain this common mating strategy among women noted in the comment section?

sexydude01 · 2016-05-12T11:10:56+00:00

http://archive.is/UavE6 This discussion has been posted on the red pill reddit site. I have browsed through the comments from mostly BP men who are admitting...

[–]Feeldariddim 6 points7 points8 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheChemist158Non-Feminist Blue Pill Woman 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

My answer is that many women don't have kinkier sex with their exes. A lot that do are excluded because either their ex isn't a bad boy (which seems to be the case in the OP provided) or she didn't actually enjoy it but was pushed into it (not the case in the OP but very possible in general). Aside from that, I'd say that TRP offers a very particular explanation which might be true in some of the remaining cases, but certainly not all. Another potential factor is that she hasn't dated the new guy long enough to be comfortable enough (implied in the case in the OP), or she might have had a change of heart independent of dating. Became religious, grew out of a college party phase, whatever. Overall, it's a very particular case that I doubt is common, and certainly due to a number is possible explanations, not just the one TRP puts forward.

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[–]PoopInMyBottomNot Red 14 points15 points16 points 10 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

[–]KrispyMcSockington 6 points7 points8 points 10 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

Yeah sure but you don't want to be in that theoretical 10%. Furthermore, women have no qualms with making men attend anti rape classes to teach them how not to rape despite the small number of men who do rape. At least in the AF/BB view they are protecting themselves from a 1 in 10 situation (would you cross the road on a 10% chance of being run over or date someone with a 10% chance of an STD?).

It might not be women as a whole. I do believe good women exist, but you cannot ignore that this happens. It also happens in a context where divorce rates are high, women initiate most divorces and couples do indeed have intimacy issues. Not everyone gets married to their perfect partner, has regular sex until their 60s and retires without divorce. A significant chunk of those divorced men feel they were taken for a ride.

It is easy to write their views off as bitter but the women aren't demonised, sent to classes that tell then they are sexual criminals waiting to happen or that it is unfair to treat your husband differently because he isn't your ex boyfriend. When she leaves they will probably ask him what he did, not whether she cheated because she didn't find him attractive but wanted to secure his resources.

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[–] artietx 0 points 1 point 2 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Because lying by omission is lying? I thought you said she shouldn't have lied? And because he deserves the right to know that so he can choose whether to stay with her or not. And unhelpful for what? For her leading him on so he believes he's the best for her and they should have the future together?

That part that you forgot to mention IS significant in this situation.

Don't you see how your version is lying? Look at these two sentences and tell me you don't see how they have different meaning:

1) Your version

I've done it previously but don't want to do it again.

2) Version from OP:

I've had enjoyable anal sex with my ex previously but don't want to do it with you.

If you're saying she should've been honest, then how can't you see that using the first version is NOT being HONEST?

[–] MissMaude 1 point 2 points 3 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–] artietx 0 points 1 point 2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

No, it's not to hurt him, it's to give them to opportunity to decide if he wants to be with her. That "additional level" of details changes stuff completely. It does let him know that she's not sexually compatible with him. That she wanted and liked it with someone else, but not with him. So now he can decide if he wants to keep working on their sexual life or find someone (and let her do so) more compatible.

Anyways, do you now see why trp says about hamsters etc? It's none of your business whether it will hurt him or no. I bet uncovering that she lied hurt him more than if she said the truth. You are literally saying that she should lie. But you don't care about him, you care about her. IT's not that it will hurt him, it's that it can hurt him and then he could leave her.

If you don't want to know your husband's past - good for you. But she shouldn't decide if he wants to know about her past.

Oh you know what? If you think she should be thoughtful why wouldn't you recommend her saying something like: "I've don't it previously but won't do it again. Do you want to know if I liked it? Do you want to know if I just don't want it with you?" And then if he says yes - he made his choice. And on the other hand she didn't volunteer anything that'd hurt him.

[–] MissMaude 1 point 2 points 3 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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I do not understand a mindset where someone insists that their partner engages in every activity that they engaged with their exes. Which appears to be the RP standard of "she thinks I am as hot as he was."

No, they don't require her to repeat every single activity. You aren't getting it.

They see - and for a good reason - that IF there's an activity they want and she won't try it with them when she enjoyed it with others - then they aren't that hot for her.

For example, if a guy didn't care about anal and didn't want it, than he wouldn't care that she did it with others. He just would never bring the topic up. Moreover, if she like anal before - SHE would bring it up, and I can bet money that he would try it with her, even if he didn't really want it. The guy in the story obviously DID want to try anal. And she lied to him, and she enjoyed it with someone else, but didn't want it with him. Do you see the difference between engaging in every activity they had with the exes and caring about specific ones that a certain (current) guy wants to try?

[–]MissMaude 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

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[–]lettucescreamCollege STEM-lord 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

First of all, how can you even tell if she's using him for "resources"? What if she's the breadwinner? Second of all, some people are just more sexually compatible. That doesn't mean most women are attracted to "bad boys" and string along the nice guys. You just don't hear about the flip side because it's simply not as exciting as upholding the clichè "women love bad boys and disrespect guys who treat them right." Just because a guy is nice doesn't mean he's automatically unattractive; in fact, my boyfriend's unwavering kindness and optimism ("beta" traits) are what made me extremely attracted to him because I tend to be more pessimistic and cold, so having him around makes me feel like a better version of myself. And yes, I'll try almost anything with him because I trust him and his sense of excitement about the world is super hot. There are things I have done with him that I had not done with the tons of other boys before because I know that he respects me and I respect him.

[–][deleted] 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Yonderlander 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link

Going to share my experience. I have a high sex drive and when I was single I was ridiculously sex deprived. I was desperate and the whole "Women can get sex anytime," narrative is bullshit, at least in the UK and Japan where I've experienced being a single woman.

So over the months I get really really horny and feel so sexed up I want to do anything and everything. I'm not doing certain things because he's a 'bad boy,' I just want to be more freaky because of all the pent up hormones. Then when you are in a couple you both tend to go a bit vanilla and not want sex so much. (I'll stipulate I would never really turn my partner down, RPW don't have the monopoly on that.) Add kids and it's more quickies rather than whips and chains. It's not that either of us only save the freaky stuff for other people, we both just have enough sex, we aren't super horny and sex deprived and that effects the kind of sex you have when you have it.

I'm not speaking for everyone, just myself. Does this help?

[–]sexydude01[S] 7 points8 points9 points 10 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXXredder than dudes (lady mod) 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

[–]Xander_DB 7 points8 points9 points 10 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXXredder than dudes (lady mod) 11 points12 points13 points 10 years ago* (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]Xander_DB 11 points12 points13 points 10 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXXredder than dudes (lady mod) 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]PemBayliss 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXXredder than dudes (lady mod) 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Yonderlander 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Xander_DB 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Yonderlander 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I think you're mistake is thinking that the woman was more into the other guy, and more compatible with him, because she did certain things with him. This isn't the case. I don't do sexual acts that I don't want to do because of some sliding scale of how much I like the guy as you are suggesting- that indicates that all women use sex as some sort of bartering tool. Most of us do things that we want to, some things we may have wanted to do them back then and we don't want to do them now, it has nothing to do with how into the guy we are. Do you get it?

As in my OP, my sexual appetites are different depending on whether I am completely sex-deprived and desperately horny or whether I'm coasting along busy raising kids and basically sexually satisfied, and I think it's the same for my partner. If a girl isn't into things that you feel you need then don't get together in the first place, I can agree with you on that. If you think that, because she did them with someone else that means she was more into him, then I am afraid either you are dead wrong or she is very sexually messed up.

[–]PemBayliss 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–] Yonderlander 0 points 1 point 2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheSonofLibertyUndecided 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]GridReXXredder than dudes (lady mod) 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]sexydude01[S] -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]BluePiller1776 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (57 children) | Copy Link

Is this a serious question? Alright, Ill bite.

very willing to do anal with her ex bad boy boyfriend

Where does it say her Ex is a bad boy compared to this guy? Where does it say this new boyfriend is just a provider and not a AF?

There are tons of different reasons on why she might not want anal with her new boyfriend. She could just not feel comfortable with him yet to do it. His dick could be way bigger than her Ex's. Maybe her ex was better in bed and made it more enjoyable than her current one. Its literally just butt stuff, its not like she isnt sleeping with him at all.

Is it bad that she lied about never having it to her new boyfriend? Yes. She wasnt honest about it and its never fun to find out your girlfriend is lying to you.

Your sex life will change with each person you are in a relationship with. Both these people need to realize this. This girl needs to be open and honest with her sexuality with her new boyfriend and he needs to stop moping around like a kid who didnt get the toy he wanted.

[–]sexydude01[S] 8 points9 points10 points 10 years ago (49 children) | Copy Link

[–]BluePiller1776 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (34 children) | Copy Link

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[–]GaiusScaevolusMod TRP/AskTRP/BaM 6 points7 points8 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–] BluePiller1776 2 points 3 points 4 points 10 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

OP's assertion of AF/BB would happen again.

This isnt AF/BB unless you consider being a normal respectful adult as being "Alpha."

9/10s of the girls I have had anal with initially said no. My response has always been "Okay, its something I think is really hot and would be willing to take slow if you change your mind." and then I dont nag her about it. Showing you respect boundaries and care more about both of you enjoying the sex is the best way to get her to explore new things.

They should call it quits though. The dude can man up and the woman can reconsider how she treats future partners.

Ill agree that the girl should not have lied about this, even if she was trying to spare his feelings. They guy should man up as well, sex isnt a toy you can whine your partner into giving you.

[–] KrispyMcSockington 0 points 1 point 2 points 10 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

You are assuming the "normal, respectful adult" thing is the norm. Even that cannot save a relationship judging by the high rate of divorce. Feelings are strange things. A man who does his work, who is an upstanding citizen can fall apart if his partner wrecks the relationship. Something like anal might be important to him. Her intimacy and trust she gave to the previous guy is something he doesn't get. Being upset is not an unjustifiable action. Your anal success rates are great which means they valued you enough to want to do it. Good for you!

Now if your wife admitted to giving her exes anal while you got starfish maintenance sex, you'd probably be annoyed. I am not saying he should stay with her but have a little sympathy. The guy just discovered he isn't worth that to her. She doesn't value him that much. That's going to hurt.

For a blue piller you sound very red in your advice to the guy...

[–] BluePiller1776 1 point 2 points 3 points 10 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

A man who does his work, who is an upstanding citizen can fall apart if his partner wrecks the relationship.

I wasnt talking about how good a citizen you are. No women is turned on because you paid your taxes on time.

The guy just discovered he isn't worth that to her

His "worth" has nothing to do with it. Sex is about communication and respect, not worth. If he was better in bed, he would probably be getting anal.

Now if your wife admitted to giving her exes anal while you got starfish maintenance sex, you'd probably be annoyed.

I've had ex's admit to doing things with ex's that they wont do with me. I didnt sulk around and worry about why my SMV wasnt high enough. We talked about it and I respected her reasoning. Sometimes it led to us doing the act, other times it didnt. Its just sex.

For a blue piller you sound very red in your advice to the guy...

Yea, its weird that a guy can still have an active sex life without being a misogynistic prick, right?

[–] KrispyMcSockington 0 points 1 point 2 points 10 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

His "worth" has nothing to do with it. Sex is about communication and respect, not worth. If he was better in bed, he would probably be getting anal.

This is terribly inaccurate. If worth had nothing to do with it and communication did the trick, there'd be a hell of a lot of nice guys getting laid. A woman will only deem you worthy of sex with her if you meet her attraction requirements. They may not be high, or maybe they are. But to assume it is not about "worth" is misleading because a woman willing to do sexual acts with previous partners and not willing to do so with you does mean she sees you differently. What happens if you liked those sexual acts but she doesn't want to do them? What if you only discovered after a serious commitment she did those things for previous boyfriends? It would hurt and his self esteem would probably take a knock.

I've had ex's admit to doing things with ex's that they wont do with me. I didnt sulk around and worry about why my SMV wasnt high enough. We talked about it and I respected her reasoning. Sometimes it led to us doing the act, other times it didnt. Its just sex.

And yet they are exes for one reason or another. Look, I get what you're saying. But whether you sulked or not, she definitely saw you differently than her exes. If you left her, great. If she left you, well, there's a reason for that. As for the "it's just sex" part, you're talking about it extremely nonchalantly when the bulk of men experience it as more than "just sex". Men work damn hard to get laid and fail more often than not. Perhaps you're one of the lucky few who gets a lot of sex, but the bulk of men don't get laid easily enough to call it "just sex". Honestly, that's what women would call it and they get laid far easier than men do.

Yea, its weird that a guy can still have an active sex life without being a misogynistic prick, right?

Yes, because I wasn't calling you misogynistic. I was pointing out the practicality of your advice, not whether you hated women or not. Furthermore, it is rather ironic that TRP spends so much time trying to be more sexually appealing to women yet people call them misogynistic. They may not have the healthiest view on the world, but their goal of being more attractive and more pleasing to women is very much contrasted by the blue pill and feminist narrative which is not to make things easier for men at all. As for your active sex life, perhaps that's why you're not seeing things in a red pill way: you've probably never needed to.

For a man who can get laid, TRP view must seem like a bunch of angry assholes trying to get revenge against women. For men who struggle to get female attention, it's one of the few places that will listen. I mean, I understand why TBP would not find TRP's stance ideal at all, but to ignore the struggle that many men have is in itself a form of misandry. If TBP worked there wouldn't be TRP. From what I've seen there are far more TRP folks who used to be BP than BP who used to be RP, and even then many of them rather turn purple.

[–] BluePiller1776 0 points 1 point 2 points 10 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

What happens if you liked those sexual acts but she doesn't want to do them?

boohoo life isnt about your dick

What if you only discovered after a serious commitment she did those things for previous boyfriends?

boohoo life isnt about your dick

Furthermore, it is rather ironic that TRP spends so much time trying to be more sexually appealing to women yet people call them misogynistic.

really? I mean really? Like are you serious?

As for your active sex life, perhaps that's why you're not seeing things in a red pill way: you've probably never needed to.

No, I would say I've never thought like trp so I have a healthy sex life.

Men work damn hard to get laid and fail more often than not. Perhaps you're one of the lucky few who gets a lot of sex, but the bulk of men don't get laid easily enough to call it "just sex".

Every man I have ever met you got laid consistently viewed it as "just sex." I will tell anyone who want to get better with women to do the same. If you stake all your worth on how often you sleep with women your gunna have a bad time.

[–] KrispyMcSockington 0 points 1 point 2 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

As opposed to:

https://witchwind.wordpress.com/2013/12/15/piv-is-always-rape-ok/

Over here a woman calls men pigs and blames them for marriages decline...women do nothing wrong apparently.

http://m.motherjones.com/kevin-drum/2016/03/marriage-declining-men-pigs

And of course, men have ruined the world and women must fix it:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/SCUM_Manifesto

And of course men should be killed:

http://www.examiner.com/article/feminist-hatemongers-on-twitter-push-campaign-to-kill-all-men

The difference is that popular media almost always has support for feminist views, even the misandrist ones like on Jezebel. I used to work for a media company and women's issues were always pushed to the fore. There is no male equivalent. It's all stuck in an echo chamber on the "manosphere". Feminists get to influence government policy but men's groups don't. Their misogyny pretty much stays as rants on an internet forum while feminists have convinced the government that men need to be taught not to rape.

It is no wonder you'd dismiss how other men feel. You don't have the problems those men do so your advice and views would not be helpful to them. You seem to have little sympathy for how they feel because if a woman complained about all the men in her life I doubt you'd call her a misandrist. I don't think their (TRP'S) views are always the healthiest but to ignore how they feel about their interactions with women is the same as ignoring women's interactions with men. I mean, when you say "boohoo life isn't about your dick" would you be willing to say something similar to women who don't get sexual satisfaction from their partners?

I would love to see how your fellow feminists would respond to you, a man, telling them life isn't about their vagina. They'd probably remind you that as a man you cannot truly be a feminist, just an ally:

http://theothermccain.com/2015/05/13/men-cannot-be-feminists/

https://kareningalasmith.com/2013/12/16/thanks-and-all-but-no-thanks-i-dont-want-men-in-my-feminism/

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Second_Sex

There is a debate about whether to include men or not but they aren't rushing to tackle men's issues at all.

[–] BluePiller1776 0 points 1 point 2 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

As opposed to...

Yes, there are extreme views on the other side. These views are just as bad as radical pro-men's ones. Two wrongs dont make a right. I will criticize radical feminists just as I would radical men's groups.

woman complained about all the men in her life I doubt you'd call her a misandrist

I wouldnt. I also wouldnt call a man who complains about his bad luck with women a misogynist. I would say a women who thinks all men are pigs who deserve to die one though. Just as much as I call those who propagate "women are objects" a misogynist.

http://theothermccain.com/2015/05/13/men-cannot-be-feminists/

This is from an anti-feminism site so I'm just going ignore this one

https://kareningalasmith.com/2013/12/16/thanks-and-all-but-no-thanks-i-dont-want-men-in-my-feminism/

This simply talks about men coming into a feminist-space. Ill agree that if there is a meeting about "women-problems" I have no place there. I have nothing to offer that space. Why would I want to contribute. I also dont go to plummer's conventions but that doesnt mean I cant recognize when my toilet is clogged...

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Second_Sex

This is a book I dont own. How can I give an opinion?

There is a debate about whether to include men or not but they aren't rushing to tackle men's issues at all.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskFeminists/comments/3syhda/a_list_of_feminist_resources_tackling_mens_issues/

[–] KrispyMcSockington 0 points 1 point 2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

This is from an anti-feminism site so I'm just going ignore this one

How convenient, ignoring an opposing view.

This simply talks about men coming into a feminist-space. Ill agree that if there is a meeting about "women-problems" I have no place there. I have nothing to offer that space. Why would I want to contribute. I also dont go to plummer's conventions but that doesnt mean I cant recognize when my toilet is clogged...

This is actually an important point. The fact that they don't want YOU, a man, involved means that you do not have much of a say. Saying you're not a plumber and therefore don't go to one is disingenuous. You call yourself a feminist but you actually don't have much say in how things are run. At best you are an ally. No matter how much you've read up on plumbing, at best you're an assistant who can recognise the toilet is clogged, but they blame you and other assistants for clogging it regardless of whether you've done so or not. You're supporting an organisation that doesn't consider your views important. You're just a body to make up the numbers while they tell men (you included) how you're wrecking the world and toilets, but asking you to comply while they continue to blame you.

This is a book I dont own. How can I give an opinion?

Ah, she was the one who said men cannot be feminists. It was linked from a point on another wikipedia article. Here it is:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men_and_feminism

I will quote the relevant part.

"There is debate within feminism over whether or not men can be feminists. Some feminists, like Simone de Beauvoir in her seminal text The Second Sex, argue that men cannot be feminists because of the intrinsic differences between the sexes,[23] Separatist feminists also hold this view, arguing that only by rejecting the masculine perspective entirely can feminism allow women to define themselves on their own terms, and that the involvement of men in the feminist movement will inculcate the values of patriarchy into any social change. Others argue that men's identification with the feminist movement is necessary for furthering the feminist causes. A number of feminist writers maintain that identifying as a feminist is the strongest stand men can take in the struggle against sexism against women."

Now, I am sure there are some people who would argue that men CAN be feminists. However, if you're part of the movement, it would mean you get to have some say about the way things are done. I don't know how many female feminists would be okay with that. Some such as this source here:

https://fold.cm/read/louelledenor/no-men-cannot-be-feminists-q8SE6YYM

Claim that men just cannot be feminists because it is about women flourishing. Not men. There are also several different forms of feminism (I studied feminist philosophy at university) and that is problematic because it weakens their stand point. Take sex positivism and those who are against slut shaming, while on the sex negative side some condemn pornography and view men as sexual predators just waiting to rape. Somewhere in between all this there's this over-riding message that men are bad, women are victims of men, that women deserve more for being victims, and men are actively trying to oppress women for no other reason than they're women and men are intrinsically bad (such as all men being potential rapists).

Finally, in that link you sent me is a highly voted comment that says the following:

"Not particularly. I have actually read most of these. They break down into three categories: 1. Repeating feminist rhetoric without investigating men's actual experiences. 3. Victim-blaming men by implying or stating that they cause and benefit from their own misfortune and abuse. 3. Stating the same thing advocates for male victims and men's rights activists state, but considering it valid because now a feminist said it. Incidentally, I listed them in the order in which they occur in the list. I addressed some of the things on this list in response to another comment. I think more troubling is this: "I have not proof read all articles, if you find any issues with any of them, please say so." If you have not checked your material to make sure is says what you claim, that is rather lazy and dishonest. Yet I think the bigger issue is this: "This is a list I made a while back because I got tired of all the 'feminists hate/don’t care about men' and wanted a resource where I could just pick links of feminists caring about issue x or just smack up the whole list in case someone made a lazy statement about feminists not caring at all. " Making a list of random examples does not address the broader issue of how feminists in general treat men and men's issues. For every one of the items on this list I can present a counter example of feminists doing the opposite, often a counter example involving the same feminists from the list. This list does not counter things like feminists groups in India opposing changing India's rape law to allow the government to prosecute women who commit rape. It does not counter situations like the Rape Crisis network banning centers that provide support for male victims. It does not even refute something simple like feminists demanding that a school not celebrate International Men's Day because "the main focus of gender equality work should continue to be on the inequalities faced by women." That is what you have to counter. Real world examples of feminists behaving badly. Citing random examples that apparently the OP never actually read just does not cut it. Men deserve better than empty platitudes. And to be honest, if feminists were helping and supporting men as much as they claim you would not need to create such a list in the first place."

That pretty much sums it up.

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Maybe I'm wrong, I'm just speculating based on the available information here.

But to me the fact that its specifically anal is interesting, because theres no direct procreational benefit to anal. (And honestly its not even that physically pleasurable prepared to the self-lubricating vagina.)

A large part of the appeal of anal comes specifically from the taboo aspect of it. From the dirtiness.

So we have a situation where a person will do taboo stuff with one partner who they saw as a "bad" partner, but not their partner who they see as "nice". To me that sounds a lot like madonna/whore style compartmentalization. I'm reminded of a joke from the movie Analyse This:

Dr. Ben Sobel: What happened with your wife last night?

Boss Paul Vitti: I wasn't with my wife, I was with my girlfriend.

Dr. Ben Sobel: Are you having marriage problems?

Boss Paul Vitti: No.

Dr. Ben Sobel: Then why do you have a girlfriend?

Boss Paul Vitti: What, are you gonna start moralizing on me?

Dr. Ben Sobel: No, I'm not, I'm just trying to understand, why do you have a girlfriend?

Boss Paul Vitti: I do things with her I can't do with my wife.

Dr. Ben Sobel: Why can't you do them with your wife?

Boss Paul Vitti: Hey, that's the mouth she kisses my kids goodnight with! What are you, crazy?

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I'm not saying TRP makes the posts on relationship subs. Most of the trolls who post on relationship subs are just bored, regular people who feel like creative writing.

Ok fine, I'll confirm your AFBB theory. There are people who exist that use another person for their financial security and fuck other people on the side. These people are both men and women from a varying range of ages; and sure, on average it does seem like these people are more likely to be female! (though the reasons for this aren't as simple as "women are immoral and cannot truly love someone") A thread on a sex sub and all the "personal experiences" in the world will not make me change my belief that humans are complex creatures who form numerous different types of relationships and don't fit into narrow-sighted characterizations. Until someone studies the behavior of a million women from each culture, I will not believe in these stereotypes.

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[–]sexydude01[S] 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

[–]Justbeingme145 7 points8 points9 points 10 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]sexydude01[S] 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–] Justbeingme145 3 points 4 points 5 points 10 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–] sexydude01 [ S ] 4 points 5 points 6 points 10 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–] Justbeingme145 4 points 5 points 6 points 10 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–] sexydude01 [ S ] 5 points 6 points 7 points 10 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–] Justbeingme145 3 points 4 points 5 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–] sexydude01 [ S ] 2 points 3 points 4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–] Justbeingme145 2 points 3 points 4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–] lettucescream College STEM-lord 2 points 3 points 4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–] sexydude01 [ S ] 4 points 5 points 6 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]oilpainter777incel leader -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–] Justbeingme145 0 points 1 point 2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ozymandias271That's not how evolution works. 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]sexydude01[S] 8 points9 points10 points 10 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

[–]KrispyMcSockington 9 points10 points11 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]thenoorys 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheChemist158Non-Feminist Blue Pill Woman 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]aanarchist 6 points7 points8 points 10 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheChemist158Non-Feminist Blue Pill Woman 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]aanarchist 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheChemist158Non-Feminist Blue Pill Woman 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]aanarchist 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RandomSurf1 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheChemist158Non-Feminist Blue Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]RandomSurf1 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–] TheChemist158 Non-Feminist Blue Pill Woman 0 points 1 point 2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]literallyhereyellow pill gender bending lizard-1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago [recovered] (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ozymandias271That's not how evolution works. 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]sexydude01[S] 8 points9 points10 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]_Nymphae 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (106 children) | Copy Link

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[–]PoopInMyBottomNot Red 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

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[–]PoopInMyBottomNot Red 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]sexydude01[S] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]PoopInMyBottomNot Red 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (63 children) | Copy Link

[–]sexydude01[S] 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (62 children) | Copy Link

[–]PoopInMyBottomNot Red 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Justbeingme145 7 points8 points9 points 10 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]sexydude01[S] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]Justbeingme145 8 points9 points10 points 10 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]sexydude01[S] 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link

You didn't really give a good explanation though.

She isn't more "compatible" with the ex boyfriend in terms of resource provisioning or in terms of an LTR (most likely because the alpha dude is fucking other women in his harem).

She appears to be using the new guy for resources despite not being really attracted to him sexually like the alpha.

Ergo, he has been relegated to the "beta bucks" role that offers all negative for him. If he was stupid enough to get married, he'd be FUCKED. Why get into a marriage/LTR with this type of female (>90% of women >26 years of age in America). Its illogical.

This is why learning about female's sexual past and behavior are essential for beta bucks.

She instinctively knows that she has to keep this secret from beta bucks while beta bucks instinctively knows he has been played.

[–]Justbeingme145 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 10 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–] sen--sen 2 points 3 points 4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]sexydude01[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–] wombatinaburrow feminist marsupial 4 points 5 points 6 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]sen--sen 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (47 children) | Copy Link

[–]sexydude01[S] 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]Justbeingme145 7 points8 points9 points 10 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]sexydude01[S] 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]Justbeingme145 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]sexydude01[S] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–] Justbeingme145 2 points 3 points 4 points 10 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

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[–] sexydude01 [ S ] 0 points 1 point 2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

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[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]sexydude01[S] 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–] wombatinaburrow feminist marsupial 2 points 3 points 4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]lady_bakerPurple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (28 children) | Copy Link

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]lady_bakerPurple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]lady_bakerPurple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]sexydude01[S] 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

[–]lady_bakerPurple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link

[–]sexydude01[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]sublimemongrelBecky, Esq. (woman) 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

[–] sexydude01 [ S ] 0 points 1 point 2 points 10 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

[–] sublimemongrel Becky, Esq. (woman) 2 points 3 points 4 points 10 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–] sexydude01 [ S ] 0 points 1 point 2 points 10 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–] sublimemongrel Becky, Esq. (woman) 2 points 3 points 4 points 10 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–] sexydude01 [ S ] 0 points 1 point 2 points 10 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–] sublimemongrel Becky, Esq. (woman) 2 points 3 points 4 points 10 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–] sexydude01 [ S ] 0 points 1 point 2 points 10 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–] sublimemongrel Becky, Esq. (woman) 2 points 3 points 4 points 10 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–] sexydude01 [ S ] 0 points 1 point 2 points 10 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–] sublimemongrel Becky, Esq. (woman) 2 points 3 points 4 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–] sexydude01 [ S ] 0 points 1 point 2 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–] sublimemongrel Becky, Esq. (woman) 2 points 3 points 4 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–] sexydude01 [ S ] 0 points 1 point 2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–] sublimemongrel Becky, Esq. (woman) 1 point 2 points 3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–] lady_baker Purple Pill Woman 1 point 2 points 3 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–] sexydude01 [ S ] -1 points 0 points 1 point 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–] ginasaurus-rex Blue Pill Woman 2 points 3 points 4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]lady_bakerPurple Pill Woman 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]turbotmx 3 points3 points3 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]sexydude01[S] 6 points7 points8 points 10 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]exit_sandmanstill not the MGTOW sandman FFS 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Uhuh.

This lunch-time talk drew accusations of sexism and careless scholarship, and an intense negative response followed, both nationally and at Harvard.[34] Summers apologized repeatedly.[35] Nevertheless, the controversy is speculated to have contributed to his resigning his position as president of Harvard University the following year, as well as costing Summers the job of Treasury Secretary in Obama's administration.[36]

Summers's protégée Sheryl Sandberg has defended him saying that "Larry has been a true advocate for women throughout his career" at the World Bank and Treasury. Sandberg described of the lunch talk "What few seem to note is that it is remarkable that he was giving the speech in the first place – that he cared enough about women's careers and their trajectory in the fields of math and science to proactively analyze the issues and talk about what was going wrong".[37]

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]lettucescreamCollege STEM-lord 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]sexydude01[S] 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Justbeingme145 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]turbotmx 4 points4 points4 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]lettucescreamCollege STEM-lord 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]turbotmx2 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Justbeingme145 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]turbotmx 4 points4 points4 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]lettucescreamCollege STEM-lord 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]turbotmx3 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Justbeingme145 -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]turbotmx 5 points5 points5 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Justbeingme145 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]turbotmx 5 points5 points5 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Second part of your comment made no sense to me, I couldn't apprehend it, sorry. Perhaps if you rephrase it and deliver the meaning more clearly I will get at what you're trying to say.

Why?

Because having a sex problem and going to r/sex is something anyone can do. It's a very casual thing that does not require you to be a feminist SJW or a manosphere Redpiller. You are an average dude (or a girl), you never heard of that "redpill" or "mgtow" or "sjw", feminism is something they talk about all the time but you didn't really get into it and it doesn't seem to matter to you, as long as you don't say bad things. This is an average person, and this person will most likely post on r/sex with 600k subs, rather than scary places like TRP or SRS. And guess what the average person thinks and confirms? Yeah. Redpill

[–] sexydude01 [ S ] 2 points 3 points 4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 10 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 10 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 10 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]oilpainter777incel leader -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]PemBayliss 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]turbotmx 2 points2 points2 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 10 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]AutoModerator[M] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (27 children) | Copy Link

[–]purple_lockPurplish 12 points13 points14 points 10 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

[–]truthuncensored 11 points12 points13 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]sexydude01[S] 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXXredder than dudes (lady mod) 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]truthuncensored 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

You are too, I see.

I'll keep beating the drum because you folks make it so easy and obvious.

Pretending like women don't do this shit en masse (AWALT) is as disingenuous as saying "not everyone is starving" about the food situation in North Korea. While that statement may be true, it ignores the fact that there is a food problem there. And really, that's the point isn't it? If someone replies thusly on North Korea, you can bet your bottom dollar they have an agenda.

We know what the agenda is. I like shining a bright light on the inconsistencies so the agenda becomes visible.. blatant, even (like the guy whose TIFU post about losing wife, kids, job got deleted).

Your agenda has you pushing patently ridiculous premises, like the fact that actors often have less than pure motives and they follow those motives. Your agenda paints women not as rational actors, exercising their options in a way that benefits them first and foremost, but as gentle peaceful persons who are somehow internally inclined to not take advantage of the prevailing good situation.

Suuure, women could take advantage of rape laws, divorce laws, dating conventions, etc but they don't because they're soooo good inside. We shouldn't change the laws, we should just trust them. Yeah right, OK. And if you believe that, I've got a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you..

[–]GridReXXredder than dudes (lady mod) 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]purple_lockPurplish 6 points7 points8 points 10 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

As for your friends; you get what you look for. A dude who's polite and gentle will attract polite, demure girls, whereas a man who's pushing a party animal vibe will get attract bottle popping girls.

Right right, so tell me again, why on earth would you want to be a polite and gentle as a man? I mean, you seriously twisted the wording around here, "polite," "demure," vs "bottle popping." The truth is "polite" girl is actually not really attracted to her man, and the "bottle popper" actually means a woman who isn't sexually withholding to her man.

Being gentle and polite and respectful has never, not once in my experience got me, or any one of my friends, or anyone I've spoken too, or anyone I've read about, anything but the most boring, vanilla uninspired sex I can think of. And if they say anything about it, they're an entitled pervert with "unrealistic expectations."

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]exit_sandmanstill not the MGTOW sandman FFS 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]thenoorys 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]purple_lockPurplish 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]sexydude01[S] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]exit_sandmanstill not the MGTOW sandman FFS 8 points9 points10 points 10 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]exit_sandmanstill not the MGTOW sandman FFS 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]-IIIII--------IIIII- 1 points1 points1 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]exit_sandmanstill not the MGTOW sandman FFS 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]-IIIII--------IIIII- 9 points9 points9 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Women are not stupid. They know, somewhere deep down inside, that AF/BB exists. They know the "bad boy" trope is there for a reason. They know the advice they give men (be yourself, be sweet, etc) is self-serving so they can have more prospect commitment.

So why do they lie about it to themselves and every male? Well... let's think about it with the example given in the OP. How does it make them look when they give the bad boy anal and everything and the good guy some vanilla sex? The same good guy who'd be an excellent provider and stable and has the approval of her family and friends? What does it say about women when they incentivize bad boy behavior and punish (by restricting sexual rewards) good guy behavior?

The example in the OP is one of my pet peeves. Every time I read one of those stories, it's like I slightly shift away from purple pill and go more and more red. Maybe I should do myself a favor and go full red already, I'm really craving some anal.

[–]aanarchist 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]-IIIII--------IIIII-2 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It really sucks for me. For normal guys, they can be content with using RP theory to pump and dump sluts. For me, my dream when I'm old is to have a giant family that I'm the great grandfather of. To teach my kids and grand kids and great grand kids to be the strongest versions of themselves and become conquerors who expand the family legacy.

But I know that men who don't get lots of women are respected less by society. I know that even the most religious family's daughters can sneak off and do stuff today thanks to US hook up culture spreading rapidly through social media. The idea of never marrying upsets me, but I looked at the statistics of divorce/child support and read the married life stories and I can't in good conscious rip my self off with such a shitty arrangement. The risks are too high.

[–][deleted] 10 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

You can't spread your genes through putting your dick in a butt.

The OP's "mating strategy" logic doesen't make sense- the AF/BB evo-psych theory is meant to be predicated on the idea that women want the alphas genes.

Except the point of contention here is she wanted him in her butthole.

OP goes on to say that the new boyfriend is upset on a "biological level" because another male has been in her butthole and he hasn't.

Wouldn't it be far more simple to say he is upset on an emotional level? The dick that was in her butthole 5 years ago or whatever is not an immediate threat to the propagation of his genes.

An insistance on analysing the situation through rigid "mating strategy" lens doesn't seem like a very illuminating way to address the problem, rather than admitting that theres something more psychological/emotional going on here.

[–]raindientRed Pill Man 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]yo_radical_one 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]sexydude01[S] 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]jonascfPurple Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]sexydude01[S] 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]jonascfPurple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SkinnySweaty 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]midnightvulpine 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]sexydude01[S] 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]midnightvulpine 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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