You see this myth all over the place, from PPD to Twox and back again. So, let's start at it's source, Paul Dolan. https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/2019/6/4/18650969/married-women-miserable-fake-paul-dolan-happiness This article is the short version, but let me go the long way 'round.
Let me first and foremost pop out the only real numbers and source I need for my argument, before going into how all the other ones need to be torn down.
https://ifstudies.org/blog/married-people-are-living-their-best-lives
Comparing across relationship status, adults who are married are by far the happiest, as measured by how they evaluate their current and future life. In 2023, married adults ages 25 to 50 are 17 percentage points more likely to be thriving than adults who never married, up from 12 percentage points in 2009. The gap favoring those who are married is consistently large over the entire 2009 to 2023 period, though it ranges from a low of 12 percentage points to a high of 24 percentage points.
Paul Dolan misinterpreted a survey group, and came to complete wrong conclusion. It was a phone interview survey and the group was marked as "Spouse absent" which Paul took to mean that they had asked the woman about how happy she was while their spouse was out of the room. Really it meant that the spouse was no longer living with them. Surely this hack's influence was cut off and retractions were made for this fuck up, right? No. To a hilarious degree, every article that came from Paul's fuck-up liked the hate driven ad revenue too much, so they kept the articles up, but maybe threw out a disclaimer that Paul was an idiot. Here are the articles that still cite Paul today:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/202102/why-so-many-single-women-without-children-are-happy#:~:text=According%20to%20happiness%20expert%20Paul%20Dolan%2C%20a%20professor,the%20same%20cannot%20generally%20be%20said%20for%20women.
https://www.cosmo.ph/relationships/women-happier-no-marriage-no-children-a704-20190528
https://www.elle.com.au/life/sex-relationships/single-women-happy-study-20582/
https://www.fox5dc.com/news/unmarried-childless-women-are-happier-expert-says
https://www.businessinsider.com/unmarried-childless-women-are-happiest-expert-says-2019-5
https://www.businessinsider.com/why-women-are-happier-when-theyre-single-than-men-2017-11?r=US&IR=T
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/jan/17/why-are-increasing-numbers-of-women-choosing-to-be-single
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-happier-without-children-or-a-spouse-happiness-expert
Some of these articles are also just hilariously bad. The fox article basically does nothing but parrot the Guardian article. The 2019 Guardian article says it removes Dolan's remarks that are based on a misunderstanding, but he is the only source cited in the entire short article, so it's just an entire article of why something that is not true might be happening. The more you read, the stupider it gets.
Paul Dolan should really stop claiming to be a happiness expert, he is much better at outrage. But is he the only hack you need to be watching out for? No. Let me welcome to the story, Bella Depaulo.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/202304/are-married-people-happier-than-single-people
Bella's main argument is that while yes, married people report being the happiest, that is misleading because you also have to account for the divorced, the people who want to find partners but can't, and widows. And taken altogether, people who are purposely not trying to get in relationships are happy that those that are or have. Now, if you're very smart, you may have noticed that the argument just changed. Bella isn't arguing that married aren't happier. She's arguing that giving up on marriage is better than not doing so, because the possibility of failure or heartbreak outweighs the possible benefits of success. In other words, yes marriage is best, but giving up on marriage is the safer bet. Now, I don't know about anyone else, but I'm of the opinion that giving up on marriage because it's the safe bet is stupidly defeatist. But regardless, it's not the point, the point I'm trying to debunk is that single people are happier, and that is not what Bella DePaulo is saying.
Here's some articles quoting Bella Depaulo:
https://news.ucsb.edu/2024/021352/embracing-single-life-love-intimacy-and-family-beyond-couple
https://time.com/6342853/single-life-rewards-essay/
So, if you can find me an article that does not quote Bella DePaulo or Paul Dolan, I will happily look into it and it's arguments. But for now, I have not been able to find one. I will concede though that some articles will point out that the reasons for married people being happier might be arbitrary, such as them having more tax benefits and social stigma around being lonely.
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