Tips on not feeling bad about “hitting the wall”

HappilyMrs · 2021-01-27T10:20:28+00:00

Find a decent man and settle down. Remember that he will age too, and work on building something beautiful and special with him that means that your value is so much more than just your looks

ILoveCuteKitties · 2021-01-27T12:52:14+00:00

What’s interesting is that a healthy fit 30 year old women in the US can look better than an average 23 year old because so many women let themselves go and put on weight. Ladies if you want to continue to stand out as long as possible, get your diet and exercise on point. Gets some nice fitting clothes and flattering make up and you can out compete the many many husky girls in their 20s for a long time.

ThinWetSalamander · 2021-01-27T08:53:37+00:00

I read this as a 32/f and laugh a little. I thought the same things, but the reality is that women peak in their 30s. I’m only a couple years in and this decade is already waaay better than my twenties.

Your thirties will be exponentially better, I guarantee it.

You are more centered, more sure, less likely to be manipulated, less likely to be taken advantage of. You also iron out weird beauty issues and micro trend fallacies you may have indulged in during your twenties. Honestly, this is the time to apply everything you learned while dating. Be feminine, be classy, but take no shit.

FDSanon · 2021-01-27T21:45:15+00:00

I’m in my mid to late thirties and so is my husband. We both find people in their early 20s to be extremely annoying.

Younger women might be cute but they are annoying as hell to well-rounded, fully formed adult men.

Also, prioritize fitness, skincare and nutrition and you’ll continue to be attractive to men your own age for a very long time.

tianara101 · 2021-01-27T07:48:19+00:00

I’m 21, I would also like to know about this also.

But the consensus on here is to lock down a good man to be your captain before hitting the wall to spend your life with. Men get “wife goggles” I have heard and will want to stay with you and also for the sake of the kids and being a good RPW (if you choose to have them).

Mrswizardwizard · 2021-01-27T13:06:17+00:00

Red pill ideology is not the be all end all fact. It's an opinion some share, you can take what you want from it and leave the rest. I don't believe in 'the wall'. Women are valuable for more than just looks - we have personalities, smarts, etc and personally I don't see age as ugly in the first place. When I met my fiance he had a thing for older women (no I'm not older than him lol) but my point is that men all like different things and some even prefer older women, proving that they hold attractiveness. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that jazz. You're 18. Calm down. Looks aren't everything and they are super subjective. I felt this way at 18 too, but at 21 I can tell you it's a silly thing to worry about, you will still be a valuable and whole woman after 30. I will say I would try to find a partner now (I met my fiance at 18) because it's easier when you're young. It isn't because you're worthless at an older age - but more of the good men will be married off, have their own kids etc so there will be less to choose from.

Ionotropic_effect · 2021-01-27T13:26:57+00:00

Skincare, fitness, nutrition.

Not a popular option as some readers here don’t think woman should work, but I became a fitness instructor and this has been invaluable as I’ve learned the intricacies of fitness and body mechanics and have been teaching classes for the past 10 years and my body has literally improved with each passing year.

2021-01-27T18:56:12+00:00

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2021-01-27T10:09:33+00:00

I’m 27 going on 28 and look better than I did in my early 20s. Eat well, exercise, and take care of your skin. But also live by your values and better yourself. Plenty of good, single men in their 30s, and most aren’t dating women in their early 20s - although selection bias as those who do will take every opportunity to brag about it.

relaxilla420 · 2021-01-27T15:38:04+00:00

I just turned 30 and people dont believe me when I tell them. I mostly am assumed to be college student age. Having a fit, healthy body and taking care of your skin and hair does wonders. I worked a job where I had to check IDs of every customer and I've seen women who were only 23 - 24 who looked like they were in their mid to late 30s.

"The wall" is what happens to women who realize they didn't do anything to maintain themselves and now they're 32 and wondering why they dont look like they're 18 anymore. While simultaneously doing nothing to improve. Men can pick up on this attitude a mile away.

londonlover062674 · 2021-01-27T16:13:12+00:00

First of all, try to avoid building your life and self-worth around your looks - but do always take care of your health and fitness. If you consider good looks a pleasant side effect of fitness rather than the goal, you can build the life habits that keep you looking great well past your thirties. Eat well, exercise, lots of water, sunscreen, don't smoke - you will look and feel great.

30 is about where life took off for me - I never looked or felt better, and I was far happier and more confident than my 20s. Respect your body now, and your 30s will be lovely.

LateralThinker13 · 2021-01-27T22:33:03+00:00

You reconcile it by realizing that your looks and fertility are transient, and working on the attributes that make you worth more than just a pretty face. Grace, manners, poise, education, culture, nurturing... work on YOU, don't coast because you're young and cute. Maintain a slim weight, be pleasant and not catty or hypergamous, and you'll easily land a good guy.

lavachequirie · 2021-01-27T13:13:27+00:00

The wall is only an issue if you’re single, I think. Take good care of yourself, wear sunscreen, sleep lots, stay active, eat well, drink tons of water, and nourish your soul. Don’t worry about your looks. If you feel good inside, you’ll look good outside.

stayPositive890 · 2021-01-27T10:42:55+00:00

There are some great comments already. Take good care of yourself and also look for a partner who likes you for who you are. Don't go for a man who's with you only for your looks and your youth -- that will eventually fade away and he will leave you the moment it does. I've seen a lot of great couples who are older and still very much in love. I'm sure you've seen them too. Don't worry too much about it. Just keep working on being your best possible self -- physically, mentally, and emotionally, and choose a partner who loves you for you.

eatapeach18 · 2021-01-27T20:35:45+00:00

It’s a myth. I look better now (at 30), than I did when I was in college. I’m more fit, my hair and makeup are always clean and on point, I have a healthy skincare regimen, and I have a perfectly curated wardrobe full of flattering staple pieces. In college, I wore the ugliest fast fashion items, black eyeliner and glitter everywhere, stayed up late and partied too much (and my eyes and skin gave it away), and my diet was crap. It gets better after you graduate and begin your career.

lamerthanfiction · 2021-01-27T15:28:19+00:00

The men that write those stupid comments are not the kind of men you want anyway.

Actually dominant and desirable men aren’t wasting their time insulting women on Reddit. They are out in the real world working, going to school, and accomplishing things in their lives.

Focus on being the absolute best version of yourself, and you will find a partner who values you as that complete person, not as a vessel for their ego.

lovelyllamas · 2021-01-28T00:43:37+00:00

I’m 30 and tbh I look better than I did at 18. Not to mention my mental health. In a much better mental state than I was.

Pycnostyle · 2021-01-27T16:35:09+00:00

It's good that you are reading and asking questions and learning all that you can about relationships. As you do this, I'd urge you to consider the full context and perspective of what you're reading. In other words, when you're reading Red Pill jargon like "the wall", try to put yourself into our shoes to get a more accurate idea of what we mean by that.

In this case, I'm sure I don't need to tell you that a large percentage of women in the 18-28 age range get more male attention than they could possibly handle. And a good percentage of those women interpret that deluge of attention as a reflection of just how truly awesome they must be, and unfortunately, a percentage of women become egotistical as a result. Being egotistical isn't generally attractive, but they can get away with it because, you know, the male attention tsunami.

Doubly unfortunate is that the ego can carry over past age 30 when that previously-never ending well of attention starts to dry down to reasonable levels. And then the ego can morph into anger. And I mean, feel what you feel, but let's not kid ourselves, when men list the qualities we really seek out in women, "angry all the time" usually doesn't make the cut. When Red Pill men talk about "post-wall women", that's what it means to me, anyway. Women who have gone from egotistical to angry (and angry specifically at men!), and hopefully I don't need to explain why we want no part in that bargain.

If you want to know how to avoid the wall, you're getting a lot of good advice on the physical side of things (eat healthy, exercise, good skincare, basically just make good long-term health choices), but I want to add that attitude is key. If you also cultivate the feminine traits that men have valued throughout the ages, like grace, kindness, nurturing, etc., you will never have to worry about any walls.

WestAtmosphere · 2021-01-27T23:05:08+00:00

Your life’s worth isn’t based on men’s objectification of you. You are a person outside of all of this. And tbh finding a man isn’t going to immediately wipe away this doubt. You could be past the age of 30 and had gotten married in your 20s and still have your man dump and cheat on you with someone below 30.

The point is how you handle yourself in the darkest of times. Life is unpredictable with no guarantees.

Also, the mgtower’s are already rejoicing with this post on their subreddit. No matter what there will always be men who behave like this. Doesn’t matter if you are 18 or 50.

coffee_lover_777 · 2021-01-27T14:48:41+00:00

Please don't think about "The Wall". This is a stupid concept. Because people live way past 30 and there is meaning to life beyond that. You will still be beautiful.

I will tell you from experience that between 30 an 40 were the best years of my life, physically.

At 30, I was way better looking than when I was 18. At 18, you are actually still growing and maturing. I was in the BEST shape at 30. I was more established in my life which meant I had more money for clothes, makeup, getting my hair done.

I had way more fashion sense and confidence as well.

My advice to you: Figure out what you want in life. Where do you want to be at 30? Establish a healthy routine with your exercise and eating habits. Skin care is important. But over that, do you want to go to college? Do you have a career you think that would fulfill you? Do you want to be married with children? Do you want to live on an animal sanctuary and save dogs?

Try to make good friendships and be a good friend. Volunteer if you can to give yourself a purpose and feel good about yourself for your acts as well.

Edit: Don't think about The Wall. At thirty, you will probably not look much different than you do now. But you will probably have better hair. :)

stayPositive890 · 2021-01-27T09:09:42+00:00

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LoFiGai · 2021-01-27T14:19:15+00:00

Men face the wall until their 30s, then things get better if you stay on point with diet, exercise, and mental health. For women your looks will go down, thats true. The "wall" isn't objectification, it represents that women who hit the wall can't just use their looks, they have to use character and provide value through other ways. The wall is a point of realization. If you are a good person, with good values and takes care of herself, you won't ever hit the wall.

Mewster1818 · 2021-01-27T14:04:53+00:00

The real "Wall" is different for everyone, it's certainly not like the moment you turn 30 it sets in.

But at a certain point as people get older they do become less sexually attractive because of aging, for women this is a bit earlier because a lot of our sexual market value is tied to our child bearing years. That in mind, a lot of women have children in their 30s and have no issues getting married. I definitely think there's more pressure though for women who want to find a mate and settle down to do so quickly though as by the end of our 30s fertility will be affected.

Gerealtor · 2021-01-27T14:59:42+00:00

Honestly, I don't put too much weight on the wall in that respect. In my mind, I don't work or socialise in the entertainment industry, nor with people that are rich in any way so my dating prospects would be your average man. Average looks, average income, average dating pool of women. And I'm not saying that in a settling kind of way, I'm just saying that the average good guy who lives in your area, works a 9-5 and walks his dog and likes a good horror movie will not be bombarded with, nor will he be constantly be concerned with, the youngest hottest women he can find. He's looking at his general age range, he's happy with a fit, feminine woman who takes care of herself and makes him happy/vice versa. When you're 22, you should compare yourself to other 22 year olds. When you're 32, other 32 year olds. Etc. The men who won't be dating your age pool will not be your problem. There are plenty of good men to go around. So unless you're vying for the kind of man who can realistically date women 10+ years younger than him, you won't have a problem. Just be hot comparably to your age group. That's all you need imo

RRBeachFG2 · 2021-01-27T19:03:43+00:00

You have 12 years, if you spend this time wisely by the time it does arrive you will think back to these fears as silly worries.

KVEMMCG · 2021-01-27T19:13:55+00:00

M27 here, I hope it is ok to comment here... Anyway I would just like to add my experience, I dated a 57 yo woman and this has been one of the best experiences in my life regarding dating. She was a pro in the IT field, fit, liked to read a lot and simply was really mature and physically in better shape than me. So from my perspective this wall can be pushed.

linkofinsanity19 · 2021-01-27T14:59:00+00:00

Take care of your looks as best you can by not smoking or drinking excessively, and learning how to eat and train properly. Notice here I said learn, because the fitness markets are saturated with fads and BS. Renaissance Periodization is a good resource for that info. If you can do those things above then that should keep your looks above most young women these days and especially above those same women when they hit their wall.

Also, bring more to the table than just your looks. Make sure to build relationship value. IF you do these things, then add in the fact that if you can get settled down with a solid guy before then, you'll benefit from a phenomenon most guys get called "wife goggles". This is where he tends to see the woman he's in a LTR with as the way she was when he first met her. There is a limit to this where deviating too far too quickly will snap those goggles off, either in the looks by not taking care of yourself, or in the relationship value by slipping up in that area.

tl;dr Increase your RV and take care of your body and as long as you keep working on these things, the wife goggles will do the rest of the work.

Edit: I'm seeing a lot of "My 30s are better than my 20s, so yours will be too." This is misleading. 30s will only be better than 20s if the 20s are wasted. Lots of successful men will prefer a 23 y.o. with a healthy lifestyle and high RV than a 33 y.o. with the same description because she has a higher peak and more years left with these same qualities.

The wall was originally a sports term to describe the phenomenon of athletes' bodies beginning to slow down quickly and they can no longer compete with younger people who are ALSO training. That's the difference here. If this girl wants to maximize her potential, she will be better off trying to get a man before 30 and taking care of herself now, rather than try to continue competing with younger women than her later on in life.

clitorophagy · 2021-01-27T16:17:24+00:00

It’s a myth. You can be a high value babe when you’re elderly. Don’t wait in life, but don’t count on being desperate and lonely either. Be the best most fit and feminine version of yourself and you can sustain your peak indefinitely. Not everyone will put the effort in to do this so you will rise in relative value over time

golden_eyed_cat · 2021-01-27T10:23:54+00:00

Take good care of your appearance! Exercise, eat well, develop a beauty routine... Don't wear excessive amounts of makeup, smoke or drink too much. Try to be relaxed, cheerful and avoid stress, since it might make you age faster.

Obviously, women were made to be the most physically attractive when they are about 15-25 years old, however, the wall can easily be delayed with enough self-care, and instead of "hitting" it, you will ease into it without suddenly losing all of your beauty (in fact, some women look better in their 30's than they did in their 20's!). Also, when securing a long-term partner, relationship market value (what you bring to the table as a wife) is more important than your looks. Several men would happily sleep with young women due to their high SMV, but prefer to marry a 25-29 year old because she is more mature, financially stable, and is ready for marriage.

moneygang4life · 2021-01-27T14:20:16+00:00

Try to secure a good man and marry him As young as possible

KT_Hyuga · 2021-01-27T19:58:44+00:00

What's to reconcile? Its science. Women are supposed to look amazing when young, in order to find a mate, and procreate. So do just that. Find a good guy sooner than later, and make a family. Or end up old, alone, and ugly.

etucker546 · 2021-01-31T19:30:30+00:00

Hopefully you find a blue pilled man. Some “advice” on here is trying to ease your concerns by telling you “hey he will age also so you guys SMV will be so low you a both be stuck with each other.” Smh Look at actor Robert Perlman who divorced his wife of 39 years for a hot 20ish young girl. Women are attracted to men for tings other then looks. He needs to be a blue pilled man so he can have oneitis for you.

Dodo_Avenger · 2021-01-28T05:00:20+00:00

If a guy already loves you he's not going to divorce you and get with a younger girl just because you turned 30, that makes no sense. It's just going to be really really hard if you're 30, single, and still looking for mr perfect. A lot of these other posts are misleading.

money-_-sun · 2021-01-27T15:13:13+00:00

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IcarusKiki · 2021-01-27T22:53:31+00:00

Just know it happens to everyone: even men. Most men get old and paunchy too but you of course have a shorter fertility window. Just go at you own pace and don’t rush into a marriage until you’re mature enough to handle it. Better to be happily married at 27 then married at 20 and divorced at 25. Also stay healthy and active, keep on top of sunscreen and your diet and it won’t hit so hard or so soon. Also, divorce yourself from the idea that your worth is just your looks. A lot of women are happier at 30 settled down and with a family then they were in their “prime” 20s.

archies786 · 2021-01-28T10:44:58+00:00

You’re not going to hit the wall, just take care of yourself and you’ll be fine. It’s about diet and exercise, in the west we have very bad diets it’s a very bad exercise.

Head-Language-2977 · 2021-01-29T04:37:21+00:00

40M giving a male perspective.

All of our looks fade with time, but like other posters said, if you exercise semi-regularly and have a half-decent diet, you’ll age well and will still be physically attractive well past 30.

The real reason so many people (men and women) hit the wall so young is NOT because they get old. They hit the wall so young because they don’t take care of themselves. We all have a lot of control of that wall and you can push it out as far into your future as your willing to put in the effort.

PS. Take care of your skin as well. Minimize tanning and smoking.

aussiedollface2 · 2021-01-29T20:57:44+00:00

I’m horrified that an 18yo is stressed about this. At this age you should be making friends, working on your studies or career, and focusing on yourself. Of course there is a time when your appearance or desirability will decrease but it’s very much in the future. Focus on yourself, find out who you are, surround yourself with good female friends. Only date men who you could see yourself marrying and whom are committed to you. xo

Throwawayyy97555 · 2021-01-30T10:57:29+00:00

Yes, I do feel you on this one, I am 23 turning 24 this summer and according to the SMV, it will only go down from here. BUT I think a lot of it has to do with how you treat your body, mind, and spirit. Make sure to make healthier food choices, move your body, read, and relax (not being too stressed) take collagen supplements as well which will help your skin, hair and nails.

Genetics also has a big weight in this. But most importantly work on yourself, as in inner self because that is the true importance!

ColleenMew · 2021-02-01T19:57:13+00:00

I’m 28 and I’ve seen so many girls younger than me that look like garbage. They take drugs, drink, sleep around, are overweight. The wall affects all ages. The wall is about personality too. No one wants a nasty person, no matter how young and good looking they are.

PMmeyourPibble · 2021-02-07T01:06:24+00:00

I'm 37f and I was a late bloomer in the looks department (puberty was terribly humbling). Don't worry about the wall. I feel like I'm finally in the most comfortable skin I've ever lived in right now. I'm finally confident and have high self-esteem, which helps me feel really attractive. Life is so short. Take some time to develop a skill you've always wanted to learn and reap the self-esteem boost. Focus on you and your health first and foremost.

Also, wear sunscreen every day!

Entropy212 · 2021-02-10T05:19:39+00:00

Don't be on this Reddit. I find both sides of Red Blue as obsessed with the superficial. I'm basically lurking here with my confirmation bias realizing I want nothing to do with any of these people LOL.... Love yourself. Improve yourself. Improve the world. Be a good sister, mother, wife, friend, whatever. Hold out for someone authentic and kind. That is my advice.

MuseofPetrichor · 2021-03-12T22:16:46+00:00

Start a good skin regimen. Exercise. Eat and sleep good and stay hydrated. Do those things and don't forget your spf and you shouldn't see a big difference in your appearance between your 20s and 30.

Title	Tips on not feeling bad about “hitting the wall”
Author	annabeelongx
Upvotes	84
Comments	115
Date	January 27, 2021 7:36 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/l5z8fq/tips_on_not_feeling_bad_about_hitting_the_wall/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/tips-on-not-feeling-bad-about-hitting-the-wall.1193209 https://theredarchive.com/post/1193209

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