10 things I've learned after being with over 100 women as a shy dude

ThRowAwAyBCimshame · 2022-06-22T17:50:06+00:00

I’m not sure I understand no.7

cchooper1 · 2022-06-22T18:22:33+00:00

Having male friends will dramatically increase your success rate with casual and serious relationships with girls. This one is huge.

This one is huge. Indeed, I would say that having a best friend into your 20's is one of the most important things in life as a guy. It teaches (and demonstrates to female onlookers) a man how to put someone else's happiness above their own. Women are (mostly) naturals at this, but men must learn it through experience.

Don't lie ~~about your wealth~~ to get women. They will see right through it.

Fixed.

DestinyChitChat · 2022-06-22T16:40:29+00:00

Great post. There's always a balance to be struck between trying too hard and not trying hard enough. I think this post is well balanced.

Dickbag4206969 · 2022-06-22T17:20:20+00:00

Good post have my upvote ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ

hausofedd · 2022-06-22T17:53:53+00:00

Good stuff

Love #1

I would just say a person isn't alpha or beta. An activity is alpha or beta... You need both behaviors for a happy life.

Zyrocks · 2022-06-22T18:06:47+00:00

Having male friends will dramatically increase your success rate with casual and serious relationships with girls. This one is huge.

Fuck. I've yet to find male friends I actually like hanging out with. There's one but he's 3000 kilometers away.

unambiguous_script · 2022-06-22T18:26:20+00:00

I agree with all but 9 - Ghosting is shitty. It's literally a way to alleviate yourself of any emotional responsibility in the interaction. Whether girl or guy, ghosting is shitty, but I will agree that you shouldn't worry about it if it happens. Just accept it and move on, but I won't pretend like it's okay.

People can choose who they want, yes, but that doesn't equate to inconsiderations being okay.

"I did it to save the other's feelings" - That's a load of crap. People do it to save THEIR feelings.

1sa712 · 2022-06-22T18:49:24+00:00

Y'all be lying a lot lol

cobraCL · 2022-06-22T17:51:34+00:00

Great post!

Mog_Melm · 2022-06-22T18:49:46+00:00

You talk a lot of sense. Question for ya...

Having male friends will dramatically increase your success rate with casual and serious relationships with girls. This one is huge.

What specific, actionable steps can we take to make friends? Right now, I don't have anyone I visit on a weekly basis, anyone who I can rely on to take an interest in my daily life, or anyone I routinely meet up with at social events. (I don't routinely attend social events.) I know this is a huge problem, and I know this may be a huge problem throughout society. My question remains: What do you recommend?

7121958041201 · 2022-06-22T19:36:27+00:00

Stop blaming women for ghosting. You will get ghosted 100000% of the time. Women have the right to choose who they want. It's not their fault or yours.

I'm not sure you understand what ghosting is. Ghosting means not responding to someone out of the blue, not just deciding to not see someone again. Anyone with even a small amount of character will send a quick "I had a great time but I'm not interested" text before they stop responding.

Not that I waste my time thinking about people who have ghosted me, but I certainly think less of them for it.

Mostly good tips though!

Iganno · 2022-06-22T18:19:04+00:00

SHOUT IT OUT FOR THOSE IN THE BACK!!!

Seriously though this is some great advice though, appreciate you taking some time to post it. 🤘🏻

grindforthegold · 2022-06-22T18:32:03+00:00

Is there any one place that you’ve met the most women at? I do this too, i feel working events can work really well on the side

Sandvicheater · 2022-06-22T19:24:13+00:00

For #6: Meeting women at work is a very risky. Its 100x easier to find new women then it is to find a new job because things went south with a girl co-worker you were dating.

SkatingOnThinIce · 2022-06-22T19:28:02+00:00

6? Are you in the USA? You get chewed up around here for dating at work.

VaxMachina228 · 2022-06-22T18:38:15+00:00

Why sleep around so much thou??

SadBox4529 · 2022-06-22T19:11:20+00:00

Number 5…….oh lord….I wish this could be stapled on every redpillers head. They constantly brug about cutting women off when it’s to their detriment.

CowgirlBebop575 · 2022-06-22T19:17:21+00:00

Nothing but amazing advice. 10 out of 10.

Kennymacdougall · 2022-06-22T20:18:45+00:00

Having male friends will dramatically increase your success rate with casual and serious relationships with girls. This one is huge.

Could you elaborate on this?

videogames_ · 2022-06-22T21:01:31+00:00

1, 4, 5, and 9 are all similar. If she wants you it’ll be pretty easy. If she ghosts or flakes on you, you can double text one time to see if something has changed on her end. If she doesn’t reply after a double text one time or has become distant the answer 99.9% of the time is move on.

the_manofsteel · 2022-06-22T22:58:49+00:00

If women ghost you 100000% of the time how do u end up with any?

big_dong_de_jong · 2022-06-22T23:05:04+00:00

Danke

pample_meese · 2022-06-22T23:10:33+00:00

Dang. I came here reading the title thinking this was going to be loaded with BS advice. But this is actually legit.

Overall, this seems to be in the tune of: be yourself. Lean into who you are. Lean into self improvement and betterment. Also be respectful. And don’t have underlying expectations- respect the lady’s decision.

Tactical_INTJ · 2022-06-22T18:38:11+00:00

Focus on your career and you will find that talking/seducing others will come more naturally.

I strongly disagree with you here. 'Focus on your career' is a general self help advice but a great dating advice? Not so much.

First of all, not everybody has a "career" that's a myth. Very few actually have a career.

And it's debatable whether you really want a career or not.

Let me say this straight, to have a stable career means to be in the top 15% of your field and that requires shit ton of time. And by the time you're valuable enough to have a career you're almost 30.

Yeah, being "something" gives you confident but social skills that gets you laid (to be blunt)? That's a totally different scenario.

I'm not in the top 15% of my field but I'm good and have spent my fair share of time with women and the seduction community. And truth be told, 90% dudes who care about having great career are so focused on it that they don't have time to approach women and get laid.

The only case where your "career" will help you consistently get laid and attract beautiful women is if you're a rich businessman, consultant or something extrovertish high status person.

It's very hard to attract woman when you're a theoretical physicist or an AI researcher focused on creating a sentient AI.

The reality is you wanna be valuable enough to not be miserable and actually have a life.

And for the record your advices are pretty mediocre. But great body count tho 😍😍😍 I'm sure that actually happened.

TheSummerViking · 2022-06-22T20:20:55+00:00

As an attractive man who drowns in attention, I laughed at 9.

You absolutely should be holding people accountable for their own shitty behavior. Letting women be bad people so you can have sex with them reeks of incel energy to me.

Be a man.

TheNextBigCrash · 2022-06-22T20:45:08+00:00

Don’t really agree with point 9.

Ghosting is a shitty and immature thing to do whether you’re a man or woman. It shows a clear lack of respect for the other person and is honestly a great way of weeding out socially inept/incompatible people.

I make a point of NEVER ghosting anyone. If I don’t want to see someone anymore I’m very clear and direct with them, it gives them closure and takes out all the hours/days of “will they text me back? What did I do wrong?”.

Bottom line. Don’t normalise ghosting, it’s a dick move whoever you are. We are all human beings and we all deserve a bit of honesty and respect.

Jaa1981 · 2022-06-22T21:52:45+00:00

4 is gospel

Tozester · 2022-06-22T18:34:39+00:00

You mean if she's dominant in relationship or what? I don't understand

Be_useless · 2022-06-22T23:23:54+00:00

Good luck with the herpes

themidwestcowboy · 2022-06-23T07:23:02+00:00

OP deleted post. Can someone re-share what he posted?

year2039nuclearwar · 2022-06-23T09:30:43+00:00

OP deleted post, need guidance pls send INSTRUCTIONS!!!

OBucetas · 2022-06-23T09:40:22+00:00

well op deleted his post

cronasminate · 2022-06-22T17:42:09+00:00

then trying to be alpha when you aren't.

Lmao make sure you are actually alpha before you try to be alpha. Do that shit around the wrong people and you'll realize quickly you are someone's beta bitch.

joester2346 · 2022-06-22T18:49:43+00:00

Solid advice 👍

dobbs1997 · 2022-06-22T18:55:02+00:00

How will focusing on your career improve your talking and seduction skills ?

deznue · 2022-06-22T19:12:15+00:00

Holy shit! Like you fucked 100 women?

ShortStuffV2 · 2022-06-22T19:51:14+00:00

Focus on your career and you will find that talking/seducing others will come more naturally.

If you're in sales, maybe, unless you happen to know women who get weak at the knees when you drone on and on about optimizing SQL queries

scarfox1 · 2022-06-22T19:54:27+00:00

Women have right to Choose who they want is mutually exclusive to ghosting. You can choose who you want but not be inhumane about it.

indigoshawty · 2022-06-22T19:58:45+00:00

As a girl I appreciate you for number 9.

larsson22 · 2022-06-22T20:00:22+00:00

These tips seem cool, but I'm not sure about number 2.

If I'm a shy guy (which I am) and remain loyal to that trait, won't that make me potentially miss out on approaches?

Dimension-Hopper · 2022-06-22T20:11:19+00:00

Idk about the work thing. I tend to keep people I work with off limits due to it being awkward in the work place if things don’t go as planned

greenlight144000 · 2022-06-22T20:44:09+00:00

What do you mean by play off being shy?

MsT1075 · 2022-06-22T21:07:22+00:00

100 - as in went on a date? Or, as in slept/had sex with? Just want to know the full range of where the knowledge is coming from.

Cormagnon · 2022-06-22T21:15:03+00:00

Wait texting twice is a bad thing? What the f...

LostFYI · 2022-06-22T21:22:44+00:00

I've got these to add:

Don't chase chicks, they will start running the opposite direction
Make decisions and stand by them, sent a risky text? Don't overthink it or try to play it down afterwards, stick to your opinion, what you said is what you meant
If there is a opportunity, take action - nothing will come flying at you without action

notarealpersondw · 2022-06-22T21:39:16+00:00

What type of extra curricular activities do you mean? All of mine are like rugby and mma so they’re my passions but I don’t meet many girls lol

RashaudDawkins · 2022-06-22T21:46:54+00:00

Damn i reached 100 by college .. but you right about all these fam .. apply pressure because you want to and the result will be your own

sportsdude523 · 2022-06-22T22:00:06+00:00

what's the reason for number 7?

what's your thoughts on number 3? why do you feel that way? i have this imge in my head all girls want alphas who have a lot of friends and is popular with a great job and can be badass, etc. This thought in my head probably deters me because I somewhat fear i may not be enough in those qulaities. Tbh, i grew up with too many asshole going nowhere types so i dont really have a friend group now and it makes me feel embarrassed when dating girls that not having a friend group is part of my life ( i have individual friends from different groups, but not a friend group).

number 5 i have notn ecessarily experienced it, but i have experineced the spirit of it. there was a girl who was pretty hoshort in her text messages. and it acme off to me as her being not that interested. but we met, she likes me a lot, could be my gf if a few things aligned, and we hook up from time to time nad text and check in in a friendly supportive way from time tot ime.

Kitchen_Entertainer9 · 2022-06-22T22:07:08+00:00

Hey this is a great list, but I feel it's missing a few things, i mean the internet exists, and the cold approach.

passengerpigeon20 · 2022-06-22T22:58:45+00:00

But what is your height and face like and what country do you live in? I feel like you are very attractive in spite of being shy.

cheesybitzz · 2022-06-22T23:00:18+00:00

having male friends

Be me while holding up finger puppets

The gang's all here...

pacg · 2022-06-22T23:17:00+00:00

RE #10.

One time I rolled in late to a bar to meet some friends. I was in school so I was paying for everything in spare change and lint. Server asks what I want to drink, I look at her dead in the eye and say “I’m broke. Gimmie the cheapest red wine you’ve got.” The server laughed.

vin9889 · 2022-06-22T23:24:39+00:00

Why it deleted post

FutureBannedAccount2 · 2022-06-22T23:38:26+00:00

I disagree with a couple of these and questions some:

Don't try and figure out what she wants. Figure out what you want and make it clear. Kind of like your making a business offer. Then she will gladly tell you what she wants.

This should be natural and a mutual thing. You should get to know each other and be on the same page because it’s way too easy for a woman (or man) to want something different but simply agree to whatever it is you want out of loneliness or whatever. If you completely ignore that the person wants a relationship just because they say they want a fwb it’s gonna be a bad time.

If you are shy then play off of it. It's way easier to make jokes around your personality then trying to be alpha when you aren't.

What does this mean? A shy person likely has a hard time talking in the first place so simply saying “make jokes around your personality” doesn’t really add anything. It kind just sounds like “be yourself”

DO NOT waste your time with a girl that leads you on. It never ends well. Never

At the same time don't feel ashamed to send a double text/ follow up if she's distant. It sometimes works (1% of time--if you know you know)

These 2 statement seem contradictory. Dont let someone lead you on but at the same time don’t feel afraid to double text and follow up. I think I get what you’re getting at here but if this post is meant to be directed at inexperienced people you’d have to be more detailed.

Having male friends will dramatically increase your success rate with casual and serious relationships with girls. This one is huge.

why? I don’t get how male friends correlate to more relationships.

Focus on your career and you will find that talking/seducing others will come more naturally.

Not necessarily. Careers and personal relationships are often 2 different areas of life that compete with each other. I know highly successful people that have the social skills of a stone. If you want to improve an area of your life, you have to work that area.

Stop blaming women for ghosting. You will get ghosted 100000% of the time. Women have the right to choose who they want. It's not their fault or yours.

There’s a difference between choosing who you want and ghosting someone. This shouldn’t be normalized at all because all it perpetuates the idea that it’s ok to treat someone with disrespect simply because you’re not interested in them. I think better advice would be to understand ghosting happens and it’s ok to get frustrated by it, but to also realize it’s a dick move and doesn’t represent you as a person (most times).

So overall I think the ideas you have aren’t necessarily ground breaking and doesn’t take being with 100 women to figure out. I’m guessing this is directed towards people who are just wanting to start improving their social skills and relationships so I would say a lot of these need to be more fleshed out

Illmakeausernamelate · 2022-06-23T04:22:46+00:00

Why is this deleted?

10 things I've learned after being with over 100 women as a shy dude

Comments

8 ties into that a bit too

6? Are you in the USA? You get chewed up around here for dating at work.

4 is gospel

Title	10 things I've learned after being with over 100 women as a shy dude
Author	OpinionsRstupid
Upvotes	466
Comments	199
Date	June 22, 2022 4:36 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vi9e0o/10_things_ive_learned_after_being_with_over_100/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/10-things-ive-learned-after-being-with-over-100.1256358 https://theredarchive.com/post/1256358