Cold Approach

Isaac96969696 · 2021-05-22T20:07:37+00:00

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dasanman69 · 2021-05-22T20:01:39+00:00

You don't realize it but you're gradually learning. Your subconscious mind is figuring it all out for you, and one day, just like riding a bike, you'll take a big ol step and surprise yourself.

maddisser101 · 2021-05-22T20:17:44+00:00

Gotta go through different environments as well. It is a numbers game. Approach a 100 women and MAYBE 5 will like you. 1/5 of those will likely have sex with you. There is a reason major league hitters barely bat .300 and that is considered superior to most. You are not always going to get a hit but need to get out there and swing.

2021-05-22T21:47:10+00:00

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Otherwise-Persimmon5 · 2021-05-22T20:38:21+00:00

Game isn’t as linear as cold approaching tons and hope everything improves. There are various ways to improve different aspect of your game.

Is your fitness and fashions on point? Do you have a 6 packs and looks sharp in your clothing? Do you have a social circle of cool people to go out and shoot the shit with? Social circle builds social EQ.

Finally, keep track of everything you do during set. Try to see what you are doing wrong and what else you can improve.

burncushlikewood · 2021-05-22T23:20:37+00:00

Dude so awesome to get out there and approach, trust it's a lot better than online game. The problem that 99% of guys have is they just don't know how to talk to women, that's the key, building comfort and trying to progress into a meetup of some sort. Work on your conversational skills and escalating you'll get a positive interaction if you just keep at it, learning to speak is the most important part. Just ask questions and be patient, make some jokes, be confident and comfortable and learn to make conversation. Reading game books will help you get better results. Good luck !

monalayysa · 2021-05-22T23:02:46+00:00

I’m a girl, and if you approached me in the mall I would appreciate that you compliment me to get my attention. But do not ask if I ‘want to chat’ afterwards 😅 I’m there to shop. But if you asked 1-2 following questions like where are you from? Going to school? Etc. Then be like ‘well I don’t want to bother you but I was hoping maybe to get your number so we can talk more?’ At that point, you have been polite and not creepy so it’s up to the girls at this point.

I’ve had luck with dating apps, but again....I swiped on hundreds of guys and only ended up meeting one 🤷🏻‍♀️ it just takes time and meeting lots of people. Don’t give up!

Aghayden · 2021-05-23T00:55:55+00:00

It's great that you're taking so much action. If you keep that up you can get amazing results.

However, if you're getting no results with that many approaches you're definitely making some kind of fundamental mistake.

Most likely, you're doing something that makes the girls you approach feel too pressured and they're getting uncomfortable.

For example: - you're approaching from behind and shocking the girls. - you're getting too close into their personal space right away. - you're trying to hard stop girls when they're in a hurry or with friends (too much pressure usually). - when you walk with girls, you walk somewhat behind them which makes them feel like they're being followed. - You're not making nearly enough eye contact and that makes them feel something is 'off'. - You're asking too many questions back to back to where it feels like you're interrogating them.

I've worked with a lot of guys and even ones who aren't remotely good-looking or even very charming can get numbers pretty consistently.

If you're not able to get a number from roughly one out of four approaches then you're making at least one big mistake repeatedly. Fortunately, once you fix it your results can turn around fast.

I highly recommend recording the audio of some of your approaches and sharing them here for feedback. It'll be pretty obvious what's happening if you do that.

You can record the audio by just holding your phone with the speakers facing upward and using a voice recorder app (voice memo on iPhone for example).

gypsycatcherr · 2021-05-22T21:38:16+00:00

The harsh reality is that around 65% are no girls, a rare 5% are yes girls. The remaining 30% are maybe girls and this is where the rubber meets the road - you have to be able to convert these to yes.

I hope you have a plan and not just freestyle. That is like a beginner pilot was to freestyle when first flying a plane. There are plenty to find online. One of the best ones is London daygame model.

imsexc · 2021-05-22T22:12:09+00:00

You have more balls than me. I didn't cold approach. Too scared I admit. If I may suggest, you might have better success by being more straight and direct with your intent. Something like:

U: Hi! (Or Excuse Me! -voice should be clear and loud to gain her attention) Her: Hi! (Or Yes?) U: I think you're cute! Her: Thanks! U: We should hang out sometimes! Can I get your number real quick? (While giving your phone for her to punch) While she's punching her number, you can chat a bit, like where should we go? Or do you like coffee? Boba?

Being straight and direct and quick will give them more comfort. Without it they'll wonder, are you a sales guy? Jehova witness? Or some random creepy guy whatever?

Beside, your approach, the asking questions felt like you're asking for approval, that felt Beta. Show your intent, be direct (shows Alpha traits) if she said no, just say ok, have a nice day!

Check out Steve Schapiro's youtube or IG channel: Daily Dropout for some inspos.

It's a number game dude. You rock!

Shroommelier · 2021-05-23T01:36:42+00:00

I use a pretty simple one and I find it fairly effective. Granted I usually only try it if I catch a girl looking at me or get a smile. I just say Hi! You're cute! I'm in a rush right now but i would love to meet you. Can I have your number?. Another one that I find fairly effective if I catch them looking - I'll just say playfully Hi! Would you like a new friend? They usually laugh and say yes, sure or something like maybe but hardly say no. From there you can ask for the number or a coffee or whatever

FaithInStrangers94 · 2021-05-23T02:12:58+00:00

Try going less direct and more conversational, maybe try to catch a girl near the pet store or near the cinema or something so you have a common thread to talk to her about rather than “hey you’re cute let’s talk” “ok” “so... what are you up to today?” “Shopping” “I see... shopping for love?” “No”

Cold approaches where you have no common ground between just seeing them walking past you and being a heterosexual member of the other are always going to be hard

But that takes courage to do what you’re doing so well done

M-DA-HAWK · 2021-05-23T02:41:03+00:00

Cold approach is more about getting over that anxiety and nervousness. Also try to have fun and actual conversations. Rejection is a big part of it as well so try to improve your inner game, work on yourself etc. Keep crushing it brother!

2021-05-23T04:16:37+00:00

No success at all? Keep grinding. Cold approach is the best way to gain true confidence and to meet women that are really great

MustangCKima · 2021-05-23T05:30:56+00:00

Imagine playing a ranked online game, playing 5-10 games a day and not improving your rank..... Do you say whats the point?What should you do? You look at what you did wrong, you look at other players better thn you and you implement that into your playstyle, just like that stop doing the same thing and try to work it out

2021-05-23T06:29:51+00:00

Stop talking to girls focus on growing your confidence with people in general also when u get nervous don't run away stay in the nervousness

eablokker · 2021-05-23T08:43:41+00:00

The point is that majority of guys spend all of their time reading and learning techniques but never approaching because it is the hardest thing to do. Congrats, you can approach! Now you can learn some techniques and lines to add to your repertoire. You’ve conquered the hardest part already. The rest is a lot easier.

MILF4LYF · 2021-05-22T20:44:47+00:00

One day, you will start getting YESes and SUREs! Then you will realize what you have been building up to. It's a numbers game bro, but I would experiment with different approaches and try to improve my looks and see if that helps.

Liz_uk_217 · 2021-05-22T23:51:44+00:00

If someone did this to me in a mall/shopping centre, I would assume they were trying to get me to sign up for charity donations or something, not that they were actually interested in me. My head just isn’t in the right space to be approached by a random. I’d also be worried for my safety.

Isaac96969696 · 2021-05-22T21:05:05+00:00

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jackmeawf · 2021-05-22T20:35:43+00:00

What the hell who told you to do this? No way in hell would I ever say yes to a man walking around the mall alone asking me out, no matter how smooth a talker or good looking he was. I would feel unsafe. Talk to women like theyre normal fucking people in normal, mutual settings like a bar or some other social gathering. You dont just tally up how many good looking women you can ask out until one says yes. It's very apparent to them that you're doing this and very insincere.

whiplash81 · 2021-05-22T22:14:46+00:00

If you are looking to get practice at cold approach, it's best to start at bars/clubs. These places are considered the most difficult, but also give you the most opportunities. Get good at that, then approaching during the day won't feel nearly as nerve-wrecking.

blue-cosmos · 2021-05-22T21:07:55+00:00

Here’s some actual advice: go somewhere social like a bar lmao or an event of some sort that you’re actually interested in and approach women like you would a freaking friend. This is so creepy.

Weekly-Spare-8446 · 2021-05-22T23:01:30+00:00

Look, I’m going to be real with you. You’re just going up to random women at the mall? Women don’t want to be bothered at the mall by men, they’re not there for you. And where/how are you approaching these women, in women’s clothing stores? There are places and ways to meet women but this ain’t it bud.

07paradigm · 2021-05-22T21:18:29+00:00

You’ll be surprised. If you have game, women will want more of you. Besides the mall is mostly for getting numbers to set up later dates. Once in a while you can get dates on the spot. Like coffee or drinks. It’s creepy when the guy’s game sucks.

yaboimissesezlayups · 2021-05-23T00:30:12+00:00

Environment is everything. Go to places where people are expecting to make new connections like a bar or something, not the mall.

Gotthesunshine · 2021-05-23T01:30:47+00:00

Calm down!!

Let's all not forget that every day we are all bombarded with news of fucked up Karen's and guys abducting or raping women.

Are you kidding? This stuff is shoved in our face every single news cycle.

How about that for a reason for rejection...male or female??? You could be the nicest honest guy in the world and there is no way I'd give you my number or agree to chat.

Not because of YOU but bc of societal stimuli that teaches us we are f*cking crazy to give out our numbers or chat up someone we don't know.

Sorry if you think it's bent thinking but damn...just look and listen to the sh*t forced upon us every day...brutal.

dwiggs81 · 2021-05-23T04:09:14+00:00

Main question I have for you is, are YOU having fun? Or is it obvious that you are there specifically to pick up a woman? Because trust me, they can tell when you're being disingenuous like that. Honestly, most people can. Ever had a conversation with a time-share salesman? No matter how nice the guy is, it's obvious that he's trying to sell you something. And when you're in a social area like a mall, by yourself, just hanging out, it's plain to see that you're only there to try working game.

But if YOU are having fun, then that is the focus, and she will be more interested in connecting with you. Because people like to have fun, and if you are already having fun, she'll be more interested in what you're doing that's so fun in case it's something that she thinks is fun. Go to the like sciency-board game/puzzle shop in your mall, and just fuck around with something. Wait for them to come nearby you, then make an offhand comment about whatever it is you're messing with, then ask her opinion. Move on from there into an actual conversation, then maybe suggest getting coffee or whatever at the food court. Or whatever else you might think is fun. Guitar/music shop, bookstore, art supplies, fuck, whatever. Maybe not American Girl or Build-A-Bear, and the Lego store is iffy. But yeah. The point is that you are out, having a good time, and inviting her into your good time.

That'll also make the rejections sting less. Because women aren't computer games where you spend funny nice points to make sex fall out. Some may be with their own crew and just not have time or desire to make a new friend. And that's ok. But if you are having fun already, then it's her loss that she doesn't get to be doing whatever cool as fuck thing you're doing. And that's the attitude you should have. Guys that have the most success are the ones that are already having fun and invite others into their fun.

LonerStoner95 · 2021-05-23T07:06:09+00:00

Dont focus on cold approaching. I dont want to be discouraging, but your end up feeling more negative than positive, especially if you get a fake number. Work smarter, not harder.

Focus on yourself and what you could possibly do to be/look more attractive. Any women you meet I guarantee will have options, ALWAYS.

Your job is to better your odds, not beat the odds.

gowatchanimefgt · 2021-05-23T08:16:40+00:00

Bruh just hit em with a ‘sup’

Frossygg · 2021-05-23T09:05:30+00:00

Alright I want to offer real genuine advice so hear me out. What are you actually doing. Are you a bot bro? Talk to me I want to help someone out because this is ridiculous. I don’t use reddit often but I’ve seen so many people complain about love it hurts.

jintekzZ · 2021-05-23T09:39:28+00:00

Take a wingman with you who ist a bit more experienced than you and go Out with him to let analyze your Interactions and approaches. 5-10 is a big Number , you're doing great , Just stay at it. Don't know for how long you're doing cold approach, but if you're at starter who just began after a few Weeks/montags then don't gebt frustrated and be patient, for a few people it takes a lot of time.

Neil1398 · 2021-05-23T11:25:16+00:00

You’re toughening yourself up. You’re not supposed to see results initially. I’m 11 months in and at just starting to snowball. Just got 2 notches in 2 weekends from daygame. (This week and last week)

It took months of dry spells and rejections, mental breakdowns, frustrations, contemplating quitting. It was pain but now I’m starting to reap the rewards. I had dates and insta dates, makeouts and shit so all that kept me going during the 11 months.

But as a straight up beginner I feel like you shouldn’t question it till your like a year in. You’re brain and mind has to adjust to your new hobby. Just like anything it takes practice.

No_unity_2020 · 2021-05-23T13:49:21+00:00

I always find it startling when they look at me with big weepy eyes and say. " If, you let me go, I wont tell"...
Tell what?
Im not a serial killer, or rapist... I had no intention of hurting... I guess, I just scare people.

Reefermadness123 · 2021-05-23T15:25:41+00:00

You’re asking out woman you don’t know.. that’s the problem. Get to know/become acquainted with them first. Would you want to date a woman who you just thought was cute at first but she later turned out to be someone you had no true connection with?

recyclablebanthas · 2021-05-24T06:38:03+00:00

1

I literally dont understand the point of this. I'm going to the mall day after day approaching 5 to 10 women a day and getting literally nowhere. What is supposed to he happening?

There is more than one way to skin a cat. For some guys, cold approach can work just fine, even great.

But the fight or flight response that often kicks in during this kind of social interaction, can make it really difficult to actually learn social skills by doing this, especially if you didn't have strong social skills before you started.

Often what happens is that guys end up repeating their patterns over and over again in the heat of battle, so to speak. You can approve under these conditions, but it's an uphill battle and there are other ways to go about this. (Or to supplement cold approach if you want to have a more varied approach.)

2

My social skills arent improving. It's either a hard "NO" or a variation of no such as "I have a bf" I cant even get to the point of conversation.

If you're getting these kinds of responses, then something is going really wrong with everything from the opening, and possibly from when you're even walking up, before your mouth opens.

This is exactly where the standard advice of telling guys to keep cold approaching, falls flat.

Practice does not make perfect in some cases. In cases where you don't already have enough of the fundamentals down, practice makes bad habits.

3

Any advice is welcome.

A couple things in no particular order:

Cold approach isn't confined to you psyching yourself up and walking over to 50 girls in a mall. We are talking about starting a conversation with someone you've never met before, which can happen almost anywhere. In the line at the bank or grocery store, etc.
Besides cold approach, it's fully valid to go join a regularly meeting social group or regular event. Things like social partner dancing communities like salsa, Lindy hop, West Coast swing, etc. There are groups organized around various kinds of interests which post their events publicly for people to see on social media platforms like Facebook. There's nothing stopping you from searching up such events and joining them if they are open to the public.
Such events can be great places to practice building your social skills because something about having a mixed group can make things easier. If you are feeling a little off, just talk to some dudes. And if you want to chat up a girl, you have a lot of things to talk about, starting with the common ground you have of both being at that particular event. Low hanging fruit is there for a reason, grab it. You can easily build your confidence at these kinds of events and use that moving forward into cold approaches.

4

Something that's often overlooked is the importance of building up your sense of calibration. Social interactions are a two-way street. We are often focused on finding the confidence to initiate, but it is nothing without the ability to pay attention and tune into what the other person is saying and doing in response to you.

An old school coach named David Wygant presented a decent exercise for this. following his suggestions can lead you to practice how to observe a situation so that you can come up with things to say or open a conversation with.
He has another exercise that you can pair with this, involving observation of a movie or TV show. Really easy way to practice your observation skills.

va9393 · 2021-05-28T22:49:40+00:00

Idc what anyone says cold approaching works. Just feel like vibe when ur interacting, i cold approached women and had instant coffee dates with them them. Ull get alot Or rejections but keep going

MetaphysicalDominant · 2021-05-22T21:38:57+00:00

That sounds like an insane, low self-esteem idea if you’re looking for a woman good for you to date. It’s good that you have the courage to do that and that will be of help to you, but you’d be better off for finding a woman to date by picking more selectively.

Isaac96969696 · 2021-05-22T23:31:34+00:00

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Riversflushwfishes · 2021-05-22T23:49:37+00:00

This completely creeps me out. It’s like a female is some score, not a real person.

bitesizericewheels · 2021-05-23T02:13:33+00:00

Theyre just trying to shop leave them alone thats creepy 😂

roryismysuperhero · 2021-05-23T14:01:31+00:00

Um maybe try getting a hobby and meeting women through that? Or meet women at a bar or church? Basically I think you’ll have more success if you’ve meet the woman a few times before asking for her number. That way she knows you a bit and feels more comfortable.

dobbs1997 · 2021-05-23T00:06:15+00:00

Yo I see All these negative comments on this post labeling this as creepy and what not ..but here’s the truth, what you’re doing is completely fine, as a matter of fact it’s what you should be doing, today’s world finds this unusual because it’s not the norm for strangers to talk to each other cause everyone’s so consumed with their phones and the online world ..go on a public train/bus and you’ll see what I mean, shit’s so quiet you can hear a fucking pin drop. Dude, don’t listen to these haters, stay on this path and you’ll improve over time, have fun with it, approach these women with respect of course and if they say no either with words or their body language then take that with grace and move on. Who gives a fuck if you get a bunch of no’s, that’s life..not everyone is gonna wanna talk to you but shit are you supposed to just stop cause of that? If you do then you’re not gonna meet the ones who DO actually wanna talk to you & who’d love to get to know you. This “cold approach” stuff is literally just human interaction, something we’re supposed to be doing anyway. We as humans see people everyday that we’d love to talk to but most people don’t cause they’re scared, but nothing’s stopping you from simply saying hello. Certain women on here are telling you it’s creepy to simply have a conversation with someone you’re attracted to lmao get the fuck outta here..do you, bro. You’re on this earth for a limited amount of time so you might as well rock out. Good luck out there.

Isaac96969696 · 2021-05-23T04:44:04+00:00

Thanks bro. I totally agree with you by the way. I think it just takes time to calibrate yourself which is the bad part.

Plebe-Uchiha · 2021-05-22T20:54:07+00:00

Dawg. This is too funny. OP is like, I don’t get it it’s not working. All the comments below are about how much he’s killing it over the average guy.

It’s working. It’s not a movie though. It’s not always going to be a Wedding Crashes montage scene. It takes time. [+]

2021-05-23T06:00:34+00:00

Is the mall the place to be at? Would it not be more successful at a club or a party where single peoole are looking to hook up?

2021-05-23T07:30:53+00:00

As a woman, I’m gonna say that the mall is probably not the best place to pick up girls. We’re normally on a mission to obtain something. Try a place where women are actually out looking for a man - maybe a club, etc?

peak-performance- · 2021-05-23T07:44:56+00:00

I think a lot of women know about this approach now. I once had a man ask for my number in a food court and my sister grabbed my arm and pulled me away, when we got away from him she told me “don’t ever engage with someone like that, they ask everybody”

Available-Outside-19 · 2021-05-23T14:50:28+00:00

This sounds like door to door sales! Yikes! If I was observing you doing this and then you approached me, I would not be impressed at all. Seems far too desperate and inauthentic. Women are not like a “run on toilet paper BOGO free sale”. Try the library instead - at least right off the bat you know she is likely literate and possibly smart. 😀 But just remember to tread softly and speak quietly. 🤫 Whispering can be sexy. ;)

hookedrapunzel · 2021-05-23T15:57:53+00:00

This thread is filled with uneducated men.. Its sad to see how little all you men care enough about women that you haven't even bothered to educate yourselves on our recent movement and the problems we face.

It is creepy to be followed. Walking over to a woman shopping alone is NOT okay. 9/10 times that woman will have had a bad experience and will be getting mentally ready to escape. It's terrifying.

Isaac96969696 · 2021-05-22T20:25:54+00:00

It’s probably COVID, not you. If you’re in a left leaning state most women are going to be scared shitless of COVID. They think you are a disease ridden man especially if you don’t have a mask on indoors. Even with the cdc guidelines, they still judge you for not being masked indoors.

These women (and some men) will gladly go on vacation during the pandemic but scream over a man not wearing his mask indoors. The jokes write themselves.

If you’re not in a area that is scared of COVID maybe change your location up. Stop going to the mall.

miaou_dubois · 2021-05-23T01:10:40+00:00

Honestly if a guy approaches me in an environment where I have no idea who he is, street, subway, mall, coffee shop, he has got to be F-I-N-E otherwise I’ll just run away.

As a woman you get like a good 50-60% of males just looking you in the eye or at you as you pass by. Some men mutter random greetings to you as they pass once you’re a foot or so away. A cold approach is more a threat than endearing.

From my POV it sounds like you’re just harassing innocent women but I know this community will foam at the mouth for me phrasing it this way.

The better way is to join a social group, a sport team, book club, night class, any way for the women to feel safe with you and trust you first.

Scorchyy · 2021-05-22T22:11:40+00:00

I do cold approach from time to time but honestly it never worked for me, even when it's a situational approach and we had a good conversation. I might have approached 30-40 girls like than and I never had sex or even a second meeting with any of them. I'm average looking, not ugly but not hot either. I think women just instinctively view cold approach as creepy and you being desperate (which is kinda true, who would approach women outside if they're already getting laid regularly). One of the reason why it doesn't work is because of guys like you doing it intensively 5-10 times a day which makes women on their guard and when guys like me try it once in a while the girls have their guards up.

Anyway, the main takeaway is cold approach does not work, don't listen to videos or what people say here, the only results I had with girls was with girls I met online, I haven't tried night game much but it might be similar since girls have their guards up and they're with their friends anyway. Maybe if you approach 80-100 girls you might be able to fuck one by pure luck because she was into you and you caught her at the perfect time but it's not worth the effort even then, approaching 100 is too much efforts and rejections for potentially 1 success. I still try it once in a while if I meet a girl I really like and because I don't have approach anxiety but it's just for fun, I know it won't work.

2021-05-22T22:21:12+00:00

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RomanBathSalts · 2021-05-22T22:41:34+00:00

if you want to listen to any of these cucks with no social proof(picture) go ahead, but cold approaching at the mall is a horrible idea, should never be done, what caliber of woman are you looking for at the mall? Those chicks are gross. you should be cold approaching everywhere else BUT the mall. Where are you located? If a city, clubs or bars are WAY better

Own_Industry_240 · 2021-05-23T00:54:16+00:00

If you want real results and maximise the number of lays and reduce the number of flakiness etc, focus on yourself and work on your finances. When i finances i mean to the point where you can afford AMG, g wagon etc. once you start taking nice photos and post them on Instagram then 9’s and 10’s would be in your dms all the time. Those 9s and 10s would treat you exactly how a 2 or 3 would treat you like making everything easier for you, replying instantly etc. this is the only way to do it. Fuck confidence. Girls these days don’t care if you have confidence when it comes to attracting them, confidence only helps in keeping a girl. Money/status overcomes everything period

Ohyarlysmiles · 2021-05-22T20:06:54+00:00

You're not reflective enough and you're not pushing the envelope to MAKE HER FEEL SOMETHING.

TRY EVERYTHING WITHIN THE LAW TO GET HER TO FEEL SOMETHING.

Go read my posts on conversating with women and follow that structure

greenlight144000 · 2021-05-22T20:19:43+00:00

Sorry that I can’t offer advice but what do you usually say as your opener?

Isaac96969696 · 2021-05-22T20:29:16+00:00

Honestly, try night game first, it’s a different dynamic but it’ll get you used to trying and approaching is more normal, also less chance of getting in trouble cause you’re stepping to people at a mall

Isaac96969696 · 2021-05-22T20:30:24+00:00

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07paradigm · 2021-05-22T21:03:37+00:00

Bro you need to get feedback from someone with better game or find a method lol you can’t coach yourself. I mean you can, but you don’t have the knowledge to critique yourself. You don’t know what you don’t know. Relax. Seek knowledge or coaching before you beat yourself up. Keep approaching though. That’s a good thing. Props

Kigakani · 2021-05-22T21:04:19+00:00

If you're cold approaching and getting numbers, mission accomplished. What you are working on is a system, developing a system is what goes into approaching girls, figuring out what works and what doesn't, reworking it and attempting with the new knowledge for a better result.

You're doing great mate, stay with it. Just try to develop a strategy, and be mindful of what you're doing after you've gotten the number...which is the easiest part lol.

OneEyedKing808 · 2021-05-22T21:07:29+00:00

Just don’t be hard on yourself you’re doing well. Try to be more flirty and always smile when starting the approach. You can’t get done on yourself you will have tons of rejections but success sometimes

Isaac96969696 · 2021-05-22T21:10:29+00:00

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kdoggy513 · 2021-05-22T21:31:31+00:00

What type of outfit are you wearing during these cold approaches? Just curious!

likelyilllike · 2021-05-22T22:31:53+00:00

I think the biggest mistake is your aim of approach. If you start interacting without any intension and develop sort of connection then you will get more positive outcome. 5-10 women a day is quite a lot. Sometimes one woman a day can be a lot. This only could show your creepy intentions or at least automated approach thus getting automated response which is by default is no.

kazuechan · 2021-05-23T00:09:13+00:00

As a woman, I’ve been more receptive to men who start off with a compliment that is specifically catered towards me, start a conversation surrounding that, then asking for social media rather than phone number. Your technique is more than likely going to make me run away because it’s too direct which makes me suspicious that you’re a threat.

A compliment that’s specific means complimenting something that’s similar to you that she can see. For example, I have piercings, colored hair and I like anime so I tend to go for girls that looks similar. I compliment her bold hair color or her anime shirt or her eyes. If a girl isn’t interested she’ll keep walking with her eyes looking away from you. If she’s friendly, she’ll stop in her tracks, smile and this is the perfect opportunity to keep the convo going

This is where I start a convo around the said compliment. I’ll talk about how my roots desperately need dyeing and ask where she goes to. I’ll talk about the anime that I complimented her about. This disarms her because she starts to see similarities between you guys and that you’re not a threat. Once again, if she’s turning away from you, she’s probably busy or intimidated. Keep it moving.

I try to keep these interactions brief so I wrap the conversation up by asking for her social media instead of phone number. For me, phone number feels a lot more personal and I would never give that away to a stranger. Women put a lot of effort into looking presentable on IG and want to gain followers, even if you are a stranger. Once I see her page I make sure to compliment her feed and tell her how pretty she looks.

After I leave I make sure to send her a follow up DM letting her know who I am and how much fun I had talking to her. Here’s the fun part: waiting for her response...I’ve had girls unfollow me after this approach but I’ve never been ghosted nor blocked tho. If you’re intending to be close friends with her/tryna smash, make sure you escalate in a friendly matter before you’re placed on the back burner.

External12 · 2021-05-23T00:24:02+00:00

Need info. What are you doing when you approach them? Saying hello and introducing yourself? Or waving your penis?

2021-05-23T00:27:38+00:00

You telling me I’d get rejected even if I ask for 5-10 girls out daily? I cant even ask a girl out yet..

FIVE_6_MAFIA · 2021-05-23T00:46:52+00:00

Don't cold approach. You should hot approach instead (serious)

If she doesn't give you any choosing signals, leave her be.

SchoolieMcSchoolface · 2021-05-23T01:44:31+00:00

I did 200 cold approaches in the past and got one date out of it. Your mileage may vary but yes, in general cold approach has a low success rate. What I've learned is to not take things personally and don't be too hard on yourself on the results.

I'm starting cold approach again because my online dating results have been lackluster, (i'm 5'5")

oscarony · 2021-05-23T02:15:53+00:00

Stop going to the mall and find somewhere else like the gym to go to

2021-05-23T02:35:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

gonzaloavila16 · 2021-05-23T02:52:05+00:00

The whole point is exactly what you are doing: the approach itself. Rejection is good, and if you keep it up, it is just a matter of time until you start clicking with people you really like. Don't lose hope and focus on the amazin progress you are doing.

Isaac96969696 · 2021-05-23T02:56:33+00:00

Learn social skills. You just suck at talking to people

Isaac96969696 · 2021-05-23T03:03:33+00:00

I feel like you probably need to take a break from this and go do something else that interests you. I don't even find myself needing to do this because I'm always focused on what i like to do as a man who has purpose. The unecessary anxiety of getting successful with a woman and getting a partner isn't with me anymore, and it feels like a boulder has been lifted off of my chest

frankyduxx · 2021-05-23T03:18:43+00:00

You’re trying too hard. Asked if you can shop with her? Get her number and be more direct with making the plans. If she’s not reciprocating, she’s not interested.

Focus on being the best version of yourself before you go out and approach. Get in the gym, workout, look physically fit, dress nice, smell nice. The point is this = no girl is going to entertain cold approaches unless she is physically attracted. It all starts there.

Isaac96969696 · 2021-05-23T03:25:16+00:00

Cold approach is like practicing scales on the piano.

Don't think of it in terms of conversions. That's not the point. Would you really want to date somebody you just met on the street with no vetting? No. Cold approach is to develop your conversation skills in a context where you can make mistakes without impacting your relationships with people in your social circle.

If getting rejected is getting you down, take a break from closing. Just open new conversions, have a bit of fun, and then move on without pressing for a follow-up. Just focus on making it a fun and flirty interaction with no obligation or expectation. Keep an eye on their nonverbals. Ideally, you shouldn't be asking questions you don't know the answer to (re: securing a follow-up). You can try a soft close first to give her an opportunity to say no without saying no. This is a useful skill to develop for when you start applying these skills with people inside your extended social circle.

Dating is a dangerous activity for women. Even if you are hitting it off, most women won't give you their contact details if they don't know you and it isn't because of anything you personally have done wrong. Treat cold approach as practice.

FightingDad · 2021-05-23T03:30:04+00:00

Dude turn those eyes inward. What does your body look like? Do you like your body? Do you love it?!? I’m not saying you have to get roided up, but I am saying chicks are into busy guys and the effort you put into the best friend you’ve ever had will directly impact your first impression because people will be able to SEE your works and not just hear your words. If you already are fit dude, focus common! You’re not busy enough!

FlatDistance5 · 2021-05-23T03:45:38+00:00

That’s a pretty direct approach.... I use that a lot when I want to be lazy or I just want to get it over with, or she’s like my kids teacher and she has room full of kids. I believe approaching women that way puts them in a bit of a fight or flight stage. They could like you and want to date you but being that direct would cause them to give an automated response and most of the time it’s I have a boyfriend or a no, just my theory based on my cold approach history.

Here’s what I would do instead. Split test, between a direct and not so direct approach. The direct approach pretty much hey thought you were cute had to meet you. The more indirect subtle approach be more conversational first, I opened a girl the other day with wow that smells amazing what are you wearing, oh sex on the beach sounds a bit like an invitation (it wasn’t sex on the beach but still.... conversational) btw I I thought you looked cute so I had to come over to inspect you find out who you are. What do you do for fun..... had her come over the next night. Split test between conversational fun flirty or even observational openers, and direct hey thought you were cute had to meet you or a variation thereof openers

Hmm what else... oh if you can’t see something about her that is a conversational opener go to the more direct approach.

The benefit to a more indirect approach is if you did it correctly (showed your fun side, kino’d yes touched her even if her mom is standing next to her, made fun of her) is if she was on the fence your personality just pushed her waaaaaayyyy into the I’m attracted to this guy territory, and sometimes in the process you actually turn the girl on. I believe this is how unattractive short guys who regularly get women, get women, let her experience your personality and confident sexuality long enough and she’ll melt in your hands

The second benefit. Is you’ll have enough ammo to talk about some of her interests on the phone.... aka convert more of those indirect approach #s to dates.

The only drawback is a seemingly bigger time commitment. You could indirect approach go to set a date with her and she says she in a relationship.

Here’s my thoughts unless your in a rush or you can’t find something she’s doing or wearing to comment on a direct approach isn’t the best approach. Like I said split test find out what works the best

iammunukutla · 2021-05-23T03:54:28+00:00

It only has to work once man. Keep going. Don't quit now. 5 to 10 daily is great.

donaldtrumpsmistress · 2021-05-23T04:44:01+00:00

I think covid has made it even harder than it already was. People are more awkward now, more afraid of strangers after a year of isolation. I've been going through it too. Been cold approaching for about a decade, I've had great periods with frequent makeouts, dates, gfs all from cold approach. Had some rough periods. But this is by far the worst I've ever experienced it. Just constant rejection or numbers that go nowhere. So yeah it's just particularly difficult. Keep trying, I am. Online dating is probably more productive now, all the luck I've had has been when I give up and resort to online dating. But ugh I just fucking hate how boring it is meeting girls online

Own-Salad1974 · 2021-05-23T05:24:55+00:00

You need to get yourself into a good vibe

Yo_Techno · 2021-05-23T05:42:24+00:00

Maybe start using more observational openers instead of being direct? Could also be an issue with tonality and body language but definitely don't stop approaching. I know this would be hard after a number of rejections but keep expecting every interaction is going to be the best approach ever, if you're expecting rejection they'll read that quick.

UrbanSkydiver70 · 2021-05-23T07:16:02+00:00

Hey man, when you do this what do you typically say?

Isaac96969696 · 2021-05-23T08:28:55+00:00

Be wary of high volume approaching if you're a newbie and not in a big city: it will backfire quickly once a girl (who has likely rejected you) recognises you, because that will happen. Speaking from experience here.

As advice: after each set, write down the things that worked for you, and what didn't. Fine tune..Try again. I may be wrong but your post gives the impression you keep trying the same thing again and again expecting different results. Einstein's definition of stupidity.

Siberian473 · 2021-05-23T08:42:51+00:00

First of all you, rock! It really takes some discipline and balls to do such an amount of cold approaches. As advice or idea to try, if you establish a good connection with the girl, you can ask her to shop with you and help you choose jeans or something (present for a friend, for example). That way is not that weird as following her shopping, but has the same effect — you get a little instant date if she agrees.

mikejamesone · 2021-05-23T09:25:23+00:00

Dress up to the 9's and have a killer opener. Message me and I'll tell you 👌

kdcblogs · 2021-05-23T10:51:21+00:00

People can smell desperation and it’s not attractive. Be open, be yourself. Don’t give up. But chasing something hard only makes it run fast.

Isaac96969696 · 2021-05-23T21:22:03+00:00

I don't get why everywhere I go there is a dude with a chick. Like how are they with someone but I'm still single? But maybe they are friends no biggie I guess

Ashido_Komaki · 2021-05-25T17:38:52+00:00

Some women are picky and don't want to be bothered unless you have something they want

Justforfuninnyc · 2021-05-28T20:05:58+00:00

Here’s the thing: I accept that your intentions are not creepy, and that you’re not aggressive. Still, this whole thing you’re describing is...problematic. I have female friends that feel compelled to dress down just to avoid the situation you find harmless and worth a try. Many women just want to be able to go shopping WITHOUT getting hit on by random dudes. Regardless of their intentions. Maybe if they were looking for people to date, they’d look online, or go to parties or social events. Most men will tell you what you’re doing is fine. They’re wrong. Most women I know strongly prefer NOT to engage in conversation with strange men who are only even speaking to them because they find them attractive (aka, they wanna fuck them). Sometimes, it’d be nice for women to just go about their errands WITHOUT having to fend off well intentioned men like yourself that think hitting on strangers in public places is fine. I’m sorry you’re single and lonely (really). And I’m not trying to be a dick or cut you down. I’m encouraging you to imagine what it’s like for women to get hit on every fucking place they go. Trust me on this, very few find it pleasant or flattering, most find it annoying, and many find it super stressful I know really nice, perfectly attractive women that would literally go out of their way to avoid this exact situation. Food for thought if you so choose. ☮️

FlippinFlags · 2021-05-31T19:27:12+00:00

I'd say interact with men too.. maybe not in your 'pickup spot' but anywhere else in public..

Make eye contact with everyone.. man, woman, old, young.. say hi or something interesting to everyone within 3-4 feet of you..

Hey cool shoes/shirt/hat/socks - W-H-A-T-E-V-E-R .. have fun with it.. you can also compliment things you don't like - just for the fun of it.- to keep it fun and interesting to yourself (self amusing) - this will help improve your confidence at a much quicker rate vs - just talking to people in your pickup spot etc.

This will help build your social interaction muscles and give you more confidence which will help with your pickup.

Title	Cold Approach
Author	Isaac96969696
Upvotes	305
Comments	462
Date	May 22, 2021 7:57 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/niqoqc/cold_approach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/cold-approach.1283984 https://theredarchive.com/post/1283984

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