How can an average female date an attractive male? Someone “out of my league”? [recovered]

martyr1337 · 2022-05-01T17:37:06+00:00

Good vibe and a healthy body aka go to the gym and be chill

WhiteningMcClean · 2022-05-01T18:07:23+00:00

Be in-shape, be chill, be outgoing, be confident, be low-maintenance, and be in-shape. Yes I said it twice.

Also, if looks are that important to you, you're probably going to have to compromise in other areas. I'm objectively physically attractive, and I'm absolutely willing to date an average-looking girl if she takes good care of her body and I vibe with her.

That said, I have my issues and most girls aren't about my personality once they get to know me. If you're looking for hot guys who are willing to settle in the looks department, you're going to run into a lot of fellow weirdos. Dating is a numbers game and you need to be prepared for disappointment before finding somebody.

AstralValProjection · 2022-05-01T17:41:18+00:00

Get on to their league if that really matters to you, if not, forget about "leagues" and focus on yourself to become the best version and then while doing that you must be dating, working on your game, etc whatever you're into. Don't think "I must achieve this first before doing that", it's just an infinite loop.

Copypasted my answer from another post op is a guy, adjust it.

_lenni · 2022-05-01T17:35:12+00:00

Feminine attitude/character Dont be fat Dont have kids

Mr_lightning22 · 2022-05-01T19:47:53+00:00

You go to the gym and become hot enough to date them

Boom that's the secret

bulldawg91 · 2022-05-01T19:00:05+00:00

Hooking up with one is feasible, locking one down will be harder since they have options. Not to be blunt but it’s the way of the jungle

threepurpleplanes · 2022-05-01T18:40:32+00:00

[permanently deleted]

AyiHutha · 2022-05-01T18:13:00+00:00

Average women has greater demand that you would expect. Obviously its hard to target to very top of the male hierarchy if you rely on natural appearance alone.

bubblesfrompowerpuff · 2022-05-01T17:31:58+00:00

IMO you two would be in the same league by default. An average woman can go a long ways if she knows what she wants I would imagine.

Chelseus · 2022-05-01T21:02:26+00:00

Why do you want that? I’ve been happily married for ten years but back when I was in the dating game I got with a few beautiful men…and it wasn’t anything special. Personality is infinitely more important than looks.

2022-05-01T17:40:26+00:00

Go outside

Orion_420 · 2022-05-01T17:55:19+00:00

I don't think it's worth it because more attractive guy can get more attractive partner when he wants.

I guess the only thing you can do is to have similar hobbies/interests and have chemistry.

Yamochao · 2022-05-01T19:05:09+00:00

Easy, keep making friends and meeting people in groups until you find someone you're both attracted to and have resonant world-views/common interests with. You'll get there.

Then go to a therapist and trying to work on your confidence and negative self-talk. If you're thinking of yourself as inferior, you'll tolerate shit you shouldn't, and you aren't inferior, it's a cognitive distortion. Ranking human beings is a toxic modern delusion.

L0n3W01f_ · 2022-05-01T19:25:24+00:00

Don’t label them as an attractive male

yourlittleman01 · 2022-05-01T18:25:28+00:00

Well you have to know that he would be having a lot of girls hanging around with him. Are you sure you can accept that? Even if the chances of him cheating on you is high, are you willing to take this risk? Are you sure you won't be insecure about him? Maybe consider these questions before making your move.

UrFavPlayerIsBack · 2022-05-01T18:55:59+00:00

Feminine characteristics. And a cute smile

All u need to attract & keep a man u desire around

Alternative_Title384 · 2022-05-01T18:56:30+00:00

I am surprised by how people are nice here, I remember a guy asking the same question in this sub and he got trashed so badly.

My advice, there is no league, just be honest with the guy. Hitting the gym and some nice clothes style can also do wonders, especially for girls.

AyWhatITIS · 2022-05-01T20:14:26+00:00

Cleavage

gangweedsavedme · 2022-05-01T20:16:21+00:00

Have the same sense of humor. And stop being shallow.

mojo_mast · 2022-05-01T21:07:27+00:00

Here is the brutal truth, men are visual creatures. So basically become a gym rat, put yourself in front of men so they see the opportunity.

LankyPaleontologist2 · 2022-05-01T21:42:11+00:00

Confidence. By far the most attractive trait I find in someone.

I’m in great shape, above average , and have dated women who were “ below my league”

SunnySideAttitude · 2022-05-01T22:12:48+00:00

Be a good person so when. You are in. A relationship it will be a good thing. For both of you.

Indian_Cap · 2022-05-01T23:09:27+00:00

Attractive men are not dating attractive women and vice versa. So you are good. It’s very rare for both to be attractive.

What you can change? Your body. If you are super hot, most men will fall for you. So work on your body. Then wear clothes that compliments your body. If you are dressed better than others, it will catch attention. Also figure out best hairstyle for you. Good hair can change everything.

recyclablebanthas · 2022-05-02T04:36:05+00:00

1

How can an average female date an attractive male? Someone “out of my league”?

If you get a group of people in a room and ask them who their "10s" are, you won't get consensus.

One person's 10 will be another person's 7 or 6.

What constitutes, "average female attractiveness," is going to vary across the dudes you're going to encounter.

2

I genuinely need actual advice cause I feel my confidence is failing me.

Confidence is the issue here. Your own assessment of your own attractiveness is going to vary from people you'll meet.

The problem is, if you have low confidence, it can turn people off, EVEN if they were otherwise attracted to you initially. Low confidence often convinces people to change their minds when they were initially up for it.

myloteller · 2022-05-01T18:21:43+00:00

Why do you say you’re average? Im convinced every person could be a solid 8+/10 if they just ate a little bit healthier and went to the gym a bit.

Every guy is different but most guys will give a girl a chance if she makes the first move. It’s so uncommon and out of left field that it’s kinda hard to not at least hear her out.

whomeverIwishtobe · 2022-05-01T21:03:22+00:00

I mean to be completely totally unabashedly honest with you - it’s very easy for women to play outside their league.

The fact that you are saying you’re trying but it’s not working maybe means that you have maxed out your home field advantage, catch my drift?

However I also hate thinking this way. When you go around judging everything based on a 1-10 scale or what have you you’re building toxic belief systems.

I don’t think about it as more or less attractive when I evaluate potential partners, I think am I attracted to this person? And that’s all that matters.

didsomebodysaymyname · 2022-05-01T21:16:41+00:00

It's the same for men and women, if someone doesn't want you, they don't want you.

If you just want an attractive guy, improve the things you can control, physical fitness, personality, clothes other qualities as a partner like stability, sex, emotional support, having an interesting life.

Some attractive guy will date you, but nothing will make any attractive guy date you.

LordFlanders · 2022-05-01T21:18:13+00:00

Don't be fat and download tinder lol

hoothoot6996 · 2022-05-01T21:18:48+00:00

funny, laid back and doesn't take silly jokes seriously.

but you should not let others walk all over you.

I swear I fell in love with this girl. at first I didn't care about her as she was just a coworker and I had no plans on dating coworker. she was average, I was average but slowly I saw her personality oh Lord was I in love. she's the coolest laid back jokester

Due-Communication988 · 2022-05-01T21:31:06+00:00

Good body will get you far, but tbh the top guys who are 2/3 times more attractive than average have ALL of the options. They have the low percentile all the way up to the 99th percentile. You are competing with the best of the best girls for that one guy. Your chances are slim. And if that guy chooses you, he can always drop you for the someone better. You need to keep everything on fleek. If they guy you want is into girly girly submissive women, you better submit to him or he’ll pick some else. So I mean is it worth it ? He may just wanna fuck you. I mean is it really worth it ? What do you get out of this besides dating someone who’s hot ????

ksmith11011 · 2022-05-01T21:46:09+00:00

I’ve gone for a couple of traditionally ugly girls but they looked hot to me because I got to know them and formed a connection over time. Usually at some point I have to make a decision if I want to go for it or not. It helps if there’s some history of friendship there too. In fact that may be necessary

Rogue1371 · 2022-05-01T22:10:20+00:00

1st- is it a specific person, or more attractive guys in general? 2nd- I'd say work on developing a cool, fun, down to earth style (i.e. how people perceive you) 3rd- find areas of interest they have that may interest you, and express interest in that 4th- interact with them and don't be afraid to ask them out

Good luck

HaikusfromBuddha · 2022-05-01T22:22:42+00:00

60% just ask. If he is single there is a high chance he will date you. Men are deprived of compliments good will so if you’re doing that more than likely you’ll make a guy remember you forever.

Be the best version of yourself physically. If you look at yourself in the mirror and know you aren’t putting any effort in yourself why would a generally attractive man settle for someone that doesn’t bare minimum keep up their appearance like he does? A well dressed person probably wants a well dressed spouse. We healthy fit person probably wants a healthy fit partner.

Look at who you are trying to attract and if you can change something about yourself to match their level of self care then do it.

legbreaker · 2022-05-01T22:26:50+00:00

Look rich.

Look famous.

Look popular.

2-3x hotter is a tall order. But men are attracted to status and confidence. And beautiful women is the classic way for men to show status.

The other way is for men to elevate their status through a woman is her money or social network or confidence.

Quick fixes:

So if you want an attractive dude, find a younger poorer hot dude and you might be of value for him. (This is how most men get hotter women)
Or find a socially awkward or new to town hot guy that would benefit from your social network.
find a hot dude with low confidence and shower him with honest praise. Make him feel like a king with you and you will have him for life.

Long term goals:

Work your way up in a social group that deals with money, power or fame… and go to the gym.

maxpossimpible · 2022-05-01T23:02:39+00:00

Humour, being sexy, dressing nice, good vibe, positivity, being fun, confidence, being interesting.

All very hard things to do and take a lot of practice and intelligence.

youcheekydelinquent · 2022-05-01T23:19:33+00:00

Confidence and charm are universal

Arnoski · 2022-05-02T02:47:31+00:00

Be confident, be present, be attentive. There’s something goddamn sexy about a woman whose willing to ask for what she wants, and if that’s paired with a shapely body & an intelligent mind, that’s the stuff of dreams for most worthwhile men.

FightForDemocracyNow · 2022-05-01T19:53:34+00:00

Give great head and put alot of effort into making sex really enjoyable for him.

Leon_The_Greek123 · 2022-05-01T18:21:01+00:00

You can date me.

jobbo321 · 2022-05-01T20:30:57+00:00

You can't. I know it sounds harsh, but men are an absolute expert at knowing who they think is hot or not. The most you'll get is a FWB but don't be expecting any commitment. Sounds blunt but it's the truth. Men just don't go into relationships with women who aren't as attractive as they are. For women this isn't the case as much because their sex drive (testosterone) is much lower than a man.

So, unless you want to get pumped and dumped a few times, don't. If you just want to have sex with him shoot your shot.

2022-05-01T18:41:34+00:00

/r/fPUA

tes_befil · 2022-05-01T18:12:13+00:00

Most people date in their league so, if you want that you need to work on yourself to become more attractive. If you only want hook ups you're probably already fine but when it comes to dating generally people date in their league. Workout, eat right, and dress well are the only tips.

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-05-01T19:35:30+00:00

You can make up for your average looks by having an outstanding personality and attitude. Also, it’s important to have above average sex skills and an enthusiasm for sex.

Contango6969 · 2022-05-01T17:53:41+00:00

Be extra submissive and do things in bed other girls won’t.

Tiny_Ad2151 · 2022-05-01T18:56:51+00:00

I think the question is why you think your confidence might be failing you. Which part of yourself are you insecure about? Your character, your hobbies, your looks etc?

When you don't feel confident, it starts to show in your body language and your speech. When you feel better about yourself, the issue about you and a guy being in different leagues will stop mattering so much to you anymore.

If you feel like there are things about yourself that you want to improve on to feel more confident, by all means pls do it. If it's not something you can change, then learn to accept that part of yourself and move on. Once you do, you'll realize that it's less of a deal than you initially thought.

All the best and I hope you gain more self-confidence

MetaphysicPhilosophy · 2022-05-01T19:18:56+00:00

Dress hot. Act hot. Play hard to get

pdx4nhl · 2022-05-01T20:30:11+00:00

As others have said: be healthy and get to the gym. Have a good sense of humor. Hang out with guys who have similar interests: if you like the outdoors, join a hiking group. If you like board games, do that.

Being kinky will help too…but that’s tough to force if you’re lights off and missionary primarily.

WanyCaleb · 2022-05-01T19:30:42+00:00

Tall, sexy walk, hips swinging back and forth like a pro. Dress in a silky, business like dress that cut off at mid thigh. Something along those lines. Exploit your best asset, Le body.

MrBlack__ · 2022-05-01T18:35:31+00:00

Don’t be fat, don’t have kids, don’t be a bitch, bring value to hes life after sex and be that particular man’s type… nothing else you can really do unfortunately… but fortunately most women are most mens type so the odds are in your favour

baretredflag · 2022-05-01T21:30:13+00:00

dont play hard to get, always sey yes to sex

joeyggg · 2022-05-01T22:25:06+00:00

Career is a big factor that success/goal driven guys consider when looking for a long term partner. A woman with a solid career is more rare than a cute face and a bubble butt because Obviously if both partners are good earners it means a bigger house, car, etc. rather than him having to support a dependant who was once hot.

theosamabahama · 2022-05-01T22:29:18+00:00

If you are easy, make the first move and is willing to do other stuff that other women won't (including in bed), he can take an interest on you. If a girl is willing to have sex, guys will take the offer as long as she is not hideous. Being average is good enough for sex even for super attractive guys.

But that will mostly get you hook ups. If you want a relationship, you also need to vibe with him and have a great personality.

ACEGIKMOPQRS · 2022-05-01T22:49:13+00:00

Imagine the comments if this was a guy saying he’s average but wants girls 3x better looking than him. Probably would just get roasted in the comments.

kiramdahanett · 2022-05-01T17:38:33+00:00

This is the same exact way every unattractive woman i know is killing it :

Build a solid instagram by retouching your photos like crazy & uploading "high value" story posts , photos can be taken by a shitty phone in shitty location , color grading & retouch matter more than anything

6 pictures as main posts & some highlights will do the job,

buy 2000-5000 followers as well .

bonus : for poses on photos , learn from ig thots then re-create them.

Fluffy_Risk9955 · 2022-05-01T18:22:52+00:00

Here's how you solve the "average" part. A female "friend" of mine, she's a gorgeous woman. Everything she touches becomes feminine and beautiful. She goes to a beauty parlour every now and then. Hair treatment, face treatment, skin treatment, etc. And to be honest the difference is night and day. Besides her I know several girls who go to a beauty parlour and several who don't and there's a significant difference in level of beauty between the two groups.

bubblesfrompowerpuff · 2022-05-01T19:28:20+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Ficklefuker2022 · 2022-05-01T20:21:46+00:00

You can be an amazing person. Once intimate you can be a cougar in the bedroom. Fullfill every fantasy. 👅 Thats it. Looks fade. Good luck girl

stayJUICYx · 2022-05-01T20:33:45+00:00

BOTOX BABYGIRL — AKA cosmetic surgery or non-surgery procedure.

Also, you’d be surprised how much of a difference a pale body looks VS a glowing tan body 🔥 ; I personally go to “California Sun” it’s a tanning salon.

Hair extensions. If you’re brunette, go to a professional hair salon & get some highlights. My mother used to tell me this Russian saying “the beauty of a girl depends on her hair”

SMELL GOOD. I mean everywhereee, always be ready. Whitening strips for your teeth.

& after you’re finished with this he’s gunna be on his knees begging for you to stay. Wish you the best💋 #glowUP ✨

EnvironmentalRule525 · 2022-05-01T20:39:42+00:00

Be cool. Don’t nag. Cook for us. Take care of us. Be pleasant. Be interesting. Be an absolute freak in the sheets.

tropicsGold · 2022-05-01T20:45:33+00:00

Lure him in with a nice firm curvy body, then hook him with tons of fantastic sex. Make all of his sexual fantasies come true.

LandscapeClear1630 · 2022-05-01T22:37:00+00:00

You can't.

Stay in your league.

willgo-waggins · 2022-05-01T17:37:36+00:00

Why do you consider yourself “average”?

What are your best qualities? Do you emphasize and enhance them? Do you have a good personality? Average face great body? Great face average body? In shape? Fat?

You aren’t giving any information at all so it’s going to be impossible to offer good advice.

ResponsibilityKey427 · 2022-05-01T19:29:53+00:00

Be in the best shape possible

Snight · 2022-05-01T20:01:04+00:00

Be slim and healthy. Be positive and have your shit / mental health handled. Be outcome free and don’t feel like you need other people to be happy.

thishumandude · 2022-05-01T20:09:34+00:00

Approach them first, and flirt with them, and carry the conversation, guys would talk to a tree if they didn't need to initiate the conversation.

drewcer · 2022-05-01T20:36:23+00:00

Don’t be fat, have a feminine energy. There are books I can recommend if you need them.

TheJackal619 · 2022-05-01T21:03:40+00:00

Knowing how to cook and having a genuine/curious personality should be enough. I’ve seen plenty of good looking dudes with some women that I personally did not consider very attractive.

2022-05-01T21:16:55+00:00

Be physically and mentally attractive = workout, take care of yourself, eat healthy, be mature and emotionally stable, have your own hobbies, and a personality that will be invaluable to someone in a partnership, and the missing ingredient - a fair bit of luck.

robml · 2022-05-01T21:54:58+00:00

Rules 1 and 2 always apply, but what about yourself do you find average as opposed to attractive in the first place?

cormacru999 · 2022-05-01T21:59:39+00:00

[permanently deleted]

appmanga · 2022-05-01T22:28:49+00:00

First of all, if you go into a situation thinking you're "out of your league" you're screwing yourself up. You are good enough to be in any league, and if you don't believe that you cannot get to what you want. If you don't have confidence in yourself why should anyone have any confidence that you can be a good friend or lover?

If you don't like who you are, there are things you can change, but you fundamentally have to believe in yourself and your capabilities. Most of all, be true to yourself. There's nothing anyone here can tell you to make you believe in you. And if you're just looking for arm candy, it doesn't take much to entice a guy to bite.

Good luck.

PrinceofMcdonalds · 2022-05-01T22:30:27+00:00

90 % of your SMV as a female are your looks and age. The younger you are the better. Men don't want to do anything with you unless you meet our looks threshold.

ShameAffectionate15 · 2022-05-01T22:37:07+00:00

Use a dating app.

Danielnyj15 · 2022-05-02T00:15:24+00:00

In up hill fights Id say lean hard af into ur strengths, and gym. Working out is such an under utilized tools for alot of the girls ik

ireadalott · 2022-05-02T00:43:28+00:00

Spread your legs

user009818 · 2022-05-02T01:15:11+00:00

Lmfao just get fit

KingOfNeptune · 2022-05-02T10:16:44+00:00

STOP SAYING CONFIDENCE MOTHERFUCK

God, the amount people in this fucking subreddit say "confidence" makes my fucken bones melt.

Confidence does not change a woman's attractiveness, nearly at all. Men are sexually attracted to looks. If you want to be as sexually attractive as possible, improve your looks as much as possible. Work out, take care of your skin, etc.

You can be attractive in non-sexual ways, though, and those count for something. Have a personality, be interesting. Most attractive girls are completely empty inside because their entire lives, they've had everything handed to them and they've never had to develop a personality. Guys know this. They tolerate it for the poon. You can stand out from this crowd with even the smallest crumb of genuine inner life. Cultivate this. Share with the guys you meet. Bond with them over genuine shared interests.

Develop values, things you believe in, and live by them. Most attractive girls don't believe in anything. They only care about status and power. Be loyal. Tell the truth. I would kill for an average-looking loyal girl. I only seem to find gorgeous psychopaths. Been there, done that. It's hell.

billcosbystd7 · 2022-05-03T15:00:41+00:00

I don't think that matters so much as what's on the inside. You don't have to prove your worthy of someone who is more attractive. Find someone who wants you for you or move on.

Ok-Cauliflower2454 · 2022-05-03T17:20:32+00:00

Confidence has its own charm

Title	How can an average female date an attractive male? Someone “out of my league”? [recovered]
Author	bubblesfrompowerpuff [recovered]
Upvotes	71
Comments	166
Date	May 1, 2022 5:30 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ug4uyq/how_can_an_average_female_date_an_attractive_male/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-can-an-average-female-date-an-attractive-male.1260695 https://theredarchive.com/post/1260695

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