[deleted by user]

MagistaMarius · 2022-03-07T11:52:02+00:00

As someone who plays several instruments and is an conductor for a small marching band, I can safely say:

Playing instruments will not get you laid. At least not in my experience.

norwegiandoggo · 2022-03-07T08:45:50+00:00

That you can join or create a band is much more important than playing an instrument. If you ask girls to go home with you to hear you play the bongos, it just won't work. Being the leader of the band is even better. If you're in a band, it signals you're kind of good, have social skills, and an audience. If you sit at home and play Wonderwall on your guitar it doesn't matter and nobody cares.

DrouinWasOnsides · 2022-03-07T14:08:34+00:00

I play guitar and sing, and have played over 2000 gigs in my area over the past 12 years. I am a young guy, a little skinny but going to the gym now. Attractive but not top 10 percent. I am a little shy but working on that too.

I have been laid 0 times from music.

GarugasRevenge · 2022-03-07T09:32:15+00:00

I tried learning guitar and tried to swoon someone with my perfect rendition of "ode to joy".

Her response: I don't think it sounds like that.

chovies93 · 2022-03-07T10:36:55+00:00

Been in bands for about 8 years now and never had a single girl DM me about it

TIL im ugly

xBloodBender · 2022-03-07T10:01:39+00:00

You shouldn’t just learn an instrument for the main purpose of getting laid cmon

I like producing music through computers and synths more than playing instruments. I’m learning the piano slowly but don’t spend a lot of time on it. Basically do what you love in life for yourself

NostalgiaUltr · 2022-03-07T09:15:22+00:00

Can confirm I joined a Chorus a while back and it’s been a night and day difference

ld20r · 2022-03-07T13:08:29+00:00

It depends on how successful the band is to be honest.

Plenty of bands out there gigging every week and coming home to an empty room.

But I do happen to know of one massively successful indie band on an mainstream level and there not particularly much to shout about on looks but are dating models.

So your success, where your gigging and how often your gigging matters a lot when it comes to getting laid or not.

Learning and playing music has no guarantees to women but being Successful and popular does.

patchbaystray · 2022-03-07T14:19:47+00:00

Bassist here. This doesn't work. Trust me.

cowarrior1 · 2022-03-07T16:40:45+00:00

Guitarist here. Playing instruments has ripple effect. First, you have interesting hobby, you get social status, attentions, pre selections among girls. If lots of girls are hitting you up, you get confidence, and unconsciously you get used to gaming.

Edit: Dont learn instrument for the sake of getting girls. You gotta enjoy the process. Most noobs quit after 1-2 months since it requires patience and practice.

EvadingTaxes · 2022-03-07T08:06:41+00:00

My dad is a musician and used to have a relatively successful band - apart from bras being thrown at him and having to spontaneously organise showgirls (number girls?) for box fights the story on how my mom and him met is pretty funny as well.

She was literally out with her boyfriend at a bigger concert of my dads band, turned to her boyfriend pointing at my dad and said „this is the man I’m going to marry one day“ - she was correct!

PuempelsPurpose · 2022-03-07T14:22:22+00:00

While this is overly simplistic, I think a lot can be learned by just looking at OP's submission history. The people who post either fatalistic BS or "Johnny Bravo" one-liner BS tend to have embarrassing submission histories. This guy, meanwhile, just seems like a guy who has some niche interests and loves talking about them.

If you enjoy life and are passionate about things, people in general will like you.

damiancontrol · 2022-03-07T19:33:39+00:00

This is one of the worst advice I have ever read. Not because it doesn't work but because learning an instrument just for the sole purpose of getting laid is absolutely pathetic and desperate. No to mention... learning an instrument ain't no walk in the fucking park.

Learn an instrument IF and only IF you want to.

Dumy_Hmn · 2022-03-07T15:06:53+00:00

To be honest thats was my main reason to start playing guitar a few years ago. And definitely it works. But as others say, it is more about having a cool band with the boys instead of just playing an instrument.

DJVendetta · 2022-03-07T12:12:33+00:00

Jesus

LNER4498 · 2022-03-07T12:22:20+00:00

I have grade 5 viola. Any women interested?

aerosmith760 · 2022-03-07T15:12:28+00:00

Sheesh a lot of mixed responses in this thread

Corsavis · 2022-03-07T15:27:43+00:00

If you don't feel like learning to play an instrument, learn how to DJ instead. But like...how to ACTUALLY DJ, mixing tracks, looping, etc., not wedding type DJing where you just press "play" and "next".

THE most desirable I've ever felt was when I was DJing clubs and house parties

chef_boiardy · 2022-03-07T15:03:21+00:00

I can say with confidence this is cap

marianoktm · 2022-03-07T22:54:40+00:00

As a guy who plays guitar, held A SHIT TON of concerts and has a band: That's not true.

Flvxvry · 2022-03-07T12:12:44+00:00

You can get laid way easier than by learning a whole instrument and joining a band though 💀

Gordon101 · 2022-03-07T13:59:20+00:00

Depends what kind of music scene right? I'm thinking about starting a Shoegaze/punk band.

DoubleSly · 2022-03-07T16:30:47+00:00

I’m in a band that plays pop / funk / rock music at my college. It absolutely gets you laid. But that’s because I’m playing solos, getting the crowd riled up, and making people have fun. Being able to play wonderwall on your guitar does none of that.

biokaizen · 2022-03-07T12:59:57+00:00

Sure, now I am going to lose hundred of hours just to see if I get laid more easily

2022-03-07T16:17:28+00:00

Lmao guys be learning instruments (for months/years) just to get laid. Pathetic ass betas downvote me bitches

Soberskate9696 · 2022-03-07T17:27:51+00:00

Professional skin flute

Sawt0othGrin · 2022-03-07T19:47:58+00:00

If you're getting up and doing big things like playing shows then yeah you're on your mission, purpose, drive and success grind.

TJSwoboda · 2022-03-07T21:00:37+00:00

Supposedly Gene Simmons was a virgin, teaching sixth grade (Mr. Klein at the time), and started a band to get laid. Obviously worked for him.

LibrarianFinancial65 · 2022-03-07T15:58:56+00:00

I can agree with this tho lol. Women are emotional and music bring emotions in people. Just let that sink in. My ex used to scream every time i would give some solid groove on bass. That’s how I got her.

2022-03-07T17:57:29+00:00

absolutely not. terrible advice

waffletasstic · 2022-03-07T22:06:28+00:00

This is cap. I have a friend that’s getting a masters degree in guitar and plays in a band or solo plays in restaurants for money on the weekends. He’s the biggest virgin ever.

SunDevilElite42 · 2022-03-08T02:46:09+00:00

I respectfully disagree, learn how to dance salsa/country swing, no one, especially you young guns know how to truly dance, but 99% of attractive women love to dance. If she’s single and gives me one full spin around the dance floor, it’s over. It’s literally fishing with dynamite, especially if you’re into Latinas…

BigGlassesGirls · 2022-03-07T20:35:36+00:00

I think your post has a few key points:

You are working out so you are healthier and more fit.

You have a hobby that gets you out in front of a lot of people and is social.

You are doing something fun and interesting.

You are having a good time, you band makes other people have a good time so you are brining value to other people’s lives-and that is always attractive!

2022-03-07T13:49:43+00:00

Not true dude. You are basically having beginners luck. Here you are with a tiny bit of success and think it's gonna last the rest of your life LMFAO. Way to extrapolate and make outlandish assumptions. An instrument doesn't get you laid.

DaddyPenguin1 · 2022-03-07T18:22:08+00:00

Damn this sub is going downhill.

TheGuyWhoPutTheBomp · 2022-03-07T22:15:07+00:00

invest hundreds of hours into hobby that you aren't interested it "to get laid" 🤡 🤡

ICastPunch · 2022-03-07T13:19:13+00:00

I mean but... That's too much effort. I dunno about you but I cannot get bothered to learn an intrument just for some pussy. You guys are too desperate it's kinda sad.

Kitchen-Landscape735 · 2022-03-07T13:36:32+00:00

So if I learn the flute or trumpet I’ll get laid right?

2022-03-07T19:00:24+00:00

Is this about seduction or having sex with as many women as possible, because I think they’re very two different things, and being in a band just means you attract attention; I don’t think that makes you seductive ie famous people aren’t attractive just cause their famous, but you could say fame is what attracts these people. Doesn’t mean that your not going about seducing women in and odd or from what I’m reading very self expensing way

I just think that you can sleep around sure but how does that make you seductive😭I tattoo and women love that but I using my skills as a way you lure women in just seems 😖

theangeldust96 · 2022-03-07T20:20:51+00:00

Yeah man sure i play guitar since 2020 and i am pretty decent,having a considerable number of hours of practice. Recently at a party i played some crazy megadeth riffs and a song fro tbe offsprings with a friend (he was on the drums) and the girls could lirerally not care less. I do not regret starting because it s very relaxing, gives you a way to express yourself and release some stress (for me still caused by the girls), but do not expect chicks to like it, especially in this day and age where for my generation, they all listen to traviss scot and cardi b and some other BS. Just stay true to yourself

MrColfax · 2022-03-07T12:00:40+00:00

What do you play in the band?

meteorness123 · 2022-03-07T14:40:06+00:00

The problem isn.. if the motivation behind learning an instrument is so you get laid.. it will wear off quick..very quick

coldbrew18 · 2022-03-07T15:22:21+00:00

An old friend of my has regular flings with a porn actress because he’s in a band she likes. Actually she’s part of the reason the band got any attention at all.

milkandgin · 2022-03-07T15:39:24+00:00

LOL ding-dongs- so not true

TiedHands · 2022-03-07T15:41:39+00:00

Not true lol. Ive been playing guitar for 20 years and its never given me any luck with a lady.

thecopps · 2022-03-07T16:04:37+00:00

LMAO

invaderjif · 2022-03-07T16:19:15+00:00

So learn to play Wonderwall?

marsmodule · 2022-03-07T16:28:47+00:00

Instruments by themselves never got me laid, it’s being in band that’s gets you laid lol

driller20 · 2022-03-07T16:42:16+00:00

If someone ask me to find a large group of virgin people, I would check band camps, auditorums, flute groups, etc

Life-Restaurant · 2022-03-07T16:44:41+00:00

I can vouch for this, I’m a acoustic musician from Pennsylvania and I play at different cafes and breweries 3-4 nights a week and it definitely gets girls interested. Usually they will come up after my show and I will ask for their Instagram and from there we start talking. I’ve gotten 3 girlfriends from this lol.

HoosierProud · 2022-03-07T17:20:25+00:00

Practices the cowbell for months to join band

Funk_Apus · 2022-03-07T17:24:42+00:00

I played bass in a 7 piece funk band that was super fun, and popular. The amount of women was absolutely ridiculous. It was hard for me to even accept that all these super attractive women were into me. I got over it though! Those were the days. The thing that is not mentioned here, is that in order to be any good, it takes a hell of a lot of hard work. Also bands are a lot of work. It was great for me when I was younger and could juggle it all. But now that I support myself and have a full time job. It’s tricky at best.

sudophish · 2022-03-07T17:41:07+00:00

Yeah idk man. I’ve played guitar for over 20 years. Glad it worked for you but I learned early from the advice of Smash Mouth “Dont start a band… cause you won’t get paid and you wont get laid”.

Edit: wait I think it was Reel Big Fish that said that.

Caio_dos_Hack · 2022-03-07T17:43:28+00:00

true

zertsetzung · 2022-03-07T18:37:21+00:00

Thanks but life isnt that simple or one size fits all for everywone.

I try hard not to be dismissive of posts like this because I know that they are heartfelt. But for those of us older than you, finding success in X or happiness in Y is not a linear A to B path.

I mean heck, even your situation where you think that you got laid because you play an instrument? It goes so much deeper than that and you probably without realizing probably got laid because while you were learning an instrument, you were subconciously working on and fixing other aspects of yourself.

It takes years of living to be able to give complete and well rounded advice. I am 34, more than likely much older and experienced than you, and still even I avoid giving blanket statement style advice on the internet.

Why? Because given the fact that everyone is different and their situations are different, I realize that I dont know jack shit, much less everything. And I realize that I dont have it figured out.

So, I stick to specific topics that I am experienced with when I give advice. And I typically only give advice when asked (helps me avoid having to deal with snarky GenXer's and Boomers in the comment section who are annoyed with me because they think I sound like I know everything just because I figured out one aspect of life).

Sandvicheater · 2022-03-07T19:29:52+00:00

OP forgot to mention he's above average and cute in sexual market value lol

Rick-Dastardly · 2022-03-07T19:45:51+00:00

Utter nonsense.

Stop being such a spineless weasel.

2022-03-07T19:52:50+00:00

People should learn to play an instrument because they enjoy music, not because they want to get laid.

If you want to get laid, be yourself, do things you truly enjoy and work hard to become the best version of yourself.

This is bad advice for kids trying to have more sex, and it will only lead to frustrations and resentment.

DeJuanBallard · 2022-03-07T20:02:06+00:00

How does it not bother you that you are changing entire parts of your life just to get pussy from shallow girls? This is simping to a new extreme.

ZOOOOOOOOOLLL · 2022-03-07T20:05:01+00:00

How old are you?

bseggs · 2022-03-07T20:06:55+00:00

Lead singer in a band here, i also sing and play piano solo some of the time.

On more than half of the occasions I’ve ever gotten laid I would attribute to my musical abilities. Not sure if its the confidence it projects or the entertainment factor or whatever. Needless to say, it certainly can work.

EDIT: This is in no way the original reason I play music lol. Been musically active from a very young age.

punkisart · 2022-03-07T20:33:38+00:00

I've been playing drums for 2 years and really wanna join a band.

Mysterious_Rhubarb67 · 2022-03-07T20:38:06+00:00

Cool man! What kind of music do you play??

Lifedeather · 2022-03-07T20:41:23+00:00

Can’t wait to bust out my year 1 guitar skills and wow the ladies man 👨

ItalianStallion24ify · 2022-03-07T21:19:05+00:00

Good thing I’m a guitar player. Except doing some re-learning to do since it’s been forever for me lol!!

rwalsh138 · 2022-03-07T21:57:48+00:00

I played drums in a bad for about 5 years and I have only gotten laid maybe twice from women at the shows.

Bd7 · 2022-03-07T23:38:55+00:00

Played oboe and clarinet with braces from age 10-18, can verify did get laid. Can also verify that did not help.

lefthandedaf · 2022-03-08T00:11:24+00:00

It helps but it’s no magic pill, unfortunately. Unless your band is successful on some decent level.

2022-03-08T00:14:47+00:00

This is a lie.

inthebackground89 · 2022-03-08T00:27:41+00:00

you must be a teenager

pistachio02 · 2022-03-08T01:12:58+00:00

In my opinion as soon i started making money girls were more attracted to me

millhows · 2022-03-08T01:17:24+00:00

What are you twenty-two? That’s good on you, broham. This doesn’t work forever so enjoy it while ya’ can.

swhatrulookinat · 2022-03-08T01:38:59+00:00

It helps. Thats it.

MauPow · 2022-03-08T01:54:11+00:00

I've been playing guitar for 27 years and it's not gotten me laid once, I'm pretty damn good too

ComputerScienceGod · 2022-03-08T02:06:21+00:00

You should never get into a hobby just because you think it'll make other people like you more. Do it because you love it. Don't pretend to be someone you aren't.

Night_Hawk1 · 2022-03-08T02:25:35+00:00

This is the scoped in real life example of become a leader in a specific social circle. This also works for show value potential. Girls wanna get ion the ground floor.

leafhog · 2022-03-08T02:40:30+00:00

I remember a cartoon of different band members.

The drummer had a girl. The singer had two girls. The bassist was surrounded by girls. The guitarist was surrounded by guitars.

engitect · 2022-03-08T03:39:31+00:00

Isn't it saying like, go to a Salsa class and you'll get a date?

2022-03-08T03:44:25+00:00

This works if you follow rules 1 and 2.

2022-03-08T04:44:01+00:00

I cant even keep the beat to a metronome. Yeah, im screwed.

drakeinmycar · 2022-03-08T04:50:32+00:00

Nah it won’t lol trust me

human8ure · 2022-03-08T06:18:25+00:00

I can attest that being in a post-rock band has significantly hindered my dating success.

tehrealdirtydan · 2022-03-08T10:29:14+00:00

Lol ive played for 15-16 years and have gotten any from it but it certainly makes you much more interesting and mysterious

Chicagoj1563 · 2022-03-08T13:30:03+00:00

I've been a musician for many years and yes it can be highly attractive to women, but that depends on a few things.

If you are in a band that no one cares about, where most people see the band as ambient music in the background or just another band, then its probably not going to make that much of a difference. However, even that is better than not being a musician. And if a guy has game he will know how to convey all the right things. Be passionate, be on your own path, etc.. Being in a band is about following your passions. So, its all upside and women will find it attractive if you care about it enough.

On the flip side, if you are in a band where people talk about you when you're not around and you get a reputation for being in a popular band or being a talented musician, than you get the rock star treatment. You still have to follow up, but I've literally had girls approach me one after another, hot ones, right after performing. It all depends on the venue, your own talent, and how people perceive you. Social proof is very powerful.

But, being a musician is a great thing for many areas in life. Any guy who wants to be attractive to women should be on his own path cultivating his talents. And music is one of the best things you can do in that regard. Nothing else really compares since you perform on stage with people coming to see you play. It's hard to do that with other things. But truth is, if you're not a musician find other areas that interest you. Follow them. You will get similar results most likely. Think of public speaking, riding motorcycles, etc...

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	552
Comments	152
Date	March 7, 2022 8:01 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/t8k97z/learn_to_play_an_instrument_or_join_a_band_and_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1265163 https://theredarchive.com/post/1265163

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