Wow...just wow

border-box · 2015-03-25T16:23:37+00:00

This infuriates me.

I grew up with a lot of domestic violence in my life. My mother was the abuser. Everytime the cops came, it was my dad that had to spend the night in jail or spend the night in a hotel, never my mother.

I distinctly remember one day, coming home from school. The cops were already there, so I rushed inside. She had sliced open his forehead with a scissors, knocked out 3 of his teeth, and pulled out several clumps of his hair. He was so bloody. There wasn't even a mark on her. My dad was the one hauled away. My dad was the one I didn't see for nearly 3 days. My dad...

I've confided in some people that I grew up in an abusive home. They always say their so sorry my dad hurt me. They always use masculine pronouns.

No. Just no. My father is an amazing man, who never, in the 15 years the situation was volatile, ever raised a hand to my mother. Not even to defend himself. He wouldn't even shield her attacks, in fear of it falling back on him legally.

Just so much bullshit.

harryballsagna · 2015-03-25T12:09:09+00:00

-Men's helpline?

-Hello? My wife has been hitting me a lot tonight. I've locked myself in the bathroom.

-Sir, are you worried you may strike your wife? You sound upset.

-No. She's being very violent. She said she wanted to kill me.

-Sir, you sound very angry. Calm down. Violence doesn't solve anything.

-She's kicking the door in! Help!

-Don't you hit her!

MulhollandDrive · 2015-03-25T08:25:09+00:00

this is so close to satire that it's sad

angryknowitall · 2015-03-25T06:18:20+00:00

This has just made me violent because I'm a man

CrustythePrawn · 2015-03-25T05:53:24+00:00

Further relevant info at http://www.fighting4fair.com/uncategorized/addressing-anti-male-bias-by-an-australian-state-government-department/

DevilishRogue · 2015-03-25T10:33:47+00:00

Is anyone else tempted to ring the hotline and say "Yeah, I'm really interested in becoming violent and abusive, how can you help me?"

deadfallpro · 2015-03-25T17:00:49+00:00

I was a cop for years and can attest, through countless personal experiences, that domestic violence is easily a 50/50 split between men and women being the aggressor. In fact, given that most men won't report it, I'd say there are probably arguments that over 50% of abusers are women.

One case in particular, I arrived and the guy was an ex-con. He wouldn't say a word to me and there was evidence he'd hit his wife. He went to jail. During trial, it came out that the reason he hit her, was that she'd just broken a shovel handle over his head. He was a bad-ass ex-con and didnt want to seem like a bitch, by speaking to police.

There is a dangerous double standard to the entire domestic violence situation. Men, get over your ego and report it.

TL;DR: Women beat men just as often, if not more.

MattBD · 2015-03-25T13:13:05+00:00

I don't see any reason why they have to be gender-specific. Why can't there just be a victim's helpline and an abuser's helpline?

dragonsandgoblins · 2015-03-25T10:50:01+00:00

I actually wrote an article inspired by this exact webpage in 2013 that was published by http://rightnow.org.au/

Or at least it was published for about 4 hours before they pulled it. I'll copy paste it here because people may as well read it:

This webpage, hosted by the Government of Western Australia Department for Child Protection, contains two short paragraphs describing the domestic helpline services provided by this state government. The women's helpline offers a range of services for women experiencing domestic violence. The men's helpline on the other hand is more singularly focused, only offering counselling, and only for "men who are concerned about becoming violent or abusive".

The Government of WA does not offer a helpline service to male victims, instead assuming that women are the only victims and that men will always be the perpetrators. This is despite a growing body of evidence that males do suffer from domestic and family violence in significant numbers. For example, the Personal Safety Survey (2006) by the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) found that, 780,500 women and 325,700 men aged 15 years and over experienced violence from a current or previous partner in the last twenty years. In other words, 29.4 per cent of victims who suffered domestic violence were men. 92.5 per cent (301,400) of these male victims suffered this violence at the hands of a female partner.

The Publications and Resources webpage from the Government of WA provides domestic violence resources aimed at the general public and they are as gendered as the helpline services. Out of the “Freedom From Fear” resources, three fact sheets and one booklet are targeted at the violent party and, excluding the fact sheet “How do I know if I’m abusive?”, they all use gendered language that exclusively refers to the violent party as male and the victim as female. All of them bear subtitles describing themselves as being "for men who want to change", with no reference to women who may want to do the same. The fact sheet aimed at victims also uses the same gendered language.

WA isn't alone. For example, NSW Legal Aid offers a Domestic Violence Practitioner Service and a Women's Domestic Violence Court Advocacy Program which aid women and children who are victims in legal matters such as getting Apprehended Domestic Violence Orders (ADVOs) and victims’ compensation. The NSW Government Family & Community Services Staying Home Leaving Violence program "...aims to prevent homelessness by working with the Police to remove the perpetrator from the family home so that women and children can remain safely where they are." If the NSW Government offers similar programs specialising in male victims, I was unable to find them.

The federal government also discriminates against male victims. The National Plan to Reduce Violence against Women and their Children (The National Plan) paints a pitiful picture of the federal stance on male victims. Along with use of gender biased language The National Plan has seen the Commonwealth commit $86 million to support women and children who are victims and only $0.75 million to male victims. This discrepancy in funding is justified through the use of misleading statistics from the ABS Personal Safety Survey. The section of the page that discusses male victims provides statistics that only 4.4 per cent (21,200) of men who were physically assaulted in the 12 months prior to the survey were assaulted by a current/previous partner compared with 31 per cent (73,800) of women who were physically assaulted. This is misleading because it doesn't compare the quantity of male victims to female victims – instead it compares what percentage of all assaults against men were domestic violence to what percentage of all assaults against women were. Looking at just these numbers – 21,200 male and 73,800 female victims – the divide in funding is twenty-five times greater than the divide in victims. The National Plan claims only "a small proportion of men are victims", yet the ABS survey shows that they are roughly a quarter of all domestic violence victims. Is that really such a minority as to warrant less than one per cent of the funding committed under The National Plan?

Our state and federal governments are perpetrators of gender discrimination. Those discriminated against are not only men, they are victims. Victims who are denied services and support they need based on their gender.

I apologise for the fact that some of the figures are out of date (for example I am pretty sure the funding disparity under the national plan has incresed since 2013), and any dead links. This is presented unaltered from when it was written in 2013.

Vergil387 · 2015-03-25T09:26:10+00:00

So say if the woman is the one interested in committing the violent act, I guess she'll be outta luck... no service for her!

AlexTheGiant · 2015-03-25T13:00:38+00:00

[permanently deleted]

919rider · 2015-03-25T14:17:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SweetSlowKiss · 2015-03-25T11:33:58+00:00

If this were reversed, it would start a shitnado. Twitter would be abuzz, instagram would be frothing, reddit would be posting this everywhere and Facebook friends would keep sharing it like it was going out of style.

ARedthorn · 2015-03-25T08:33:40+00:00

If be kinda curious to see...

Best case scenario: If you call the women's helpline, and as a man, they refer you to the men's line... Then you call the men's line, and as a victim they refer you to the women's line... And back and forth... I wonder how many times you could get ping-pinged before they even noticed.

slykethephoxenix · 2015-03-25T16:09:07+00:00

For those interested, I switched the genders around:

The Men’s Domestic Violence Helpline is a state wide 24 hour service. This service provides support and counselling for men experiencing family and domestic violence. This includes phone counselling, information and advice, referral to local advocacy and support services, liaison with police if necessary and support in escaping situations of family and domestic violence. The service can refer men to safe accommodation if required.

The Women’s Domestic Violence Helpline is a state wide 24 hour service. This service provides counselling for women who are concerned about becoming violent or abusive. The service can provide telephone counselling, information and referral to ongoing face to face services if required. Information and support is also available for women who have experienced family and domestic violence.

A good experiment would be to send this to a feminist who claims "equality". When she starts claiming "See! Men are treated better" or what ever, reveal that the website and the and the original text to her.

Website is found here: http://www.dcp.wa.gov.au/crisisandemergency/pages/domesticviolencehelplines.aspx

2015-03-25T19:12:47+00:00

When I was 10 I called the police on my extremely abusive feminist aunt who saw it as her duty to destroy my life for being male. They asked me where my father (the presumed abuser) was. When I told them he wasn't involved in bringing me up, they went into "move along, nothing to see here" mode and she got away with her crimes, just like Casey Anthony. Fuck feminism, fuck the police and don't fuck women.

CarbonBlob78 · 2015-03-25T17:57:54+00:00

everydaysexism

mknight1701 · 2015-03-25T19:09:18+00:00

When my wife hits me she says its in self defence. Self defence of what, my being there! P.s. For the record I'm not trying to humorous. This is my life.

2015-03-25T14:02:09+00:00

As a male who has been subjected physical and verbal abuse from my ex. FUCK THIS SHIT

2015-03-25T15:56:57+00:00

And this is why MGTOW

scanspeak · 2015-03-25T15:44:25+00:00

Gender should not even be mentioned. If a person is a victim of domestic violence there should be help and support. Period.

a_shootin_star · 2015-03-25T15:59:25+00:00

Western Australia in a nutshell.

There's an event next month regarding future funding to help women and children from domestic violence... nonsense.

flockingmongoose · 2015-03-25T14:31:32+00:00

I hate how when people think if domestic abuse, they only think of the woman being abused. Men get abused just as much, it just doesn't get spoken about.

teamtebow · 2015-03-25T14:31:14+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Sys_init · 2015-03-25T12:44:52+00:00

i think this picture on the side says it all

http://i.gyazo.com/37f175ca4fad2f26f556efb343f9af91.png

Pimpin_Soi6 · 2015-03-25T23:30:06+00:00

Holy shit. I just called the number for the mens helpline. I asked exactly how concerned should I be about getting violent. I got an mmkay. I said ok the real reason I am calling is because I am really disgusted by the wording on your website and can I please speak to your superior. I got an mmmkay no I am the only one you can speak to. I said that is not good enough I need to speak to someone who can address the gender bias on your site. I got just a mmmkay. I said based on your use of mmmkay you got your degree from watching southpark can I please speak to a real person.

"ok now you are being abusive and I am ending this call" click

(not joking about the mmmkay. Like literally mmmkay)

2015-03-25T17:36:08+00:00

Its part of the whole modern mythology that men are beaters and women are beatees. This in spite of the fact that as more men come forward, it is looking like the reality is men and women both suffer an equal amount of domestic abuse at the hands of their SOs.

pookabot · 2015-03-25T21:35:49+00:00

This right here is exactly why I'm subbed here. I'm a woman who has been in an abusive relationship. As I was getting help for it, I couldn't help but notice stuff like this. I just kept asking, "What about the men like me?". It made me feel sick to my stomach when I looked more into it and heard so many stories about men just like me who had nowhere or no one to turn to after having been abused. This is disgusting and I don't know how as a society people don't feel terrible knowing that it is going on. They were all so willing to help me, but my male counterparts? Nothing. All of my sympathy goes out to you guys.

ashleab · 2015-03-26T00:13:41+00:00

I am disgusted by my country right now...

elementell · 2015-03-26T03:23:46+00:00

I don't know if this has been posted, but... http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1fyeh3/what_kind_of_bullshit_is_this/
is about 5 posts below this one on the top of all time list, and was posted a year ago.

regeya · 2015-03-25T15:17:48+00:00

Just as a heads-up, in case anyone hasn't seen it, this showed up in /r/all. I'm not a staunch Men's Rights type, just someone who wants a nice, balanced approach to rights for all.

Having said that, this sort of thing drives me up the wall. On the one hand, yes, I think we need to have outreach to abusers! On the other, to pretend that domestic abuse is a one-sided issue gives in to the Women Are Wonderful effect.

Worse, there are feminists out there who honestly believe that the only men who are abused are themselves abusers (but don't you dare blame the victim when the victim is a woman!)

My mom worked for a legal office for a while, and worked as a secretary for a counselor for a while, and the number of men who would come in to get legal help only to be turned away, and the number of men who would go in for private counseling and refuse when the counselor said, hey, you have to get away from her and press charges, was heartbreaking. That patriarchy the ladies say they want to smash? Well, it keeps male victims silenced, too; we're just supposed to "do something" about it, "man up" if you will...so long as the "do something" doesn't involve responding in kind, because that's abuse!

I'm hopeful that we're seeing a change on the horizon. The old guard feminists are starting to be seen as kind of shitty people (see: 70s views on sexuality such as forced lesbianism and/or shitty attitudes on trans issues) and are being turned out in favor of women who are more forgiving; unfortunately, their heads are still being filled with dated materials on how society works.

50PercentLies · 2015-03-25T05:50:51+00:00

I have yet to be this disgusted.

Rooi_Aap · 2015-03-25T13:44:48+00:00

This reminds me of a local(South Africa) talk radio presenter who referred to the Department of Women, Children and Disabled affairs, as the "department of everybody except men".

whoatethekidsthen · 2015-03-26T00:53:55+00:00

"help, my wife is abusing me."

"Sir, don't waste our time. Call back only if you're about to become violent yourself."

JojenReed2 · 2015-07-26T18:02:08+00:00

Well, this just opened my eyes.

Unskilledandaware · 2015-08-26T11:10:20+00:00

This needs to stop. men shoul be the secretaries pulling the strings.

Introvariant · 2015-03-25T15:56:05+00:00

I was expecting this to be another "look guys they say 'women' instead of 'people'" posts.

This, though. This is actually hilariously pathetic.

angelxe1 · 2015-03-25T16:50:34+00:00

That's is total BS.

2015-03-25T18:22:35+00:00

Stupid. Fucking. Duluth Model.

Doulich · 2015-03-25T20:10:58+00:00

ok I feel deja vu hasn't this been reposted like 5 times?

2015-03-26T02:08:35+00:00

And here's how it should be worded:

If you believe you or anyone under your care are at imminent risk of harm, dial 000.

If you believe you may become an imminent risk to yourself or others, dial 000.

If you or anyone under your care has experienced harm, or you believe you will experience harm, call this number. We have both male and female operators that you can talk to and advise you on how to get help, who to talk to, how to get legal advice and other practical and emotional aid. This service is open to both men and women of any age or sexual preference without prejudice or judgement.

If you believe that you are experiencing anger, and you have in the past or may in the future become violent, we can offer you advice and aid. We have both male and female operators that you can talk to and advise you on how to remain calm and 'cool off', get help, who to talk to, how to get legal advice and other practical and emotional aid. This service is open to both men and women of any age or sexual preference without prejudice or judgement.

2015-03-25T13:55:00+00:00

THIS is what feminism looks like.

2015-03-25T14:47:48+00:00

talk about presumptuous ignorant twattery.

hedgecore77 · 2015-03-25T14:08:51+00:00

Keep reading. It also offers services to men who experience domestic violence.

Lots42 · 2015-03-25T14:37:40+00:00

Get your shit together, Australia

Riftshade · 2015-03-25T13:05:42+00:00

I face palmed so hard,..why did it have to be my state. ughhh.

nomosolo · 2015-03-25T14:33:58+00:00

I'm not even a "mens rights activist" or whatever, but that's pretty effed up.

theoriginalauthor · 2015-03-25T14:22:07+00:00

"The seeming ease with which orders of protection are issued has been exacerbated by divorce gamesmanship. Prior to the use of orders of protection in domestic violence settings, individuals who wanted their spouses out of the house would have to file for divorce first and then file a motion to vacate the home. This was a costly and lengthy process. Today very few individuals file motions to vacate in Massachusetts. Instead, divorce attorneys in that state describe restraining orders as a far more expedient means to get spouses out of marital homes and thus, a new popular weapon to gain the upper hand in bitter divorces and custody disputes.

The result of all these contributing factors (the crowded court systems, the "better safe than sorry" caution of judges, and the divorce gamesmanship) is that innocent individuals who did not commit an act of abuse are nevertheless subject to orders of protection. It is probably impossible to know exactly what percentage of the total number of orders of protection is meritless, but at a minimum, the anecdotal evidence reveals that there are enough instances to be concerned. The particular consideration then for the Scarlet Letter proposal is that it aggravates this situation by now publicly mislabeling certain innocent individuals as batterers."

CHIU, E. M. (2010). That Guy's a Batterer!: A Scarlet Letter Approach to Domestic Violence in the Information Age. Family Law Quarterly, 44(2), 255.

SynesthesiaBruh · 2015-03-25T14:30:48+00:00

One of these things is not like the other

bear_sausage · 2015-03-25T14:51:47+00:00

Sad.

2015-03-25T15:43:40+00:00

I'm so angry I could beat my wife!

magicx50 · 2015-03-25T17:06:23+00:00

Did anyone read the last line?

LaughingatFatties · 2015-03-25T16:38:53+00:00

It also says that hotline will also help men who experience domestic violence...... Keep reading the paragraph

freenarative · 2015-03-25T15:20:51+00:00

Are you fucking kidding me. This is why we can't get the help we need when we need it!

paintypainterson · 2015-03-25T13:36:50+00:00

Wow...just wow. Well said.

makeswordcloudsagain · 2015-03-25T13:22:52+00:00

Here is a word cloud of all of the comments in this thread: http://i.imgur.com/6pjKqu8.png
^source ^code ^| ^contact ^developer ^| ^faq

whichdid · 2015-03-25T18:40:07+00:00

http://img.pandawhale.com/post-22398-Bubbles-Somethings-Fucky-gif-I-ELhv.gif

Masturbulence · 2015-03-25T19:53:34+00:00

Such is life.

MRMRising · 2015-03-25T21:02:57+00:00

Why am I not surprised to see this?

2015-03-25T21:09:31+00:00

Men's helpline?
Sir, how may I help you?
Your bigoted bullshit makes me want to become violent or abusive just to spite you. Click!

jordan628mor · 2015-03-25T22:57:52+00:00

This is all kinds of messed up

AppropriateTouching · 2015-03-25T22:58:54+00:00

This is disgusting. If you keep telling someone they're a criminal they might just become one since they have no other recourse. Immediately blaming someone is the quickest way to get them to not listen to you. Also worth noting the lack of support for men in this area negatively effects a family structure and especially any children involved. Truly disheartening.

2015-03-25T23:40:18+00:00

This has been posted many times in many places, including here. At no point does it baffle me any less. This is some bullshit.

2015-03-25T23:58:42+00:00

This is...like, the third time I've seen this posted here. Pretty sure it's the same picture, too.

2015-03-26T04:29:37+00:00

Figures.

littlebeach · 2015-05-06T03:55:18+00:00

Relevant petition on "change.org" https://www.change.org/p/the-attorney-general-of-australia-senator-the-hon-george-brandis-qc-the-prime-minister-of-australia-the-hon-tony-abbott-mp-to-ensure-that-the-role-of-sex-discrimination-commissioner-at-the-australian-human-rights-commission-is-performed-in-an-unbiase

Doventanzer · 2015-06-11T07:07:25+00:00

Still there :/

InBaggingArea · 2015-03-25T10:25:26+00:00

Wow.... Just wow.

thegr8b8m8 · 2015-03-25T12:06:58+00:00

It's been this way for a long time guys we just now started pointing it out. That's kind of why we are here?

vagabond01 · 2015-03-25T07:10:26+00:00

I've seen this image posted at least once a week

dzamir · 2015-03-25T08:33:00+00:00

NEEDS MORE JPEG.

Seriously, this is Facebook worthy, at least post a decent screenshot and a link to the page.

TheHadMatter · 2015-03-25T14:24:58+00:00

nothing will be done by anyone.

Clockburn · 2015-03-25T13:36:18+00:00

Does this seriously bother you guys? I'm honestly curious not trying to be rude.

whatisthisicantodd · 2015-03-25T15:09:44+00:00

DID YOU EVEN READ THE LAST LINE BEFORE COMMENTING ANGRILY

Mozeeon · 2015-03-25T15:34:31+00:00

Literally just finish reading that paragraph. It also offers support for men experiencing spousal abuse. Unrustle your jimmies people.

Omnipraetor · 2015-03-25T18:33:22+00:00

This is probably the third time I've seen this image or similar these last few weeks. I can't remember if it's the same website. If not then we have an urgent emergency. If not, then we need to re-evaluate our post policy

Erochimaru · 2015-03-25T15:52:07+00:00

DID ANYONE READ THE FULL PARAGRAPH?

It says that help is also provided for male victims of domestic violence!!!!

They are just emphasising female victims because ~~they are the majority of victims of domestic violence.~~ because people are still sadly trapped in the old thinking that women can't possibly harm any man and men don't need any support or help because of that.

Edit2:

They should have put the victims notice before the feeling violent one, and add the same "i'm feeling violent" notice to the female paragraph. Equality for all

Edit4:

So you are all enjoying whining here, why don't you try to change this misconception of men being the only possible abusers? Write the site and change it, or i'll do it, just give me the source.

~~Also why am i getting downvoted? I am just addressing the paragraph issue, not that men aren't getting taken serious as victims, that's a different story to which i haven't said anything.~~

I am clearly for men's and women's rights. And ofc this case is a very good example of how men are still judged unfairly. never argued about this

cmilliorn · 2015-03-25T14:30:06+00:00

This is a real sub? In my history with domestic violence, I have seen a handful of men who are victims. They exist, it's real. However, they have access to all the same establishments women do. We give them the same information, its the law. Now, the majority of the assaults I see are male perpetrated and all of the serious injury assaults are male perpetrated. Women are victimized far more, it's a fact, men are more likely to be violent. Its how things are.

Alephz · 2015-03-25T14:48:14+00:00

So, are all of you ignoring the rest of the text in that picture or what?

"Information and support is also available for men who have experienced family and domestic violence."

logic11 · 2015-03-25T16:03:04+00:00

[permanently deleted]

newmansg · 2015-03-25T11:59:51+00:00

This whole sub should come to terms with reality.

You guys are living a fabricated world.

Stop making shit up in your head.

wonderwaffle407 · 2015-03-25T14:36:12+00:00

How many cases are there of women abusing men vs men abusing women? I get the former does happen but does it require a 24 hour hotline?

InBaggingArea · 2015-03-25T10:33:51+00:00

Last updated 21 October 2013.

What does it look like now?

As i recall, this was posted before, representations were made to the government body responsible, and they changed it. I could be wrong.

"Wow...just wow" tells us nothing about the content of the post and diminishes our freedom to choose for ourselves whether it's worth looking at. It's the equivalent of "everybody stop what you're doing and look at this because I think it's amazing". I normally ignore posts with such childish and unhelpful titles.

konoplya · 2015-03-25T09:11:45+00:00

one word: australia

jtj-H · 2015-03-25T08:44:57+00:00

the fucking repostiest of reposts

niv85 · 2015-03-25T11:36:34+00:00

"Wow...just wow" Men's rights is gonna start using that pussy fake outrage shit now? This entire thread could be on a feminist blog and no one reading the comments would know the difference

IHeartSoup · 2015-03-25T11:24:55+00:00

yhelothere · 2015-03-25T16:22:04+00:00

If you get hit by a woman you are a pussy. God gave you more strength for a reason.

cjrjcjdkd · 2015-03-25T15:42:45+00:00

Jew run government. Wake up. Their still mad at the Romans.

SiehsPositiv · 2015-03-26T00:13:22+00:00

But thats just stats. Woman don't commit these things as often. (still very unfortunate formulation)

mitchel_dragon · 2015-03-25T15:00:56+00:00

I'm a man, this doesn't bother me. I would never even look at a website like this because I'll never be a victim. Is OP a 4 foot 12 year old or something?

Wow...just wow

Comments

everydaysexism

DID ANYONE READ THE FULL PARAGRAPH?

It says that help is also provided for male victims of domestic violence!!!!

I SEE YOU BELIEVE YOUR COMMENT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN EVERYONE ELSE'S

Title	Wow...just wow
Author	thethirdchimp
Upvotes	7019
Comments	451
Date	March 25, 2015 5:21 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/3081g1/wowjust_wow/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/wowjust-wow.984937 https://theredarchive.com/post/984937