Is not being fat the best dating strategy for men?

grandmapurp · 2021-09-26T02:50:43+00:00

It's not the "best dating strategy" it's just a basic first step of getting your shit together and being healthy and attractive.

Demasii · 2021-09-26T01:15:29+00:00

Lift weights (AKA be fit in general) is the most undisputed advice from TRP.

throwawayblue900ss · 2021-09-26T13:15:03+00:00

No, no, no, no, no! This is all wrong!

The best dating strategy for men is to be Chad.

Just stop not being Chad. Losers.

rivetcitymayor · 2021-09-26T00:52:33+00:00

Men can get away with being chubby but not obese

over348 · 2021-09-26T06:06:13+00:00

Not being short is the best dating strategy for men

WilliamWyattD · 2021-09-26T05:10:16+00:00

This makes sense. In today's culture, the value of physical appearance is increasingly greater relative to other factors that contribute to attractiveness. Weight loss is probably the #1 way for either men or women to improve physical appearance.

But because dating is increasingly about erotic desire, the female advantage in sexual leverage is at an all time high. Thus men need to improve more than women, ergo weight loss is more important for men than women.

Finally, there is the more controversial idea that due to gender dimorphism, fat on men is generally less attractive than fat on women. This is a bit more complex than that, as perhaps men with a strong frame and decent underlying muscle mass suffer less than women from that first bit of fat. And the attractiveness of both genders essentially goes to zero given enough fat.

idrinkapplejuice42 · 2021-09-26T02:30:43+00:00

Lol dont be fat and youve crossed one requirement out of like 100 that women have for you. Also women wont like you if youre too skinny either.

purplepilldthrowaway · 2021-09-26T00:50:19+00:00

Yes, if you're obese, then losing weight will definitely be your best option. After that you still have to meet girls but you'll have many factors more options than when you were obese. Check out Greg Doucette's youtube channel - especially his videos from last year and earlier - for quality weight loss advice. There's a right and a wrong way to lose weight.

houstongradengineer · 2021-09-26T03:19:08+00:00

Just to give a quick and pithy answer to your title:

A best dating strategy for any person of any gender includes a lot more than one specific component. Being physically healthy, which is more than just being not fat, is certainly one part of that strategy. There are also emotional components, communications components, vetting components. All are kinda equally important.

Z0mbs · 2021-09-26T13:45:35+00:00

Fat woman = can still get dates

Fat man = 90% time can't

MediocreSupermarket5 · 2021-09-26T16:11:39+00:00

Yes.

Women are absolute hypocrites when it comes to body positivity. I know from experience cause I used to have an athletic build and now I am fat.

Dagenius1 · 2021-09-26T01:58:16+00:00

First thing, fat girls beat fat guys in dating and causal sex. Fat guys beat fat girls in marriage.

To the question, yes as a man get in as good a shape as you can reasonably be in. You will do much better with ladies. You don’t have to be in fitness model or athlete shape, unless that’s your job. Just find out what your workout is and do it 3/5 times a week and eat well. After a few months you will feel better and get noticed in a positive way. Your confidence will be the biggest difference in your dating efforts.

acornfroggie · 2021-09-26T02:02:21+00:00

>I have never dated, had a girlfriend, or even kissed.

Based.

Mark_Freed · 2021-09-26T04:15:55+00:00

I realized this too late. I want this information to go mainstream, most men seem to underestimate the importance of looks. They stay complacent and excuse their laziness. It should be part of movies and books that women care about the guy being fit and maybe even show a guy who was rejected soley because she didn't feel the physical attraction. Then fat guys might find the motivation to make changes in their lifestyle.

It's ok to be complacent, be overweight as long as you understand exactly what you are getting yourself into. Still I think chubby guys have a better chance than chubby girls. The reason chubby girls seem to do so well is because of the market imbalance, with so many men chasing after few women.

When it comes to the highly educated, rich, handsome guys segment you'll see how badly chubby girls struggle.

Playful_Art_5364 · 2021-09-26T02:01:09+00:00

Having a decent body basically is a cheat code.

Literally went from 0 Attention to being openly hit on.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-09-26T04:13:53+00:00

That's part of it but the real best dating strategy is being attractive in multiple ways. Its not just the looks or just the personality or just the money. You can compensate with the other two if you're lacking in one of these things.

However I'd say not being fat is the best strategy for women.

Pannecookers4 · 2021-09-26T02:44:01+00:00

I wouldn't say the best, but the one that has the most impact for the amount of effort/time it takes that is reasonably achievable.

Glarkin42 · 2021-09-26T03:41:02+00:00

It's necessary but not sufficient.

ThisBoringLife · 2021-09-26T05:30:20+00:00

For the physical side, yeah.

I mean, I don't see too many ladies walking around downtown with fat boyfriends/husbands.

However, it's not the only thing (to exaggerate, you could drop 100 pounds right now, and you still won't have women throwing themselves on you). Having a degree of confidence to approach and talk to them helps.

I hear losing weight helps with the confidence, so maybe it is the best.

lemon-fiend · 2021-09-26T06:33:44+00:00

It’s the best dating strategy for everyone. We all like fit people.

Pilling_it · 2021-09-26T08:17:21+00:00

Looks, money, status.

You can compensate one with the other two, but shouldn't bother if you're lacking in two areas. As for being fat, no it's not attractive. The only build that see success that isn't the classical ripped is the bear look, and even then it requires mass.

So lift.

ex_red_black_piller · 2021-09-26T10:42:19+00:00

Being ridiculously extroverted will get you much much farther.

It doesn't matter what you're saying, just be the center of attention.

You will still be defeated by the Chad sitting quietly in the corner, but you will beat all the others.

iamthemovie1992 · 2021-09-26T13:06:29+00:00

I think it’s just the default. No, you don’t have to get a body like Athlean-X, but getting to a decent weight with some definition is sort of default.

Devourer_of_felines · 2021-09-26T14:17:40+00:00

It’s not a dating strategy; it’s step 1 of taking care of yourself as an adult.

Being fat doesn’t doom you to being celibate; you just have to cultivate a more charismatic personality

J-MAMA · 2021-09-26T15:20:33+00:00

Not being fat is the best dating "strategy" for everyone.

passepar2t · 2021-09-26T16:34:05+00:00

It's not a strategy, it's the bare minimum.

bordstol · 2021-09-26T20:22:18+00:00

Improving your looks is the most effective dating strategy for both men and women. That's not to say personality isn't also important. Also please don't be 'quickly' working on it. The only thing that works is slow and steady.

Insidious-Sid · 2021-09-26T21:41:14+00:00

Men don't have advantages. We have a list of disadvantages. Those are.

Fat
Broke
Poorly dressed, unkempt, no fashion
Lack of social prowess, cool friends
Lack of "social coolness" (new toys, travel, interesting things, SHINY!)
Undesirable living conditions (cheap rental unit, roomies, parents)
Short
Facial asymmetry
Really small dick

You can certainly change any of the things you can change.

But, for men, being thin isn't an advantage per se. But if you go from fat to thin, you are now just an average guy competing with all other average men.

Look, I think your weight loss goals are commendable. But realise that losing weight won't be a panacea of sexual success.

When you lose the weight, you haven't won. But, you've earned a ticket back into the mating arena. And then a whole other list of liabilities and expectations faces you.

My advice: work on other aspects of your life WHILE losing the weight.

Women's expectations BEGIN (not end) at "not being fat".Sorry, Sid only delivers brutal honesty.

You're welcome.

Oh, and when you do succeed with your transformation, destroy all evidence of your former self. If she sees your "before" pictures she will dump you.

yvaN_ehT_nioJ · 2021-09-27T03:58:33+00:00

I swear, the people saying being fat isn't the dating-killer it is need to put on 40 or 50 pounds of fat and report back.

xDoctrineoftheMeanx · 2021-09-26T01:32:02+00:00

You definitely need to lose that weight. Cutting sugar out of your diet is the first and most important step.

And you don’t want to just not be fat, you want to be as fit as you can be.

Diet and cardio are critically important. There are a LOT of subs that can help support your health journey.

cornfedduckman · 2021-09-26T06:56:03+00:00

I thought it was just being rich? Enough wealth can melt away all other deficiencies.

daddysgotanew · 2021-09-26T03:20:07+00:00

No. It’s having a good looking face, social status, great personality, height, and then being in shape is a distant fifth.

Cuntwaffe2 · 2021-09-26T00:56:34+00:00

Yes.

theactionisthejuice_ · 2021-09-26T01:52:11+00:00

You'll feel a lot better, so you shouldn't definitely do it, but I'm going to be totally real with you, you're probably going to have loose skin, so start saving for surgery now if that's something you're going to want to do.

When I lost about 80 lbs, I ended up about like this with no loose skin over my pecs. My stomach isn't quite as bad either. Like I said, I have no regrets. I'm extremely happy I lost the weight and got in better shape, but the loose skin has been a disappointment nonetheless.

cockridercum · 2021-09-26T09:18:42+00:00

Looks don’t matter to women, when you are a guy, just have money and you will get ladies. Being ripped and tall helps of course but money is the essential part. Dating when your a guy is like going to a grocery store, but a very expensive one.

2021-09-26T01:00:32+00:00

Not being fat won't solve all your problems. Most fat guys can at least get kissed by 29. You also likely have some social issues as well to work through. I suggest having a healthy social life while you are losing weight so you actually know a lot of women. And you might have to deal with loose skin.

JumboJetz · 2021-09-26T05:40:59+00:00

Being overly skinny has been terrible for me. Although yes, it is definitely preferable to being fat.

Obese is still bottom of the barrel. A dad bod is better than scrawny though I think.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-09-26T07:29:05+00:00

THE best? No, I mean it certainly helps and if there's nothing wrong with you there's no excuse for being fat or obese but taking care of your body is just step one lol

Rosifer433d · 2021-09-26T07:36:36+00:00

well, dude, you are not going to be getting a 110lbs woman, unless you either convert those 270 lbs to 270 lbs at 10-12% body fat or something, or you could always win the jackpot.

Anyway, it's good that you are taking measures to improve your health and to attain the body that you wish to attain. You don't have to look like Jean-Claude Van Damme in Kickboxer to become more attractive in the eyes of many women, but working on yourself and not expecting a 18 year old Alessandra Ambrosio will do wonders to your love life, yes.

gojo_satarou · 2021-09-26T08:17:39+00:00

Bro because Men are desperate for love and sex so they're willing to shatter their standards and date an ugly girl or a fat girl, on the same side, Fat Women and Average looking girls have a 7/10 guy at the minimum to date them.

Just workout, get a good body and be a better version of yourself and date a good looking girl, a lot of bluepilled Men think that they're gonna get a girl even being fat. That's completely illogical

The-Wizard-of-Oz- · 2021-09-26T08:45:46+00:00

Not being short, fat, poor, socially retarded, Etc Etc Etc.

M3taBuster · 2021-09-26T09:07:27+00:00

I used to be obese, and now I am thin and actually pretty fit. Although women do generally treat me slightly better now, and I've had a few girls crush on/flirt with me, it has resulted in zero measurable changes in my love life. I never had a girlfriend before, and I still don't.

So at the very least, not being fat alone isn't enough. I almost have a six pack and I'm still in exactly the same boat as you.

ErrendeEbecee · 2021-09-26T09:08:36+00:00

Is finishing high school the best job searching strategy for people?

michael1962-01 · 2021-09-26T09:13:00+00:00

I've allways been big tall and also fat during bulking.

Been never without a woman in my bed or sexless since i was 16y arround.

I am 6'2.5" 275lbs at 18% bodyfat at the times womes approach me.

I bulk up to 440 lbs while power lifting.

Even at 400 lbs i was approached - but from gold diggers.

I am with a HB10 3 decades younger than me in her prime. She is rich and intelligent has a own trust fund so she has not to work.

We both are high libido.

She initiates daily.

So?

Concentrate on lifting. Go on a carnivore diet. Skip sugars and carbs.

Get a life outside of chasing pussy. They'll approach you from a certain point on - you'll see behind the mask of the fems.

Flat_Plane_V8 · 2021-09-26T09:24:31+00:00

lol a lot of skinny fat men with below 25 BMI are virgins

Big_Dick_Capitalist · 2021-09-26T09:25:36+00:00

Nobody besides women in the bbw fetish can get away with being fat. Women can get away with the right fat distribution, men cannot regardless of distribution.

kaktusoljen · 2021-09-26T09:53:01+00:00

Being in great shape or even just in normal shape will greatly improve anyone's prospects.

Gari_305 · 2021-09-26T11:17:40+00:00

All you guys need to check out the emphasis on Body Game by Rom Wills in short ,get fit that's best for your own body

Awan-Zada · 2021-09-26T12:30:55+00:00

You're might still struggle because of your height even if you lose the weight. You should still loose the weight for the sake of your own health though.

Once you've lost the weight, you need to make sure you make enough money, probably have your own place, have a decent job, get a good haircut and wear good clothes. You might then get noticed by a landwhale twice as heavy as you.

asshole67throw · 2021-09-26T12:51:57+00:00

If you’re 270lbs something has gone wrong with your daily habits, because you are not physically or emotionally healthy, you’re using food as an escape to fill a void.

Work on fixing that, loose weight. Get down nearer the 200 mark and then you’ll start seeing yourself as attractive and you’ll become more confident,

The thing is it’ll just become a way of life - you’ll eat the same thing every day go to the gym routinely etc after a few months it’ll just be how you live, you’ll be content with it.

LLL3peat · 2021-09-26T13:14:15+00:00

You need to lose 100 pounds at least. Save up money so that when you get to that point, you can have skin removal surgery as well.

Weight loss brings you looking better, changes in your face (having a jaw line and not moon face is HUGE), you’ll take care of yourself more, and be more attractive.

Get to it! It’ll take awhile, but being morbidily obese isn’t helping your daring life.

CraptainToad · 2021-09-26T15:53:21+00:00

It's a prerequisite, not a strategy.

PopRevolutionary1475 · 2021-09-26T18:37:21+00:00

You can be fat. But, not to the point where you can't breathe or walk

midwestufohunter · 2021-09-26T20:53:26+00:00

No? Being rich is.

80_20 · 2021-09-27T10:01:00+00:00

As the fattest guy on PPD I can say with one hand I can count the number of times I been hit on in my life of 45 years.

SniXSniPe · 2021-09-28T21:00:02+00:00

Taking care of yourself physically should generally be more attractive to either sex.

You can't do anything about your height (well, you could...), but you can about your physique.

Mermaid28 · 2021-09-29T13:23:29+00:00

Why isn't hygiene discussed?

I've seen pretty women with bigger guys all the time.

But what you won't see, is a pretty girl with a guy who doesn't take care of himself.

Sloppy clothing, acne everywhere, oily hair, only bathes 2-4 times a week, etc.

Just gross.

drew8311 · 2021-09-26T03:12:04+00:00

What is the point of this post? Are you only going to lose weight if enough people give a "yes" answer?

neetykeeno · 2021-09-26T03:21:58+00:00

Why would even an asexual virgin who actively despises the thought of bumping their genitals with those of another person want to be fat? Jeez. If you're at the point of tying the need to be of healthy weight to the desire to get laid then there is something that went badly wrong in your thinking about body composition several steps upstream. You should go looking for where your thinking went wrong and correct it.

I have been various weights in my life... currently fat but I am grinding away at weight loss. I don't want casual sex or a LTR. Over that. Too old and too tired of men's bullshit. I still however want to experience less illness, be more able physically and mentally, and more comfortable and that means being with a certain weight and muscle range for body composition. Trust me when I say...you have a relationship to your body that you should respect whether or not you are getting sex

If you are asking this question, fix your thinking. Ask yourself about your relationship to your body...stop thinking your relationship to your body only becomes important when your body is looked at by people you want to fuck.

Is not being fat the best dating strategy for men?

Comments

THE FIRST ONE LOL

Title	Is not being fat the best dating strategy for men?
Author	tuckerton165
Upvotes	20
Comments	181
Date	September 25, 2021 6:32 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/pvcq7v/is_not_being_fat_the_best_dating_strategy_for_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-not-being-fat-the-best-dating-strategy-for-men.1074327 https://theredarchive.com/post/1074327