What men usually say when they approach you?

localmicrodosechamp · 2022-05-24T03:37:44+00:00

“Hey”

“Hey what’s up”

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

Lysa_Bell · 2022-05-24T06:52:12+00:00

I don't go out much these days and I'm older and fat and have a resting bitch face. The worst one when I was younger was a dude that sat next to me on a train and just instantly went "do you have a boyfriend?" When I told him no, I have a girlfriend he instantly went of a tirade with '"oh, but you are so cute. You only need the right man. You should give me a chance to change your mind!" Like. Wtf is wrong with you?

It's funny how guys seem to think that if you have a boyfriend you are the property to someone so they leave you alone but if you have a gf it's a challenge to change your mind. Get a grip.

Magnito-was-right · 2022-05-24T13:36:30+00:00

They pretend they know me from somewhere. We go back and forth trying to figure out where they know me from and say I probably just look like someone they knew. Then they ask me out. It’s happened multiple times and I have very unique features and am mixed race and I’ve never met anyone that looks like me. Either there really is my doppelgänger out there or it’s a tactic to start talking to me.

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Snowbattt · 2022-05-24T11:27:26+00:00

Fuck. When I read some of the ways guys approach women (with sexual, gross and inappropriate shit) I can't help but think I'm really a tame, polite person. I wouldn't even think of doing it that way. Also if a woman says no, I disengage immediately. The main reason being that I just don't want to be seen as a creep. I'd rather be seen as an asshole or a distant and aloof guy than a creep.

So if I approach a woman in, say, the indoor climbing gym, I guess I can just say "Hi, you come here often?" and assume that's appropriate?

The worst part is that I have had several female friends and a couple of female colleagues tell me I look good, mainly because I'm tall and athletic-ly built but I'm so scared of being humiliated by rejection or being seen as a creep, that I simply don't approach women.

revente · 2022-05-24T13:59:47+00:00

You look like my mum.

Wanna fuck?

toasterchild · 2022-05-24T13:44:10+00:00

I think you'd be surprised how many men go for the sexual stuff right away like "i can imagine you wearing that outfit and doing xyz to me" but i found those guys tended to be the least aggressive, they just wanted me to know or something.

The really pushy ones tended to start out really slow with like a what are you doing here sort of question then not take no for an answer. The especially creepy ones did weird stuff like lip sync me entire fucking songs from across the room.

The best ones were the guys who knew how to use i want you eyes and flirt their way up to a conversation over the course of a night. I still never met anyone that i accepted a date from but those guys probably got the most positive reaction from me.

neolib-cowboy · 2022-05-24T19:21:01+00:00

This is an aside but dudes need to stop asking girls if they have a BF in the cold approach. Theyll tell you if they dont like you.

Ripe-Fruit · 2022-05-24T01:58:51+00:00

I (28F) literally rarely have ever been spoken to or hit on in public since I was 18 years old and started going out in public more by myself.

The last time was about a year ago with the guy starting a convo about how most of the items in the store are gone because of the pandemic. He was definitely trying to hit on me because he had that look on his face when he first saw me.

Most men just look at me with a starstruck face and don’t talk to me lol.

basedmama21 · 2022-05-24T01:53:16+00:00

When I was single it was always small talk and then a date offer. Waste no time. I was into it.

Example.

We’re both at our gym Guy: “hey what’s your name?” Then nice to meet you, how long have you been going here, ok would you like to check out (insert restaurant or bar - nice bar not sleazy hook up culture bar) sometime together

Then boom

avoriure · 2022-05-24T02:51:15+00:00

probably have heard all of those things. mainly on the street, most guys either ask for my name, if i have a bf, or comment something gross about my body. old men tend to be more gross. tbh, mainly young men ask if i’m taken or if i have plans anytime soon. it’s more rare that someone starts with something sexual but it does happen. depends on where i am. if i’m around a bunch of guys, they’ll think it’s cool to comment on my body. have had a few guys whistle at me when driving by which is gross. the most pleasant experience i’ve ever had being asked out by a random guy was when this guy came up to me and said “sorry to bother you but I think you’re really pretty and I want to take the chance at asking you out because i’ll probably never see you again” i appreciated it

Selkie-Princess · 2022-05-24T05:22:57+00:00

I get hit on all the time (most days that I leave the house) and it really runs the gambit. Sometimes it’s polite, sometimes insanely sexual, compliments, requests/questions, sometimes it’s playful, sometimes it turns menacing. Many times saying I’m married doesn’t put an end to it, and I’ve been begged, screamed at, offered money, followed, demanded, threatened, cried at, and once I had a man ask for my number then -when I said no- try to get a police officer to chase me down by telling the officer that I was his wife and “having an episode and a suicide risk”.

I get this attention from boys/men from like 14-70 and honestly age seems to have no real effect. I might be told something equally as polite or as raunchy by a teenager and an old man. For the most part, a man being in a suit is a bad sign in terms of how upset he’s going to be when I turn him down, and generally a lot of white men (I’m also white) will say the more ABSOLUTELY OUT OF POCKET shit to me while still feeling seemingly entitled to my attention. But overall it’s pretty unpredictable

mackenzie013_02 · 2022-05-24T02:35:56+00:00

I’ve heard many different things. I like cheesy lines that are funny; and one guy did it really well by following with offering me his number (I much preferred that as opposed to asking for my number).

The worst I heard was some older guy told me I’d look really hot if I was dead. 😳

Environmental_Ear106 · 2022-05-24T05:37:17+00:00

For me when I approach women all of the above, I’m literally a movie character with that tommy boy and diary of a wimpy kid.

Yummylicky23 · 2022-05-24T02:56:23+00:00

I’ve never been approached lmao

Alfalfa2-Throwaway · 2022-05-24T01:36:50+00:00

Depends on the setting tbh - if I'm in a bar it's most likely to be some sort of compliment sometimes a cheesy pickup line, the only time I've had strangers straight-up lead with creepy sexual stuff it's when I'm catcalled

In settings like at the gym/park etc they're more likely to ask you a question "what's the time", "do you know how to get to X" etc and then when you answer will sort of hold you verbally hostage.

Frequency?

Happens every time I've ever gone to a bar or club.

Happens semi-regularly in other settings.

sublimemongrel · 2022-05-24T01:53:26+00:00

All manner of things there’s no real set standard IME. Obviously setting matters. Most of the time it’s just some way of trying to establish a line of communication. Nevertheless it’s always been pretty obvious to me.

Comprehensive_Bed314 · 2022-05-24T02:41:16+00:00

Men I don’t know well (or men who are strangers) have approached me to become acquaintances or friends. It usual goes something like “Hi, [insert situational thing here]. Do you have social media? Really, no social media?”

It’s only friends who have approached me for potential romance.

ppd_reject · 2022-05-24T02:53:55+00:00

I got approached a lot back when I lived in Latin America. I don't remember the exact lines but it was usually some kind of compliment such as "you're beautiful". Here in North America men seem more likely to approach during an event or some kind of activity. And most of the time they do it in a friendly manner that's indistinguishable from women approaching be just to talk. I prefer this. Direct approaches generally turn me off.

sarkington · 2022-05-24T02:56:33+00:00

Either crude catcalling or ostensibly normal interaction

Stunning-Spirit5275 · 2022-05-24T03:27:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Catherine772023 · 2022-05-24T11:46:57+00:00

Some just ask for my number or compliment my outfit or appearance or ask for coffee.

RinoaRita · 2022-05-24T12:08:41+00:00

I actually don’t get hit on much. Most of my relationships/hookups met online.

youdontevengoh3r3 · 2022-05-24T15:47:43+00:00

Men who are interested in dating usually don't cold approach. Most guys I've dated I met through friends or events. A lot of cold approaches are just interested in your appearance and just want to fuck. They usually have a topic they try to start a conversation about whatever it may be just to talk to you then work in the asking out. It's very obvious usually and very awkward for me. Sometimes they just walk up and sit next to me at the bar even if my boyfriend is on the other side of me and start poking me like I'm going to turn and look at them now. Very awkward.

Kizka · 2022-05-24T15:51:28+00:00

No, most of the time it is normal, polite and tame approaches. I think the last time I got a crude one was when I was a teen from another teen, I assume and hope that that dude would not behave like that anymore as an adult. I'm from a country where men usually do not display crass unacceptable behaviour, not that it doesn't happen, but I would say usually the social encounters with strangers are harmless and polite. Recently I was approached in a bar and the guy simply asked if I was on my own and if I'd want to join him at his table. Perfectly normal and polite behaviour.

2022-05-24T16:17:06+00:00

I hear it all. The latest strange one was I was with my young daughter and this stranger just swooped in close to me and was like “I love you.” Then just walked off.

Most times I just get simple compliments “you’re beautiful” “nice smile” and I say “thank you” and keep it pushing.

Occasionally I get full on harassed “ooooh I know you have a BODY under that [loose fitting modest knee length] dress. Gross.

chalkandapples · 2022-05-24T18:19:37+00:00

Usually just hi, or try to strike up a conversation about whatever I'm doing at the moment. Sometimes they'll tell me I'm pretty, but not often. Usually just try to chit chat with me to see if there's any mutual interest on my part.

Orange_Paisley · 2022-05-24T18:50:21+00:00

Most of the time they compliment my eyes. Sometimes my hair.

m0rbidowl · 2022-05-25T02:18:34+00:00

“Do you have a Snapchat/Instagram?” “Do you have a boyfriend?” “We should hang out sometime”

ghelwayaysyaya · 2022-05-25T07:39:20+00:00

it’s usually creepy but even if it isn’t i don’t like talking to people i want to be left alone

anon018274031 · 2022-05-25T15:07:31+00:00

Dont really get approached anymore (23). When I was a teenager it was more common- it would usually be ‘hi, generic compliment, do you have a boyfriend’

penguintransformer · 2022-05-26T18:15:51+00:00

Most men tell me I'm beautiful and continue the conversation from there. A small amount of men have mentioned sex as they approached me.

godandgoddess · 2022-05-25T03:43:42+00:00

Small talk mostly. I’ve never had a guy say something creepy directly in my day to day life.

It’s the intentional body language and behaviors of certain guys that make someone creepy.

Title	What men usually say when they approach you?
Author	Felizem_velair_
Upvotes	4
Comments	120
Date	May 24, 2022 1:11 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/uwf8bo/what_men_usually_say_when_they_approach_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-men-usually-say-when-they-approach-you.1118777 https://theredarchive.com/post/1118777

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