The Entitlement

jimsmythee · 2022-08-31T16:38:19+00:00

My exwife said the same thing. She said she was a SAHM, and there was no expectation that she would be [gasp] required to work, because she said she's "too sick to work."

She was completely unreasonable.

So we had to go to trial, and the judge told her that there was no reason why she wasn't working, that she needed to get a job, and gave her $0 alimony on an 11 year marriage. That's an AZ divorce for you!

TheBoyBand · 2022-08-31T17:19:27+00:00

"I'm the mother of your children!!!"

samk002001 · 2022-08-31T16:31:46+00:00

Demolish family courts! I’m so disgusted by it, the government need to leave us alone! When people sign the marriage certificate, you’re not marrying to each other but tying yourself to the family court system. When things don’t work out, they can just exploit you and take most of the things you’ve acquired during the marriage! The biggest things they took from men, their time! We don’t have a lot of 5 years!

Classic_Dill · 2022-08-31T17:36:44+00:00

Hahahahahahahaha!!!!! so true, my ex cheated a few times (apparently) and she was unhappy after the divorce, because is sat her down and laid the law down. Don't call, don't text, forget holidays (for her and me), you're banned from my home! and she gets pissed because i wouldn't help her when she got a flat on the HWY. Incredible!!! its called narcissism my friend. Told her to call her 22 year old difference boyfriend and wake him up (it was noon). I left her on the HWY, why do they think we owe them? lol

georeddit2018 · 2022-08-31T15:39:56+00:00

The law allows it. They marry for security. Thats why they push men to marry them because if things don't work out, they are still getting paid.

pk2at · 2022-08-31T15:51:01+00:00

They don't start off this way, many try to have a career and family, when things don't work out though they change tune and begin to think they are entitled

MathForPay · 2022-08-31T16:52:26+00:00

I’d like to add some observations to help the discussion. 1. Women are hardwired to seek providers. For most of human history, providers looked more like football players than computer engineers. 2. Women have more economic power than ever before. They make up over half of medical school graduates. 3. Family law was written for the worst case that could happen in 1920s where a man could just walk out on his family and leave the wife and children destitute.

Put all those things together, and you end up where we are: Women who seem to marry for stability end up running away with the tennis coach, while claiming half the marital estate.

CRobinsFly · 2022-08-31T19:24:32+00:00

Heard something similar from mine - you'd think she was asking me to purchase the house next door and continue to attend to her house and chores.

"No those are yours to deal with now." It really didnt help that when her parents divorced her father had "taken care of" her mother for many years afterward so she got the impression that men should do that - this same man got sole custody of his kids in the 90s which is almost unheard-of in my opinion.

When she called it quits with me, I was in the midst of several moderate remodels on the house: mostly flooring and a vanity replacement and she had the gall to ask me to finish them - "no". I was proud to see that even as long as 4 months later they still werent done/completed. Lol! She can pay me market rate if she wants me to do them now!

Soggy_Nose_7173 · 2022-08-31T15:56:58+00:00

Exactly which is why for men it is so important to do the following if you marry:

she always works. If you have kids, just bite the bullet and pay for daycare. This will keep her working instead of becoming a SAHM.
Only marry women who actually have career potential that is equal to your income potential or higher. Make sure to calculate over your entire career. You might be making crap money right now but in 5-10 years you might be making 100k+.
Never marry poor women with low potential.
Never marry any woman with mental health issues.
Always take total control of the finances so at least you can direct the money to be invested/saved instead of spent on worthless trinkets. I've seen so many guys get married, focus on their careers making good money, only to have that money being spent on spa treatments and mall shopping trips.
Try to find a woman who has large pre-marital assets and then when you get married, try to get her to convert these assets to marital assets. If you ever get divorced, you will be getting 50% of these assets even though you never earned them.

Just based on these rules, the VAST MAJORITY of women are not "wife material". The sooner you realize this and learn to accept it, the better off you will be.

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-08-31T15:55:32+00:00

Women's proclivity is emotionalism, not rationalism. AKA "feels before reals".

david10277 · 2022-08-31T20:04:56+00:00

Dont get married...

If your divorced dont remarry

If your married and want to divorce her she better be making more income, you need to quit your job ..stay home and let her work and support you for a year while you take care of the "home and kids" Then divorce her.

21 to 25yrs olds for me going forward. Build a full lifestyle so that all a women can contribute to it..is providing sex and fun company. Girls that age want fun and good times..no babies..no marriage..no crazy drama. Over 30 and they want babies..over 40 and they want to be married ..over 50..fuck that..lol

Also ..Stop worrying about being lonely...build a full life and you will always have company of females who just like your free spirit and energy.

SilverknightFL · 2022-08-31T16:22:47+00:00

If, like Florida, ask the court for an implied income report. You have to pay for it. But even if she's never worked, the report will tell the court what she is capable of making, even if at McDonald's with no work experience. The court will deduct that amount from any alimony, whether she decides to work or not. Also, you must have the ability to pay without it significantly impacting your style of life. She is NOT supposed to have the same lifestyle as when married and neither are you. You are both to have a similar (typically lower) lifestyle. A lot of lawyers on the women's side tend to only tell them that they are entitled to half of everything you have. But they tend to forget to mention that also means liabilities. All assets and liabilities for both of you are added up and typically split equally.

beachndesert · 2022-08-31T18:17:48+00:00

My ex also said the exact same thing. Sorry but you need to go to work to buy diapers for your new man who is 78 years old (15 years older than me , 17 years older than her.).

James1933-75 · 2022-08-31T21:26:10+00:00

Mine, to my amazement, started working. She is entitled to disability, but will not apply for it. She is extremely mentally unwell, but believes if she applies for disability, then I will use it against her for custody. She is qualified, on paper, to work a high paying, high stress job, but doesn't want to. She recently complained she didn't have enough money for rent. I was thinking, this is just so dumb. BTW, I have a screenshot of her chat saying all this.

Antique_Pace_4207 · 2022-09-01T03:40:28+00:00

I was only married for 5 years. Took care of everything during while dating and married. She took 250k in assets I built, and is happy to take CS that equals my mortgage payment. She works full time and has a phd, is a tenured professor. She was financially rewarded, I’m struggling to pick up the pieces while indebted to my ex because she wants what is legally hers, and she’s content with taking way more than the kids need. We have 50/50 and share expenses too.

jkw118 · 2022-09-01T03:42:23+00:00

I totally get it. My ex was like one of us needed to move out, and that it was me. I refused, for a multitude of reasons. Mainly because I took care of the kids primarily as well as worked ft (her mom watched the kid otherwise) and she didn't work.

So divorce starts, and she's like you need to move out. Oh and stop by every day take care of the kids when ya get out of work and put them to bed. Crash at your apartment and get them out the door in the AM. I'm like wtf, that's nuts (fyi she has mental issues, I discovered afterwards) (Pretty sure she qualifies for disability (should be in assisted living), but won't as it'd mess with her image that her family has of her.)

Kids are with me, and I cover 100% of everything for them.

Even till today, I still get crap that I'm not paying her living expenses (her parents are). And I get constant things of oh woe is me, I can't pay for anything. We should get back together... Ugh I can't wait till I never have to deal with her again.

4rdfun · 2022-09-01T18:17:24+00:00

Same boat here, separated on 4/1, living at my parents ('m 50 btw), she doesn't work and I pay for every damn thing and when I call it out I get called petty. This get better when we have a court order and or when the D if finalized, until then, this woman if a f-ing monster.

syro23 · 2022-09-01T05:36:45+00:00

Here’s a fun phrase to use. “That sounds like something a husband would do.” Or if you wanna be vulgar, when she says the quality she is accustomed to you tell her you are accustomed to sex, and she needs to take care of you as well.

My ex just the other day asked me to help her put some gym equipment together. I don’t tell her no, I pretend like I will and then put her off and delay it cause I know it pisses her off more.

janiepsu1991 · 2022-08-31T16:11:20+00:00

Because unfortunately she is probably right.

kapriece · 2022-09-01T04:02:30+00:00

In my situation I blocked the b*tch on every for of communication I could think of. I heard the same stuff. I just got tired of hearing it. Kids turned on me so I Cut my losses, gassed up the gravy train, and drove on by. Life has been peaceful tho I always miss my kids. Op I feel your post on my soul with the entitlement.

lostcanuck007 · 2022-09-01T08:02:17+00:00

she...is not wrong, depending on the state you 2 live in and filed in.

alimony and CS can cross 4 to 10k easily depending on income disparity and amount of kids.

you will have to pay for the house coz of the kids, and depending on alimony laws, she will be given most of what she was accustomed to.

there's a reason she is saying this, you need to be very sure what the laws say in your state as well as the prenup/postnup says.

georeddit2018 · 2022-09-01T11:33:57+00:00

Here is my question. Why is it that the court and pastors don't provide people the terms and conditions before marriage, so everyone that wants marriage know what they are getting into financially.

It seems that people get surprised about what marriage is when they experience the process of divorce.

LonelyNC123 · 2022-09-01T15:50:02+00:00

Sorry dude. Men should never, ever get married.

In am in a long term marriage. Toughed it out till our one child started college. Spouse made ZERO effort to help pay for that or our combined retirement while I endure an occupation I despise with every cell in my body where stress is killing me WAY faster than Father Time (I am 57). I mean ZERO effort, zip, none, nada!

Last year while our one child was at college I said to her 'You know, we don't have a good relationship. You know I have been very, very unhappy for many, many years but I have always tried to do right by you and our daughter. How about we split everything 50/50 and part as friends?'. (About 80% of our total assets came from me).

Her response? 'How much money will you give me every month?'.

Well, the only way I have to hand her a check every month is by staying in a Corporate job that is KILLING ME. She knows this job is killing me, she does not care. Her response did not exactly say 'LOVE' did it?

I am about as far as possible from one of those women hating "Incel" guys but I understand how men are driven to that.

So, sorry man. Men should never get married.

Title	The Entitlement
Author	TheBoyBand
Upvotes	78
Comments	83
Date	August 31, 2022 3:27 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/x2ggvo/the_entitlement/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/the-entitlement.1130593 https://theredarchive.com/post/1130593

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