Would you choose to help another Woman over your own Son?

thelajestic · 2020-11-05T12:39:16+00:00

I'm not sure that a sensationalised reality TV show showcasing the worst of humanity is really a good place to understand or determine any trends in the general population.

My answer would very much depend on what the situation was. In that specific situation, no, I'd be there for my son in whatever way he needed - would absolutely support (and recommend) walking away at that point.

hypothememe · 2020-11-05T13:08:08+00:00

If I had a son in this situation, I'd embrace his decision, no matter what it was.

If he decided to cut ties with this woman and the 2 children he thought were his...I'd have his back and would do everything legally possible to make sure he doesn't spend a dime of child support.

If he decided that he loved those 2 children so much that it would break his heart to not be their adoptive father...I'd have his back and would ensure he is legally considered the father so that he would get custody rights even if the gf left him.

Fuck that girlfriend though. Should have gotten a paternity test done before ever letting him spend years believing those are his kids. You don't play with people's hearts like that, what a bitch.

hypothememe · 2020-11-05T15:13:34+00:00

Lol. If a woman did that to my brother he'd probably be the one holding me back from kicking her ass (he's a peaceful soul). The same goes for hypothetical son.

I sided with my sister's ex over her as did my whole family (she cheated more than once). She didn't get cut off entirely, but we still have a relationship with him too, invite him to major events, and keep in touch with him. Whenever she gets angry we just point out that he became a part of our family (they were together for like 5 years) and she's the one who fucked up, not him. When she threatens to boycott major family gatherings if he's invited we just say good, don't come then. She always comes.

hypothememe · 2020-11-05T16:42:58+00:00

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_mwk · 2020-11-05T13:39:33+00:00

jesus christ that woman is insane, poor boy

yeah, id side with my son over his cheating woman ? id side with a stranger over the cheating partner tbh, cheating disgusts me too much

would i side with my son if he is the cheating one ? id probably make my opinion known that cheating is disgusting but i think at the end id side with him and ill just question myself on where did i go wrong to end up with a cheater as a kid.

women protect eachother even when they’re wrong more than Men protect eachother

i dont think this is this case here with the video, my guess is that what interests his mother is the children, not really their mother or father, she wants access to "grandkids" and she can only keep that if he "mans up" and stays with a cheating liar. absolutely insane.

bc if there's one thing mothers protect as a biological tendency is their offspring, not other females.

501tracj · 2020-11-05T13:07:47+00:00

So my question to Women here, would you tell your son to ‘Man up’?

No.

First of all, I do my best to avoid this phrase all together. It's shitty, it doesn't help, it bottles up emotions.

Secondly, in a similar situation I'd try to comfort him and get him into therapy as all this experience is traumatic. I'd accept any decision he'd make. The only thing is that I'm really not sure whether I'd be able to "let go" grandchildren that I cared for for a few years that turned out not to be "mine" in terms of blood relation. It's shitty for each person involved.

Thirdly, in terms of "calling people out" I don't think you're right. There are women who judge other women really harshly partially thanks to our gender conditioning and seeing others as competitors. You can see a lot of of among tradwives/religious women etc., as they have really high and narrow standards for other women and they do judge them harshly for not fitting in.

petrichordium · 2020-11-05T12:29:47+00:00

If that was the case, what of the mother-in-law/wife catfighting trope? Seems like counter-example of popular culture stereotypes

SmurfESmurferson · 2020-11-05T15:45:53+00:00

That grandmom is going Team Kids, not Team Woman. I’m willing to bet there will be hell to pay for the mom going forward, and that ultimately the grandmother won’t support an ongoing relationship between the two parents

And at a certain point, she is right to think of the kids - it’s not their fault their mom is cheating scum, and having the only father they’ve ever known ripped from their life will be traumatic and emotionally scarring. They’re as innocent as the father in this, possibly even more innocent (we have no information on whether he’s cheated himself, or is a perfect saint)

As far as men not going Team Man, that’s completely laughable. Look at how men react to a divorce vs women - it’s night and day. Men are more likely to not want to support their own children, and to receive support for this decision from their peers/the MRA movement

SucreLavande · 2020-11-05T14:44:51+00:00

No ! Check out the justno MIL sub for a more realistic picture of what usually happens

analt223 · 2020-11-05T20:36:16+00:00

When I was in high school, my mom and sister protected my sister's friend's mom over me when she said some rude comments about me getting a bad grade in a class. Not life or death, but it made me look at my mom and sister way differently.

hypothememe · 2020-11-05T14:25:36+00:00

You realize you’re watching a clip designed to give you an emotional reaction so you watch more episodes of Maury right? Lmao

Snacksbreak · 2020-11-05T15:49:31+00:00

This is trash t.v. full of actors and liars looking for their 15 mins.

Would I help another person over my child? Depends on context. Did my kid rape someone? Murder someone? Or is my kid the victim? Is it something more gray?

If my kid is a murderer (assuming it wasn'tself defense), then I've failed them as a parent. The best thing I can do is love them and allow them to face the consequences of their actions (jail, reparations).

If my kid is being targeted by someone, maybe I'm about to be the murderer. Remains to be seen. I have a strong (overdeveloped even) sense of justice. I get that from my mom. I will always want to make it right.

sorebum405 · 2020-11-05T16:25:56+00:00

It seems in general that Women protect eachother even when they’re wrong more than Men protect eachother (can make that a CMV if you want).

Yep,this study shows that women's in group bias is 4.5x stronger than men's.

StatementProper4450 · 2020-11-05T19:13:59+00:00

If they are not his kids he should move on. He'll be dragging a ball and chain with him for the rest of his life.

Think of the situation. Some guy knocked up your woman and now you are going to support his kids???

Yea bro F my gf/wife and don't worry if you get her pregnant. I'll take care of the kids for you so you can keep banging random chicks. This is the ultimate simp move.

Maleficent-Kaiba · 2020-11-05T19:24:19+00:00

If my son raped or abused a woman I would not take his side. Basically it boils down to who was at fault. I take the side that needs taking. I would defend him to death if a woman wronged him.

anonymous71638zoao · 2020-11-05T20:23:42+00:00

Yup, I would say "Man up"

"Stop crying and let's get as far away from that bitch as we can""

LotBuilder · 2020-11-05T21:39:32+00:00

As a dad, that would be absolutely heartbreaking news because you love those kids... but you gotta bounce and start over.

Texan2116 · 2020-11-05T21:43:14+00:00

Dude is 17?, how old were the kids? He just got his life back...I am sure by now he has seen the light at the bullet he dodged.

2020-11-05T14:48:33+00:00

Heck no I wouldn't tell him to "man up"; he's been cheated on (one of the absolute worst betrayals ever!) and those aren't even his kids. My son wouldn't be the villain in that scenario. I'd be there to support him in his pain and I don't consider it "betraying the sisterhood" or whatever by calling out the wrong behavior of my peers the same as I would anyone else.

GridReXX · 2020-11-05T15:26:17+00:00

I think the mom was trying to do the right thing for the kids not the young lady. You watched that and thought the mom cared about the girl more? Maybe. I think you’re ignoring some other factors at play here — the mom’s socioeconomic status, traumas, experiences, etc.

In this case, I would excuse my son from that situation and budget some time initially to help the girl get partnered up with social workers, her church, therapy [for my son too], and support that isn’t our family. And then wish her well.

hypothememe · 2020-11-05T12:38:06+00:00

Blood relationships and gender play no factor in what party I decide to help over any other.

I don't believe in "loyalty" in general and decide on an issue per issue basis where I stand.

Thatshygurl · 2020-11-05T15:36:33+00:00

No, and I don’t think this is a good general example of how mothers are today or anything. This is literally a dramatized reality TV show

mademoiselle29 · 2020-11-05T17:06:02+00:00

I think his mom was just trying to comfort him. He probably told her that he wants to be their "dad" no matter what, and finding out he wasnt their biological father hit him hard. His mom was just trying to be a mom.

That said, if my future hypothetical son was in this situation, I'd support his decision to stay or leave. My son would be my priority, and this kid seems like a good guy. It's not like he wants to leave his OWN kids... he seems like he wants to stay for someone else's kids. It takes an amazing person to be willing to do that. I dont think I'd be able to do that for a guy... at least I havent been willing to so far.

Reisiluu · 2020-11-05T23:06:18+00:00

I would tell my son to run far away from a cheating slut and her spawn, holy shit. Fuck these people who can't even give society the basic courtesy of keeping track of who they are having kids with.

I'm sure she'll find plenty of compassionate people who would be willing to raise the kid with her so she doesn't have to manipulate an innocent 17 year old to do it. Unless they are hypocrites who think only victims of paternity fraud should think of the children and man up.

medlabunicorn · 2020-11-06T00:11:01+00:00

It would depend on if my son was in the wrong. In this case, he isn’t. I wouldn’t want him tied to a cheater.

grand_tiremaster · 2020-11-06T01:00:18+00:00

Hell no. Your kids come first always.

Harvest895 · 2020-11-06T05:45:37+00:00

For the folks defending the mother saying he should stay even though he’s not the father. I would say you’re viewing this in a equal level. I mean this really favors the mother. He can support the children all he wants but when it comes to court and custody he has no say if she reveals that he’s not the father. Family court does not care how much you love those kids. If you’re not the father you can’t not get custody.

CatchPhraze · 2020-11-05T14:16:37+00:00

Is this scripted reality TV show indictive of real life? No.

Hell my sisters kids are her husband's 100% and her MIL still acts like he should leave lol.

DelicateDevelopment · 2020-11-05T19:19:26+00:00

No way. Under no fucking circumstances. A mom I know whose son turned father at 18 tried everything possible to make her son get a paternity test. He does not want to. But definitely she (the mom I know and also the grandmom) would NEVER try to talk him into this.

So whatever happened before that video I have doubts that the situation really is as it looks like. I don't know any woman that would sell her son like this.

YveisGrey · 2020-11-05T17:12:00+00:00

Situations like these are bad example one because obviously this is sensationalize TV entertainment. But on a more serious note there’s children involved and people have empathy for children especially women. Of course the mother is going to advocate for him to step up for those kids because they are kids. People stand up for children all the time that are not their own children that is why we have things like foster care, orphanages and adoption its also why children are good way to get people to donate to causes. Because of the helplessness of children we feel sorry for them i’m pretty sure his mother is thinking a lot more about those kids then she’s thinking about the mother she’s not asking him to be there for the mother’s sake but for those children’s sake.

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2020-11-05T15:47:31+00:00

Maury Pouvitch is still on?

rft24 · 2020-11-05T16:00:06+00:00

depends on what my son did. in this example, he’s not the father & he is the victim of cheating so i’d side with him & support whatever decision he wants to make.

if my son did something absolutely wrong though, like if he were exposed as a cheater, a rapist, an abuser, a thief, etc. then i absolutely would side with whoever was wronged becausee, not only would i be further wronging his victims, but i would also be doing my son a huge disservice to enable that kind of behavior. i’d be teaching him that it’s okay to be a degenerate & encouraging his machiavellianism. i’d essentially be contributing to the addition of men with dark triad traits in the world, which is a problem for literally everyone.

the last thing i’d ever want to do is raise another menace to society. i would feel responsible for whatever awful things he did because he is an extension of me, as my child; & whatever he becomes is a largely a result of my parenting.

2020-11-05T16:28:04+00:00

can mods remove stupid shit like this

SaBahRub · 2020-11-05T16:37:52+00:00

My life isn’t a scripted show for lowest common denominator entertainment, so no

Also, FYI, movies aren’t real either

87AudreyHorne · 2020-11-05T17:22:08+00:00

I don't have a son but I have a brother and obviously I would not help another woman over him (real him, not some hypothetical him who hurts women)

I also gave my brother advice many times but never to man up

I prioritize people I care about over any collective. I don't love any collective, only individuals

Stupid question based on a totally random example

rubbooyuri · 2020-11-05T20:25:50+00:00

Are you saying we should imitate the antics of attention-seeking, low-class, dysfunctional people, as distorted by a tv production? No thanks

jackandjill22 · 2020-11-05T21:26:02+00:00

Mimoxs · 2020-11-05T23:07:43+00:00

If I even have a son I'd side with anything or anyone if it goes against him so yes

nik6979 · 2020-11-06T08:25:48+00:00

What is wrong with having compassion for Childern ?? The children are human beings that have needs and attachments too.

Title	Would you choose to help another Woman over your own Son?
Author	hypothememe
Upvotes	72
Comments	265
Date	November 5, 2020 12:21 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/johu5u/would_you_choose_to_help_another_woman_over_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/would-you-choose-to-help-another-woman-over-your.1193848 https://theredarchive.com/post/1193848

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